SBURB:Pre-Release
by MediocreMisterM
Summary: When a group of bored teens get access to a brand new game, three weeks before it's meant to open world-wide, what will they find? Follow as the kids go into a world unbeknownst to them and face terrible threats, horrible abominations, annoying glitches, and creatures of supernatural origins.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Jazz Hattie

A young lady stands in her bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 16th of March, is this young ladies thirtee-wait, what? We can't do the thirteen thing? Too over used? Who the hell is even paying attention to that!? I-ok, fine. *Ahem* It just so happens that today, the 16th of March, is this young ladies seventeenth birthday. There, better? As it being her seventeenth birthday, the lady has already been given a name for exactly four years so far. Uhh... actually... what was her name again?

== Girl: Enter Name

Oh, yes! That's right! This ladies name is Jazz Hattie, and she is patiently waiting for her older Cousin to return home with a copy of her new game she was able to gain special early access to, along with five of her friends. As previously mentioned, she is currently standing in her bedroom. At least, the part that doesn't have shit thrown _literally_ everywhere. All around you are several of your remnants of your favorite things, including at the very least seventy Pokemon cards and figurines, several science and biology books, manga and anime DVD cases, and a few shitty drawings you've made. Along with that, you have a few Steven Universe posters on the walls, and a kind of bad laptop on your desk, which also happens to be covered in Pokemon figurines. You computer is open to your mostly used social media site Pesterchum, where you're signed in under your chumhandle, trainingInformant. What will you do?

== Jazz: Arm yourself

You think about the need to fight off any dangerous creatures you'll find in your small, empty apartment and decide to grab your weapon. It is an amazing weapon, in your own opinion. You walk to your desk and equip your kinda shitty Purple Pen and it goes into your Pen/Pencilkind. You're honestly kind of surprised you've kept this thing for so long, almost four years. And, somehow, it still works. If just barely.

== Jazz: Pick up a figurine

You look over your desk and grab one of your favorites of your collection; a shiny Popplio figure. It's surprising you bought this thing for only fifteen bucks. You pick it up and it automatically goes into your Type Match-Up Modus. Unsurprisingly, the figure goes in as a Water-type. Pretty easy to retreve, just have to use another item of either Grass or Electric types. Thank Gog you've spent the majority of your young childhood playing and memorizing Pokemon games. Wait, what?

== Jazz: Realize what you just said

Gog? Where in the world did you get 'Gog' from? Oh, right. Those weird guys you talk to sometimes. You're pretty sure they've said that a few times. You don't really care for them. Although, two or three of them are okay. You wouldn't consider them 'friends' though, except for the one that types in the wierd pink-purple. She's cool. Speaking of, it looks like she's trying to contact you. Yeah, someones contacting you. That stupid notification sound on that website is retardedly loud. You should change that.

== Jazz: Answer friend

timelessOceanographer [TO] has begun trolling trainingInformant [TI]

TO: heeey jazzy!

TI: heeey Say! what's up?

TO: just checking in t(o) ask if y(o)u have y(o)ur game yet?

TO: d(o) ya? d(o) ya? d(o) ya?

TI: wow, calm down there Valdro, I don't have it yet.

TI: my cuz should have it though. it is my birthday and i've been asking for it.

TO: birthday? (O)H, right! happy wrigg[ing day, btw!

TI: i still don't get why you call it that.

TI: it's kinda weird.

TI: i ain't no bug.

TO: yeah, i kn(o)w, its just what we ca[[ it here.

TI: where you are?

TI: oh, yeah. i forgot.

TI: your and... 'ALIEN' aren't ya?

TI: lol

TO: d(o)n't y(o)u patr(o)nize me, jazz.

TO: we are a very pr(o)ud species.

TI: whatever, you know i joke with you.

TO: yeah i kn(o)w.

TO: (o)h, shit.

TO: uh, gimme a minute.

TI: okie dokie!

timelessOceanographer [TO] is now idle

timelessOceanographer [TO] is now active

TO: hey.

TO: pr(o)b[em happening.

TO: g(o)tta g(o).

TI: mkay.

TI: later!

timelessOceanographer [TO] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

Yeah, she's the one that's cool. Although, she's never really on because of her job. What kind of teen has a job that keeps them away nearly twenty-four seven? That should be illegal, right? Right?

== Jazz: Look outside

You step away from the computer and go to your window. You love living where you are. You can see the sea line from here along with a near perfect view of the Space Needle. The traffic here sucks and the foods God-awful, but Seattle has some charm to it. You look down and see that your Cousin has finally gotten home. And she's carrying a bag! This may be your lucky day! What are you saying? Of course it is! It's your B-Day! Or... W-Day! Whatever Saylen calls it. Even if she IS an alien, why would it be wriggling? What are they, bugs? Or some other kind of wriggling creature that aren't born normally? Why are you even questioning this, she isn't an alien! Neither is any of those other weirdos.

== Jazz: Go downstairs to get the game

You run over to your door, but before you can open it, your Cousin already bursts it open, almost hitting you in the face. All she does is look down, smile, and gives you the bag.

Cousin: Happy B'day, runt.

Cousin: Have a couple things.

Jazz: oh, wow! thanks cuz!

Cousin: No prob.

She pats your head and goes back out. She's so friggin' chill and shit! She's awesome!

== Jazz: Open bag

You open the bag and pull out everything you can. The contents contain your copy of the great new game you and your friends are to be playing, a... second copy of the same game? What? And something that looks a little bit like a viewport for a computer. Holy crap! This is cool! You put the items into your modus for the time being. One copy of the game is classified as Fire and the other is Ground and the viewport is Electric. A decent combination of types.

== Jazz: Install the viewport

You return to your computer and sit down. This should be easy enough, right? You go into your modus and look at the cards. You move the card that is Ground over the Electric card. Instantly, the word 'Critical!' is shown above the card and you obtain the viewport. You struggle with hooking the thing up to your computer for about ten minutes before you finally figure it out. Once it's wired up properly, a new icon appears on your Pesterchum screen. A small camera symbol appears under a few of your friends names, including Saylen's. Guess that means they all have viewports too? Nice, you get to talk face-to-face with your friends now!

== Jazz: Start a facetime with a friend

As soon as you start looking over who all has a camera, Saylen's handle turns it's normal color again. Must have gotten back from whatever. This will be a perfect opportunity to try! Although, you should normal chat with her before starting a facetime.

trainingInformant [TI] has begun pestering timelessOceanographer [TO]

TI: heeey, Say!

TI: everything alright?

TO: yeah everything's c(o)(o)[.

TO: just tiring is a[[.

TO: what' up?

TI: well, two things.

TI: thing number one: i gots my games!

TO: w(o)w rea[[y?

TO: awes(o)me!

TO: and the sec(o)nd (o)ne?

TI: thing number b: i got a viewport!

TO: what?

TO: wait.

TO: are y(o)u saying what i thing y(o)u're saying?

TI: let's start a facetime.

TI: can finally see what an alien looks like.

TI: lol

TO: y(o)u're sti[[ g(o)ing t(o) say i'm n(o)t an a[ien aren't y(o)u?

TI: until i see proof otherwise, you shall remain a human being.

TO: ...a[right.

TO: start it up then.

TI: ooo, demanding huh?

TI: heh, alright.

You move down your cursor to the camera symbol and click it. It takes a minute for it to turn on, since it is the first time you've ever used it, so you take the time to adjust your viewport.

TI: alright, i'm ready!

TO: get prepared t(o) be pr(o)ven wr(o)ng.

After a second, a screen pops up and allows you see your friend for the first time. As soon as you see her you are, in a very simple word, intrigued by her appearance. The first extremely noticeable thing was that she had grey skin, with a very slight pink tint to it. Along with those, on the sides of her head she had a pair of fins with several piercings,and just above those were a set of horns. The horns were fairly simple, yet cool at the same time. They both pointed straight out, but the one on the left had about four inches pointed upwards with a slight curve, and the right was the same but pointed down with a curve. On the left horn was about three... what are those, bracelets? While the right one only had one. She also had a few nose and lip piercings, along with a set of rather impressive fangs. She appeared to very light, slightly glowing pink freckles all over her face and most of her upper body, at least from what you could see. Although, with all of the extremely outrageous things on her person, you are really drawn to only one thing.

Jazz: oh.

Jazz: my.

Jazz: god.

Jazz: i... LOVE your eyepatch!

Saylen: i-(o)h...

Saylen: uhh...

* * *

 _A/n: Yeah! Finally doing something with my characters. Not exactly sure as to how often this will update, but I will try to keep it somewhat regularly. Also, any kind of criticism is good._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Saylen Valdro

* * *

A young Troll stands in her respiteblock. Today, the third bilunar perigree of the first dim season, is this Troll's best friend's wriggling day. Also considered the day she, and the rest of her friends get to play the brand new game that they were all able to obtain special pre-release versions of. But we're getting a little ahead of ourselves here, aren't we? What is this young Trolls name?

== Enter name

Your name is Saylen Valdro. You are a fairly high Plum-blood that currently stands at the age of seven and a half Solar Sweeps. You are currently in your respiteblock which is covered in several of items of your surprisingly few interests. There are a few maps of the local and world oceans and waterways, along with lists of every type of aquatic Lusi and fish that can be found there. There is also your fancy fishing pole, tackle box, and a number of hooks tossed about rather dangerously. On your table is your very nice husktop, a group picture of you and your Lusus, and your favorite gun. Next to that is your bookshelf, which you have transformed into nothing more than a holder of every single one of your Doctor Who DVD's. You'll have to thank Jazz for those later. Humans suck, but damn do they have good T.V.

== Saylen: Contact Jazz

You go over to your computer and open up Trollian. Jazz always keeps her Pesterchum open, so you can simply contact her whenever you want with no problems.

timelessOceanographer [TO] has begun trolling trainingInformant [TI]

Seeing as this is the same conversation as prior, we shall simply skip to the end.

== Saylen: Go find out what the problem is

You get up from your desk and go downstairs. With your job, you should've known you can't relax for more than a few minutes. You descend the stairs for what feels like _forever_. In hindsight, an elevator would have been the best thing to put in here aside eight-frigtillion steps. Once you finally reach the bottom you loo at the sight you've grown oh so accustom to. Being in the Plum-blood caste, you are hatched into a line of work that provides the entire planet with power and electricity via the many riverways. In other words, you run a dam. And, Gog, does it suck total ass.

== Saylen: Take care of the problem

You look around and automatically see the situation. Every now and then a wild Lusus will find their way into here and get caught in the turbines. This time it's only two, but still a total pain in bulge. Thankfully, your blood caste holds a very rare form of psionics that allow you to control water at your will. You move your hand and the stream that normally goes through the turbines turns into a large overflow path you've made in sight of problems like this. When the floor is dry you turn off and walk down to the turbines. One of the Lusii was lucky enough to have already been dead, or else it would most likely have suffered down here. The other, not so much. The large Lusus had it's entire lower half ground up in the blades, it's blood absolutely thrown everywhere. It let's out a collosal screech of pain.

Saylen: im s(o)rry big guy.

Saylen: just c[(o)se y(o)ur eyes, it'[[ be (o)ver in a minute.

== Saylen: Put the thing out of it's misery

You equip your lucky Blunderbuss and aim. You fire a good three or four times in the head before the Cancerion Crabdad Lusus finally dies. It's a dirty job, but it's your job none the less. You try your hardest and move the stupid thing out of the turbine, bringing out a good amount of it's guts with it. After about seven sweeps doing this, you've gain a pretty decent amount of strength, so carrying this guy to the overflow river was no problem. You toss it and the other Lusus into the overflow and it passes into the river beyond your hive. At least Anglermum will have a good snack. You clean the turbines and return up to the platform. You return the water to its normal flow and power up the turbines again. You do hate this job horribly, but you've always enjoyed the hum these machines made.

== Saylen: Return to your room

You climb up the ungogly amount of stairs back to your respiteblock and look at around. Everything's the exact same. Everything on this dumb planet will stay the exact same. You look over at your desk and see that Jazz is contacting you once again. What could she want so soon? It's only been about ten, maybe fifteen, minutes.

== Saylen: Answer your friend

Seeing as this is the same conversation as prior, we shall simply skip to the end.

Jazz: oh.

Jazz: my.

Jazz: god.

Jazz: i... LOVE your eyepatch!

Saylen: i-(o)h...

Saylen: uhh...

Saylen: thank y(o)u jazz!

Jazz: no problem!

Jazz: so... you've been serious.

Jazz: this whole time.

Saylen: yep! a[ien.

Saylen: we[[, a[ien t(o) y(o)u at [east.

Saylen: t(o) me y(o)u're the a[ien.

Jazz: yeah...

Jazz: i'm sorry, i'm still trying to take this all in.

Jazz: aliens are real...

Saylen: we[[ yeah.

Saylen: what did y(o)u think humans were the (o)n[y c(o)gnative species in the universe?

Jazz: honestly?

Jazz: yes.

Jazz: ok, before we go any further, i just have to ask.

Saylen: yeah?

Jazz: do i look at the patch or the eye?

Saylen: just keep it up here and i d(o)n't care.

Jazz: uh, ok.

Jazz: so...

Jazz: what ARE you exactly?

Saylen: if y(o)u mean species i'm a tro[[.

Saylen: most inte[[igent creatures (o)n the p[anet a[ternia.

Saylen: if y(o)u're refering t(o) the fins i'm a seadwe[[er.

Jazz: seadweller? like, you live in the sea?

Saylen: n(o) i [ive in the v(o)lcan(o) regi(o)ns (o)f this p[anet.

Jazz: good to see sarcasm exists all across the universe.

Saylen: but yeah. i kinda [ive in the (o)cean.

Saylen: i'm actua[[y (o)n a river!

Jazz: that's cool.

Jazz: are Trolls... are you a peacful race?

Saylen: (o)(o)(o)h n(o) we are n(o)t.

Saylen: we regu[ar[y pi[age (o)ther p[anets and destr(o)y entire civi[itati(o)ns.

Saylen: we c(o)nstant[y have wars that we win every time.

Saylen: im n(o)t sure h(o)w many but i think weve c(o)mp[ete[y caused the gen(o)cide (o)f at [east a th(o)usand species by n(o)w.

Saylen: and we m(o)st [ike[y aren't g(o)ing t(o) st(o)p.

Jazz: ...

Jazz: huh...

Jazz: hey look, uh, Vlad's trying to contact me!

Jazz: i gotta go.

Jazz: sorry.

Saylen: (o)h. n(o) pr(o)b[em.

Saylen: te[[ v[ad i said fuck y(o)u.

Jazz: sure thing.

Jazz's screen then goes black. That was a little strange for her. Jazz is never the one to sign off first. It's usually you because of some situation with the dam. Did you say something be chance? Maybe going into detail about Troll's hostile and genocidal history wasn't the best thing you could of talked about. No, that can't be it. Humans are extrememly homicidal, genocidal, murdrous, and basically everything Trolls are. There's no way it could of been that. But, since Jazz has the game, that makes everyone. You should get talk to the others to get the thing started.

== Saylen: Contact your friends

You go onto your husktop and click into Trollian. You look at your list of friends and realize none of the ones you really care about are actually only two available are the twins... Well, you have to start somewhere. Let's get this over with.

timelessOceanographer [TO] has begun trolling intimedatingPrimary [IP] and hospitibleSecondary [HS]

TO: ridams.

IP: hiighbllood cuntt

TO: yttrim.

HS: Hey, Saylen!

TO: h(o)w g(o)es it?

IP: screw you

IP: whatt do you wantt

TO: i was just g(o)ing t(o) ask if y(o)u are ready f(o)r the game.

TO: y(o)u kn(o)w, the (o)ne we've been trying t(o) get ready f(o)r a[m(o)st tw(o) weeks n(o)w?

IP: we know whiich one

IP: att lleastt ii do butt tthatts justt because iim nott a dumbass

HS: Well, -ha-'s ra-her rude.

IP: shutt up

HS: Ok.

IP: hey can we do tthe camera tthing

IP: our hands hurtt

TO: long term d&d session again?

IP: whatt do you tthiink

TO: yeah, gimme a sec(o)nd.

You click the camera icon and the screen comes up with your friends. Well, friend and her conjoined, annoying other half. The twins wave when they see you each with their respective arms. The twin on the left, Ridams, still looks exactly like you remember. A colossal douchebag. He still has the pointless Sky-blue colored streak going down the middle of his hair, supposedly to show his respect to his mutant blood. Honestly, you think it's just to piss you off, considering you're the only one worth having dyed hair. At least you can pull it off. Three Plum streaks; one on each side of your head and one right in the center making a small patch. The asshole Troll has horns that are curved upwards what you can assume to be a foot and a half, sectioned off into three parts, separated by two, very thin connections about an inch in height. The female Troll, Yttrim, looked almost identical to her twin, minus the hair streak and asshole attitude. Have you mentioned Ridams is an asshole?

Yttrim: So, wha- abou- -he games?

Saylen: jazz fina[[y g(o)t her c(o)py, s(o) we can start s(o)(o)n!

Ridams: are we seriiouslly goiing tto pllay wiitth tthose-

Saylen: with th(o)se _what_ , ridams?

Ridams: humans

Ridams: are we seriiouslly goiing tto pllay a game witth some rettarded ass humans

Ridams: tthey are allll so fuckiing sttupiid

Yttrim: I don'- know, Vlad's pre-y ok.

Yttrim: And Jazz can be funny a- -imes.

Saylen: thank y(o)u, yttrim.

Saylen: jazz is funny.

Saylen: and nice.

Ridams: ii dontt care aboutt iif ttheyre funny or nott

Ridams: ttheyre obviiouslly lless iinttelliigentt and priimiittiive

Yttrim: No- -ha- less in-eligen- -han you...

Ridams: your llucky ii dontt have an arm on tthatt siide or iid hiitt you iin tthe back of tthe head.

Saylen: hey!

Saylen: we're getting (o)ff track here!

Yttrim: Yes, we're ready for -he game.

Ridams: have been for tthe pastt week

Saylen: g(o)(o)d.

Saylen: g(o)g, ta[king t(o) y(o)u tw(o) is imp(o)ssib[e.

Ridams: oh shutt up

Ridams: youre tthe hiighbllood you shoulld be ablle tto conttroll us

Saylen: and just [ike that my headaches back.

Saylen: thank y(o)u use[ess assh(o)[e.

Saylen: and yttrim.

Yttrim: No problem, Saylen.

Saylen: [ater.

Yttrim: Bye!

Ridams: screw you

timelessOceanographer [TO] has ceased trolling intimidatingPrimary [IP] and hospitbleSecondary [HS]

You wonder if you could kill Ridams but keep Yttrim alive... It'd be hard but not impossible.

* * *

 _A/n: Gog, my fingers are non-existent. I hate writing dialogue. ALSO, there will be things actually happening soon. Because I also hate overly long character introductions._


	3. Chapter 3: Ridams and Yttrim Grupka

_A/n: I just realized that this website does not let me use the greater/less than symbol. There is a point near the bottom that will be blanck, it is meant to have the Kismesis symbol._

* * *

A pair of young Trolls stand in their respiteblock. Both of the Trolls are equally the age of seven Solar Sweeps. Today, the thrid bilunar perigree of the firsst dim season, happens to be the wriggling day one of the humans, meaning that they can now play their early access versions of SBURB. But first, what are these Trolls names?

== Enter name...s

Your names are Ridams and Yttrim Grupka. You are both holders of the mutated Sky-blood color, although Ridams shows it more by dyeing his hair. Although, to be honest, he only does that to piss of Saylen. You both have a collection of interests, all of which are seen throughou- Okay, wait. Can we just, like, not do this? I mean, I'm just the Narrator, but this has kind of out lived it's welcome. It's _literally_ the exact same thing each time someone is introduced. You put in their name, you get a big list of their interests, and get a little bit of story telling with an abundance of dialogue. I'm sorry, but I don't want to read this anymore. Let's have them show their interests like they do in a normal book, and carry on. God, I don't get paid enough for this.

== Ridams and Yttrim: Arm yourselves

You walk over to your closet and open it. On the left is all of Ridams clothing which comprises of the same black shirt and blue sleeveless jacket, and on the right is Yttrims, which has all the exact same grey tank top. On each side you hung up your respective weapons; a large, spiked shield and an over sized sword. You both equip them and close the closet. Although, in Yttrim's opinion, Ridams should have stayed in there. Meanwhile, Ridams thought he should tear all of Yttrim's clothes to peices. Just because. Why the hell not?

== Ridams and Yttrim: Pick up you game copies

You step to your cluttered table and pick both copies of the game. The discs are then put into your D-20 Modus, and is set on side seventeen. This sets five of your sides full.

== Ridams and Yttrim: Examine contents

You open your D-20 Modus and examine the cards. Inside you have one book of Grimdark literature, four superheroes comic books, at least eighty chocolate-caramels with a sticky note with 'Yttrim' written on it, two portable video game devices, and the two copies of the game. See? Was that too hard for them to show their interests _not_ introduce via long-ass list? Patience, people. Goddamn!

== Ridams: Pointlessly insult Yttrim

Ridams: yttttriim

Yttrim: Yo?

Ridams: go fuck yoursellf

== Yttrim: Pretend to be oblivious to this

You simply roll you eyes at this comment, deciding it best not to engage this idiotic conversation. He does this shit all the time, so ignoring it has turned into second nature for you. He claims it's because he's the 'dominant' twin, even though you know it's for much more embarrassing reasons. Apparent he thinks being a total nookwad to everyone is a good way of compensation, even though it just makes it more obvious. He's not the smartest.

== Ridams and Yttrim: Check on your Lusus

Finally, someone decides to check on their guardian for non-selfish reasons. You both exit your respiteblock and enter the main hallway of your hive. You walk down the overly long hall and go into the Troll equivalent of the living room to see your Lusus nowhere to be found. You look out the window to see her returning back from a late hunting expedition. You move to the door and open it, allowing the large, white beast to enter with no problems. You Lusus drops the bleeding green corpse of the two-mouthed feline game onto the floor and looks behind itself and over at you two. It's lion-esque head let's out a quiet roar while it's goat head _baaa_ 's loudly at you. Your Chimerama turns around, swinging the snake-headed tail over you. All three faces appear to be happy very happy and pounce on the two of you. You both laugh at this and hug the large creature.

== Yttrim: Offer to play with Chimerama

You look on the ground and pick up a rather large bone. You raise it up and move it side-to-side, catching the attention of your Lusus.

Yttrim: You wan- i-? You wan- i-?

Chimerama: _ROOOOARRRR!_

Yttrim: Goooo FE-CH!

You throw the large bone down the hallway. Thank Gog you made it big enough for your Lusus to run down freely. Chimerama picks up the bone and turns back to you before charging. She stops in front of you and drops the bone, now covered in a sky-blue colored saliva. You're smart enough not to touch it, learning from many, many burns you've received from the acidic spit. You still have a few on your hands.

Yttrim: Good mama!

Yttrim: Wanna pe-?

The lion head lets out a purring sound before laying down and rolling over. You reach over and start scratching it's white underbelly. Your Lusus starts to purr louder and begins kicking it's hind legs into the air. After a few minutes, you stop petting and she calms down. You Lusus begins to snore, showing it has gotten tuckered out and was tired from her hunt.

== Ridams: Get tired of these affectionate shenanigans

You look at your annoying double and back at the Lusus. There is far too much, ugh, _love_ going on right now. A random tackle-hug is fine, but overly long petting is annoying. You do your job as the alpha Troll and start walking yourselves away. Yttrim takes a second to follow you, but soon matches your speed allow you to walk normally back to your room. Before you go into the hallway you stop and look at the wild game your Lusus has killed. You honestly feel a little bad for any poor Troll stuck with this Lusus as a guardian. A two-mouth cat. Whoever was raised by one of these must suck. They's probably be an annoying little shit. Woah... Strangely, just as you think this you feel a number of strangers suddenly dislike you a little. Almost as if you insulted their favorite character of something. Or maybe you're just going crazy. Yeah, it's that.

== Ridams and Yttrim: Return to your respiteblock

You both wander back into your lovely little room to find something to do. You say little because it is just that, extremely more so since your only table is covered with the board from your recent Dungeons and Dragons session, which you will finish. Defiantly. Eventually. Meh... you'll get around to it. You look over at the desk which holds both of your husktops. You consider the possibility that one would be easier to use, but you both agreed otherwise. You each have some... special contents you don't want each other to see. You both know what it is, but you have enough decency to wait until the other is asleep. Speaking of your husktops, someone's contacting the two of you. Oh, it's Vlad. What a pleasant surprise. He doesn't usually talk to the two of you. *Sigh* Seriously? We can't do one chapter without this? What do you mean transitions to the next character? We can't do that without this stupid chat bullshit? Ugh... fine.

== Ridams and Yttrim: Answer Vlad

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has begun pestering intimadatingPrimary [IP] and hospitbleSecondary [HS}

RR: Ridams! YttRim!

RR: How aRe my favoRite and least favoRite twins doing today?

IP: cutt tthe crap human

IP: whatt do you wantt

HS: Hello Vladamir!

RR: Well, it's good to see at least one of you is being kind today.

RR: I just wish to inquiRe when we shall be initiating the game?

IP: ttallk tto tthatt otther human or sayllen

IP: ttheyre tthe ones iin charge ii guess

HS: According -o Saylen, we should be s-ar-ing la-er -onigh-.

HS: Or day, considering wherever you are.

RR: It is cuRRently night, yes.

RR: You know I can only be active duRing the daRkest of times.

IP: yeah yeah sure

IP: we arentt wriggllers you know

IP: we know raiinbow driinkers dontt existt

HS: Bu- you forge-, Ridams. Vlad's no- a -roll.

RR: That is coRRect.

HS: Human.

RR: The Rules aRe diffeRent heRe.

RR: You know, you've both seen my bites.

He is right. Vlad has shown himself to you many time thanks to the cameras and viewports. A blond human wearing a lightning bolt necklace with two small, red bite marks on his neck, directly on top of the jugular.

IP: yttttriim shutt your diabettic ass up

HP: I can'- be diabe-ic, re-ard!

HS: If I was, you'd be -oo!

IP: ok shutt up eiitther

IP: butt yeah ii have seen you human

IP: ii was ttryiing tto fforgett aboutt iitt

IP: such a tterriiblle siightt mustt have giiven me some tteriible ttrauma ii was ttryiing tto forgett

RR: Haha, witty as always, aren't you Ridams?

RR: Always one to tRy and Ruin my fun with petty insults.

IP: wellll ii wasntt ttryiing anytthiing

IP: you are lliitteralllly appalllling tto me

RR: And you aRen't exactly a beauty king youRself, MisteR UndeRbite.

IP: you diidntt

RR: Oh, but I did!

RR: And much betteR than you pRobably could.

IP: ii swear iif we ever meett iim gonna smack tthe shiitt outt off you

HS: Haha!

HS: ️

IP: WHATT

IP: TTHE

IP: FUCK

RR: What?

RR: I've noticed you use that emote befoRe.

RR: What does it stand foR?

IP: NONE OF YOUR FUCKIING BUSIINESS TTHATTS WHATT

HS: Ridams and Vladamir, figh-ing under -he -ree,

HS: H-A-T-E-I-N-G!

HS: Hahahah!

IP: yttttriim ii swear tto gog ii wiillll fuckiing murder you

RR: Hmm, I appeaR to in the midst of something I do not undeRstand.

RR: And neitheR of you wish to answeR me.

RR: I'm afRaid I must away foR now.

RR: Ta-ta fRiends.

RR: Also, I will find out what that symbol stands foR.

HS: See ya, Vladamir!

IP: youd betttter nott figure outt whatt tthatt means

reanimatedReniassance [RR] has ceased pestering intimidatingPrimary [IP] and hospitibleSecondary [HS]

== Ridams: Confront your twin

You look over at Yttrim, filled with anger at the assumption she has made. She simply looks back and smiles like an idiot, laughing at you.

Ridams: whatt tthe hellll iis so funny

Yttrim: You go- so mad!

Ridams: and why shoulldntt ii have

Yttrim: Oh my Gog, your face is comple-ely sky!

Ridams: he betttter nott figure outt whatt tthatt means

Yttrim: Oh, hey, Ridams.

Yttrim: Ridams, look a- me.

Ridams: ugh whatt

Yttrim: H-A-T-E-I-N-G!

Ridams: fuck you

* * *

 _A/n: For those of you wondering, they are conjoined at the bottom of the rib cage downwards, with a third leg right in the middle._


	4. Chapter 4: Vlad Drago

A slightly more than young man stands in his bedroom, blah, blah, blah, 16th of March, play a game, blah, blah, blah, name.

== Enter name

Your name is Sir Vladamir de Fiero Drago IV. Or just Vlad. That's what everyone tends to call you. As your full name and title suggest, you are a knight, given the title by the Queen of England herself. You can't quite remember which one. It was during one of the plagues, you know that much. And yes, _one_ is the key word there. You've been lucky enough to survive multiple disasters throughout English history, even if just barely. It helps that Vampires are immune to the greater most majority of diseases and ailments. You say this, even though you have been fighting a continuous migraine for over three-hundred years. You can't get Ebola, yet you can suffer from a headache that would drive Charles Exavior to insanity. 'Tis truly a curse.

== Vlad: Arm yourself

You knew that this would be a command given to you soon, so already took the pleasure of having your trusty Ceremonial Sword equipped. You acquired this hardy weapon at your knighting ceremony, gifted from Queen... whatever. You still have the original engraving of your name on it. Sir Vladamir de Fiero III. You've had to add to something to it to put off any historical on lookers. Can't have people knowing you're multiple centuries years old. Especially during that one point in time. The renaissance was an amazing point for architecture and art, but people were a little too... religious, and had a vendetta against anything they seem to go against the church. Christians are idiots are weird.

== Vlad: Look outside

You pick yourself up and Vampiric float to your window. You love the sight of the Liverpool night lights. It's one of the best parts of being a supernatural creature of the night. You never liked the day to begin with. You look across the city and admire all the flashing and shining of life. As you do, you look down to see that a pair of these lights has just driven up the parkway. It would appear that your Uncle has returned home. That's very rare, considering he is in charge of a travelling freak show, promptly called the Cirque. This grand freak show is consisting of other vampires, a wolfman, a snake-boy, and, the main attraction of any freak show, a bearded lady. Of course this ladies beard is completely indestructible. You don't really care for most of them, especially this one guy that comes around the show, and even your own house, every now and then.

== Vlad: Go downstairs and greet your Uncle

You rush to the door and literally fly down the hall and the spiral staircase to meet your guardian. You stop in the middle of the foyer to greet him as he enters. He looks very tired, but happy to see you none the less. He walks up and hugs you, picking you up almost effortlessly.

Uncle: There you ar my boy!

Uncle: How have you been?

Vlad: I have been veRy good Uncle LaRten, thank you.

Vlad: And youRself?

Vlad: Is the show going well?

Uncle: Oh, dear, rather tiring I must say.

Uncle: Mister Tiny is being meddlesome again, he refused to hire us his Little People, and we're about to start a large trip into the States.

Vlad: The States? As in the USA?

Uncle: What other states are there?

Vlad: Anxiety.

Vlad: The thing I'm taking multiple medications foR.

Vlad: Asides that, theRe aRen't any.

Uncle: Exactly.

Uncle: We're starting in the state of Washington, and going through the rest of the continental United States.

Vlad: Wait, Washington?

Vlad: ARe you going to Seattle by chance?

Uncle: First city. Why?

Vlad: I have a fRiend in Seattle.

Vlad: Jazz Hattie.

Uncle: Ah, yes, Jazz.

Uncle: She doesn't know, does she?

Vlad: Even if she did, she would not believe me.

Vlad: She doesn't exactly have the most open of minds.

Vlad: She even Refuses to believe my other fRiends aRe aliens.

Uncle: The Trolls, right?

Uncle: You shouldn't be talking to them.

Uncle: They are extremely dangerous.

Vlad: I'm soRRy Uncle LaRten.

Vlad: But they aRe veRy nice.

Vlad: At least, most aRe.

Vlad: A few aRe Rather iRRitating.

Uncle: Hmm... None of them have used certain symbols talking to you, have they?

Vlad: Well, I have noticed one of them, her name is YttRim, Repeatedly use an emote that Resembled a spade in a deck of caRds.

Uncle: Mhmm, and when has this Yttrim used this?

Vlad: Mostly after I have an aRgument with heR bRother.

Vlad: Playful insults, is all it is.

Uncle: A spade?

Uncle: I think I remember something about a spade.

Uncle: Oh well, it doesn't matter, I suppose.

Uncle: Well, I'm sorry to leave after just arriving.

Uncle: But the Cirque is already to go.

Uncle: I only came by to tell you about my leaving.

Vlad: Oh...

Vlad: AlRight.

Vlad: I wish you have fun in the States.

Uncle: I'll try, my little Bat Pup.

Uncle: I should return by May sometime.

Vlad: Until then, Uncle.

Uncle: Goodbye, Vladamir.

You watch as your Uncle walks out the door again. You really despise the Cirque for making him be gone so long for so often, but it is a way for keeping the lights on. He leaves so you can have the things that you do.

== Vlad: Go get a snack

You float yourself over to the kitchen and open the fridge. You reach in and grab one of the several vials sitting in the rack. Type A positive blood. Your personal favorite. You pop off the cork top and down the red liquid. You prefer this stuff when it's warm, but certain promises you've made will not allow you to drink it via living creature. Not even animals. You just make do with this frozen plasma. You put the vial into your Rubiks Cube Modus. The item turns into an average, three square Rubiks Cube. Solve it, and you get the vial back.

== Vlad: Check out your items

You open your Modus and examine your cards. You currently have the empty blood vial, a ticket to the Musical 'Wicked', a large chessboard, a lighter, and a copy of the worst book series ever created. Which reminds you.

== Vlad: Burn the book

You put the book down in the sink and flick open your lighter. You have nothing against the author of these books, it's just they have completely ruined Vampires for everyone, everywhere. You set the book ablaze in the sink and watch as the image of the apple on the cover burns to nothing. Goodbye Twilight. You also take note to tell Jazz to never send any book like that to you again.

== Vlad: Dispose of the evidence

You wait for the book to turn into nothing but ash and turn on the faucet. Soon, all of the ash is sent down the drains. You then wash your hands because, even though ash will do nothing to you if you ingest it, keeping tidy is very important. As your Troll friend tends to say, "Cleanliness is next to Gogliness." Whatever Gog is. Maybe that's what they call their version of the Christian deity?

== Vlad: Return to your chambers

You float to the staircase and go up. You reach the top and are suddenly greeted by you pet bat, Alucard. Why, hello Alucard! The flying rodent simply squeaks at you and stays hovering next to you. You wave and fly past the bat, into your room. You go to your extremely, _extremely_ old computer to see if anyone happens to be on. And by old, you mean **old**. The thing's from the '70's, but with the help of one the Trolls, the Moss-blooded one named Mistuo, you were able to make the ol' hunk run a lot of programs it really shouldn't, including a social media site called Trollian. You sit down and sign in, and you see that the twins are online. Maybe they'd be agreeable today and answer you when the game will begin? Wouldn't hurt to ask.

== Vlad: Contact the twins

reanimatedReniassance [RR] has begu trolling intimidatingPrimary [IP] and hospitbleSecondary [HS]

Seeing as this is the same conversation as prior, let's just skip to the end, shall we?

You close the conversation with Yttrim and Ridams, and look to see that Jazz is now contacting you. She's sending messages very fast. Is she in trouble of sorts? That would explain the rapididity of the messaging.

trainingInformant [TI] has begun pestering reanimatedReniassance [RR]

TI: VLAD!

TI: VLAD ANSWER ME!

TI: I KINDA NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!

TI: PLEASE!

RR: Woah, woah, theRe Hattie.

RR: What's the pRoblem?

TI: the problem is that, apparently, our friends ARE aliens!

TI: and really, REALY freaking dangerous!

TI: like, killed a LOT of planets!

TI: and maybe us too if they ever get here!

RR: Oh, yes, I know.

RR: They'Re called TRolls, btw.

TI: you knew?

TI: and you never thought to tell me?

TI: what the actual fuck, Vlad?

RR: Hey, theRe is no need foR that.

RR: I assumed you weRe alReady awaRe.

RR: Was I wRong?

TI: really goddamn wrong.

TI: wait... if aliens exist...

RR: Oh yeah.

TI: does that mean what you've been saying...?

RR: Ooooh yeah.

RR: Big time.

TI: you're really a fucking vampire?!

RR: Yes, although VampiRe is meant to be capitalized.

TI: do you really think i care right now?!

TI: i just found out i'm literally the only normal human among my friends!

TI: i'm kinda freaking the hell out right now!

RR: Well, I apologize.

RR: But does this Really change anything?

TI: what?

TI: of course it does!

RR: How so?

TI: because i'm the only damn human here!

RR: Technically speaking, I can still be consideRed human.

RR: Simply and alteRed human.

RR: Why, I'd even an impRoved.

TI: improved?

TI: you fucking kill people!

RR: Oh, Really now?

RR: Just because I'm a VampiRe I have to kill people?

TI: well yeah!

TI: you drink blood!

TI: you have to kill things!

RR: OR, you know, I could have ReseRves donated to my family fRom the local hospital.

RR: That's always an option.

RR: Also the only option I do.

RR: Because, and I don't know if you knew this oR not, I'm a devoted pacifist.

TI: i

TI: what?

RR: I Refuse to cause haRm to anything.

RR: Obviously, unlike you.

TI: like me?

TI: what do you mean?

RR: Just assuming that I'm a dangeRous killeR just because of what I am.

RR: That huRts, you know.

RR: And I'm ceRtain ouR fRiends will be huRt to find out you aRe now scaRed of them.

RR: Just because of what they aRe.

RR: TRolls aRe not exactly pRoblamatic as you may think.

RR: SuRe, theiR leadeR may be a tad bit of a sea-bitch, but so was a good numbeR of the Queens.

RR: You can't simply judge the whole planet because of the cRazed leadeR.

TI: oh...

TI: i...

TI: i am sorry.

RR: SuRe, now that I figuRatively 'bRoke youR balls' with that, you'Re extRemely apolagetic.

RR: I bet if you figuRed out on youR own you wouldn't feel as bad.

RR: Get back to me once you actually feel soRRy.

RR: Ta-ta Jazz.

RR: Also, please neveR send me anotheR Twilight book eveR again.

RR: OR I will come to the States and set fiRe to all of youR Pokemon meRchandise

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

* * *

 _A/n: I do not like Twilight and really like the Darren Shaw Chronicles._


	5. Chapter 5: Confide

== Be Jazz

You are sitting at your desk, currently hit with a strange wave of guilt and a little self-hatred. Vlad just assaulted you with a large amount of truth. Why does your friends not being humans change anything? Why does Vlad being a Vampire have to make him violent? Sure, you were brought up in the church, where Vampires are kind of taboo, but that shouldn't alter your looks of him. Should it? Either way, you feel kinda bad now. Are you a bad person? Maybe you should talk to someone to get a second thought. But who is there? You can't talk to Vlad right now, that would just be kinda... awkward. Can't do the twins because Ridams is a prick and Yttrim never really talks. No on Saylen, she's probably busy. Mistuo? No, he won't answer. He's probably binge watching horror movies. Cavdit? Oh... God no. Why did you even think him? Fuck, that was stupid. There is always Firyut. She can never hate anyone. Or, if she can, she's never showed it before. Well, you guess it's something.

== Jazz: Pester Firyut

trainingInformant [TI] has begun pestering rodentalAstoundant [RA]

TI: hey, Firyut?

TI: you there?

RA: yea#

RA: #i jazz!

TI: hey, can i talk to you for a minute?

RA: sure!

RA: w#ats up?

TI: well

TI: would you consider me a bad person?

RA: bad person?

RA: w#y would you think t#at?

RA: i t#ink youre pretty good!

TI: well

TI: it's just

TI: i kinda had a weird conversation with Vlad

RA: #ow was it weird?

TI: i kinda just figured out that you guys were serious

TI: you know

TI: about being aliens

TI: and i kinda

RA: freaked out?

TI: yeah...

TI: Say went a little over board talking about what your people do.

RA: o# you mean t#e condesce?

TI: is that what she's called?

RA: yep!

RA: s#e is our fis# bitc# leader!

TI: wait.

TI: 'fish' bitch leader?

RA: yea# s#es a seadweller

RA: like saylen!

RA: except worse

TI: so... seadwellers are bad?

RA: w#at?

RA: no!

RA: i mean some are

RA: but not saylen!

RA: s#es t#e nicest seadweller youll ever meet!

RA: we go fis#in6 sometimes!

RA: me #er and mistuo #ave movie ni6#ts!

TI: ok, i get it.

RA: s#e even learned sign lan6ua6e after my accident!

RA: saylen is a true friend!

TI: accident?

TI: did something happen?

RA: yea#

RA: i was #elpin6 _t#at_ guy wit# a little invention

RA: and t#en KAPLOOIE!

RA: a #UGE explosion #appened!

RA: and now i cant #ear

RA: saylen beat t#e s#it out of #im

TI: oh my god.

TI: i'm so sorry to hear that.

RA: its fine

RA: it didnt really c#ange t#at muc#

RA: i just need to pay more attention w#en people sign to me

RA: but its soooo #ard!

TI: really?

TI: oh, that's right.

TI: you're... what is it now?

TI: ADD or ADHD?

RA: ad#d

TI: right.

TI: wait.

TI: holy crap we got way off track.

RA: #u#?

TI: i was talking about me being a terrible person for being scared of you guys!

TI: because i found out you guys are a dangerous species of homicidal aliens!

TI: and now i think i made Say think i don't like her!

RA: woa#

RA: w#at?

RA: w#at did you say?

TI: well, i didn't really _say_ anything.

TI: i kinda just...

TI: lied and left out of nowhere.

RA: really?

RA: t#ats it?

TI: that's it?

TI: of course that was it!

TI: i never do that!

RA: if t#ats really your problem w#y are 6oin6 crazy over it?

RA: just explain yourself to #er and

RA: boom

RA: everyt#in6s 6ood

RA: at least i t#ink it would

TI: do you really think it would be that easy?

RA: say will understand!

RA: believe me ive done worse

RA: and not#in6 really p#ases #er anyway

TI: hmm.

TI: maybe you're right.

RA: =*u*=

TI: i think i will talk to her.

TI: in a bit though.

TI: i gotta read this game info thingy.

RA: o# you got your game?

TI; yeah, today.

RA: yay!

RA: i 6otta tell everyone!

RA: bye!

rodentalAstoundant [RA] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

TI: uh...

TI: bye.

Maybe she's got a point. You just overreacted a little bit. Saylen just answered your question after all. It's not like she said that _every single_ Troll is like that. Why would you even think that? All the Trolls you know are actually really nice! Well, aside from Ridams and, ugh, _him_. You should probably explain yourself to Saylen, make sure there's nothing weird between you two.

== Jazz: Explain yourself to Saylen

As soon as you hover over Saylen's handle, you're Made aware of another Troll trying to contacting you. Oh, Mistuo! That's different of him. What could he want?

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has begun trolling trainingInformant [TI]

IWS: Hey.

TI: Mistuo!

TI: what a pleasant surprise!

TI: what's up?

IWS: Trying t-o- find Fir.

IWS: Y-o-v see her -o-n?

IWS: It's been a bit and I'm kinda starting t-o- w-o-rry.

TI: aww.

IWS: N-o-t like that, dingvs.

IWS: We're M-o-irails.

IWS: Kinda have t-o- care ab-o-vt each -o-ther.

IWS: N-o-t that I'm c-o-mplaining.

IWS: Yut's awes-o-me.

TI: oh

TI: well i was actually just talking to her.

TI: she said she was going to talk to everyone about the game.

IWS: -O-h, did y-o-v get y-o-vr c-o-py?

TI: yeah, i did!

IWS: Nice.

IWS: Well, if she's -o-k then.

IWS: Did she seem alright?

TI: yeah, she was fine from what all i could tell.

TI: just talked about me fucking up a little.

IWS: What happened?

TI: oh, i kinda panicked a little when i found out that you, Saylen, and basically all of you guys are aliens.

IWS: Y-o-v panicked -o-ver that?

TI: well,

TI: i think it was just the suddenness of it all.

TI: also in my life from watching movies i've learned to not trust aliens.

TI: and i kinda got scared of y'all.

TI: now i feel terrible.

IWS: Scared -o-f vs?

IWS: Jazz, the -o-nly -o-f vs t-o- be scared -o-f is Dit, if even him.

IWS: Als-o-, we are y-o-vr friends.

IWS: There is n-o- need t-o- fear any-o-ne.

TI: really?

TI: i mean,

TI: it's still strange.

IWS: Well, that makes sense, I svpp-o-se.

IWS: It's very different fr-o-m what y-o-v've kn-o-wn.

TI: exactly!

IWS: We are still the same Tr-o-lls y-o-v knew bef-o-re.

IWS: I said it bef-o-re and I'll say it again.

IWS: N-o-thing t-o- fear.

IWS: F-o-r -o-ne that finds fear in their friends,

IWS: Shall s-o-o-n find their friendships ends.

TI: yay!

TI: poetry!

IWS: Like that -o-ne?

IWS: I've been w-o-rking -o-n it f-o-r a bit.

IWS: Kinda waiting f-o-r the right time.

IWS: Alth-o-vgh, typing it -o-vt l-o-vd,

IWS: It kinda s-o-vnded stvpid.

IT: it was nice.

IT: got me to think a little.

IWS: Nice.

IT: well, i think i should go

IT: i dunno

IT: think a little more or something.

IWS: Hey, I actvally need t-o- ask -o-ne m-o-re thing.

TI: yes?

IWS: W-o-vld y-o-v prefer a Daymare -o-n Elm Street marath-o-n,

IWS: -O-r a Jass-o-n V-o-rhys marath-o-n?

TI: oh.

TI: uh...

TI: if those names are anything i think they are

TI: daymare on elm street.

IWS: Thanks. ^v^

IWS: Adi-o-s.

TI: laterz.

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

What is with aliens and wierd names? Jasson Vorhys? Daymare on Elm Street? That's just plain dumb right there.


	6. Chapter 6: Mistuo Fitera

Look, you get it at this point, right? Just skip to the name thing

== Enter name

Your name is Mistuo Fitera, a seven and three-tenths sweep old Moss-blood. You are currently watching one of your favorite horror movies at the moment, even though you should be preparing yourself for the game or whatever it is you and the others are doing. The amount you care about that is honestly near non-existent. You have way more important stuff to be doing, like watching Daymare on Elm Street for example. Although, an actually important thing you should be doing is taking care of your sick Lusus, but he refuses to take any assistance. It's quite obvious where you get your stubbornness from.

== Mistuo: Enjoy the movie

Nobody needs to give you a command to do that! You say that this you favorite, but in all honesty, you simple love all types of horror movies. You have a large shelf in the corner of your respiteblock completely filled to the brim with them. Some of your friends even say that you have a slight problem. It ain't no problem. A problem causes harm to people. This is quite possibly the leas harmful problem anyone could ever have. Well... aside from the fact you do go into _slightly_ over sized marathons with them, on occasion forgetting to eat. But your tough. You power through it. Gog, you're hungry. You ran out of popcorn, like, half an hour ago. And there's no more soda. None of those weird Earth candies Vlad sent you either. Where the hell did all your food go? You _literally_ just started watching this.

== Mistuo: Get something to eat

What? But your best part is coming up and pausing it will ruin the pacing! Ugh, fine. You pause the movie and stand up. Luckily you paused it at a fairly uneventful moment, making this act not that annoying. You walk out of your respiteblock and into the main room of your hive. You're not really a fan of calling it that, though. After watching all the Resident Evil movies in succession, you're a little less than excited to call your place of resident a hive. Next thing you know, BAM! Zombie city. Horror movies have made you a little bit nervous about stupid things like that. You shake your head of this thought and look around. Looks like Hexapedal-Foxpop isn't around. Probably sleeping somewhere, trying to rest it's sickness away. You don't understand why he refuses your help. Hell, you literally _make_ medice for Gog's sake! Oh well, some people, of Lusii, just don't want help. You go into your room you've designated for eating and open a cupboard. You take out a box cookies and a big bag of chips. This should keep you alive for a good... three more movies? Three more movies.

== Mistuo: Return to your room

You walk to your door and enter, only to be interrupted by the sound of your Trollian notifying you. Oh my Gog, you're never going to finish this movie! You got to your husktop to see who's contacting you. Oh, never mind. It's just your Moirail! You can make time for her. Especially since you were looking for her a little bit ago.

rodentAstoundant [RA] has begun trolling introvertedWordsmith [IWS]

RA: mistuo!

IWS: Firyvt!

RA: mistuoooooo!

IWS: Firyvvvvvvt!

RA: 6ame!

IWS: What n-o-w?

RA: are you ready for t#is 6ame!

RA: t#e one were playin6 wit# everyone!

IWS: -O-h, yeah.

IWS: Yeah, I gvess s-o-.

IWS: D-o-n't really care that mvch, th-o-vgh.

RA: w#at? =*o*=

RA: w#y not?

IWS: I d-o-n't kn-o-w, it l-o-o-ks stvpid.

IWS: I g-o-t m-o-vies to watch, girl.

IWS: M-o-vies t-o- watch and Lvsvs t-o- take care -o-f.

RA: aww but mituooooooo! =*n*=

IWS: Hey, d-o-n't yv-o- g-o- giving me that em-o-te.

IWS: St-o-p that.

RA: =*n*=

IWS: What did I jvst say?

RA: im sorry but i want to plaaaaay!

RA: and your t#e one i want to play wiiiiiit#!

RA: youre fun and everyone is so boooorin6!

IWS: -O-k, -o-k.

IWS: Geez.

IWS: Y-o-v and y-o-vr ADHD ass.

RA: dont act like you dont love it

RA: adds excitement to your life!

IWS: Excitement isn't exactly the w-o-rd I'd vse, bvt whatever.

IWS: And what d-o- y-o-v mean every-o-ne else is b-o-ring?

RA: i dont like t#em!

RA: t#e only ones t#at are fun is you yttrim and vlad and jazzy!

RA: and t#ey dont like me!

IWS: What d-o- mean?

IWS: Yttrim l-o-ves talking t-o- y-o-v!

IWS: Jazzmine likes y-o-v, I'm fairly certain.

IWS: And Vlad's pretty -o-k with all -o-f vs.

RA: almost all of us

IWS: I'm certain that Vlad thinks y-o-v're fine.

RA: i was talking about _#im_

IWS: -O-h.

IWS: Yeah, I d-o-n't think any-o-ne c-o-vld care ab-o-vt him.

RA: but anyways

RA: 6ame?

RA: ready?

RA: play?

RA: now?

IWS: Well, we've g-o-t t-o- wait f-o-r every-o-ne else first.

IWS: Didn't y-o-v even make a list -o-n wh-o-'s g-o-ing t-o- start in -o-rder?

IWS: Wait a sec-o-nd, I actvally wr-o-te it d-o-wn s-o-mewhere.

IWS: Yeah, the -o-rder's Jazz, Saylen, me, Yttrim and Ridams, y-o-v, Cavdit, and then Vladamir.

RA: o# yea#

RA: i for6ot about t#at

RA: #a#a

RA: =*u*=

IWS: G-o-o-d j-o-b there, Fir.

RA: im sorry i t#oug#t t#at was part of a dream

RA: like t#at weird yellow place

IWS: Pr-o-spit, I believed y-o-v called it -o-nce.

RA: t#ats it!

RA: i #ave weird dreams

RA: i didnt actually know t#at #appened for real

IWS: Yes, well, is that all?

IWS: Becavse my m-o-vies been -o-n pavse f-o-r a while n-o-w.

IWS: I'm afraid the pacing has died by n-o-w.

RA: o# my gog im sooooo sorry!

RA: just one more t#ing!

IWS: Yes?

RA: you #ave been eating rig#t?

RA: i know #ow you get w#en you go on one of your movie benders

IWS: Yes, yes, I have been eating.

IWS: Well...

IWS: Yeah, I've been eating.

IWS: I jvst gotten myself s-o-me f-o-o-d.

RA: food or snacks?

IWS: ...

IWS: Snacks.

RA: t#ats it

RA: im coming over

IWS: N-o-, there's need f-o-r that.

IWS: L-o-o-k, I'm perfectly fine.

IWS: Thank y-o-v f-o-r caring, bvt I'm g-o-o-d by myself.

RA: if you say so

RA: just

RA: keep yourself alive please

RA: youre t#e only one i can fis# wit#

IWS: There's always Saylen.

RA: aww

RA: s#e scares me w#en s#e fis#es

RA: s#e 6ets waaaaay to into it

RA: not to mention t#e driftwood incident

RA: t#at was scary

RA: =*n*'=

IWS: Whatever y-o-v say, Fir.

IWS: Is that it n-o-w?

RA: yea# i guess

RA: enjoy t#e rest of your movie!

IWS: Thanks, Fir.

IWS: -O-h, and Fir.

RA: yea#?

IWS: Stay g-o-o-d -o-ver there.

IWS: D-o-n't get y-o-vrself hvrt.

IWS: I will literally cvll myself if s-o-mething happens t-o- y-o-v.

RA: awww

RA: you care about me!

IWS: I'm y-o-vr M-o-irail, y-o-v egghead!

RA: lol

RA: ill be 6ood

IWS: Thank y-o-v.

rodentalAstoundant [RA] has ceased trolling introvertedWordsmith [IWS]

Firyut does have a point, thought. You do tend to nearly starve yourself sometimes. You lose track of time and don't pay attention to yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone does that every now and then. Right? Whatever. You're fine and you know it. You mean, like, sure your scarf falls of easy and your pants don't exactly fit right but... whatever. You're pretty sure you're fine.

== Mistuo: Return to your movie

You stand up and go to your couch again. You slip off your shoes and toss off your scarf and get yourself comfortable again. You unpause the movie and start right where you left it. Dumb girl. Never go anywhere dark by yourself. She gonna die. You were wrong when you said pausing the film would break the pacing.

* * *

 _A/n: Personal favorite character right here._


	7. Chapter 7: Firyut Gionta

Chapter 7: Firyut Gionta

== Enter name

Your name is Firyut Gionta, a Mutant Agate-blooded Troll of only five and half Solar Sweeps. You are currently impatiently pacing across your respiteblock waiting for the narrator to fini- wait, what? How do you... you know that... WHAT!? This isn't my job description, they aren't supposed to know I'm here! Are they? What. Only exception? Well, okay. I guess I can work around this. You are pacing in your respiteblock awaiting for a command that will be quite possibly extremely predictable

== Firyut: Arm yours-

Firyut: already done!

You pull out your previously equipped weapon, your overly large wooden stick. Wow, just take all the fun out of this, won't you? At least let me finish the command first. Can you do that?

Firyut: sorry!

Thank you. Geez, this is going to be fun...

== Firyut: Pick up your game copies

You go over to your desk and pick up your client copy of the SBURB games, knowing that's the first one you'll be using. Okay, can you at least not look at what you'll be needing? That kinda ruins the pacing a bit.

Firyut: #ey you can blame t#ose clouds for t#at one

Right. Prospit cloud visions... ANYWAYS, you pick up the game and put into your Maze Modus. You already know what the next command is so you already open your Modus to observe your cards. In the cards, you have the game copy, a mobile videogame device, a very old-looking fishing pole plus it's tackle box, and your pair of fake mouse whiskers. Speaking of...

== Firyut: Equip you mouse whiskers

You pull out the card and turn it over. On the back is a small maze that you have to solve, which you do. You've always had a knack for these kind of things. They're just easy. You think you could even go through an actual maze. After a few moments, you finish the maze and get your whiskers. Once you get these mousy like cosmetics, you do the one thing you can with them and put them right next to your nose. You only need one more thing to be truly rodentIal.

== Firyut: Find your tail

You look around your room to see that your lively mouse tail is nowhere to be found. Your Lusus must have taken it somewhere elsewhere in the hive. Oh, Mousemom. Gotta be fun and problematic, don't you?

Firyut: well of course s#e #as to be fun!

Firyut: dont you see #er troll?

Can you not do that? I don't think I get paid extra for talking to the characters. Or... do I?

Firyut: no you do not!

Than please, shut up.

Firyut: u6# youre borin6

Firyut: i dont like you

You really gonna do this?

Firyut: im not listenin6!

What? You're deaf, you can't even listen! Oh Gog, I have a headache now... Whatever. You go into the hallway of your overly large hive. You still think that all this room is really nice, but Mistuo and Saylen keep signing it's too much. Hey, you were a wriggler when you built this place. How were you suppose to know you wouldn't need all this space? You still like it. There's even an echo every now then... you think. You stop thinking and go down the hallway. Once you reach the literally colossal main hive room, you look around to see that your tail is laying on the couch. Huh, that's strange. Mousemom doesn't usually let you get it that easily...

Firyut: its a trap!

I said stop that! But, yes, usually when your Lusus does this it means she's wanting to be extra playful. Funny enough, as soon as you step near the tail, it jumps up to reveal Mousemom holding it in her little mouse mouth. How cute! But the cute ends when Mousemom jumps off the couch and runs down the hall with your tail.

== Firyut: Catch the tail!

Firyut: already on it!

STOP DOING THAT! Geez, I say it and ya don't listen, huh?

Firyut: w#at?

At least pretend to pay attention to me. You're ADHD, not rude.

Firyut: yea# yea# im 6oin6 to 6et my tail!

Right. You chase after the small, two-tailed Lusus down the giant hive. You get up behind Mousemom and jump at her. When you hit the ground where she was, you see that she has disappeared! Right into one of the dozens of holes she has dug through your hive. Dang it! Who knows where Mousemom will pop up? There's at least thirteen in the main room alone, and six in your respiteblock that you know of. Well, if we're going to move this along, you should probably head back to your room. Maybe Mousemom will walk in there.

== Firyut: Return to your respi-

Firyut: i #eard you t#e first time!

You... You can't hear anything. Don't say you heard me. That kinda confuses everyone. Whatever. You go back into the hallway and enter your respiteblock. All of the mouse holes inside appear to empty with no movement in them. You suppose that gives you a decent amount of time before having to do something. Speaking of soing something, it looks like Cavdit is trying to troll yo-

Firyut: nope

I-what?

Firyut: nope

Firyut: not dealin6 wit# #im

Firyut: not talking6 to t#at four eyed jerk

Firyut: especially not today

You... you kinda have to. It's how we do the stupid progressing thing.

Firyut: no

Firyut: 6et someone else to do t#at

Are... are you serious right now? Like, this isn't just about you, you know. I get paid for this, and if you don't cooperate, it doesn't look the best for me.

Firyut: sorry

Firyut: ill do anything else

I- I just... well... FUCK!

Firyut: lan6ua6e

It's just like... ugh! Well, since I obviously have no say in this, what would YOU rather do?

Firyut: im sleepy

Really? That's the best you could come up with?

Firyut: yea#

Holy shit... ALRIGHTY THEN.

== Firyut: Go take a nap or some shit, I don't care

Firyut: you dont #ave to be jerk about it

I really don't care right now. My blood pressure is not that good at the moment. Now, back to my job. *Ahem* You chose, for some unknown reason, to ignore that Troll contacting you. Instead, you head over to your large, agate colored reacooprecoon and climb into the slime. You close your eyes and slip into sleep.

== Firyut: Dream

Oh, wait. I get it. You wanted to be the one to introduce the moons, huh?

Dream!Firyut: *yawn* yep

Well then. Coulda just said that, but whatever. *Ahem* You wake up in your room in the top of the tower on Prospit, one of the twin moon's of Skaia. You climb out of your 'coon and look down to see you are in your yellow Prospit-jamas. You look around and see that everything else is in its normal yellow hue. An almost perfect match of your own respiteblock, mouse holes and everything. Sadly, it looks like your husktop also comes with you, and is still alerting you of Cavdit's attempts of contact.

Dream!Firyut: still nope

Dream!Firyut: too important of a day to talk to #im

What? What's today?

Dream!Firyut: look at t#e corner!

Huh? Oh, oh my. I did not realize it was today.

Dream!Firyut: #appy 413 by t#e way!

Thank you. Now can we get back to the situation at hand?

Dream!Firyut: of course!

Alright then. You continue to ignore the Sapphire-blood and instead go to your window, the only difference from your own hive. You look out and see the giant towers surrounding yours. Three are around you, plus your own making, four buildings with all your friends in them. Well, two friends and Cavdit. You truly despise the fact that you have to share a moon with that asshole. You look down and see that the Prospitian are all running about in a very excited and slightly panicked manor, several of them carrying spears and swords. Almost like they're getting ready for some kind of war. What are they up to?

== Firyut: Visit a Prospitian

You float out of your room and go down onto the ground. You look and see a shorter Prospitian carrying a few books walking towards you. You wave your hand to get the little guys attention and he faces his attention on you.

Dream!Firyut: #ey t#ere

Dream!Firyut: w#ats 6oin6 on #ere?

Dream!Firyut: w#ys everyone 6oin6 crazy?

Prospitian: Didn't you hear, great Witch?

Prospitian: The Reckoning hath tharted!

The small Prospitian speaks with a very obvious lisp, making trying to understand him fairl difficult. Thank Gog you somehow maintained your hearing on Prospit. It appears that physical afflictions don't carry from your real self to your dream self.

Dream!Firyut: reckonin6?

Dream!Firyut: w#ats t#at?

Prospitian: It'th the end of the univerthe ath we know it!

Prospitian: Everyone thinkth we're jutht going to war, but it'th utheleth!

Dream!Firyut: u### w#at now

Prospitian: The Reckoning.

Prospitian: It'th the war between uth and Derthe on Thkaia.

Prospitian: But it'th utheleth becauthe it will bring our end!

Dream!Firyut: #ow do you even know t#at?

Prospitian: I found a book in the library.

Prospitian: Uhh, here it ith!

The Prospitian pulls out one of the books in his pile and hands it to you. It's a big book, with a very torn up front page. There's nothing on it aside from a very faded... what is that, an R? You don't know, it's in pink and in cursive. You hate cursive. You open it up and start reading. Oh, ok, nope. This _whole_ thing is in cursive. You aren't going to be able to read this. Well, you could at least try. Uh... let's see. Something about a game. Meteors. What is that, apocalypse? Holy shit, is there any pictures in this thing? You can't focus on this pick garbage.

== Firyut: Find some pictures

You flip through the pages until your find something that isn't just squiggly lines. After about halfway through you find a page that doesn't have any words on it. The only thing on it was a bunch of doodles of terrible squares and... what the heck are those? Are... are those suppose to be bones or something? Wait a second... they actually look a little like- oh. OH. Okay then, and you close the book. You've seen enough for one dream sequence.

Dream!Firyut: sooo u#

Dream!Firyut: w#at was t#at suppose to be

Prospitian: It tellth of the world ending from the Game!

Prospitian: The Game brought on by... wait.

Dream!Firyut: wait w#at?

Dream!Firyut: o# i 6et it

Prospitian: It'th you!

Prospitian: It'th you and all the other Heroth up in the towerth!

Prospitian: The-the Witch, and the Thylpe, even the damn Page!

Prospitian: You kill uth all!

Dream!Firyut: #u# #ow?

Dream!Firyut: no!

Dream!Firyut: we wouldnt do t#at!

Prospitian: Don't try to lie, Witch!

The Prospitian grabs the book out of your hands and walks away, still screaming about you killing them all. Weird. Weird little guy.

== Firyut: Return to your room

Tired of all the craziness that is insane conspiracy theorists, you float back up to the top of the tower. Inside, you see that Cavdit has finally stopped trying to contact you. About time, too. Instead, you see that Saylen is contacting you now. You think that it would be better to talk to her in the regular world instead of Prospit. You float back into your dream!coon and submerge yourself. You close your eyes and wake up once more in your respiteblock. You look out to see that on your husktop was you mouse tail! Thanks Mousemom!


	8. Chapter 8: Talk, Ignore, and Message

== Firyut: Get your tail

You hop out of your recouprecoon, still covered in the slime, and walk over to your desk. While you were out, Mousemom brought your tail to you. How nice of her! You pick up your tail and attach it to the small hook on your jeans. Now you feel like a rodent! All mousy and stuff. You're so cute!

Firyut: yea# ok i get it

Firyut: mice are cute

Firyut: arent we suppose to be doin6 somethin6 #ere?

Oh God, I forgot about this. One week and I'm off my game... Ok, you're right. Let me get on that then.

Firyut: t#anks!

== Firyut: Respond to Saylen

You open your husktop top Trollian and answer the seadweller, aside from the Sapphire-blood that's been trying to get to you both in real life and in your dream. You know, the Sapphire-blood that can get us out of this introduction phase and into the action. The one that's not as bad as everyone lets on to be. The one super easy to talk to for a good, maybe, five minutes. Yeah, you ignore him and respond to Saylen.

timelessOceanographer [TO] has begun trolling rodentialAstoundant [RA]

TO: heeey, firyut!

RA: #eya saylen!

RA: w#ats up 6irl?

TO: just checking in t(o) see if y(o)ur a[right.

RA: #u#?

RA: yea# im fine

RA: w#y?

TO: (o)[d cav-dick was [(o)(o)king f(o)r ya.

TO: s(o)mething ab(o)ut the game.

TO: refused t(o) ta[k t(o) me ab(o)ut it.

RA: o# my gog im so sorry!

RA: i didnt want #im to talk to any of yall!

RA: i was takin6 a nap

TO: a nap?

TO: right n(o)w, seri(o)us[y?

RA: yea#

RA: problem?

TO: were ab(o)ut t(o) p[ay the BIGGEST game (o)f the entirety (o)f ever!

RA: right

TO: and we're a[[ extreme[y exited!

RA: right

TO: h(o)w c(o)u[d y(o)u p(o)ssib[y s[eep?

RA: i dunno

RA: but were 6onna destroy everyt#in6 w#en we do

RA: so mi6ht as well nap now

TO: say what n(o)w?

RA: some guy in my dream

RA: told me playin6 t#is is 6onna destroy t#e universe

RA: or somet#in6 like t#at

TO: ...

TO: (o)k, first thing t(o)m(o)rr(o)w i'm getting mitsu(o) t(o) make y(o)u s(o)me kind (o)f medicati(o)n.

RA: aww

RA: =*n*=

TO: we[[ that's what happens when y(o)u te[[ pe(o)p[e stuff [ike this.

RA: but im serious!

RA: #e gave me a book t#at said our 6ame will kill everyt#in6

TO: aaand d(o) y(o)u have this b(o)(o)k n(o)w?

RA: no...

RA: it was a dream book

TO: dream b(o)(o)k?

RA: dream book

TO: s(o)unds [ike a bad r(o)mc(o)m m(o)vie.

RA: eww!

RA: romcoms are so stupid!

TO: i kn(o)w, right?

RA: i mean w#o woud even waste t#eir time wit# t#ose?

TO: i dunn(o)...

TO: sh(o)rt, [(o)ne[y pe(o)p[e with anger pr(o)b[ems.

RA: probably lowblooded too

TO: [(o)(o)k, i d(o)n't think we can destr(o)y the universe with a game.

TO: i d(o)n't even think we c(o)u[d destr(o)y it with(o)ut the game.

TO: we are very bad at things [ike this.

TO: [itera[[y (o)n[y tw(o) (o)f us are any actua[ danger t(o) anything.

TO: and cavdit's (o)n[y rea[[y a pr(o)b[em when he's

TO: y'kn(o)w.

RA: well

RA: not true

RA: i can 6o crazy sometimes

TO: y(o)ur a[ways crazy, firyut.

RA: i know it

RA: but im serious #ere!

TO: ugh...

TO: (o)k, h(o)w ab(o)ut this.

TO: we p[ay

TO: and if we destr(o)y the universe, i have t(o)

TO: uh...

RA: KISS CAVDIT!

TO: fuck.

TO: n(o).

TO: i wi[[ d(o) a [(o)t (o)f things, but i wi[[ never get my [ips anywhere near that b[ue-b[(o)(o)ded jackass.

RA: aww

RA: t#at would #ve been so funny!

TO: n(o).

TO: it w(o)u[d n(o)t.

TO: i wou[d [itera[[y bite his face (o)ff.

RA: ok

RA: #ow about you...

RA: a## i know!

TO: d(o)es it sti[[ have s(o)mething t(o) d(o) with kissing s(o)me(o)ne?

RA: ...

RA: i swear youll actually like it

TO: d(o)ubt it.

RA: you 6otta kiss jazz!

TO: ...

TO: we aren't even (o)n the same p[anet.

TO: but fine.

TO: if the universe is destr(o)yed by us

TO: i wi[[ kiss Jazz.

TO: wait...

TO: WHY D(O) Y(O)U THINK I W(O)U[D [IKE THAT?

RA: oops

RA: 6otta 6o!

TO: FIRYUT!

rodetialAstoundant [RA] has ceased trolling timelessOceanographer [TO]

Good thing you've got out of there when you did. That was not going to end the best for you.

Firyut: dan6 ri6ht!

Firyut: shoulda seen t#e first time i said t#at

I will make you talk to Cavdit. Don't think I won't. You can try all you want, but it needs to happen and you're annoying me.

Firyut: ok point taken

Good, now, if you don't mind, I have a script to follow and you're making me lose my place.

Firyut: sorry

It's alright. Now, *Ahem* You look over and see that, even though Cavdit stopped contacting you, he did leave you a few messages. Maybe you should read them?

Firyut: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu6h!

Firyut: ok fine

Oh my God, finally, thank you.

== Firyut: Read messages

quadriclopsRapper [QR] began pestering rodentialAstoundant [RA]

QR: Hey, Gio/\/ta, baby!

QR: Look, I k/\/o\/\/ you do/\/'t care to talk to /\/\e -/\/ot sure \/\/hy- but I wa/\/t to k/\/ow about this ga/\/\e, girl.

QR: You a/\/d your drea/\/\ talk see/\/\ to k/\/o\/\/ a bit about it.

QR: Hit /\/\e up so \/\/w ca/\/ talk ga/\/\i/\/g later.

QR: You k/\/o\/\/ you \/\/a/\/t to~

QR: Chao.

quadriclopRapper [QR] has ceased trolling rodentialAstoundant [RA]

Ok, wow, that is a little worse than I thought. You don't really care for the guy in total, but you really can't stand when he's demanding stupid shit like this. And why would he bring up your dreams? Sure, you've brought them up a few times, but does he know they involve the game? The heck does that four-eyed jerk know? Speaking of the dreams, that new one puts some things in perspec- ok, now you actually changed my script? What the hell, this was another fifteen minute rant about Cavdit, like, five seconds ago. What did you do?

Firyut: i dunno

Firyut: i didnt want to talk about him so i thought about a different direction for this to 6o

O...k then, I guess I have to do this new thing. Speaking of dreams, the newest one puts some things in perspective. Your previous dreams had a few random parts that seemed very prolific, and with this one there is a kinda beginning part maybe? It's a good thing that you wrote and draw down your dreams since you've started them.

== Firyut: Examine your previous dreams

You go over to your desk and open the drawer to your writings. Well, not really writings, but more like crudely drawn pictures. Basically, if the game part goes first, that means that you guys play the game, destroy the universe, go to some weird planets around a bigger weirder planet, some of you die on towers or some shit, and then fight a king of some sorts. Wow, how you managed to get that much information into bunch of drawings is beyond me, but very skillful.

Firyut: t#ank you

Firyut: im really 6ood w#en i want to be

Well, at least you're positive about you skills. That's a very nice characteristic to have. Wait, I said to stop that! Eh, whatever. You put these in order and make a fairly small outline of what your small group of friends and Cavdit are going to do. You also consider who's going to die first.

Firyut: i #ope its cavdit

That's actually kinda dark.

Firyut: i will not say it a6ain but i will also not apolo6ize

You know, these introductions have gone on for a while now. We really need to get to Cavdit to get into the actual part people care about, and you're the one he's been trying to contact. Just do it now, you know you have to do it later.

Firyut: nope!

Of course not. Christ, fine. Can you at least tell me who to switch to so we _can_ introduce him?

Firyut: nope!

Firyut: i mean yea#!

Firyut: go back to vlad!

Oh, he's been a while. Alright, thank you.

FIryut: see ya narrator 6uy!


	9. Chapter 9: Tell-Tale Annoyance

== Be Vlad

You are now once again the Vampire lad, Vlad. In the minor absence you have done fairly little, and don't really care about doing much until the game starts. You never do much to be honest. Can't go out during the day, and nothing happens around here at night that you haven't done already. The London Eye is still great, but no matter the time of day, it always has a line longer than Johnny Depp's normal Thursday. Ah, starting off with a crack joke. I believe we can now say we have met perfection, agreed?... Oh right, this one can't respond to me. Ah, blissful silence.

= Vlad: Enjoy the silence and aloneness

You float over to your bookcase and look at your accumulated collection. You look at you 18th-century shelf and pick a personal favorite. The Tell-Tale Heart, signed by the great Edgar Allen Poe himself. It is an amazing story, truly going deep into the mind of a possibly crazed man. The perfect calculation of a murder put into the perspective of the killer whom pleads that he did not do it to the reader. No motive is given, and, yet, seems as though it was far too grand to simply be out of sudden spite. Truly, the best creation of mid-1800's. Well, almost the best. It never explains what happens to the man at the end. Or if the murderer was even a man. Could have been a very anxiety filled eight-hundred-year-old.

You pick up the old book and float back to your bed-coffin. You lay into it and open to your section you left off on last time. Before you begin your read you recall there is one other in the house that enjoys the works of Edgar Allen Poe. You sit up and whistle, grabbing the attention of Alucard and bringing him to you.

Vlad: AlucaRd, would you caRe foR a Read?

The bat gives you an affirmative squeak and lands on your coffins side. He's always had an admiration for classic literature.

== Vlad: Read to your bat

You start at the paragraph you paused upon not long ago and begin.

Vlad: _If still you think me mad, you will think so no longeR when I descRibe the wise pRecautions I took foR the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I woRked hastily, but in silence. FiRst of all I dismembeRed the coRpse. I cut off the head and the aRms and the legs._

Vlad: _I then took up thRee planks fRom the flooRing of the chambeR, and the deposited all between the scantlings. I then Replaced the boaRds so cleveRly, so cunningly, that no human eye, not even his, could have detected anyth-_

Before you could finish the stanza, you hear the computer ping. Of course someone would contact you while trying to enjoy yourself.

Vlad: One moment please, AucaRd.

You float up and to your desk to see who was trying to get to you. Oh, of course it's this guy. Seems banning him seven times didn't get the point across. Against you're better judgement, you answer him, bringing up a facetime of the annoying Troll.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has began facetiming reanimatedRenaissance [RR]

Cavdit: Hello, /\/\aster \/lad!

Vlad: TheRe aRe a numbeR of Reasons I should leave Right now.

Vlad: You get thiRty seconds to pRove me wRong.

The Troll does a cheeky, kind of asshole-ish, smirk, showing off a pair of extremely jagged, uncured fangs. Along with those, the Sapphire-blood has an annoying haircut, having only half of it actually grown and draped all the way down to his shoulder. His left-most horn is pointed straight up and curved down, almost like an umbrella handle. The right horn, on the other hand, points out before curving back in, followed by going back out; like a curvy lightning bolt. The Troll also has one feature you find strange, even for the homicidal species. Let's just say, there's a reason Firyut called him four-eyed and Cavdit does not wear glasses. He's a quadriclops. Four-eyed. Get it? It's funny! Shut up, I'm not here to entertain you...

Cavdit: Look, I o/\/ly \/\/a/\/t to talk about the ga/\/\e is all.

Cavdit: Although, I \/\/ould prefer Firyut, but \/\/hate\/er.

Cavdit: You \/\/ill do I suppose.

Vlad: So, you'Re stRaight up saying, to my face, I'm second best?

Cavdit: I/\/ si/\/\plest ter/\/\s, yeah.

Vlad: ...

Vlad: I'm going to leave now.

Vlad: Do not contact me again.

Cavdit: Oh, co/\/\e /\/ow, \/ladi/\/\ir.

Cavdit: Perhaps I should be /\/\ore specific.

Cavdit: The drea/\/\s.

Cavdit: I k/\/o\/\/ Gio/\/ta has some of the yellow pla/\/et.

Vlad: No.

Vlad: We will not bRing-

Cavdit: Derse.

Cavdit: Ho\/\/ does it play i/\/to the \/\/hole thing?

Vlad: Plides, no.

Cavdit: It's purple, /\/o?

Cavdit: Pure black i/\/habita/\/ts?

Cavdit: \/\/hat else is there?

Vlad: I sleep, and I go theRe.

Vlad: Something whispeRs to me and tells me the futuRe.

Vlad: That's all I caRe to RemembeR.

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/, /\/o\/\/, Drago, I k/\/o\/\/ there's /\/\ore to it.

Cavdit: There has to be /\/\ore.

Vlad: How do you even know about DeRse, Plides?

Vlad: The whispeRing told me only one of each moon can go to them befoRe the game.

Cavdit: I ha\/e /\/\y \/\/ays, baby.

Cavdit: I ha\/e.

Cavdit: /\/\y \/\/ays.

Vlad: I'm going to leave now.

Vlad: I am not going into this.

Cavdit: You're just scared about it, are/\/'t you?

Vlad: ...

Vlad: It's a stRange sensation, on DeRse.

Vlad: I'm not scaRed of much, but theRe...

Vlad: TheRe's a poweR that I can't put my findeR on.

Vad: Something that even fills a VampiRe with teRRoR.

Vlad: OR hoRRoR...

Vlad: Something simply teRRible.

Cavdit: Horrorterrors?

Vlad: PaRdon?

Cavdit: That's \/\/hat you're talki/\/g about.

Cavdit: Eldrich God's that ha\/e u/\/ri\/\aled stre/\/gth.

Cavdit: They hold po\/\/er to deci/\/\ate e/\/tire di/\/\e/\/sio/\/s \/\/ith /\/othi/\/g but their \/oice...

Cavdit: A species that casts fear i/\/to the soul of Sata/\/ hi/\/\self...

Vlad: Demons that fRighten the most feaRed monsters in existence...

Cavdit: Exactly.

Cavdit: If that's \/\/hat's o/\/ that /\/\oo/\/ of yours.

Cavdit: I'd /\/e\/er sleep agai/\/.

Vlad: ...

Vlad: Well, damn, now I'm sufficiently scaRed.

Cavdit: Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

Cavdit: Care for so/\/\e /\/\usic to lighte/\/ your spirits?

Vlad: Depends.

Vlad: Will you be the one singing?

Cavdit: \/\/hy, of course.

Vlad: No thank you then.

Cavdit: Oh, co/\/\e o/\/!

Cavdit: A/\/ artist /\/eeds his audie/\/ce.

Vlad: How about you bite me instead.

Cavdit: Isn't that your schtick?

Vlad: Ok, and I'm gone.

Cavdit: Pussy-ass bitch, liste/\/ to /\/\e si/\/g.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has ceased facetiming quadriclopsRapper [QR]

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has blocked quadriclopsRapper [QR]

Four-eyed, annoying prick. Anyways, weren't you in the middle of something? Ah, yes. That's right. The Tell-Tale Heart.

== Vlad: Return to your book

You float back over to your coffin-bed and pick up your book. You lay down and begin reading once again... At least you would if you have not been getting another notification! Of course, because God forbid you enjoy your un-life!

== Vlad: Check the new notification

You, once again, fly to your desk and get on the computer. Look's like it's... who it that? You've never seen this name before. Could be a scammer. You've had a few run-ins with those on here. Then again, you did create scams, so it's not that strange. You click on the name and are brought to the chat box.

temporalTraveler [TT] has began trolling reanimaredRenaissance [RR]

TT: (o)k, v[ad, i'm g(o)ing t(o) ask y(o)u n(o)t t(o) freak (o)ut.

RR: Saylen?

RR: Is that you?

TT: we[[...

TT: it's hard t(o) exp[ain.

RR: What's with the new name?

TT: it's n(o)t a new name, dipshit.

TT: i needed t(o) take this name because y(o)ur say[en a[ready has this name here.

RR: PaRdon me?

RR: MY Saylen?

RR: Who aRe you?

TT: i am say[en!

TT: just...

TT: n(o)t this time[ines say[en.

RR: PaRdon me, take two?

TT: ah, thank g(o)g, my camera's w(o)rking!

TT: [(o)(o)k, just g(o) int(o) the facetime.

TT: y(o)u'[[ see.

RR: Al...Right then.

You move the cursor to the camera icon under the new name. You think about the absurdness of this and about how horible this could be if it is a scam, but click anyways. When you do, you see something very odd. It's Saylen, just like she said, but... different. She looked older than last time, having a few lines under her eye. They were actually more stress lines than age, but it was still weird. She was wearing some kind of red hood covering her hair. Her horns didn't have the bracelets around them like normal, but that wasn't the worst part about it. One of her horns was snapped in half.

Vlad: H-holy shit...

Future!Saylen: yeah.

Future!Saylen: it hurts a [(o)t w(o)rse than it [(o)(o)ks.

Vlad: What the hell happened to you?

Future!Saylen: it's n(o)t what happened t(o) me.

Future!Saylen: it's ab(o)ut when it'[[ happen t(o) y(o)ur say[en.

Vlad: And why do you keep saying that?

Vlad: If you aRen't ouR Saylen, who aRe you?

Future!Saylen: this is g(o)ing t(o) s(o)und crazy.

Vlad: TRy me.

Future!Saylen: i'm...

Future!Saylen: fr(o)m an a[ternate time[ines future.

Future!Saylen: and i can te[[ y(o)u right n(o)w.

Future!Saylen: shit is ab(o)ut t(o) hit the fan.

Future!Saylen: hard.

Vlad: How haRd exactly?

Future!Saylen: as hard as diam(o)nds in y(o)ur [and.

Vlad: My what now?

Future!Saylen: (o)(o)ps!

Future!Saylen: sp(o)i[ers!

Vlad: Well, what isn't spoileRs?

Future!Saylen: (o)k, sit back

Future!Saylen: this is g(o)nna take a whi[e


	10. Chapter 10: Cavdit Plides

== Enter Name

You are now the Sapphire-blooded Troll, Cavdit Plides. An exactly eight Sweeps old Troll living in a huge abandoned temple on Alternia. Like, seriously, it's just some big ass temple thing that was already here that you just made renovations to. Pretty nice renovations if you do say so yourself. Actual rooms instead of the one colossal entrance place with the pad thing, some nice windows, and, of course, a recording room. Always need a recording room. Although, getting these things where your hive is is near impossible. There ain't jack shit for miles. Luckily, this temple came pre-equiped with quite a useful contraption. It is what gives you all your stuff after all.

== Cavdit: Show what gives you all of your stuff

You walk out of your respiteblock and go into what the humans would call a living room. In the middle of the room like always is the giant pad thing that always has some kind of timer on the front of it. You're not sure how, but this thing will throw out some random things every time this timer reaches zero. Usually it's just some pointless building materials, random junk, food, or electronics. A lot of electronics. You don't know how it works, all you know is that once the time runs out, a giant flower thing shows up and opens, dropping the contents onto the pad. No matter how much you've studied it, there's nothing you can learn. It's made from some type of alien creation beyond even your own genius mind. Speaking of the timer, it's almost out again. Always at the same time this happens, at a quarter to midnight.

== Cavdit: See what falls out

You watch as the giant, pink lotus flower begin to bloom over the white pad. Once it finally opens, you pick up the item that was dropped. Like most times, it was useless junk. A small hand mirror. It's not all that bad of a mirror to be honest, and it certainly doesn't show anything wrong it's relfective properties. Damn, that's a nice image in there. Nicely styled hair, unstraightened yet sexy fangs, and all four perfect eyes. On second thought, you'll keep this thing. It's pretty fancy. You decide to capturelouge the mirror and it is put into your Circuit Modus. It is given a fairly easy electric circuit, quick to get if you need it. What else do have in here?

== Cavdit: Check your items

You open your Modus and look over everything you have. You've got your ipod and headphones, the mirror you just got, about ten batteries(always gotta have extra batteries), your game copy, and two pairs of glasses, which you really should wear, but you don't because they are retarded as hell. Name one decent rapper that has ever worn glasses. Seriously, we'll wait... Yeah, it's impossible. You will not wear them because no rapper wears them, and, by all obvious signs, if you wear them you will never be a good rapper. Which would be bad considering you're pretty Gogdamn amazing at it.

== Cavdit: Check the timer

Hmm? That's strange. Usually after it opens the timer sets to twenty-four hours, but now it's only on about an hour and a half. This only happened... once? Twice maybe. Strangely enough, that was when you got your client and server copies of the game. Once again, this temple gives you connections to the game. The writing on the walls is a good way to get the information too, but there's very little and you've read all of them.

== Cavdit: Read the wall writing again

For the quite possible thousandth time, you go over to the wall with the most writing on it. The walls don't give an obvious answer to anything, more strange guidelines and images really. Starting from the far left, there is a picture of two planets, Alternia and Earth are what's written under them. There are a lot of meteor and asteroid looking things aimed right at both of them. Next to that is a picture of the SBURB symbol on your game cases with Alternia and Earth destroyed on each side of it. The one next to that is an even bigger planet, with the name Skaia under it, with seven planets around it. The planets are named, in order, LoAaL, LoFaF, LoMaV, LoNaTaSaF, LoMaH, LoFaL, and LoDaS. Those, in your opinion, are some pretty retarded ass names. They also have some weird coloring to them too; purple with green spots, completely green, black with red streams. The forth one is weird as it's split in half, one side being black with really bright colors just everywhere, and the other side being a gross grey-brown. The next normal one is kinda greyish, the next one is light-blue with four-leafed clover shaped green places, and the last is white and grey.

Around those planets are two smaller ones, more like moons honestly, one purple and one yellow. They are called Prospit and Derse, and are the only ones with some description to them. The description says: "The place of dreams for all players. One of Derse and one of Prospit shall travel to before the Reckoning comes." Like you told Vlad, you have your ways of knowing. And the final picture on the wall is that of a colossal water-jumpbeast, similar to the one on your temple-hive, with the words 'Genesis Frog' underneath it. You have no idea what the hell a frog is or why this is important, but you will admit, it is an interesting looking creature that you wouldn't mind seeing one day.

== Cavdit: Examine the other wall writings

You leave this wall and go across the room to the other. This one is significantly smaller as it only has eight symbols on it. The first one is a kind or teal circle with three curved leg things coming out of the top and both sides. The second is a bright red gear, followed by two bright blue sideways squiggly lines. The fourth and fifth are right on top of each other, the top looking like a bleeding cut and the bottom is a... you don't actually know how to describe this one. It's like a purple semicircle with two curved arms on each side and two next to it. The next is a black spike ball with four circles inside of it, almost like a skull. Next is a spiral made of six white curves. So any freaking curves, what the hell. The last one on there is a white pair of... angel wings? That's the best you could describe it as. There's no writing so you don't know what this signifies, but part of you can tell it's important. Especially the spiral one. That one calls out to you for some reason.

Moving away from this, there isn't much more to look at, wall writing wise. Just some basic coding, although you don't know what system would use it. You've already tried putting it into a normal computer program, some advance robotic coding, and even tried making a new system just for it, but it wouldn't take, no matter what. Almost like it was for one thing, and one thing only no one could replicate. It's truly very interesting. Wait a second...

== Cavdit: Try to think of something different

You pull yourself out of this thought. That is truly your one downfall, you like these computer and robotic and nerdy things too much. You're too much of a nerd inside for your own rapping good! Pushing your hidden liking of the electronic world, you try to find something better to do. Aside from talk with everyone and someimes hang with your Lusus, there ain't jackshit to do around here. You guess you can try to see if any new episodes of that Earth show Rick and Morty, which will be called that considering it is a universal constant, is online yet. You've waited the Troll equivalent of a year and a half for season three, and you will not wait a moment more! Unless you have to of course, in which case you'll just toss on an episode of Avatar. Nothing wrong with Avatar.

== Cavdit: Check Troll-Hulu

You open your Modus and pick the one with your husktop on it. Like usual with your Modus, you have to make an electrical circuit connecting from the power source to the light on the other side of the card. You are given three different cords, one red, one blue, and one green, and you have to use a specific number of each color to turn it on. This one, you need two blue, one green, and two reds. Like nothing, you put the circuit together and are given the husktop.

You sit down against the wall and open it up. Like usual, you don't know why, no one is trying to contact you. Sad, you were hoping to give your new mixtape via vocals to someone willing to listen. Hell, even Firyut even though she's deaf. You go into Chromium and head onto the Troll-Hulu home page and, oh holy shit, finally. Season three, episode one, 'The Riskshank Rickdemption.' You have been waiting for this forever. Right before you click on it, something that doesn't usually happens, happens. Someone is trying to contact you! You... actually don't know how to respond to this. Sure, you like talking to people whenever you can, but you also want to watch Rick and Morty... Well, Gog didn't you four eyes for nothing!

== Cavdit: Answer Vlad and watch Rick and Morty

You open Trollian and minimize it, setting it on the upper half of your screen, and do the same with the show on the bottom half. As the show opens to a scene of some place called 'Shoney's', Vlad sends a message. You keep your bottom eyes focused on the show and your top on the chat.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has began pestering quadriclopRapper [QR]

RR: Hey, Random question Real quick.

QR: 'K, shoot.

RR: Did youR 'souRces' happen to involve anything about meteoRs?

QR: \/\/hy, yes it did.

QR: How did you k/\/ow?

RR: Uhh...

RR: Let's just say...

RR: I now have my OWN souRces.

RR: MoRe Reliable souRces.

QR: \/\/hat /\/o\/\/?

QR: How?

RR: SoRRy, pRomised on my eteRnal life I wouldn't say until they came into play.

RR: Gotta talk to Jazz.

RR: Adios.

QR: Ok the/\/...

QR: Bye.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has ceased pestering quadriclopsRapper [QR]

Well, that was fast. What kind of sources could he have? Does Earth have temple thing too? These are questions for later. Right now, Rick and Mort- ok now someone else is contacting you. Oh, finally! Firyut! About time she responded to you. You click open the chat and are met with the message.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has began trolling quadriclopsRapper [QR]

RA: i really dont want to do t#is

QR: Gio/\/ta!

QR: Baby, I k/\/ew you'd get back to /\/\e.

QR: /\/o\/\/, about the ga/\/\e.

RA: i already talked to vlad

RA: prospits 6reat!

RA: its so bri6#t!

RA: t#ere are future tellin6 clouds!

RA: and do you know the best part?

QR: /\/o, I do/\/'t.

QR: That's \/\/hy I'/\/\ aski/\/g you a/\/d \/ladi/\/\ir.

RA: t#eres no you

RA: are we done #ere?

QR: That hurt a little, Firyut.

QR: Right i/\/ the heart, that's where it hit /\/\e.

RA: dont care

RA: were done #ere

RA: bye!

QR: Hey, hey, \/\/ait a seco/\/d.

RA: u6# w#at?

QR: Ha\/e you had ti/\/\e to co/\/sider /\/\y offer fro/\/\ last ti/\/\e \/\/w talked?

RA: cadvit noooo

RA: not now please

QR: Co/\/\e o/\/, \/\/e both k/\/o\/\/ it ca/\/ \/\/ork.

QR: I like pressi/\/g your butto/\/s and you ob\/iosly, quote-u/\/quote, 'hate' /\/\e.

QR: A/\/d it's clear our /\/\utual /\/\ocki/\/g is /\/\ore tha/\/ just casual.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has ceased trolling quadriclopsRapper [QR]

Rude, but it just strengthens your point. It's going to happen at some point. You are calling it now. But, you being right about you relationship life can wait another thirteen minutes. Rick's at a drive-thru for some reason with a Gromflamite. Something about Szechuan sauce? The hell is Szechuan sauce? You don't know why, but for some reason you're compelled to start a petition to get it back at whatever restaurant he's at.

* * *

 _A/n: And say hello to the final introduction! Now we're getting places._


	11. Chapter 11: Group Chat

== Jazz: Answer your Vampire friend

Woah, jumping right into this, huh? Ok. *Ahem* You put down the games cases and walk to your desk. You sit down and open up your Pesterchum. Finally, you get to use your camera to get a look at your only (sort of) human friend. You click on the camera icon under his name and the facetime is brought up.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has started a facetime with trainingInfromant [TI]

Vlad: Jazzmine!

Jazz: Vlad!

Jazz: it's great to finally see you!

The Vampire on your screen looked fairly normal to say the least. Blond hair, pale as all hell skin, and a thunderbolt necklace. The only thing's that are weird are his eyes are crimson, probably because of the Vampire-ness, and he has two bite marks on his neck.

Jazz: you know, i didn't think you'd be blond to be honest.

Jazz: or so...

Jazz: British sounding.

Vlad: And I didn't know you had heteRochRomia!

Vlad: That is awesome, Jazz!

Jazz: really?

Vlad: Yeah.

Jazz: you are literally a Vampire

Jazz: and you are interested in me having two different colored eyes.

Vlad: Yes.

Vlad: It's very fascinating to me.

Jazz: alrighty.

Jazz: what's up?

Jazz: ready to start?

Vlad: Yes, about that.

Vlad: Let's just say, for hypothetical Reasons, the game kills us.

Jazz: what?

Vlad: Let me finish!

Vlad: Would you still want to play it?

Jazz: well not if we die!

Vlad: GReat!

Vlad: So let's call it off and foRget this eveR existed!

Jazz: pardon me?

Jazz: just because of a hypothetical you don't want to play a game?

Jazz: that's retarded.

Vlad: No, I just mean that if you'Re scaRed of negative events happening, why even play it?

Jazz: Vlad, how is a game going to kill us?

Vlad: I'm not saying it is!

Vlad: I'm just saying, that if...

Jazz: that if what?

Jazz: there's something going on here Vlad.

Jazz: what is it?

Vlad: Look, I can't tell you Right now but theRe's biggeR things at woRk with this game.

Vlad: As soon as she says she can be involved, I tell you eveRything, but foR now listen.

Vlad: Please.

Jazz: sure, that isn't cryptic at all.

Jazz: who is 'she'?

Vlad: Someone impoRtant.

Jazz: you're just going to play the pronoun game with me aren't you?

Vlad: Yes, now what I need to say.

Vlad: She said you wouldn't listen to that paRt, but she did say you might listen to this.

Vlad: When you get into the game, you'll get a thing called a SpRite.

Vlad: You have to put in two diffeRent things.

Jazz: alright, what do i put in it?

Vlad: Only put in ONE.

Vlad: You have to wait until lateR befoRe the other half.

Jazz: wait, seriously?

Jazz: because the case said that i need to 'prototype' two things as fast as possible.

Vlad: Yes, wait.

Vlad: It's appaRently veRy cRucial.

Jazz: really now?

Vlad: Yes!

Vlad: Why do you keep asking this?

Jazz: because you're not giving me much information to work with.

Jazz: is this 'someone' even reliable?

Vlad: ExtRemely Reliable.

Vlad: Now, second thing I need to talk about.

Vlad: We need to get eveRyone into one chat.

Vlad: We'Re going to have a vote on who the leadeR is going to be.

Vlad: And it's going to be you.

Jazz: ok, now hold the hell up Vamp boy.

Jazz: me?

Jazz: a leader?

Jazz: and you're just dropping this on me like that?

Vlad: Yes I am.

Jazz: ...

Jazz: i appreciate you're honesty.

Jazz: alright, i'll do the chat.

Jazz: knowing our group though, they will heavily disagree with me being leader.

Vlad: TRust me, they won't.

Jazz: whatever you say.

Jazz: i'll get one started.

Jazz: as per command from your reliable source.

Vlad: SaRcasm is beneath you, Jazzmine.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has left the facetime

trainingInformantant [TI] has left the facetime

Well, that was weird and cryptic and confusing. You have to make a facetime with everyone and get this vote done with. Vote for you to become the leader. Should you really do that? Leading was never really your thing, and you can name at least three others that could be better than you. Hell, Cavdit could probably be better than you at it, he already has an 'above everyone else' attitude, so it wouldn't be that hard for him. Why do you have to be leader, and why does this 'someone' Vlad's talking about say you have to? Questions for later. No matter, you open up a chatroom and send it to the rest of your small group.

trainingInfromant [TI] has opened chatroom: Game Shizznit

reaninanimatedRenaissance [RR] has joined the chat

timelessOceanographer [TO] has joined the chat

Saylen: (o)h G(o)g.

Vlad: Saylen, nice to see you again.

Saylen: d(o)n't ta[k t(o) me.

Saylen: s(o) we starting this game (o)r what Jazz?

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has joined the chat

Firyut: *waves*

This new Troll you haven't seen before. She had very, very long hair, completely covering her eyes. The hair was black but had two lines of bright orange going against it's horns. Speaking of her horns, they looked almost like mouse ears, one having a small chip in it. She also had a big pair of teeth-more like fangs to be honest-that pointed down in the middle. The strangest thing was that she had what looked like whiskers on her nose. Well, it's obvious what this girl's gimmick is.

Jazz: hi!

Jazz: you're... Firyut, correct?

The Troll looks at you slightly confused, and then you remember. She's deaf. She couldn't hear you at all. God, you're stupid! Good thing you somewhat understand ASL from taking it as a foreign language. Thank God that was offered at your high school.

Jazz: *sorry*

Jazz: *i forgot about that*

Vlad: What was that?

Jazz: sign language.

Jazz: Firyut's deaf, remember?

Firyut: *its fine!*

Firyut: *w#ats 6oin6 on in #ere?*

intimidatingPrimary [IP] and hospitbleSecondary [HS] has joined the chat

Ridams: tthiis betttter be iimporttantt

Yttrim: Hey!

Yttrim: You're -he o-her human, righ-?

Jazz: i assume you mean me?

Yttrim: Yes!

Jazz: than yes i am.

Jazz: and you two are...

Jazz: Yttrim and Ridams, yes?

You don't know why you asked this. It was pretty obvious from both the Pesterchum handles and the fact they were twins. Along with that, you could see from the bottom corners from both of their screens, they were connected. Right at the shoulder.

Ridams: riightt names

Ridams: wrong order

Yttrim: Yes we are!

Jazz: wait, wrong order?

Jazz: what does that mean?

Vlad: Ridams has a kind of suRpeRioRity thing going on.

Firyut: *w#ats 6oin6 on?*

Saylen: *unimp(o)rtant bs basica[[y*

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has joined the chat

QR: Sup.

Fiyurt: *noooo*

Vlad: Ah, if it isn't the fouR-eyed pRick himself.

Vlad: I foRgot you needed to be heRe.

Yttrim: Is him being here necessary?

Firyut: *saylen*

Firyut: *tell cavdit i said piss off*

Saylen: hey cav-dick.

Saylen: firyut says piss (o)ff.

Saylen: that's fr(o)m me t(o)(o).

Jazz: hey!

Jazz: we can all hate Cavdit later.

Jazz: now we have important game stuff to go over.

Cavdit: \/\/ait, \/\/hat about e\/eryo/\/e hati/\/g /\/\e?

Vlad: Look, since we'Re about to staRt this thing, we need a leadeR, Right?

Ridams: ii guess so

Yttrim: -ha- would be a -hing we need.

Jazz: i guess so.

Saylen: guess s(o)me(o)ne needs t(o) be in charge.

Cavdit: \/\/hat about e\/eryo/\/e hati/\/g /\/\e?

Cavdit: I really \/\/a/\/t to go back to that.

Firyut: *wait a second!*

Jazz: guys, Firyut says wait.

Firyut: *w#eres mistuo?*

Saylen: that's

Saylen: actua[[y a g(o)(o)d questi(o)n.

Yttrim: Wha-?

Jazz: where's Mistuo?

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] joined the chat

Mistuo: Hey, s-o-rry ab-o-vt that.

Mistuo: H-o-pe y'all weren't waiting -o-n me.

This new Troll was honestly the most normal looking one out of all of them. He had plain black hair, just like all of the others, that was flipped to the left and right. His horns were the most interesting you've seen out of all the Trolls. They looked like fox ears, but they were hollow in the middle. His face, on the other hand, was very sunken in, like he hadn't ate in a month. he also looked tired. Like he actually followed what you said earlier and started a movie marathon. He was wearing a scarf that had another one of those weird symbols on it that all the Trolls had. Seemed like a cool dude.

Cavdit: Ho\/\/'s it goi/\/' Fitera?

Mistuo: G-o-o-d

Mistuo: Has any-o-ne t-o-ld him ab-o-vt the y-o-v d-o-n't like him thing?

Cavdit: Does e\/eryo/\/e seriously /\/ot like /\/\e?

Mistuo: I like y-o-v.

Yttrim: Shu- i-, Plides.

Ridams: shutt iitt mossy

Jazz: ok, now that we have everyone, we can get down to business.

Cavdit: ...To defeat the Hu/\/s?

Jazz: Cavdit...

Jazz: i'm trying to be serious here...

Jazz: and you're making me want to go into a musical number.

Jazz: just shut up.

Jazz: please.

Cavdit: You k/\/o\/\/ \/\/hat, you're actually polite so I \/\/ill be quiet.

Jazz: thank you.

Cavdit: But ca/\/ \/\/e get back to the /\/o o/\/e likes /\/\e thi/\/g soo/\/?

Jazz: no

Jazz: now

Jazz: where were we?

Saylen: we were d(o)ing the v(o)te f(o)r [eader.

Jazz: thank you Say.

Jazz: so, since we're doing this thing, someone needs to lead it.

Jazz: and i'd like to nominate myself.

Jazz: against my own better judgement.

Vlad: I second that.

Yttrim: Same here.

Yttrim: I -hink Jazz can do pre-y good.

Saylen: s(o)unds [ike a g(o)(o)d idea t(o) me.

Mistuo: I'm g-o-o-d with that.

Ridams: seriiouslly?

Ridams: yallll are goiing tto votte ffor tthe damn human?

Ridams: ii can do some much betttter tthan her!

Jazz: uh excuse me?

Jazz: what does being a human have to do with anything?

Jazz: from what i've gathered, you Trolls aren't any better.

Yttrim: Hey!

Cavdit: Hey!

Saylen: hey!

Mistuo: Eh, she's g-o-t a p-o-int.

Ridams: llook iim nott sayiing iitts aboutt you beiing a human.

Jazz: that's exactly what you're saying.

Ridams: shutt up

Ridams: iim justt sayiing iid do tthe bestt outt off anyone here

Ridams: you know

Ridams: because iim nott some peace lloviing dumbass human

Ridams: how as a trollll iim far lless priimattiive and uselless

Ridams: so allll ffor me?

Cavdit: I'/\/\ dow/\/ \/\/ith hi/\/\ bei/\/g i/\/ charge.

Vlad: AlRight, so it's, what?

Vlad: FouR to two?

Vlad: I say Jazz wins.

Yttrim: Wai-, Firyu- hasn'- vo-ed ye-.

Saylen: g(o)(o)d p(o)int, because (o)ne v(o)te can change the math here.

Saylen: *firyut*

Firyut: *yes?*

Saylen: *wh(o) d(o) y(o)u want as a [eader?*

Saylen: *ridams (o)r jazz?*

Firyut: *jazz defiantly*

Saylen: she picks jazz.

Ridams: how do we know tthatt?

Ridams: can anyone ellse besiides you speak hand llanguage?

Vlad: I can, and she did say Jazz.

Mistuo: I als-o- read Jazzmine.

Saylen: same here.

Vlad: Well, that's settled then.

Vlad: Shall we get this thing staRted now?

Yttrim: Wai-, how do we s-ar-?

Mistuo: Fr-o-m what I've read -o-n the back -o-f the case.

Mistuo: -O-ne pers-o-n puts the first pers-o-n in the game.

Jazz: then that person has to put the next person into the game.

Mistuo: Then it just keeps g-o-ing until every-o-ne's in.

Mistuo: Meaning -o-ne -o-f vs is g-o-ing t-o- spend the least am-o-vt -o-f time playing.

Saylen: a[right then.

Saylen: s(o) wh(o) starts this?

Mistuo: Actvally, Firyvt can answer this -o-ne.

Mistuo: *Firyvt, can y-o-v list wh-o- enters the game in -o-rder please?*

Firyut: *sure!*

Firyut: * its vlad puts in jazz who puts in saylen who puts in you who put in yttrim and ridams who put in me who put in cavdit who finally puts in vlad.*

Ridams: wow tthatt was a llott off movementt

Cavdit: So, \/\/hat is it?

Mistuo: It's Jazz, Saylen, me, Yttrim and Ridams, Firyvt, y-o-v, and then Vlad.

Vlad: Wait, so I join last?

Vlad: That sucks.

Ridams: wellll tthatt makes sense siince your a vampiire

Ridams: gett iitt?

Ridams: sucks?

Vlad: I'll Rip out youR thRoat if you say that again.

Ridams: youre justt sttrenghtteniing my poiintt

Yttrim: And my poin- from earlier.

Jazz: hey!

Jazz: we can talk about points later, ok?

Jazz: right now, Vlad needs to put me in the game.

Vlad: Sadly, she's Right.

Vlad: Time is a factoR heRe.

Vlad: I'll get this thing staRted on my end.

Jazz: nice.

Jazz: everyone, i'm gonna keep this thing open if you all want to talk.

Jazz: me and Vlad have to start this thing.

Vlad: I'll be off then.

Vlad: Don't take too long please.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has left the chat

Jazz: i'm out too.

Jazz: don't go too crazy here.

trainingInformant [TI] has left the chat

Cavdit: So...

Cavdit: A/\/yo/\/e \/\/a/\/t to hear so/\/\e /\/e\/\/ /\/\usic?

Yttrim: I'm ou-.

hosptibleSecondary [HS] has left the chat

Ridams: me ttoo

intemidatingPrimary [IP] has left the chat

Mistuo: Ta-ta.

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has left the chat

Firyut: ...

Cavdit: ...

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has left the chat

== Jazz: Put in game

You close out of the chat and open the disk-tray thingy. You put in the disk and close it, clicking the download button that appears on the screen. For some reason, clicking it brings up another button asking if you're sure about it. Click again. As you do a screen pops up with the name of the games creator company, Skaianet, which you have never heard of once in your life. After a small bar fills up at the bottom, another bar shows up. This one is obviously the actual download bar, with an orange Spirograph above it. As per usual with these game loading bars, there is a small message right under it. The message reads 'Loading Meteors'. As soon as that message changes, you feel a giant crash and hear an equally giant boom. You turn around and see a lot more light outside than there should be at this time.

== Jazz: Look outside

You walk over to the window and see something extremely terrifying. Across the city, there was a giant, flaming rock buried into the ground with several destroyed buildings and neighborhoods around and under it. Sadly, that wasn't the worst part. The Space Needle, the cities monument you see every single day, was completely in half, one still standing in the ground and on fire, the other pointed directly into the ground. Against your better judgement you look up and see something you found even more surprising than this. There were several dozens, if not over a hundred more meteors flying towards... you.


	12. Jazz: Enter

== Jazz: Panic

You panic. You borderline just witnessed the Space Needle get torn in half by a meteor and were now watching even more meteors coming towards you. You look down and notice something that scared you a little. Your Cousin's car wasn't in the driveway. She never leaves without her car. She left. But, why meteors? Why now? Wait a second... Didn't that stupid game case say something about meteors actually? Yeah, yeah that's right! You pick up the game case and read the back.

"SBURB: The Frog-Based Universe Simulator!"

Escape the meteors that threaten your world and create a new one in it's wake!

With the help of your friends, you shall save Skaia from the battle between the moons of Derse and Prospit, and halt the Reckoning!

Special Additions to the Special Pre-Release include

-Bigger, better worlds!

-Wider variety of consorts!

-Even more puzzles and riddles!

Oh hell, this is some Sword Art Online shit right here! Game takes over and now everyone's screwed. You put down the case and look out the window again. The sky was, as expected, turning red. This was some apocolypes movie stuff right there. You go back inside and look at the computed screen. The bar was about a third done so far, and had another message under. "Creating Lands: 39%". You notice a small notification on your Pesterchum and click it. It's Vlad, just like you thought.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has begun pestering trainingInformant [TI]

RR: AlRight, Jazz.

RR: My thing's almost done.

RR: How is youRs going so faR?

TI: Vlad.

TI: i've got a question for you.

TI: and i want you to answer as honest as possible, got it?

RR: Got it.

TI: you said you have a reliable source correct?

RR: Yes, I did.

RR: Why?

TI: well, did this 'reliable source' happen to say anything about FUCKING METEORS DESTROYING THE WORLD!?

RR: Why, yes she did.

TI: and you didn't think to tell me this?

RR: I asked if you'd play it if the woRld would end oR not.

TI: yeah, but you didn't say it would really happen!

TI: you were so goddamn cryptic!

RR: Well, what was I supposed to say?

TI: how about

TI: 'Hey, Jazzmine, let's not play this because it will liteRally kill us all'?

RR: WheRe's the fun in that?

TI: i'm going to kill you.

TI: if i live through this, i will come to Liverpool and drive a wooden stake through your non-beating heart.

TI: and burn your body

TI: on a cross

TI: in the holiest place on earth

TI: before drowning your body

TI: in holy water

RR: ...

RR: You scaRe me.

TI: and i should.

RR: Now, what my souRce said is that once the loading finishes,

RR: I will put seveRal items into youR house.

TI: put them in my house?

RR: Just follow me here.

RR: You will use these items to cReate another item that you will bReak oR activate.

RR: This will take you into the game and away fRom dangeR.

TI: and the meteors?

TI: what about them?

TI: what about everyone out there?

TI: what about my cousin!?

RR: ...

TI: Vlad.

TI: fucking answer me!

RR: I'm soRRy Jazz.

RR: No one will suRvive what's happening out theRe.

RR: And if youR cousin isn't in the house...

RR: I'm soRRy.

trainingInformant [TI] has ceased pestering reanimatedRenaissance [RR]

You can't believe what you just read. Vlad just told you that, even if you make into the game, everyone here is going to die. Your _Cousin_ was going to die... You were going to die if this doesn't work like it should. You hate Vlad for not saying anything about this, but you know you have to work with him here. You look back at the computer. 63%. You hear another explosion. Another meteor hit somewhere, and it sounded closer. What are you going to do now?

== Jazz: Watch the bar.

You sit down and think about what's happening. You watch the download bar slowly grow, doing your favorite thing and putting the cursor on the bar and wait for it to pass it. 67%. It finally passes the cursor and you look behind you. The sky was still red-orange from the fire and meteors. There's another explosion and the whole house shakes. 70%. Thirty more until your possible escape from this hell. But... what about all those people? Thousands, hell, MILLIONS are living in this state. And what about Vlad? He lives in England and if he's joining... Oh, God... Sadly, there is one thing you can't shake the thought of. Your Cousin. She raised you for your whole life, and now she wasn't even around? Where could she be? You glance at the computer. 79%.

The only thing really in your mind right now-even more so than the game, even more so than the Trolls, even more so than the meteors-was you Cousin. She was the only family you've ever actually had. Then, you hear something. A sound you've gotten so used to in you seventeen years of living in this house. It was the sound of a '64 model El Camino. Your Cousin's El Camino. You run to the window and look at the driveway. Just like you thought, the bright orange car-truck was parked in front and your Cousin quickly rushed out of it. You look back at the computer and see it.

98%...

99%...

Cousin: JAAAAZZ!

The screen closes and now there's a small tune playing from the computer. You look at the Pesterchum and see that Vlad is messaging again.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has begun pestering trainingInformant [TI]

RR: Jazz.

RR: FiRst, I'm so, so, so soRRy.

RR: But theRe's no time now.

RR: I'm putting the things in youR living Room.

TI: Vlad.

TI: she made it!

TI: she's in my house!

TI: do this!

TI: do this thing right the hell now Vampire boi!

RR: Wait, seRiously?

RR: That's amazing!

RR: Yeah, I see heR!

RR: She's coming up the staiRs Right now.

TI: wait, you can see her?

RR: Yeah, the game gave me a viewpoRt of youR whole house!

RR: What's with all the gas masks and fReezedRy food and medkits?

RR: ARe those bug-out bags?

TI: yeah.

TI: cousin's a doomsday prepper.

RR: Nice.

RR: Now, I'm putting in a thing called a 'CRuxtRudeR' in youR living Room.

TI: alright, i'll head down.

RR: Wait, I'm not done.

RR: I'm then going to put down an Alchemiter and a Totem Lathe.

RR: I'll open the CRuxtRudeR, it will give you a pillaR thing, you put it in the Totem whateveR, and you place it on the AlchimeteR.

RR: You'll get a thing that puts you into the game.

RR: Got that?

TI: uh...

TI: i'll figure it out.

TI: just place the things and i'll get to it.

RR: AlRight then.

RR: Adios

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has ceased pestering trainingInformant [TI]

You push out from your desk and exit your room, only to be met face to face with you Cousin who looks both scared and pissed.

Cousin: Jazz, we are getting out of here.

Cousin: NOW.

Jazz: what?

Jazz: no, we can't!

Cousin: Oh, we can, and we are.

Cousin: Come on.

Jazz: no i mean we literally can't.

Jazz: i know a way to stop this.

Cousin: Cut the crap Jazz, this is serious!

Jazz: and i am serious!

Jazz: just give it a few moments.

Jazz: my friend Vlad is getting something to help.

Cousin: Vlad?

Cousin: You mean that idiot you talk to?

Cousin: In England?

Jazz: yes!

Jazz: just trust me!

Cousin: No!

Cousin: The world is falling apart out there!

Cousin: The best thing to do right now is get the hell out of-

She is cut off from a small tremor in the house. You both look down the stairs and run down. What you see when you reach the bottom is a giant construction. It was a big square looking things with a circular pilar at the top with a turning thing on the side.

Cousin: Jazz...

Cousin: What the hell is this?

Jazz: well, if what Vlad said is right...

Jazz: this is a Cruxtruder.

Cousin: And what does it do exactly?

Jazz: we got to break the top off somehow.

Cousin: Got it.

Cousin: Turn the thing until it opens.

Your Cousin walks up onto the Cruxtruder and tugs on the turning thing, only to have it budge slightly. This didn't seem like it would work. Than, there is another shake as a long, thin table looking thing is placed beside you. It has a clamp part about two-feet apart with a needle above it. This must be the Totem Lathe.

Cousin: And what is THAT thing now in the middle of the living room?

Jazz: totem lathe.

Jazz: you have that Cruxtruder open yet?

Cousin: No luck!

You run over to one of the windows and look outside. Against your better judgement you look up and see the most collosal meteor you've ever seen, headed directly for you. If you were a betting gal, you'd say you have... five minutes? Hopefully this is going by anime rules and five minutes is more like three and a half hours. How long Freeza took to blow up Namek when he said five minutes.

== Jazz: Help your Cousin

You jump up onto the machine with your older Cousin. You look at the turning dealy and grab it.

Jazz: on the count of three, we both pull my way.

Jazz: got it?

Cousin: Just count!

Jazz: ok, one.

Jazz: two

Jazz: three!

You both pull the turning part and the top pops off like nothing. Once it does, a small pillar looking thing, about two feet, comes out along with a... What the hell is this thing? It's some kind of weird flashing seizure ball. That's the best way to describe it. It was flashing the purple color your left eye and type with, and a bright blue, just like the color of your other eye.

Cousin: Let me guess, you don't know?

Jazz: actually, i do!

Jazz: it's a kernalsprite!

Jazz: just have to toss something in it, give me a sec...

You look into your Modus and see the only this is your Dewott figurine. You quickly look around and grab the closest item that would classify as an electric-type and capturelogue it. You then use it to take out your figurine and retrieve it. As soon as you can, you throw the Dewott into the circle. There is a large flash and when you look back the circle is replaced with a floating Dewott head. That's pretty cool you guess. Have to wait for the second part though. You climb onto the pillar on the top and grab the pillar, apparently called a 'Dowel' and classified as a Poison-type. There's also a Capturelogue card under it, but it looked like it had holes in it.

Jazz: alright, and if i put this on the thing over there, i should get...

Jazz: i don't know.

Cousin: Just do something!

Cousin: Who knows how long we have!

Cousin: Just wing it!

Taking your guardians advice, you jump down and run to the Lathe. You use your pen to get the Dowel and you put it in the clamp part. Next to that is a small slot perfectly sized for a card. You quickly put the punched card in it and press a button on the side. Soon, the needle comes down on the Dowel and carves it into a weird shape. As soon as you pick it up, Vlad puts down another huge building. This one a large circular pad with a stand on the side. Probably where the Dowel goes.

Jazz: so...

Jazz: think this thing goes on that thing?

Cousin: How should I know?

Cousin: This is your thing!

Cousin: Now put the thing on the thing and do a thing!

Jazz: ok, calm down!

You take the Dowel and put it on the new contraption. Once the totem is on it, a laser thing comes down and scans it, before moving over to the pad. After a second, a small item shows up on it. It looked like a purple and blue snow globe. You step onto the Alchimeter and pick it up, turning it over and seeing writing on the bottom.

Jazz: there's words on it.

You look over at your Cousin to see she has went to the window and looked out. From how she was standing, she was looking directly at the meteor.

Cousin: Cool, don't care.

Cousin: DO SOMETHING.

Cousin: It's almost here!

Jazz: shit!

Jazz: uh...

Jazz: ok, it says...

Jazz: 'Once Glass Smashed the Hero Will Find,

Jazz: She Has Saved The Maid of Mind.'

Jazz: what does that mean?

Cousin: It means break the damn thing!

Cousin: Smashed and saved, that's what it said, right?

Cousin: Break the bitch!

== Jazz: Break the bitch

You look at the snow globe and think about it. You don't know why, but you feel that if you do, you will start something you can't imagine. Either way, you raise your hand and throw it onto the ground.

== Jazz: Enter

Instead of a crash with water going everywhere, there is another bright flash. You're completely blinded it but soon come to, seeing your Cousin walking towards you. As soon as your vision comes back completely, you start walking towards the window. The sky didn't look as red as it did before. In fact, it was actually... green? You look out the window and see something very, very, VERY different than Seattle.

== Jazz: Gawk at the landscape

You look around and try to take in just what you were seeing. The entire place was very light with a kind of purple grass and dirt. There were hundreds of ponds, both small and giant, that were filled with bright green liquid, emitting some equally green... steam? It also smelled horrible, yet with sour undertones. It was trippy as hell. That was when your Cousin tapped you shoulder and you turn around.

Cousin: Jazz.

Cousin: I am about to ask you something.

Cousin: I want you to be very, very clear with your answer.

Cousin: Can you do that?

Jazz: uhh...

Cousin: Good.

Cousin: Now, where the hell are we?

Jazz: i-

Cousin: And if you say 'i don't know,' I will literally strangle you.

Cousin: Right here.

Cousin: Right now.

Jazz: ...

You try to think quickly, only to be interrupted by the Sprite you made a few moments ago. The Sprite now had a long, purple and blue snake like body with two shells on it's side. It had the head of a Dewott and had a surprisingly soothing voice.

Dewottsprite: I can answer that one!

Dewottsprite: Wott!

Cousin: Oh, dear God it can talk now.

Dewottsprite: Welcome, Jazz and her Cousin.

Dewottsprite: To the Land of Acid and Light!

Dewottsprite: Now, you should get something to cover your mouths.

Jazz: why?

Dewottsprite: Because, if you don't, the air will kill you!


	13. Chapter 13: First Alchemizing Spree

== Jazz and Cuz: Question the current events

Christ, four Jazz chapters in a row? There are more than one character in this story you know. She isn't even the most important in this session, Goddammit. Some people like Firyut, and we haven't heard from the twins in a while... What do you mean this is important, this chapter is short as fuck!... Last Jazz one for a while? I guess it could work... Wait, what? This thing's on? Oh shit. Uhhh... Alright, let's get to this shit then. *Ahem* You have just entered a brand new world unbeknownst to you or your Cousin, or probably anyone ever. Dewottsprite had just told you the name of this planet is the Land of Acid and Light, and that the air will kill you meaning you need a gas mask or something. Thank the Lord Cuz is a doomsday prepper. As soon as the Sprite told you two this, she straight up ran to her room and came back with two ugly gas masks. Also thankfully, you know how to use this thing. Sadly, if there is anything alive on this planet they're probably going to freak seeing this. You need something to lessen the creep factor of these masks. Then, you look at the big machines, plus the newest one Vlad put down, in your living room and back to the Sprite.

Jazz: you, Dewott, question.

Dewottsprite: Yeees, Madam Jazzmine?

Jazz: machine.

Jazz: what do?

Dewottsprite: Ah, yes!

Dewottsprite: This big one in front of you, is the Alchemiter!

The purple and blue Sprite motions to the large pad structure.

Dewottsprite: The next ones, is the Totem Lathe and Punch Designix!

Dewottsprite: You use these machines to combine and make amazing items!

Cuz: Ok, pause real quick.

Cuz: Combine stuff?

Cuz: Like, make useful things out of plain garbage?

Dewottsprite: Wott!

Dewottsprite: I mean, yes.

Jazz: and you said 'Punch Designix'?

Jazz: like, as in punching cards like the one before?

Dewottsprite: Absolutely, young Madam Jazz!

Dewottsprite: But to do so, you need some Grist!

Cuz: Grist?

Dewottsprite: Grist.

Jazz: Grist.

Dewottsprite: Yes, Grist.

Dewottsprite: You get the Grist from little creatures called Imps!

Dewottsprite: In fact, there are a few now.

The Sprite points toward the window causing you and your Cousin to look over and see a few humanoid, black creatures with whiskers and shells climbing in. The Imps also looked very angry and ready to kill something. As you would in a situation like this, you and Cuz pull out your weapons: a shitty purple pen and a large machete.

Jazz: Dewott, explain please!

Dewottsprite: Imps are creatures created by this Lands Denizen, Frezetus, by command of the Dersite agents.

Dewottsprite: They are driven by the simplest order to kill you!

Jazz: and i assume that means we have to kill them before hand?

Cuz: Uh, duh.

Cuz: I've been wanting to use this thing forever.

== Cuz: Tear into these Imps

As in on impulse, your Cousin jumps at the Imps and brings down the machete, perfectly splitting it's head in half and leaving a... is that a Gusher? It's a giant, purple Gusher. Of course, Cuz doesn't even pay attention to it and attacks the other Imps, doing the exact same thing. There was nothing left but the Gushers and small puddles of black ink stuff. Once the last Imp is dead, your Cousin turns around with a smile and ink all over her shirt and shakes off her machete.

Cuz: Well, that was fun.

Cuz: Hey, Sprite guy.

Cuz: What's with the Gushers?

Dewottsprite: Those are the Grist I mentioned!

Dewottsprite: Jazzmine, could you please pick them up?

Jazz: uhh, what?

Jazz: ok.

You walk over to the large things of Grist and go to grab one. As you do, they simply disappear into nothing.

Jazz: where'd they go?

Jazz: did they despawn?

Jazz: this is a game so that stuff happens.

Dewottsprite: No, no, it didn't!

Dewottsprite: It simply went into your Grist reserves.

Dewottsprite: You now have around twenty Grist to spend on making items and equipment.

Dewottsprite: I would recommend mixing your computer with something to make it more portable and easily accessible!

Jazz: oh shit, that's right!

Jazz: Vlad probably has to tell me something about this!

Jazz: Dewott, Cuz, stay here I'll be right back!

Before they could respond you run back up your room and check out your laptop to see you have three notifications for you. Might as well check the first one.

hospitableSecondary [HS] has begun trolling trainingInformant [TI]

HS: Hello, Jazzmine!

HS: I was jus- wan-ing -o apologize for Ridams earlier.

HS: You may have no-iced, bu- he's a -iny bi-...

HS: Xenophobic.

HS: He -hinks -rolls are -he only in-eligen- species in -he universe.

HS: He bashes ever-hing ou- in space -ha- doesn'- have grey skin or horns.

HS: Also, he has some pre-y bad anger problems.

HS: Kinda comes from him -rying -o compensa-e for some-hing, if you know wha- I mean.

HS: Jus- wan-ed -o say sorry for him.

HS: Chao.

hospitableSecondary [HS] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

How considerate! You'll have to make note to thank Yttrim for that later. As well as to not apologize for her asshole brother.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has begun pestering trainingInformant [TI]

RR: Jazz.

RR: I know you aRe cuRRently awaRe, but you aRe no longeR on EaRth.

RR: I'm going to set up a chat so can get to me soon.

RR: I have some news about the new machine I'm putting in...

RR: Now.

RR: [Link]

RR: Ta-ta.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has ceased pestering trainingInformant [TI]

quadiclopRapper [QR] has begun trolling trainingInformant [TI]

QR: /\/\y lady, Hattie!

QR: Look, I \/\/as \/\/o/\/deri/\/g so/\/\ethi/\/g.

QR: /\/ot tryi/\/g to be \/\/eird or a/\/ythi/\/g, but...

QR: \/aldro \/\/as aski/\/g \/\/hat you hu/\/\a/\/s got do\/\/\/ there, if get \/\/hat she /\/\ea/\/s.

QR: /\/\ust got the hots for Drago.

QR: ...Hello?

QR: Alright, I get it.

QR: Either you're busy or this is a \/\/eird topic for you hu/\/\a/\/s.

QR: If you'\/e got a proble/\/\ \/\/ith it, it's all cool.

QR: Adios.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

quadriclopsrapper [QR] has begun trolling trainingInformant [TI]

QR: Oh, o/\/e /\/\ore thi/\/g!

QR: You said so/\/\ethi/\/g about a /\/\usical /\/u/\/\ber eariler?

QR: Chat /\/\e up so/\/\e ti/\/\e if you \/\/a/\/t to go through \/\/ith that.

QR: Adios, agai/\/.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has ceased trolling trainingInformant [TI]

Well then. That's definitely... something. Alchemize first, chats later. Also, another note: chat up Cavdit sometime to show how to properly sing. You pick up the laptop and toss it into your Type Match-Up Modus and look around. There's gotta be something... And then you see it. Yourself! You look into the window and catch a look at yourself, and note your glasses. These would be extremely useful, and you don't have to pull it out of your Modus all the time. But that would still be a little boring, wouldn't it? You look around and think. You have a rather decent selection of things to toss in. You look at your DVD stand and grab a case. Dragon Ball Z, Freiza Arc. If what you think is right, this will be pretty nice. You also grab a poster off the wall, because you know this will be awesome.

== Jazz: Return downstairs

You rush to the living room with all of the cards and see more black puddles and a lot more Grist lying around. Must have been an Imp invasion. You look over and see Cuz and Dewottsprite fighting off a couple. Interestingly, Dewottsprite does use actualy Pokemon moves, drowning an Imp with a strong Brine. Nice.

== Jazz, Cuz, and Dewottsprite: Start Alchemization spree

Jazz: hey, you two.

Jazz: i got the stuff, now what do i do?

Dewottsprite: That is simple, Madam Jazz!

Dewottsprite: Step one: Go to the Punch Designix.

Jazz: alright.

Dewottsprite: Step two: Put the items you are going to punch into the slot.

Jazz: ok...

You take off your glasses and put them into your Modus before pulling them back out. You take a second before actually putting it in with your impared vision, and the card is now punched. You do the same with the DVD case, the laptop, and your poster. You take all the cards over to what you think is the Totem Lathe.

Jazz: ok, now?

Dewottsprite: Step three: Take a dowel from the Cruxtruder and put it on the Lathe.

Jazz: aw, crap.

Jazz: hey Cuz?

Jazz: grab me one please.

Jazz: can't really see that well.

Cuz: Gotcha, little runt.

Your Cousin walks over to the machine and pulls the turning thing, making the machine spit out a few dowels. She picks them up and brings them over and puts one in the machine.

Cuz: Alright, it's in the thing.

Jazz: thank you.

Jazz: now then...

Jazz: my glasses and... the case.

You put in the two cards and hit the button, making the dowel into a totem. This gives a weird looking totem, fat middle, thin right side, and even left side. Alright, that's one of them. You take the dowel and try to carry yourself to the Alchemiter. Once you do, you feel around for the pillar and put the totem on top. You put it on and press the button that brings down the laser. Once it does, there is a flash and there is now a small, red circular item in the middle. You stand up and go over to it before picking it up. There's a small groove in the circle that perfectly fits an ear. You put it on and are instantly met with a neon green screen flashing across both your eyes, making your vision right again.

Jazz: alright, i like this.

Cuz: Holy shit, that is cool!

Cuz: What are those?

Jazz: oh, i just put in my glasses with my Dragon Ball DVD.

Jazz: so, i guess it's just a Scouter thing.

Jazz: i've got a Scouter!

Jazz: i'm feaking Vegeta up in here!

Dewottsprite: Amazing, Jazzmyne!

Dewottsprite: I believe you had some more things, yes?

Jazz: right, thank you!

Jazz: i actually need to punch one more thing.

You go back over to Designix ad take off the gas mask. You capturelouge it and punch the card. You turn around and are already hit with a minor headache. Christ, this Land is acidic. You take the card and rush over to the Lathe, and put in the gas mask card along with your Tokyo Ghoul poster card. Cuz tosses on a new dowel, setting the machine into work.

Cuz: Was that a Tokyo whatever poster?

Jazz: Tokyo Ghoul, yes.

Cuz: God, what is with you and anime.

Jazz: it's cool alright?

Jazz: please be quiet, i actually think i'm dying right now.

You take the dowel back to the Alchemiter and start it up. After a lasering and a small flash, there is a gas mask in the center, matching the pattern used in the anime itself. Still a little creepy but it's cool. You quickly take the Tokyo Mask and put it on, breathing normally again.

Jazz: oh, thank God that was terrible.

Dewottsprite: I like it!

Dewottsprite: Now, I believe you had a laptop to mix?

Jazz: i'm getting there, be patient.

You go over to the Punch machine again and take off the Scouter, card it, and punch it. Doing the exact same thing like last time, you take the totem over to the Alchemiter and do the exact same thing again. A laser and a flash, and now the Scouter glasses have the added bonus of working as a laptop. You put it on and are met with a weird ass interface. There's your Pesterchum symbol in the upper right corner, followed by Youtube to the left, the SBURB symbol to the left, and Firefox also on the left. Nice.

Jazz: alright, i can dig this.

Jazz: well, how do i look?

Dewottsprite: Fantastic!

Cuz: Like a weeb.

Jazz: oh, screw you.

Jazz: Dewott, now what?

Dewottsprite: Well, you can either begin your Quest or upgrade your weapons!

Cuz: Yo, wait a sec floating guy.

Cuz: Upgrade our weapons?

Cuz: I'm interested.


	14. Saylen: Enter

== Be Saylen

After what feels like forever, you return to the Plum-blooded Troll in her hydroelectric dam-hive. Currently, you are waiting for Jazz to activate your game. You've had it inside your husktop for about fifteen minutes now and it's only went to about 3%. You assume that since this is a client-server based game, you both need to have the same disks in. You think, you honestly have no idea. You're just bored as hell and haven't had anything happen. Usually by now, the dam has had some major problem and required your assistance.

== Saylen: Find something to do

You walk around your repiteblock, that works as kind of your whole upper hive, and try to find something. You look at your shelf and take out a DVD. Doctor Who, season 7. Well, you've watched it about twenty times, but it's something nice. You walk back to your desk and toss in the disk into you... you can't because the game disk is currently in there! That's just perfect. The one time you want to watch something you've already watched several times already, you're trying to install a game. What else is there besides television?

== Saylen: Find something ELSE to do

You put the DVD case into your Modus and watch it go into a card and disappears. Thus is the greatness of the TARDIS Modus. You put something in and, when the universe believes you need it the most, it is given to you. Thank Gog the humans at BBC included this in the Fifty-Year Anniversary pack of Doctor Who. Or else you'd be stuck with your old, boring Clockwork Modus... which you do actually still hold onto for who the hell know why aside complaining to make this chapter longer. You look around your room and decide to open the doors to the patio. Good thing you like fishing, or else living on the water would be boring as fuck. You wait a second and think about your pole. Once you do, your Modus flashes and you are given your fishing pole. Sometimes just wishing for it can bring it to you.

== Saylen: Fish

You sit back on a chair and toss out your line into the water below you. You never get much time to do this, so it's weird to not have any problems. No stress whatsoever right now. I't's strange, but good at the same time... The lack of stress is stressing you out. This the downside of fishing for you. Everything's calm while your life is always hectic and terrible, it stresses you out when there's nothing to stress about. While internally complaining about the lack of stress, there is a tug at the pole. You snap yourself out of your own mind and start reeling in, equipping yourself with your Blunderbuss. Who knows what's going to come out of this damn ocean.

== Saylen: Catch

You keep reeling until you see the white figure under the water. You pull hard and are met with a giant Fang-Seabeast, a shark for any human readers, that is extremely pissed off. While the aquatic creature is stuck in the air, you aim your gun at the beast's head... with your blind eye. You don't know why, but this has always been easier to aim for you. Once the Fang-Seabeast starts to fall in your general direction you blast it dead in the head, spraying both you and your patio with dark pink blood. Soon, the Fang-Seabeast falls hard onto the floor and slides inside a little. Another downside of fishing, the clean up.

== Saylen: Look over your catch

You step over and look at the beast. It's actually pretty small for a Fang-Seabeast, only about thirteen, maybe sixteen feet long, with only two sets of fins. It must be a baby if anything. That actually makes you feel a little bad about your skills. You can usually hook things five times this things size. It's this damn dam tearing down your fishing abilities. Of course the thing ruining your social life and slowly killing you inside is ALSO destroying your pretty much only skill. Well, you can't have this thing stink up your hive. You rip the hook out of the beasts mouth and grab it's tail. With a good toss, you throw the Fang-Seabeast maybe twenty meters away into the ocean. Something will eat it eventually.

== Saylen: Try again

You sit on the chair and throw out the line again. Hopefully this time you'll get something worth while. As you do you start to slowly drift off and close your eye to relax. It was starting to get pretty early too, so you might as well get off to sleep soon... Nah, instead you'll stay up past sunrise and play the game. Mistuo, that malnourished insomniac, does it all the time so it can't be that bad. While you relax you feel a drop of water on your face, surprising you to opening you eye again. You look up and see that there were some large spheres of water floating in the air. Of course, you relax and your powers decide to have a field day... if you even knew what a field day was. You sigh and drop the water back into the ocean, reeling in your line again. Well, at least you can say you caught one thing today, even thought it was very pathetic. You toss your pole into your Modus and it flashes away.

== Saylen: Check the game progress

You walk back over to your desk and check the game again. 6%. What is taking this thing so long? What's taking Jazz so long should be a better question. They left and started putting in the game, like, half an hour ago. Should you try to talk to her? Yes, yes you should. You click over to Trollian and over to Jazz's thing, only to be hit with a contact from someone you don't know. Against your better judgement, you click on the name.

historicalDefender [HD] has began pestering timelessOceanographer [TO]

HD: Saylen?

TO: yeah...

TO: wh(o)'s this?

HD: long story.

HD: just listen to me.

HD: tell Vlad not to listen to you.

TO: ?

TO: what?

TO: the hell even are you?

HD: i'm your...

HD: i'm a friend.

TO: i'm s(o)rry but i (o)n[y have, [ike, five friends.

TO: p[us the tw(o) assh(o)[es.

TO: s(o) i d(o)n't think y(o)u have the right Tr(o)[[.

HD: look, just roll with me here.

HD: i'm from the future.

HD: an alternate future.

HD: things went horribly tits up and now this place is fucked.

TO: crazy, but g(o) (o)n.

HD: now my version of you is trying to make your universe just as fucked up.

HD: by using Vlad.

HD: she's already on her way, so you have until...

HD: i think you get into the game.

TO: ...

TO: f(o)r s(o)me reas(o)n

TO: even th(o)ugh i'm certain y(o)u're crazy,

TO: this makes c(o)mp[ete sense.

HD: of course it does!

HD: to you it does, i mean.

TO: t(o) me?

HD: time players are excessively understanding of timeline bullshit.

HD: understanding and accepting

TO: time[ine bu[[shit?

HD: yes.

TO: i fee[ shenanigans is a better w(o)rd t(o) describe it.

HD: whatever you say, Saybae.

TO: the fuck?

HD: ah shit.

HD: forget that.

HD: it rhymed so that's why i put it.

TO: (o)...k then.

TO: what ab(o)ut me being a time whatever?

HD: too much information right now.

HD: look, alternate me is about to contact you about going into the game.

HD: be prepared to either kill or trap yourself.

HD: i mean...

HD: your future, bitchier self.

TO: wait, a[ternate y(o)u?

TO: wh(o) are y(o)u?

HD: oh my God, were you always this stubborn with stupid questions?

TO: rude.

HD: look, i'll open a facewhatever the hell ok?

TO: a[right.

After a sec, the same person sends you a facetime link, which you click. When the facetime opens, you see... you want to say Jazz? She looks almost just like your human friend, except she was wearing some kind of teal robe thing with a hood. Her glasses were snapped and cracked in a lot of places and held very loosely together. Her face was covered in cuts and bruises and had a full black eye. One interesting feature, was a pair of tiny dots on the side of her neck. You've talked to Vlad enough to know what that stands for in human culture.

Saylen: h(o)[y shit!

Future!Jazz: yeah, it's not as bad as it looks.

Future!Jazz: so, you going to start believing me now?

Saylen: i...

Saylen: what happened?

Future!Jazz: like i said, future you is going to show up pretty soon.

Future!Jazz: so either kill the pretty bitch or knock her out and tie her up.

Saylen: huh...

Saylen: shit, Jazz.

Saylen: wait a second, 'pretty' bitch?

Future!Jazz: look, infinite timelines stuff.

Future!Jazz: this just happens to be one i got lucky with you.

Future!Jazz: who knows if your me is going to feel the same?

Saylen: ah, (o)k then.

Future!Jazz: i mean, for all we know, your me could have the hots for Cav-dick.

Saylen: p[ease d(o)n't say things [ike that.

Future!Jazz: sorry.

Future!Jazz: look, i've used up too much time as is.

Future!Jazz: just get put in the game and get ready to kick your own fine ass.

Saylen: a[right.

Saylen: enter game, kick ass, kn(o)ck (o)ut and tie up.

Saylen: g(o)t it.

Saylen: anything e[se?

Future!Jazz: i'll be back later.

Future!Jazz: just talk to me right now.

Saylen: i fee[ this is g(o)ing t(o) get c(o)nfusing.

Future!Jazz: believe me, this is the easiest thing to follow right now.

Future!Jazz: get ready for a total mind fuck.

historicalDefender [HD] has ceased pestering timelessOceanographer [TO]

Well, that was... interesting to say the least. What the hell was any of that supposed to mean? No matter, like the alternate Jazz said, your current Jazz is contacting you. You don't know if you should bring this up, but you answer her without actually thinking.

trainingInformant [TI] has started a chat with timelessOceanographer [TO]

Jazz: Saylen!

Saylen: Jazzy!

Saylen: what the he[[ are y(o)u wearing?

Your version of Jazz was now wearing a different pair of glasses than normal. Hell, can you even call them glasses? The new face wear looked like some solid, green screen with a single red earpiece on the side. Looked dumb, but also kind of cool.

Jazz: oh, these?

Jazz: well, it turns out that in the game i can combine stuff.

Jazz: so i tossed my glasses in with a Dragon Ball DVD and, boom.

Jazz: Scouter Glasses.

Saylen: we[[, that's c(o)(o)[.

Saylen: speaking (o)f game.

Jazz: i'm getting it, i'm getting it.

Jazz: still trying to get my new interface.

Saylen: new interface?

Jazz: yeah, i also added my laptop to these things.

Jazz: i am now one hundred percent mobile baby!

Suddenly, you hear another voice come from outside of the screen.

Cuz: Jazz!

Cuz: Who are you talking to?

Saylen: wh(o)'s that?

Jazz: that's just my Cousin.

Jazz: i'm just talking to a friend, Cuz!

Cuz: Can I see?

Jazz: sure, i guess.

The new human, you suppose her name's 'Cuz' leans into the frame. She looks a lot like Jazz to be honest, aside from a little older. She had the same black hair and hella pasty skin color. The new human missed the two colored eyes and only had blue, so that's cool you guess. She didn;t look as surprised as Jazz did when she first met you, which was weird.

Cuz: Huh.

Cuz: Uh, hi, I guess?

Saylen: sup.

Cuz: Ok, two questions.

Cuz: One, what are you?

Saylen: i'm and a[ien species (o)n a p[anet ca[[ed A[ternia.

Saylen: we're ca[[ed Tr(o)[[s and i'm a seadwe[[er.

Saylen: i can breath under water and shit [ike that.

Saylen: and y(o)u are?

Cuz: I'm Jazz's Cousin, Marie.

Cuz: You can call me Cuz if you want.

Cuz: Everyone does.

Saylen: c(o)(o)[.

Saylen: i be[ieve y(o)u had a sec(o)nd questi(o)n?

Cuz: Right.

Cuz: You got a name?

Cuz: Or can I just call you Alien Chick?

Saylen: the name's Say[en Va[dr(o).

Cuz: Cool name!

Saylen: thanks.

Saylen: came up with it myse[f.

Cuz: What?

Jazz: *ahem* i believe i needed to talk to her?

Cuz: Oh, right.

Cuz: I'll just...

Cuz: Be over here.

Cuz: Making shit.

Jazz: yeah, you do that.

Cuz: Hey, can I see that Dragon Ball card?

Jazz: why?

Cuz: I got an idea for my machete.

Jazz: anyways.

Jazz: you ready to be put in this shit?

Jazz: quick warning though.

Jazz: this will be weird.

Saylen: be[ieve me, i kn(o)w.

Jazz: you do?

Saylen: yeah, i kinda just had a c(o)nversati(o)n ab(o)ut this.

Saylen: apparent[y my g(o)ing in the game is g(o)ing t(o) be specia[ (o)r s(o)me shit.

Jazz: well cool!

Jazz: alright, i'll get the thing started.

Jazz: now, what i'm going to do is put a few machines in your house.

Jazz: i'm gonna put a Cruxtruder, a Totem Lathe, and an Alchemiter.

Jazz: you open the Cruxthingy, take the Dowel and punched card and put them on the Lathethingy.

Jazz: then you put the new totem on the Alchemithingy, you get a thing, then you break the thing.

Jazz: got it?

Saylen a[[ exept the 'h(o)use' part.

Sayeln: the he[['s a h(o)use?

Jazz: ...

Jazz: the place you live in?

Saylen: y(o)u mean my hive?

Jazz: i... guess?

Jazz: Tr(o)[[ termin(o)l(o)gy?

Saylen: yep.

Jazz: cool.

Jazz: i'll put the thing in.

Cuz: Holy shit, Jazz look at this!

You watch as there is a small disc looking thing being thrown across the back of the room. The disc was extremely bright, looking like it was made out of some kind of light. You see it fly off the screen and blow something up once it makes contact with something.

Jazz: holy shit!

Jazz: was that a Kienzan?

Cuz: No, it was a Distructo Disc!

Cuz: My machete shoots Distructo Discs!

Jazz: that's so freaking awesome!

Jazz: look i gotta go!

trainingInformant [TI] has left the cjat with timelessOceanographer [TO]

You click out of the app and go back to the normal loading screen. 10%. Ok, if Jazz putting the disc in doesn't make this go faster, you will probably kill something. Oh wait, there it goes. 17, 18, 19... Pretty fast too. You turn and look out the window, only to see the sky getting kinda red-orange. This shouldn't really be a surprise, considering the sun and all coming up soon, but this light was starting from the top of the sky.

== Saylen: Check out the light

You stand up and walk over to the window, AGAIN, and look outside. You start to look up only to be interrupted by something huge and on fire crashing into the ocean a few miles away. That honestly was new on this backwards ass planet. Not every day you get to see a space rock his the ocean. But, that raises a small concern. You look up and see a good hundred more heading straight towards your hive! Well, Jazz did say this was going to be weird. Not 'blowing up your hive and maybe killing you, weird, but this is still weird. Also, you should probably panic or something.

== Saylen: Panic

You really don't 'panic', you more just rush back to the desk and check the loading screen. Damn, it was already at 90%. At least this won't go over badly. You run back over to the window to check the meteors. Several of them were already flying and hitting different points in the water, the big one in the middle still dead on for you. Suddenly, you hear the music from your husktop stop and make dinging noise. Must be done loading in. As soon as it does, a big machine thing is placed down in the middle of your room. Must be the Cruxthingy Jazz was talking about. You have to open it somehow, and there was a turny thing on the side. Well, this is easy.

== Saylen: Open the Cruxtruder

You jump up and grab the turny thing, giving it a hard tug to the left. It budges some, but not all the way. Even for a strong Troll like you, this thing was hard as shit to open. You take a moment to breathe in and put all your effort into one, huge pull. Once you do, the top flies off and you are met with some kind of flashing, seizure ball thing. Under that is Plum-colored pillar thing with a punched Capturecard on top. This is easy so far. You hear another thump behind you followed by a third. You turn around and see a long table looking thing with a clamp and needle, and a large pad with a pillar on it.

== Saylen: Try out the new machines

You forget which machine Jazz said to use first, so you go straight to the pad thing. With the very obvious pillar on the side, you place the Dowel on top of it a push a button. The laser comes down and scans the Dowel, goes to the pad, and makes a small, green box. Something inside you says you did this in the wrong order...

== Saylen: Try again

You kick the box off of the pad and go over to the table. You take the Dowel and put it in between the clamps. Looking over the table you notice a small slot, perfect size for a Capturecard. You put in the card and press a button. The needle comes down and carves the Dowel into a weirdly shaped totem. Ooooh, totem. It's called the Totem Lathe. It Lathes Totems... That's neat. You take the new totem and do the same thing as before. This time, though, the object that appeared was a pretty big plum-colored hourglass, with the sand going upwards instead of down. You look it over and see some words on the side. It reads. 'Give patience and sand will rise, this will save the Sylph of Time.' Well, that's pretty straightforward. Just have to wait and hope it runs out before the meteor gets here.

== Saylen: Check out the meteor

You run over to the window and see that the meteors are even closer than before. This is pretty bad. Even worse the driftwood incident when you and Firyut were fishing that one time. Ok, are we ever going to get to that story? No? Alright then... *Ahem* Trying to avoid the fact of your iminent demise, you turn around and start back to the Alchemiter before-OWW! Congratulations, your dumb ass just stepped on one of the several fishing hooks you keep lying around. You sit down and look at your foot. This is what happens when you don't wear your sandals inside. Yeah, that's going to leave a mark.

== Saylen: Remove the hook

Oh, shit. You grip the hook and hold your breathe. You've done this so many times, but it still hurts like shit every time. You work a little a bit and soon the hook comes out. Well, it's defiantly rusty. That's tanitis... Also, your foot is bleeding all over the place and has quickly turned plum around the wound... And, to make it worse, you used the last first aid kit on Firyut that time she accidentally fell off your patio. Well, there's the headache again. Trying to forget this problem, you look at the hourglass and see all the sand is almost at the top of the glass. Then, you look over at the seizure ball again and see it's getting even more annoying. Suddenly, there is a flash and your Modus gives you a Doctor Who poster you tossed in a few weeks ago. Guess you know what the universe wants you to prototype.

== Saylen: Prototype the Sprite

You toss in the poster and are met with a large, plum-colored flash. So many flashes, Gogdamn. When you open your eye again, you see the Sprite has a head of the great Doctor himself. The Tenth to be specific. The best in your opinion. You look back over to the hourglass and happen to see it right as it explodes, signalling you are entering the game.

== Saylen: Enter

Once you can see again, you look around. Everything looks about the same until your see out the window. You get up on your horribly mangled foot and walk over to look outside. What you see is a colossal forest, going for miles as long as you can see. In the trees are a bunch of... circus lights? They're very colorful, but turned off for some reason. Must not be celebration time. You turn back to Doctorsprite and see that it now has a somewhat cognitive form, with arms and everything.

Saylen: (o)h...

Saylen: uh, hi?

Doctorsprite: Ah, hello Madam Saylen!

Doctorsprite: You may already know this, but I'm the Doctor!

Saylen: c(o)(o)[, c(o)(o)[...

Saylen: quick questi(o)n, D(o)ct(o)r.

Saylen: the he[[ am i?

Doctorsprite: This?

Doctorsprite: This, Madam Saylen, is the Land of Forests and Festivals!

Saylen: a[righty then.

Saylen: wait a sec(o)nd...

Saylen: i was expecting s(o)me(o)ne.

Just as you say this, there is a bright flash, borderline blinding your only good eye again. When you can finally see, you see something the future version of Jazz warned you about. It was you. Only cooler looking, with a red outfit with a gear on it, huge plum and pink-colored wings, and a broken horn. This was obviously future you.

== Saylen: Get ready to take care of this

You quickly arm yourself with your Pistol and aim at... yourself? Shit this is confusing. As you do, the other you stands up and raises her hands. She didn't exactly look dangerous, maybe a little bit lighter toned skin, but nothing bad. Nothing, that is, until you're more than certain you see sots on her neck, before she covers it with her hood and puts her hands out again.

Future!Saylen: w(o)ah, w(o)ah, w(o)ah, wait!

Future!Saylen: i'm y(o)u, ca[m d(o)wn!

Saylen: yeah, i kn(o)w y(o)u're me.

Saylen: the future versi(o)n (o)f Jazz warned me ab(o)ut y(o)u.

Future!Satlen: what?

Future!Saylen: my Jazz?

Future!Saylen: n(o), this is bad...

Saylen: and why is that?

Future!Saylen: because she was trying t(o) ki[[ me bef(o)re i bai[ed (o)n my sessi(o)n.

Future!Saylen: things went kinda tits up and everything was fucked.

Future!Saylen: that damn Jazz and Jack's fau[t.

Saylen: and h(o)w exact[y can i trust y(o)u?

Saylen: (o)r me...

Future!Saylen: we[[, aside me [itera[[y being Y(O)U!

Future!Saylen: i can fix that f(o)(o)t (o)f (o)urs.

Saylen: (o)h rea[[y?

Future!Saylen: (o)f c(o)urse.

Future!Saylen: we are the Sy[ph (o)f Time.

Future!Saylen: Sy[phs are hea[ers, in the m(o)st basic sense.

Future!Saylen: just watch.

== Saylen: Get healed

The future version of you opens her arms and some red lines come out of them. The lines intwine you and you feet. You watch as the lines summon a kind of holographic version of yourself. The hologram and red lines reenact your exact movements to the point you stepped on the hook. After a few second, the hologram and lines return and phase into you. Suddenly, the pain in your foot stopped and there was no more bleeding! You look down and see that the wound and bruising was gone. You look back up at the time duplicate of yourself.

Saylen: a[right, y(o)u have my attenti(o)n.

Saylen: what d(o) y(o)u want here?

Future!Saylen: it's simp[e rea[[y.

Future!Saylen: my time[ine went h(o)ribb[y wr(o)ng.

Future!Saylen: i'm here t(o) prevent that.

Saylen: ...

Saylen: a[right, i trust y(o)u f(o)r the time being i supp(o)se.

Future!Saylen: great!

Future!Saylen: n(o)w, bef(o)re we d(o) anything.

Future!Saylen: we g(o)tta A[chemize shit!

Future!Saylen: initiate A[chemizing spree!

* * *

 _A/n: Who would you trust?_


	15. Chapter 15: A Talk Between Linguists

== Cavdit: Wait out the timer

Since you have a very long time to wait until you can be put into the game, you decide to wait on the Lotus Pad. Usually when there's extra time like this you'll be working on something, but for some reason you feel like if you waste even a few minutes could be bad. Waiting on the pad, you notice something outside. You get up and look out the window and see that a few miles away, the sky looks kind of redish with what looks like meteors comeing down. Wait a second... that's where Saylen's hive is. Didn't that game case actually say something about meteors? Without any effort, you connect the circuit on your game's card and read the back. Yep, meteors. Frog based universe game, puzzles and riddles, and meteors. That's it always fun!

The weirdest thing, though, is that looks like Saylen's hive isn't even there anymore. Usually, even from how far away you are, you could see the tower part of the hive. More and more questions. Whatever, she was always a jerk to you anyways. You turn back from the window and look at the timer again. A little less than ten minutes now. You're still really confused at what this could possibly be. It's obviously connect to this dumb game, so can't risk missing out on it. Than again, if there are meteors destroying hives sitting less than five feet from the pad isn't really the smartest thing to do. Well, if you have to wait you might as well try to talk to someone. It's really lonely here to be honest with yourself.

== Cavdit: Talk to someone

You pull out your husktop and open good old Trollian. It looks like everyone of major importance isn't on or already talking to somebody, aside from Mistuo. The guy must have finished his movie. Ah, what the hell, you click on his name and go into the chat page.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has begun trolling introvertedWordsmith [IWS]

QR: Fitera!

QR: \/\/hat's up doll?

IWS: Hell-o- Cavdit.

IWS: This is new f-o-r y-o-v.

IWS: I take it Firyvt was unavailable?

QR: Are you sayi/\/g that I ca/\/'t hit up a frie/\/d out of /\/o\/\/here?

IWS: She was unavailable.

QR: Alright, I \/\/ill ad/\/\t, you \/\/ere/\/'t exactly /\/\y first choice.

QR: I just \/\/a/\/t to talk to so/\/\eo/\/e \/\/hile I

QR: A) \/\/ait to be put i/\/ the ga/\/\e.

QR: And B) \/\/ait for /\/\y Lotus Pad's ti/\/\er to ru/\/ out.

IWS: Well, I am always an ear t-o- talk t-o-.

IWS: And the L-o-tvs Pad is already timing again?

QR: Yeah, I \/\/as co/\/fused too.

IWS: Isn't it -o-n a twentyf-o-vr h-o-vr cycle?

QR: Yes, a/\/d it just ope/\/ed less tha/\/ hour ago.

QR: Thi/\/k it has so/\/\ethi/\/g to do \/\/ith the ga/\/\e?

IWS: I can't say.

IWS: Y-o-v're the tech wizard.

IWS: Y-o-v're the -o-ne that makes and stvdies this stvff.

QR: \/\/hat?

QR: You k/\/o\/\/ about that?

IWS: I kn-o-w a bit m-o-re than m-o-st pe-o-ple are aware -o-f.

IWS: I d-o-n't talk ab-o-vt it that mvch th-o-vgh.

QR: Do you talk about a/\/ythi/\/g /\/\uch?

IWS: N-o-.

IWS: This is h-o-nestly the m-o-st c-o-nversati-o-n I've had with any-o-ne in the past tw-o- weeks.

QR: \/\/hat the heck /\/\a/\/?

QR: \/\/hy do/\/'t you talk /\/\ore \/\/ith others?

IWS: -O-h, w-o-w, I d-o-n't kn-o-w.

IWS: It's n-o-t like I'm intr-o-verted -o-r anything.

QR: Sarca/\/\s is be/\/eith you, Fitera.

IWS: Actvally, it isn't.

IWS: Y-o-v sh-o-vld kn-o-w this, being an-o-vther p-o-et.

IWS: Bvt sarcasm is a very imp-o-rtant part -o-f writting.

QR: Did...

QR: Did you just call /\/\e a poet?

IWS: Yes.

IWS: Isn't rapping c-o-nsidered a f-o-rm -o-f p-o-etry?

QR: \/\/ell, yeah, but /\/o o/\/e's e\/er actually ac/\/olleged it.

IWS: Well, that's dvmb if y-o-v ask me.

IWS: H-o-w's the timer g-o-ing by the way?

QR: Oh, tha/\/k you!

QR: I /\/early forgot.

You look up from the computer and check the Lotus timer. It's only got about a minute and a half left. Have you seriously been talking for... yeah it was only about six minutes before you started, and typing this much takes a lot of time.

QR: I'\/e got about a /\/\i/\/ute u/\/til it ope/\/s.

IWS: Really?

IWS: Have we seri-o-vsly been talking f-o-r talking f-o-r that l-o-ng?

IWS: Actvally...

IWS: Yeah, we've talking f-o-r a while.

QR: A/\/d typi/\/g does take a \/\/hile.

IWS: Indeed.

IWS: Tell me what it is when it -o-pens if y-o-v d-o-n't mind.

QR: Sure thi/\/g, Fitera.

QR: ...

QR: Still got a /\/\i/\/ute.

IWS: Alright.

IWS: Actvally, this gives me an -o-ppertvnity t-o- ask y-o-v.

IWS: Did y-o-v ask Firyvt t-o- be Kismesis's?

QR: /\/ot...

QR: Exactly.

IWS: Explain please.

QR: I si/\/\ply ack/\/owledged that \/\/e ha\/e a /\/u/\/\ber of...

QR: Black-esque i/\/teractio/\/s.

QR: So, I brought it up a/\/d she has/\/'t gi\/e/\/ /\/\e a/\/ actual a/\/s\/\/er or respo/\/se.

IWS: -O-k then.

IWS: Y-o-v d-o- kn-o-w that if y-o-v d-o- actvally ask her, I will strangle y-o-v with my fishing p-o-le.

IWS: Becavse she is far t-o-o- y-o-vng f-o-r a black relati-o-nship.

IWS: And if y-o-v make her gr-o-w vp faster than she is.

IWS: And if y-o-v hvrt her in any way, even that acceptable by Kismesis's standards.

IWS: It will c-o-me back t-o- bite y-o-v in the ass.

IWS: By my -o-wn hands.

QR: ...

QR: Holy shit.

QR: \/\/as I just threatened?

IWS: N-o-.

IWS: Y-o-v were pr-o-mised.

QR: Oh...

QR: Hey, gi\/e /\/\e a seco/\/d.

QR: It's al/\/\ost ope/\/

IWS: Alright.

== Cavdit: Watch the flower bloom

You sit and watch the final seconds count to zero as the giant flower starts to open. Once it finally blooms, what lands on the pad is a... Capturecard. You walk onto the pad and pick it up to examine and see there is a small black and white sphere thing in it. That's not the weirdest thing about the card though. You turn it over and see it is from a Ciruit Modus. Your Circuit Modus to be exact. There's no name of what the item is, there's no indicator of how it's important, there's on a spiky ball that looks like ying-yang symbol. Thing looks like a freaking tumor.

QR: I thi/\/k it's a tu/\/\or?

IWS: Excuse me?

IWS: H-o-e can it be a tvm-o-r.

QR: /\/o /\/o /\/o.

QR: Tu/\/\or.

IWS: Are y-o-v seri-o-vsly naming it.

QR: It ca/\/\e out of /\/\y Lotus Pad!

QR: It's i/\/ /\/\y /\/\odus!

IWS: Excvse me?

QR: Yes, appare/\/tly The Tu/\/\or is in a Ciruit /\/\odus.

IWS: Cavdit.

QR: Fitera.

IWS: Are y-o-v thinging what I'm thinking?

QR: I do/\/'t get e/\/ough recog/\/itio/\/ for /\/\y totally bitchi/\/' /\/\usical skills?

IWS: Well, n-o-.

IWS: Y-o-v sh-o-vld t-o-tally -o-pen that shit!

QR: Da/\/g, Fitera.

QR: Did you just cuss?

IWS: I haven't slept in alm-o-st twenty-seven h-o-vrs, I'm n-o-t exactly in my right think pan.

QR: Right.

QR: Alright, gi\/e /\/\e a /\/\o/\/\e/\/t please.

== Cavdit: T-o-tally -o-pen that shit

You flip over the card and-oh... ooook, what in the actual fuck. This is a confusing ciruit. You are going to have to take minute to try and figure this out. What the heck? You've never even seen that colored wire in this Modus. Why does that one split into two? What? Yeah, you're going to have to take some time for this one.

QR: I ca/\/'t.

IWS: What n-o-w?

QR: This thi/\/g is co/\/fusi/\/g as shit.

QR: Like...

QR: The actual fuck is this circuit?

QR: Just looki/\/g at this thi/\/g gi\/es /\/\e a headache.

IWS: Well, y-o-v'll figvre it -o-vt.

IWS: If it's f-o-r the game I'm svre it'll be imp-o-rtant when it bec-o-mes...

IWS: Imp-o-rtant...

IWS: T-o- the pl-o-t.

QR: You had so/\/\ething cle\/er but forgot, did/\/'t you?

IWS: N-o-.

IWS: Maybe.

IWS: I haven't slept in -o-ver a day, leave me al-o-ne.

IWS: I'm g-o-nna g-o- find my Lvsvs, he needs s-o-me medicine.

QR: Alright.

QR: You do that, I'll get back to you later.

QR: I'll tell you if I ope/\/ this stupid thi/\/g.

IWS: Nice.

IWS: Ta-ta, my friend.

QR: Oh, \/\/ait.

QR: Get so/\/\e sleep /\/\a/\/.

IWS: Yeah, yeah, I will.

QR: I'/\/\ serious dude.

IWS: S-o- am I.

QR: Alright, later the/\/.

IWS: Ta-ta again.

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has ceased trolling quadriclopsRapper [QR]

But seriously, why is this thing so complicated? The Tu/\/\or is just a spiky ball, how can it be that freaking important that it adds so much crap to your Modus? It's probably nothing.


	16. Chapter 16: Planning with the Future

== Twins: Be relevant again

Now, that's a rude way to bring these two back into the story. Try it again, nicely. We have to be polite if we're taking the focus away from the point in the story people actually want to read.

== Narrator: Go fuck yourself

No need to be a dick about it. I am the goddamn narrator and I deserve some respect in this place! Every day, it's like I'm the freaking Meg of this studio. I'm just as important as you! Hell, moreso!

== Narrator: Shut the fuck up and ready the story

You know, you don't get paid extra for being an asshole, right? That seems like a thing you should know. Now are you going to be nice, or are we cutting this chapter short until you do? Wha-hey, where are you going? Dude. Dude, you can't just leave like this! You can't leave me with this and expect me to do everything! Alex? Alex! Uhh... Ok, I guess I'm doing this by myself this week.

After being away for so long, you are now once again the twins, Ridams and Yttrim. Ridams is currently reading into his book of Eldritch stories and historia, and Yttrim is writing down their next few DnD sessions, despite the two not finishing the past twelve she's made. So far, she's gotten no where but still pushes on. Ridams, on the other hand, was getting to one of the points that fascinated him the most: Grimdark possession. Now, let's pick one to focus on... Yttrim, she's a fan favorite! Right? Oh right, he left... dammit, I'm so lonely.

You are now the female of the twins, Yttrim. Much against Ridams advice, you are currently writing a new session of DnD. Like usual, it follows your normal storyline. You shall start at the entrance of a large forest filled with... let's say just a few monsters, maybe just four or five, to get you going. It has to have a scripted moment here for suspense and actions sake. Ok, something scripted and actiony... Bandit camp found at the base of a giant, hollow tree. That's good place to start! At least, that's what you thought until Ridams looks over and scoffs, obviously annoyed with you doing something with absolutely no point.

Ridams: seriiouslly?

Ridams: bandiitt camps

Ridams: iitts lliike you dontt even ttry anymore

Yttrim: Wha-?

Yttrim: Of course I do!

Yttrim: I jus- can'- s-ar- -ese very well.

Ridams: you know

Ridams: maybe we shoulld work on fiiniishiing tthe sessiions we allready have

Ridams: and nott work on a new one we botth know wellll never do

Yttrim: Hey, a- leas- I'm doing some-hing.

Ridams: iim doiing sometthiing

Yttrim: You're reading a s-upid book on Grimdark s-uff.

Ridams: iitts calllled

Ridams: elldriittch hiisttory and lledgends!

Ridams: haviing readiing tthese ffor who knows how many sweeps

Ridams: iid assume youd care enough tto remember whatt iitts calllled

Yttrim: You're dyslexic!

Yttrim: You don'- even know wha- -he damn -hing says!

Ridams: yes ii do and no iim nott!

Ridams: ii am onlly slliighttlly readiing iimpared tthank you very much

Ridams: diipshiitt

Yttrim: Oh, really now?

Yttrim: -hen please, wha- does -his sen-ence say?

You point to a small part of a paragraph and wait. Ridams squints and reads, before slowly speakng the line.

Ridams: ' _Wiitth tthe riise off tthe dou off dark and lliightt, shallll alltter tthe siides off eiitther good or eviill. Whiille one shallll sttand, tthe otthe shallll ffallll, lleadiing tto tthe end no matttter whatt.'_

You look down and... holy shit, he was right. Rise of dark and light, good or evil will fall, end no matter what. Maybe he wasn't as dyslexic as you thought? No, this is different from his normal reading... He'd butcher that horribly if he was reading normally. Maybe you should look more into these Grimdark whatevers.

Yttrim: How did you...

Ridams: ii ttolld you ii wasntt dysllexiic

Yttrim: ...Well, ok, I suppose I owe you an apology.

Yttrim: I'm sorry abou- -ha-.

Ridams: damn riightt you are

Ridams: now gett back tto your

Ridams: acttualllly no

Ridams: do sometthiing besiides sometthing wellll never do ok?

You groan and turn back to your session. You don't want to admit it, but he was right. You two are never going to do anything with this, and honestly a little preparation never killed anyone. And what better way to prepare than talk to someone that's already in the midst of the shit! You take out and roll the D-20 Modus to obtain your husktop. Unfortunately, instead of the husktop you got your mobile game device. Not exactly what you needed, but what the hell might as well keep it out.

Ridams: good job tthere

Yttrim: Shu- up.

You take out the D-20 and roll again, getting lucky this time and obtaining your husktop. Twice is good enough for you. Now, let's see here... who would be in the game right now? Let's see, Jazz was the first one to go in, so obviously she's in right now. Maybe Saylen? Those two are pretty fast with this stuff. Mistuo? No, no, even you won't jump to that so fast. If anything he's asleep, writing, or watching a movie. Maybe poetry. He has some pretty nice poetry for a recluse. Would Vlad be a good choice? I mean, Firyut did say he was going last, but he's smart. So, Jazz would most likely be the best choice to talk to about this. At least, she would if someone else wasn't already contacting you. Who is this? historicalDefender? Cool name, but not someone you know. Might as well.

historicalDefender [HD] has begun pestering hospitbleSecondary [HS]

HS: Uh, hello?

HD: DO NOT

HD: FOR FUCKS SAKE

HD: LET RIDAMS

HD: READ THAT FUCKING BOOK!

HD: sorry about that.

HS: Wai-, wha- now?

HS: Who are you?

HD: future Jazz.

HS: Alrigh- -hen.

HS: I'm jus- gonna say I believe -ha-.

HS: Despi-e how comple-ely idio-ic i- sounds.

HS: Wha- abou- Ridams no- reading his book?

HD: believe me, it will fuck everything.

HD: and fuck it up horribly.

HD: hell, don't even let him have it.

HD: in the vicinity of it.

HD: just get rid of it.

HS: Ok, any-hing else?

HD: toss your candy.

HS: Nope.

HD: wait what now?

HS: Don'- care, no- -ossing -he candy.

HD: you are aware i'm giving you advice on how not to fuck everything over, right?

HS: I'm no- -elling you -o -oss -ha- s-upid anime crap, am I?

HS: And I'm no- going -o -ss some-hing I like.

HD: holy shit, every version of you is extremely stubborn.

HS: Mus- be a his-orical cons-an-.

HD: well, more universal constant

HS: How so?

HS: Wai-, le- me guess!

HS: You're from -he fu-ure, bu- a fu-ure of a differen- universe where -hings happened differen-ly?

HD: uh, yeah

HD: how'd you know?

HS: Well, every-hing was kinda already -here?

HS: I don'- know, a guess!

HD: and a smart ass.

HD: ah, this is why i hate you.

HS: Excuse me?

HD: infinite timelines, got black with you

HD: your me probably won't but who knows.

HS: I'll keep my eye for any-hing black.

HS: Hey, you mind helping me ac-ually?

HS: How can I prepare for wha- I'm abou- -o go in-o?

HD: get ready for a lot of confusing ass shit.

HD: also, get some stuff ready to combine.

HD: weapons, computer, something to climb to the gates, just a lot of stuff really

HD: maybe a new outfit.

HS: Alrigh- -hen.

HS: Wha- kind of weapons?

HD: i don't know, something that can kill faster than your sword!

HD: or something cooler looking.

HD: whatever you prefer of course.

HS: Huh, nea-o.

HS: Any-hing else?

HD: just one thing.

HD: do not

HD: let Ridams

HD: continue READING THAT FUCKING BOOK!

HD: ah shit

HD: fuck i have to go

HD: remember what i said!

historicalDefender [HD] has ceased pestering hospitibleSecondary [HS]

Well, that was... something. Something actually a little important really. But, that isn't top priotiy of the moment. You look over at your twin and his book. He catches you looking and turns to you, lowering the book.

Ridams: whatt?

You don't say anything but look at the book. You just reach over and slap it out of his hand, which was pretty easy for you. Thankfully, Ridams got the non-dominant hand of the body so hitting the book took literally nothing. He jumps and looks down, obviously getting a little irritated.

Yttrim: Yeah, don'- read -ha- anymore.

Yttrim: Sorry, bu- seriously.

Yttrim: Don'-.

Ridams doesn't even acknowledge you. Instead, he leans down and picks up the book and sits back up.

Ridams: allriightt, expllaiin

Ridams: now

Yttrim: I kinda jus- -alked -o Jazz-

Ridams: oh dear gog

Yttrim: Bu-

Ridams: oh greatt ttheres a butt

Yttrim: Bu- she was like a fu-ure version or al-erna-e universe version?

Yttrim: Ei-her way, she -old me -o make sure you don'- read -ha- book.

Yttrim: And for me -o -oss my candy.

Ridams: and are you goiing tto do tthatt?

Yttrim: Uhh...

Ridams: so iim nott ttossiing my book

Yttrim: Bu- Jazz said i- fucks up shi- in -he fu-ure!

Ridams: apparenttlly so does your candy butt you arentt gettttiing riid of tthatt are you?

Yttrim: ...Ok, look, we'll figure i- ou-.

Yttrim: Jus-, no- for -he -ime being, ok?

Ridams: oh my gog you arentt goiing tto shutt up aboutt iitt are you?

Yttrin: Probably no-.

Ridams: ugh ffiine

Ridams: iillll putt iitt down unttiill we entter tthe game

Ridams: allriightt?

Yttrim: -ha- ac-ually sounds like a -errible idea, bu- fine.

Yttrim: Al-hough, I'm pre-y sure -he game has some-hing -o do wi-h -he shi- going bad wi-h our s-uff.

Ridams: yeah wellll shutt up

RIdams: whatt now siince ii dontt have my fuckiing book?

Yttrim: ...We have our sessions we never finished?

Ridams: oh yeah

Ridams: sure whatt tthe hellll

== Twins: Return to your DnD session

Oh shit, Alex! You're back. I was _hoping_ you'd come back.

== Narrator: Shut the hell up and read the script

Sorry, right. *Ahem* The two of you return to your large table and sit down, picking up where you left off. Set up on each end of the table as best you could you take your players, the Rogue for Ridams and Knight for Yttrim. Wow, that's the worst case of subtle foreshadowing I've ever seen. Why not just tell everyone their Aspects too? Wait, what? Might as well? Holy shit, no! I don't care, my pay sucks anyways, I'm not just giving that out until it actually comes into play, ok? Christ. Ok, you know what? This has just been an annoying endeavor, I'm calling today. Sorry everybody. I hate talking chapters anyway, this goes for another thirty lines. Next week better be a super narrative chapter or I will burn this place to the ground. Wait, it's still on?


	17. Chapter 17: Quick Fishing

Alright, I'm good now, I'm good. Just needed a breather, last week was annoying for me. Everyone here, just bad week, we're sorry. Everything's good now, all cool. Ok, let's start this off with a new look! Who we got this week? Vlad? Firyut?

== Be Mistuo

Ah, yes! My favorite out of all these fuckers! It's been a good minute, hasn't it? What? We're on a time crunch this time? What the hell, you were just going to let me go on like that? Ok, let me get back into it. *Ahem* You are once again the Moss-blooded Fitera and you are currently looking around your hive for your Lusus. As per usual with her when she gets sick, she is hiding about somewhere. You know she has a few normal hiding spots around here so where else to look? After you look around for a bit you find her curled up in the actually very large closet under the main staircase. Why this isn't the first place you looked, you don't know. You walk over and smile down at the Hexipedal Fox Lusus before sitting down besides her. With a little look over she seems worse than usual. It makes sense considering how old she is. She's extremely elderly, especially for a Moss-blooded Lusus.

== Mistuo: Fetch the medicine

You go into your Fishing Modus and equip your fishing pole. Great conveniece that your Modus also requires your Strife Specibus. It's a decently easy Modus, working like one of those old magnetic fishing toys. You know what I'm talking about, right? I can't remmeber what it's called and I don't care enough to look it up. You only take a second to bring up your experimental medicine that should work for Lusii.

== Mistuo: Give it to your Lusus

You open up the fairly rudementary container and grab out a couple of pill capsules. Perhaps now would be the precise time for you to use your, honestly, only nateble skill and talk to her.

Mistuo: Alright, -o-pen vp.

Mistuo: This is g-o-nna be pretty gr-o-ss bvt it's f-o-r y-o-vr -o-wn g-o-o-d.

Foxmom: Oh, be quiet child.

Foxmom: My time is near, as is yours...

Mistuo: N-o-, it's n-o-t.

Mistuo: Y-o-v're jvst a little -o-ff minded becavse -o-f the fever.

Mistuo: These sh-o-vld help, jvst -o-pen.

Foxmom: Heh... stubborn as always.

Foxmom: No, I am quite certain.

Foxmom: I have lived my life and cared for Troll after Troll, I know when the inevitable is coming.

Foxmom: What you are doing now is pointless.

Mistuo: F-o-xm-o-m, d-o-n't say things like that.

Mistuo: Please, I want t-o- help y-o-v.

Foxmom: Sigh... you've always wanted to, ever since you were a wriggler.

Foxmom: Alright, I'll take it.

Mistuo: Thank y-o-v, this will bring y-o-v back t-o- y-o-vr right thinkpan.

You smile at your Fox Lusii's agreement and put the pills down near her mouth. She takes them in her mouth and swallows them, giving a grimace at their taste. You did say they were pretty bad in taste.

Mistuo: There we g-o-, n-o-w y-o-v sh-o-vld get better.

Foxmom: No, child... I'm affraid even this can't help me.

Mistuo: Please, F-o-xm-o-m, I asked t-o- st-o-p saying these things.

Mistuo: I've seen y-o-v thr-o-vgh w-o-rse than this.

Foxmom: I know Mistuo, and I am greatful.

Foxmom: But we both know I've spent quite a few sweeps on this Alternia and I'm rather older than others of my kind.

Mistuo: I kn-o-w, and that jvst sh-o-ws h-o-mvch str-o-nger y-o-v are than whatever y-o-v have right n-o-w!

Foxmom: You've always been an optimist child.

Foxmom: But we both know, deep inside, my time has come.

Mistuo: F-o-xm-o-m, y-o-vr time hasn't c-o-me yet!

Mistuo: Y-o-v've been saying that everytime y-o-v get sick like this, and everytime y-o-v end vp -o-kay.

Mistuo: Why, pray tell, w-o-vld this be different?

Foxmom: Because, we both know what you're ding with your friends.

Foxmom: That game... that game will be my end no matter what you do.

Mistuo: What?

Mistuo: H-o-w d-o- y-o-v kn-o-w ab-o-vt the game?

Foxmom: We guardians all know about what this game is...

Foxmom: It is an experience, one that only those meant to play can be part of.

Foxmom: I, and all your friends guardians, are to die for the game to continue.

Mistuo: Wh-o-a, h-o-ld vp a sec-o-nd!

Mistuo: We can't play, vnless all -o-f y-o-v die?

Foxmom: Heh... I suppose in the most basic form.

Foxmom: Yes, we cannot live if you play this game.

Foxmom: But that is not important, what is is that you have finally grown to not need me.

Foxmom: You've been like that for a long time, really.

Foxmom: We just weren't allowed to leave until you began your game.

Mistuo: Wait, I can jvst n-o-t play it!

Mistuo: I'll jvst call Saylen and Jazz and every-o-ne else and and...

Foxmom: Mistuo, you're panicking again.

Mistuo: I'm s-o-rry, I jvst need t-o- think f-o-r a sec-o-nd.

Foxmom: There's not much for you to do.

Foxmom: It's been a part of the game's history for as long as it's existed.

Foxmom: If you have the copy, you cannot get out of it.

Foxmom: Now, please... I'm tired.

Foxmom: Go play your game, do everything the game wants you to.

Mistuo: Wait, wait, I have -o-ne m-o-re qvesti-o-n!

Mistuo: I'll st-o-p f-o-r n-o-w, bvt jvst -o-ne m-o-re.

Foxmom: Always looking for a little more than you have.

Foxmom: What is it?

Mistuo: Y-o-v said 'my time as well'.

Mistuo: What d-o-es that mean?

Foxmom: Oh Mistuo...

Foxmom: Just promise me you'll be very careful while you play.

Mistuo: That d-o-esn't tell me anything!

Foxmom: It's alright, you'll know when it happens.

Foxmom: Now, please, I am very, very tired.

Mistuo: -O-h... alright.

Mistuo: Y-o-v'll make it thr-o-vgh this, and n-o- game will say -o-therwise.

== Mistuo: Return to your activities

You give your Lusus a few pets before you stand up and exit the closet. Hell, hearing all of this you don't really want to leave. You kind of just want to go back in, lay down with Foxmom, and not play the game at all. Now that you think about it, a couple of weird things have been going on since that game came into play. First, your Lusus got sicker than she has before. Then, Cavdit says he gets some weird ass Tu/\/\or thing from that Lotus pad. To finish the whole thing off, you've finally got to see both of the humans. Sure that last thing isn't all that weird, but it seems almost off to be honest. The live on a planet literally on the opposite side of the universe, so there's no way they can make an accurate facetime with you. The signal will take thousands of years just to get halfway! Ugh, now you have a headache. That may just be from not sleeping in over a day and watching several movies in a row in a dark room with no breaks, but still. Headaches suck. Maybe a little food could help.

== Mistuo: Go get some actual food

Considering that your kitchen was empty of almost everything when you checked earlier, there's really only one thing to do. You go over to the window and look outside. Still decently dark, you could catch a few fish. You open the doors and go outside, taking your normal trail to the literally collosal river down the hill. That is, until you notice something off to the side. The side that is going towards the ocean... and Saylen's hive... Against your better judgement, you turn to look and see something kind of weird. First off, the tower you can always see over the hill is not there, which is rare. Secondly, there is some kind of fading red glow in the sky. Finally, there was a fucking meteor falling right over where her hive is supposed to be! Make that a fourth thing weird that's happened since the game came into play! You know what, you've been through enough for tonight. Yourself first in this one situation.

== Mistuo: Go fish

You go down to the riverside and sit down, taking out your Specibus. Thank goodness you made your weapon the one thing you use more than anything else in your daily life. See? You work smarter, not harder! You hook on your bait and throw it out into the water, leaning back against a tree. With very little movement from the water and yourself, you watch as your line is slowly draw down stream towards the ocean. The ocean, and Saylen's missing hive. No, no, you are keeping this out of your mind for the time being until you can talk to her. :ife's been a bitch, and you will relaxe. By catching your first fish of the night! You stand up and start reeling in, pulling the pole up and launching the fish right out of the river! You reach up and grab the fish midair, giving it a small squeeze and snapping it's spine. You card it and throw out the line again, sitting in the same spot.

== Mistuo: Skip ahead some time

After a good, I dunno, let's say twenty minutes you have a decently good amount of fish stored up in your Modus. You feel you've done a good enough job for today and stand up, grabbing your pole and starting back up to your hive. Why you made it at the very top of a giant ass hill, you don't remember, but it's always good incase there's a flood. And knowing that there is literally a giant dam less than a mile away, that's often. Well... actually, no there isn't anymore, is there? You make your way all the way back to the top of the hill and the to the door of your hive. You look out to the ocean and... yeah, you were right. It's gone. Guess you couldn't put this off forever. Have to ask eventually. But, you can postpone it for a time so you can eat! You open the door and go into the kitchen, fishing and setting out the fish.

== Mistuo: Make the fish

And now... the worst part of having to make food out of living animals. Cleaning and gutting. Curse your weak stomach! You go into your Modus and fish out the hooked knife for stripping this things scales off. You breath in and bring the curved end to the fish.

Mistuo: -O-k.

Mistuo: Y-o-v can d-o- this...

Mistuo: Cvrse my weak st-o-mach...

You move the hooked blade into the skin and peel back, sliding the outer layer off. Along with this, a small amount of bloods starts pouring out of the main cut. Oh, yeah, that is actually a decent bit of blue. You fight your way through it and skin the entire thing, as well as the others. it's bad, because this is the easy part and you can barely handle it. You decide that is a decent place to stop for the moment, just to let your stomach settle. Because, damn, it needs to settle pretty bad.

== Mistuo: Do something to settle your stomach

You step away from the table for the moment and wander back into your respiteblock and sit at your desk. You look over at your husktop and enter into Trollian. Might as well do what you said beforehand. Hmm, seems like Saylen is busy. Or at least, not on right now. Maybe Jazzmine? What the heck, she seems nice.

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has began trolling trainingInformant [TI]

IWS: Greeting, Jazzmine!

TI: Mistuo!

TI: sup green boy?

IWS: Well, as y-o-v pr-o-bably remember, I am entering the game next.

IWS: I was simply w-o-ndering what t-o- be expecting when I d-o-?

TI: oh, christ, ok then.

TI: first thing you should know.

TI: you are going to completely blow up part of the planet.

* * *

 _A/n: About the Alex thing, one of my friends-Alex-that help with this was pissed and decided to ditch. I was about to bash him a lot more, but he came back and I couldn't be mad at him._


	18. Misto: Enter

== Saylen: Figure out what to do

Saylen: a[right, s(o) i'm in

Saylen: Jazzy's in

Saylen: and y(o)u're here

Future!Saylen: thanks f(o)r the recap, mini me.

Future!Saylen: g(o)(o)d thing Time p[ayers understand the (o)rder (o)f events things happen

Saylen: n(o), i mean

Saylen: what n(o)w?

Jazz: well, if what Firyut signed was accurate-

Future!Saylen: wait a sec

Future!Saylen: signed?

Jazz: yeah... she's deaf.

Future!Saylen: huh...

Future!Saylen: she wasn't in my time[ine

Saylen: yeah, we[[, she is

Saylen: n(o)w what Jazzy?

Jazz: if what Firyut signed was accurate,

Jazz: that means you have to put in Mister Misty.

Saylen: Mister Misty?

Jazz: yes, shut up.

Jazz: you have to put him into the game next.

Jazz: before the, uh, y'know.

Saylen: mete(o)rs?

Future!Saylen: inevitable death?

Saylen: intr(o)verted whining?

Future!Saylen: m(o)irail crying?

Jazz: both of you shut up!

Jazz: and, yes.

Jazz: so...

Jazz: put him in the game, he's one of the few of y'all i like

Saylen: right!

Saylen: g(o)tta save the b(o)(o)kw(o)rm.

Future!Saylen: n(o)t just cause he's a b(o)(o)kw(o)rm, either.

Future!Saylen: he is he[[a imp(o)rtant.

Saylen: a[right, i'[[ get t(o) it.

Saylen: sh(o)u[d i get him (o)n this (o)r...?

Jazz: oh shit!

Saylen: geez, what?

Jazz: i've had him on hold for like fifteen minutes!

Jazz: give me a second!

You wait as Jazz switches off the chat on her end before entering again, followed by Mistuo.

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has entered the chat

Mistuo: Greetings Saylen, and...

Mistuo: -O-ther... Saylen.

Mistuo: H-o-ly crap, Saylen, I think y-o-v were right.

Mistuo: I d-o- need t-o- sleep m-o-re.

Saylen: n(o), n(o), this is actua[[y an(o)ther me.

Future!Saylen: hi!

Saylen: she's fr(o)m the future and apparent[y ann(o)ying as fuck

Mistuo: Ah, -o-k.

Mistuo: What can I be -o-f assitance t-o-?

Saylen: we're ab(o)ut t(o) put y(o)u int(o) the game.

Saylen: s(o) we're g(o)nna talk y(o)u thr(o)ugh it.

Mistuo: -O-h, dang it.

Mistuo: I was jvst ab-o-vt t-o- eat.

Jazz: Mistuo, be quiet

Jazz: you were about to throw up from cleaning the fish and you know it

Mistuo: Be qviet please.

Mistuo: Jvst tell me what t-o- d-o-.

Saylen: a[right, [et's d(o) this shit.

== Saylen: Be Mistuo

Oh, wow, first character switch mid-chapter! You are now Mistuo, currently waiting for instructions from Saylen and Jazz. So far, they have told you nothing aside they're going to put you into a game that supposidly kills everything. You should really start reconsidering doing what people tell you to.

Mistuo: Alright, I pvt the game int-o- the drive.

Mistuo: N-o-w what?

Saylen: n(o)w, i put in my game t(o) put y(o)u in.

Saylen: and y(o)u may wanna m(o)ve quick[y.

Saylen: mete(o)rs and a[[ that.

Jazz: also, Saylen told me one of her screw ups when she entered.

Jazz: you put the card into the Punch Designex first and then Alchemize it.

Mistuo: N-o- idea what any -o-f th-o-se w-o-rds mean.

Mistuo: Alright, let's d-o- this!

Jazz: man, i just love the cut of your jib!

Jazz: let's do this shit!

From off the screen you hear someone yelling.

Cuz: Jazz!

Cuz: Why the hell are you screaming?

Jazz: nothing Cuz!

Jazz: just putting someone else in the game!

Cuz: Is it that Saylen chick?

Saylen: i'm here, but it's n(o)t me!

Cuz: Oh, alright then!

Cuz: Can I see them?

Jazz: uh, one second!

Mistuo: Wh-o- is that?

Jazz: that's my cousin.

Jazz: she wants to see you for some reason.

Mistuo: -O-h...

Mistuo: Vhh, I... gvess s-o-.

Jazz: hey Cuz!

Jazz: he said yeah!

Saylen: ah, Mist(o)u, Cuz is awes(o)me, y(o)u're g(o)nna [(o)ve her

The person that everyone is calling 'Cuz' then steps into the frame.

Cuz: Oh, shit, another Troll.

Cuz: Sup fox horns?

Mistuo: Vh, hi...

Cuz: Quiet type, huh?

Cuz: It's cool, I can respect that.

Cuz: Got a name, fox horns?

Mistuo: -O-h, vhh, Mistv-o-.

Cuz: Mistuo?

Cuz: Damn, do all Trolls have weird names?

Saylen: hey!

Saylen: i'm right here!

Future!Saylen: yeah, we kinda d(o).

Saylen: shut up me!

Future!Saylen: y(o)u shut up, me!

Future!Saylen: besides, i have t(o) shut up, i have t(o) make ca[[.

Cuz: Both of you shut up!

Cuz: I don't care about your call!

Cuz: Leave if you're making a call, don't stay and annoy people.

Future!Saylen: a[right, a[right, i'm [eaving.

Future!Saylen: damn, humans be impatient.

Cuz: Anyways...

Cuz: It's a cool name, but it's still stupid, sorry.

Cuz: I'ma call you Fox Horns from now on.

Cuz: Well, Fox Horns, nice to meet ya!

Mistuo: Vhh, yeah, y-o-v t-o-o-.

Mistuo: S-o-, vhh, Jazzmyne?

Jazz: yo.

Mistuo: Are, vh, are we g-o-ing t-o-, y'kn-o-w, d-o- this..?

Saylen: w(o)ah, s[(o)w d(o)wn there speed racer.

Saylen: if i g(o)t this right, a mete(o)r is n(o)w heading t(o)wards y(o)ur [(o)cati(o)n!

Mistuo: Wait, what?

You are interupted by a sudden explosion outside your hive, and a sliver of red light coming from your window. Oh, you swear, if there is a meteor above your hive right now, you are going to... do something, you're not sure yet.

== Mistuo: Look outside

You go to the window, pull back the curtains, and look up to see... yep, you called it. A giant freaking meteor! In a sky of red and orange, fire everywhere, and smaller meteors flying off of it and hitting the area around you. This is why you watch movies and don't play video games.

Saylen: y(o), F(o)x H(o)rns!

Saylen: y(o)u sti[[ a[ive?

Mistuo: What?

Mistuo: -O-h, yes I am.

Future!Saylen: (o)k i'm back.

Saylen: shut up.

Mistuo: What d-o- I d-o- t-o- prevent my death?

Saylen: i am putting the Crux-s(o)mething an(o)ther in y(o)ur main r(o)(o)m.

Mistuo: Alright, and that is?

Saylen: y(o)u break it (o)pen t(o) get a seizure ba[[ thing and [itt[e cy[inder thing.

Mistuo: Seizvre ball?

Saylen: Sprite, whatever!

Saylen: y(o)u have t(o) thr(o)w s(o)mething int(o) it.

Mistuo: Alright, and the cylinder?

Saylen: y(o)u put that int(o) the T(o)tem [athe with the card that c(o)mes with it.

Mistuo: And then?

Saylen: put the new t(o)tem (o)n a pedista[ in the A[chemiter.

Saylen: then y(o)u'[[ get a thing t(o) enter the game and n(o)t die!

Mistuo: G-o-t it.

Mistuo: Anything else?

Jazz: oh, oh!

Jazz: have something cool to prototype it with!

Jazz: it alters the look and powers of the Imps!

Mistuo: N-o- idea what th-o-se are, bvt alright.

Saylen: every(o)ne ready?

Future!Saylen: yes!

Future!Saylen: n(o)w d(o) this bef(o)re g(o)gdamn tank dies!

Mistuo: Tank?

Before anyone can answer, there is a small thud in your main room. You rush in and see a large box structure with a pillar in the middle with a turny thing on the side. You go up and grab it, turn it, and almost break your arms with all the force you put behind it. Holy shit, this thing is strong! Perhaps something could be used for it... Aha! You fishing pole! Wait, his fishing pole? No, I don't read these ahead of time. Because I like learning this as it happens. Geez... What? Seriously? We have got to start turning this damn thing off when I go off on stupid shit! *Ahem* You pull out your pole and tie the hook and line around the turny thing. You then go to the wall of the room, opposite of where the hook is tied. You start reeling it in and notice the turny thing is moving. Ah, physics. Thou art a pain in the ass to learn, but you are useful. You give it one more tug and the top of the pillar pops off. From the pillar comes a large flashing ball of moss-colored light and a moss-colored cylinder and a card with holes in it.

== Mistuo: Take the cylinder

You step onto the machine and grab the green pillar and card, the seizure ball being annoying right next to you. Wow, that flashing is definitely good for your headache. What did she say, toss something in it? You look around and eye one of your posters. If those 'Imps' or whatever Jazz called them copies the Sprite, it isn't the best idea but hey, it'll be fun. You jump off the Cruxtruder and take down our Friday the 13th poster and roll it up. You turn around and go back to the Sprite, tossing the poster into it. There is a blinding green flash that almost forces you to cover your eyes. When you look back you see a moss-colored hockey mask with a machete behind it. Damn, that is cool! You guess that means there's going to be homicidal Imps running around with large blades now... future yous problem. While thinking this, there is another thud next to you. It looks like a big table with a needle thing on it between two clamps, the perfect distance for a cylinder to go. There is also a small hole that looks like the perfect place for the card. Man, can two and two go any more together?

== Mistuo: Do the thing with the totem and card

You put in the cylinder into the clamps and card into the slot. You press a big red button, because that's always a good idea, and the needle starts carving the totem. You take the new totem and are interupted with another thud. This time, a really bigger thud on the other side of the room. Must be the Alchemiter, big platform thing with a small pedistal. How straightforward can this game get? You walk over and put the totem onto the pedistal. Now, they did say something about a button that should be... right there! You push the button and the totem is scanned, leading to another flash on the platform. You step onto the platform and grab the green-colored... bowl? No, it's translucent. It's a fishbowl! With an actual fish in it! There's some kind of writing on the bottom of it..."With a bowl apart and fish met with death, the life of marine shall save the Bard of Breath" That is very horribly worded and it makes zero sense. What, uh... what are you supposed to do with this? To the people that are actually playing this already!

== Mistuo: Return to the others

You go back into your respiteblock and husktop. It seems they are in the middle of a conversation. Would it be rude to intervene even though this is a life or death situation? You know what, you're going to intervene.

Saylen: s(o), y(o)u d(o)n't have anything d(o)wn there?

Jazz: nope, it's just like...

Cuz: A hole, really, I guess?

Jazz: yeah, like a slit or hole.

Jazz: whatever you wanna call it.

Saylen: weird.

Saylen: y(o)u humans are weird.

Mistuo: Vhh, excvse me?

Jazz: oh shit.

Cuz: Sup, Fox Horns!

Saylen: the fuck are y(o)u d(o)ing, Mistu(o)!?

Saylen: why aren't y(o)u in yet?

Mistuo: I d-o-n't kn-o-w what t-o- d-o- with this thing.

Future!Saylen: it's a fishb(o)w[.

Future!Saylen: smash it.

Mistuo: Jvst...

Mistuo: Jvst smash it?

Jazz: that's what i did with my thing.

Saylen: and b(o)th (o)f me did.

Mistuo: Alright, s-o-, any specific way t-o- destr-o-y it?

Saylen: just break the m(o)therfucker!

== Mistuo: break the m(o)therfucker!

You step away from the husktop and raise the bowl above your head. With one quick throw downwards, the bowl smashes into exactly eight pieces. Well, more seven pieces, but one of those is pretty much already in half, but held together a little bit. Once all the pieces hit the floor, it emits a colossal blast of green light, completely blinding you once again.

== Mistuo: Enter

You open your eyes again and are, for some reason, extremely hot. You stand up and look around, seeing your Sprite now have a cognative body, being majorily snake like with the head being pretty much just the Jason mask. He... is pretty silent, and that makes sense, but this'll be boring. Perhaps you should try talking to him.

Mistuo: Excvse me, Sprite?

Jasonsprite: ...

Mistuo: ...

Jasonsprite: ...

Mistuo: -O-...k then.

Mistuo: Where the heck am I?

Jasonsprite: ...

The Sprite turns and looks over at the window, obviously trying to show you where to go. You follow his stare and walk to the window, opening it to see the new landscape. It was... hot. Like, the actual sight of the place was hot, burning your eyes. The entire land was covered in black ground, with colossal mountains with... lava coming out of them. That is lava. Those are volcanos. Strangely, the volcanos wasn't the thing that caught your attention the most. What did, was the sound of some kind of music. You couldn't make it out completely, but it was interupted by someone on the husktop.

Cuz: Hey, Fox Horns?

Cuz: You still alive?

Jazz: Mistuooooo!

Saylen: dude, the he[[ are y(o)u?

Future!Saylen: d(o) y(o)u guys hear music?

Mistuo: -O-h, yes!

Mistuo: I'm still alive!

Mistuo: And that is mvsic, bvt I can't tell what it is.

Cuz: It sounds annoying.

Jazz: and overused in south-eastern areas.

Saylen: i want t(o) punch wh(o)ever is making it.

Mistuo: Yeah... wait a sec-o-nd.

Mistuo: -O-h my G-o-g...

Jazz: what?

Mistuo: This...

Mistuo: This is...

Cuz: What?

Mistuo: I... kn-o-w what this it.

Cuz: Oh, yeah?

Mistuo: IT'S FVCKING C-O-VNTRY MVSIC!


	19. Chapter 19: Attack

== Mistuo: Get pissed right the hell off

Like you need a command to do that. You already are, because this world is producing freaking country music! Why this wasn't banned at the spawn of the universe, you don't know, but it is still here after you entered what could only be another universe! You will not stand for this. You swear, before you die, you will irradicate this genre. You almost go on a bigger rant but catch the sound of the others trying to talk to you.

Saylen: uh, Mistu(o)?

Saylen: what are y(o)u ta[king ab(o)ut?

Mistuo: Are y-o-v seri-o-vs?

Mistuo: D-o- y-o-v n-o-t hear that ab-o-minati-o-n -o-f mvsic?

Jazz: yeah, we do.

Jazz: it's just not country.

Mistuo: What?

Mistuo: Are y-o-v as deaf as Firyvt -o-r s-o-mething?

Jazz: no, it's just that isn't country music.

Jazz: it's jazz music.

Cuz: Oh, God, I hate jazz.

Cuz: No offense, Jazz.

Jazz: no, it's cool.

Jazz: i hate that stuff, too.

Saylen: what are a[[ (o)f y(o)u ta[king ab(o)ut?

Future!Saylen: it's his [and.

Future!Saylen: it p[ays each pers(o)ns m(o)st hated music.

Future!Saylen: that's why Jazz and Cuz hear jazz music.

Future!Saylen: Mistu(o) hears c(o)untry music.

Future!Saylen: and why y(o)u and i hear rap.

Saylen: i d(o)n't hear rap?

Future!Saylen: what?

Future!Saylen: (o)h, right, past.

Future!Saylen: y(o)u haven't had t(o) sit thr(o)ugh Cavdits s(o) ca[[ed c(o)ncerts.

Saylen: what?

Future!Saylen: n(o)thing.

Future!Saylen: what d(o) y(o)u hear?

Saylen: i hear c[asica[.

Mistuo: Everyb-o-dy shvt vp!

Mistuo: G-o-g, the mvsic is already making me want t-o- bl-o-w my thinkpan -o-vt!

Mistuo: I can't have y-o-v idi-o-ts d-o-ing that t-o-o-!

Mistuo: Vgh...

Mistuo: S-o-rry.

Mistuo: Headache and mvsic.

Mistuo: S-o-, n-o-w what?

Saylen: c(o)mbine shit!

Future!Saylen: yes, c(o)mbine shit.

Future!Saylen: (O)R, (o)r...

Future!Saylen: y(o)u c(o)u[d fight whatever this game thr(o)ws at y(o)u.

Future!Saylen: because i'm sure it has s(o)mething by n(o)w.

Saylen: shit, she's right.

Jazz: they're just Imps, he can take those like nothing!

Mistuo: Yeah, what are these 'Imps' anyways?

Saylen: we[[, y(o)u'[[ figure it (o)ut s(o)(o)n anyways.

== Mistuo: Get interupted

You are about to respond when you both hear and feel a large thud from outside. You step away from hthe desk for a minute and go to the window and look out. What you see is absolutely crazy. It is a large, pure black creature wielding a large machete. It's head looks like a little like an otterbeast but with two huge tusks coming out of the bottom of it. It's body was built like a fortress and it looked ready to murder something. Unfortunately, that something was you, because it started it's way towards you. You panic and quickly pull out your fishing pole to fight, even though you didn't really want to. Although, you felt something as it got closer. You could hear a very quiet shouting, coming in the direction of the beast even though it wasn't moving it's mouth at all. You couldn't really make it out that much, but you know what this means. It had an animalistic mind... just like a Lusus! Maybe you could...

== Mistuo: Try to communicate with the creature

You focus hard and try to think clearly, panicking on what to say to it.

Mistuo: Vh, h-hell-o-?

Mistuo: Creatvre?

?: H-Huh?

?: What is that?

Mistuo: Ah, yes, d-o-wn here!

Mistuo: Where y-o-v were ab-o-vt t-o- mvrder!

?: What?

?: How can you speak to me, puny creature?

Mistuo: Vh, it is a skill I h-o-ld.

Mistuo: I am able t-o- c-o-mmvnicate with anything that has an animalistic brain.

?: A... what?

Mistuo: Y-o-v have the intelligence -o-f a Lvsvs, sir.

?: Oh.

?: Well, enough of that.

?: Time to kill!

Mistuo: Wait, wait, wait!

Mistuo: A few m-o-re qvesti-o-ns please?

?: Uuugh...

?: Fine.

Mistuo: Thank y-o-v!

Mistuo: First -o-ff, what are y-o-v?

?: I am Ogre!

Ogre: I am sent from the Denizen to kill you heroes!

Mistuo: Ah, -o-k then.

Mistuo: I th-o-vght y-o-v were svpp-o-sed t-o- be an Imp?

Ogre: Yes, but I have special orders to come first.

Mistuo: Fr-o-m wh-o-, may I ask?

Ogre: The Denizen!

Ogre: She is controlled by the Dersite, Noir!

Mistuo: Alright, alright...

Mistuo: -O-ne m-o-re qvesti-o-n.

Mistuo: Where in the hell am I?

Ogre: You are in the Land of Music and Volcanos.

Ogre: Though it will be nothing now that I kill you!

The Ogre starts charging towards your hive, raising the machete. You obviously won't get anything out of this guy anymore, so it seems fighting is the only option. You run out your respiteblock, through your living room, and out the front door. You feel even hotter now that you are outside, getting the whole of the heat hitting you at once. You look over and see the Ogre had reached the side of the hive and struck your respiteblock with the blade, visibly shaking the entire hive. You start to run over and throw the line up at it, wrapping the line around it's tusk. With it in your grasp you pull it down, making it stumble and crash into a large river of burning lava. You're unsure if that did anything until you hear it screaming and then exploding into large... green hexagons? You aren't even going to try to understand this. There's also a small piece of paper in the collection of green things. You walk over and pick it to find a message on the back.

Note: Dear Little Green, if you are reading this, congrats! You killed the Ogre and are as strong as my tip had told me. I can not tell you who this tip is, only that she had given very strong advice to hit you with everything as soon as possible. So get ready, Little Green. Fuck you. Sincerely, J.N.

Well, that certainly isn't ominous. You walk over and try to pick up the object, only to have it disappear as soon as you do. Stupid hexagon. Wait a second... Hexagon. Hexa... Hex...apedal Fox! You have to check your Lusus!

== Mistuo: Find your Lusus

You quickly run back inside you very slightly destroyed hive and look around. That one hit did a lot of damage. There were a lot of parts of the ceiling and walls torn apart and crashed onto the floor. You honestly could not care less. You only care about you Foxmom. Jumping over various debris, you make you way back into the closet from before. You pull open the door and... oh, no... You couldn't see much from the amount of ceiling and wall inside, but you could make one thing out very clearly. Blood. Moss-colored blood, the exact same as you and your Lusus'. You rush and start pulling several pieces of wall off until you can see you Lusus again. Relieved, you keep removing until her entire body is free again, only... slightly mangled and bleeding. You kneel down and start to feel your face get hotter, with little streams of something wet coming down. You could barely force yourself to say anything from the sudden wave of pain and grief hit you.

== Mistuo: Cry

You break down. You never thought this would happen, no matter how much she talked about it. You never thought that one day you'd be over your own Lusus' body, crying like a wriggler. You can't see, you can't feel, you can't think. All you can do is look down at the growing puddle of green tears growing on the floor. For what you guess is almost ten minutes you just sob, eventually slowing down your tears. Not because you were done, but because your body couldn't anymore. You feel this as a sign to stop, even though you don't want to. You open your eyes and look at your Lusus again, giving her a few pets as a goodbye. That's when you felt something. A small bump along her chest. It was very, very faint, but there was a bump. Not just a bump, a heartbeat! You smile and cry, trying to pick her up. You start to drag her out the closet before you hear a quiet cough.

Foxmom: M...Mistuo...

Foxmom: S...stop...

Mistuo: W-what?

Mistuo: N-o-!

Mistuo: I-I-I...

Foxmom: No...

Foxmom: Y-you can't...

Mistuo: Please, let me help y-o-v!

Foxmom: M...Mistuo!

Foxmom: Stop...

Foxmom: F...for once, l...listen to me...

Foxmom: T...the Sprite...

Mistuo: What?

Mistuo: What ab-o-vt it?

Foxmom: If... you really...

Foxmom: Really want me... put me..

Foxmom: In the Sprite...

Foxmom: Other wise... let me die...

Foxmom: Please, Mistuo...

Mistuo: T-the Sprite?

Mistuo: W-what... what...

Mistuo: WHAT?

Foxmom: MISTUO!

Foxmom: Ugh...

Foxmom: Just...

Foxmom: If it's what you want...

Mistuo: I..

Mistuo: Alright...

Mistuo: Alright!

Mistuo: Sprite!

You yell out into the hive, soon having the silent Sprite appear literally in front of you in a bright flash. You quickly do what your Lusus said and drag her over to it. With a quick heave, you toss Foxmom into the Sprite, resulting in another green blast of light. When you look back, the sprite has noticably changed. The mask now had a pair of fox ears and the nose came out into a canine snout. Looking down, the snake like body now had another pair of arms ending in fox paws. Probably to account for the extra set of legs.

Mistuo: F-o-xm-o-m?

Foxsprite: Ahh, to have such a young form again!

Foxsprite: I feel as though I can do anything!

Mistuo: Is... is that really y-o-v?

Foxsprite: Huh?

Foxsprite: Oh, apologies, Mistuo!

Foxsprite: I'm just so excited!

Mistuo: Excited?

Mistuo: Becavse y-o-v are alive again?

Foxsprite: Oh, no, I am quite livid qwith your decision.

Foxsprite: I have been ready to pass for sweeps now.

Foxsprite: But, now, with this new form?

Foxsprite: This other half of me wants to live!

Foxsprite: This 'Jason' character had such a desire to live and...

Mistuo: And..?

Foxsprite: And kill...

Foxsprite: Is there any Imps nearby?

Your new Lusus-Sprite's mask forms a crack along the snout in the shape of a smile. In both the hands on the right side summon a moss-colored blade. It gives them a few practice swings before focusing back on you.

Mistuo: Vhh, n-o-.

Mistuo: I jvst killed the -o-nly thing ar-o-vnd here.

Foxsprite: Oh, bother.

Foxsprite: Well, I suppose there will always be more.

Mistuo: Vh, yeah.

Mistuo: Are y-o-v -o-k, Foxmom?

Foxsprite: It is Fox _sprite_ now, actually.

Foxsprite: And I would be better if I had something to murder.


	20. Chapter 20: Land-xploration

== Be Jazz

You are now once again the game's original entree, who is taking care of a small Imp problem. While you and your companions were talking, neither you nor your Cuz were paying much attention to this situation and now the majority of the house was overtaken. One thing you've noticed is that these black started to look different. Instead of just having the Dewott appearance, some of them are now wearing bowties, fezzes, and a few even have hockey masks and machetes! I even saw one with four arms. They look cool, I'm not going to lie, but that also makes them more dangerous. Although, with a pen that can literally shoot a laser, they ain't really a problem. We take a few minutes to utterly destroy all of the three foot tall annoyances and gather all of the Grist. You feel as though there's more to these things than just making weapons and outfits. With the new collection of Grist, you quickly return to your room and sit down next to your Sprite.

== Jazz: Talk to your Sprite

Jazz: so, Dewott?

Dewottsprite: Yes, Jazzmine?

Jazz: the heck am i supposed to be doing?

Jazz: i mean

Jazz: i'm all for killing the crap out of a bunch of Imps.

Jazz: but please tell me there's more to this.

Dewottsprite: Ah, of course!

Dewottsprite: As I mentioned earlier, you have a Quest.

Jazz: Quest?

Jazz: is this gonna be some kind of Skyrim thing?

Jazz: am i gonna be trying to do the big thing but get caught up dumb sidequests

Jazz: and in turn getting bored and not wanting to go back to the main Quest

Jazz: making it impossible to completely this game the way it was meant to?

Dewottsprite: ...Uh

Dewottsprite: No?

Dewottsprite: No, this Quest is fairly straightforward and, for you at least, shouldn't take very much time at all!

Jazz: alright, and this Quest is?

Dewottsprite: Well, from what I've gather, your riddle is

Dewottsprite: _'Poisoned air killing the Land'_

Dewottsprite: _'Shall be cleaned by Maids hand'_

Dewottsprite: _'Vented by LoAoL's burning core'_

Dewottsprite: _'Tainted air shall be no more'_

Jazz: well then...

Jazz: i am terrible at riddles.

Jazz: give me a second please.

Jazz: Cuz!

You scream down into the house trying to signal your cousin. You hear a few more explosions, soon followed by Cuz walking into the room.

Cuz: Sup runt?

Jazz: got a riddle for ya.

Cuz: Ooooh shit!

Cuz: Give it to me, I got this!

Jazz: alright so it starts like this

Jazz: Poisoned air killed this Land.

Cuz: Very obvious, this place is dead because of all this acid and crap.

Cuz: Next.

Jazz: Shall be cleaned by Maid's hand.

Cuz: A Maid, probably you, will fix this shit somehow.

Cuz: Next clear as air line.

Jazz: Vented by LoAaL's burning core.

Cuz: Oh, huh...

Cuz: Well, obviously there's something in this planet that can vent away this air.

Cuz: Most likely the planet has a air filter in the center.

Cuz: Anything else?

Jazz: yeah, last part.

Jazz: Tainted air be no more.

Cuz: Oh my God, Jazz.

Cuz: You took me away from killing things

Cuz: So I could analyze this?

Jazz: hey, i just like having a second opinion!

Jazz: you can go back to your Imp massacre if you want.

Jazz: i just need to know i understood everything and you're smarter than me.

Cuz: Dang right I am.

Cuz: A'ight, I'm out.

Cuz: Later Sprite dude.

Dewottsprite: See ya, Cuz.

Jazz: alright, so, i have to get rid of this air.

Jazz: by starting some kind of filtration system?

Jazz: sounds simple enough, aside being in the center of the planet.

Dewottsprite: That is the long and the short of it!

Jazz: welp, this'll be a fun excursion.

Jazz: any idea where to start?

Dewottsprite: If you will step outside with me, I will show you how to go about this.

Jazz: outside?

Jazz: into the acidic air?

Jazz: that is killing this planet?

Dewottsprite: Quite the bright one, aren't you Jazzmine!

With this, the Sprite simply flashes away. You can only assume he went outside, which probably means you have to go out now as well. Yay, poisoned air.

== Jazz: Go outside

You quickly equip your pen and go to the living room, passing your cousin, and go outside. Good thing your cousin is crazy and prepared for everything, or else you wouldn't have the gas mask. Lucky you do, because this place looks like it can kill you. First off, no trees. Just giant sticks that used to be trees. Secondly, the ground was filled with glowing green puddles and ponds. Obvious where the 'Acid' part of the name comes from. Looked like the freaking Glowing Sea except you could actually see. And see you did with the sight of a blue and purple Pokemon looking Sprite floating at the edge of the property. You walk over and look up the same as him.

Far above your house you see a... spirograph? You think that's what it's called, it's a weird art thing made inside a circle. It's hard to make out but it looks the same as the one you saw when the game was loading. Above that was another one, followed by another, going up about six times. If you know anything about video games, those are the different levels. If you were a betting gal, you'd assume they're called gates. You look down and talk to the Sprite.

Jazz: so...

Jazz: i gotta go up those things?

Dewottsprite: Very bright girl!

Dewottsprite: Yes, to progress properly you must enter the Gates.

Dewottsprite: By any means necessary!

Jazz: so...

Jazz: building up?

Dewottsprite: Yes!

Jazz: flying?

Dewottsprite: Yes!

Jazz: slingshot?

Dewottsprite: Yes!

Jazz: cannon?

Dewottsprite: Anyway you can think of, yes you can!

Jazz: huh.

Jazz: neato.

Jazz: any advice?

Dewottsprite: The simplest way of traversing to the Gates is by building.

Dewottsprite: Your server player will be able to build onto your house to do so.

Jazz: Vlad?

Jazz: alright, i'll hit him up.

== Jazz: Hit up Vlad

You tap the side of your scouter and the Pesterchum app comes up. Cycling down, you hit on Vlad's handle.

trainingInformant [TI] has begun pestering reanimatedRenaissance [RR]

TI: Vladamir!

RR: Jazzmine!

TI: build me!

RR: Excuse me?

TI: i require you to build onto my house so i can get up to the Gate things.

TI: so...

TI: chop chop.

RR: Ok, fiRst off, Rude.

RR: Secondly, that must be what this tab is foR, one second.

You wait for a few moments before hearing a thud come from the side of your house. You look over and see a new extension to it, an entire room it looks like. You hear a beep and see another message in your scouter screen.

RR: AlRight, I think I've figuRed this out.

RR: I'm going to need more GRist foR this, though.

TI: what for?

RR: That's what I spend to build.

RR: It appeaRs to be a type of cuRRency in this game foR mateRials.

TI: that's stupid yet clever.

TI: i'll get to murdering Imps!

RR: You do that.

RR: Although, it seems like youR Cuz is taking caRe of that.

TI: yeah, she has problems.

TI: how she's kept custody of me is amazing.

TI: but i love her.

RR: Good, gotta keep family close.

RR: ARe we done heRe, because I have to build.

TI: you may build.

RR: Ta-ta!

reanimatedRenassance [RR] has ceased pestering trainingInformant [TI]

Nice, quick talk. Can always count on that Brit for that. You stand back as you watch a few more additions being randomly added onto your house, making a type of zig-zag in block form upwards. Easy to tell what design Vlad is going with. Trying to ignore the building you turn back towards your Sprite.

Jazz: alright Dewott.

Jazz: what can i do in the mean time?

Dewottsprite: Well, the game always places you very near to a village.

Dewottsprite: Perhaps you could learn more about this Land and it's consorts!

Jazz: well, ain't got nothing else to do.

Jazz: tell Cuz i'll be back in...

Jazz: i dunno, an hour?

Dewottsprite: Yes ma'am Madam Jazzmine!

== Jazz: Explore the village

You give the Sprite a wave and start off in the direction he points you in. You walk for a decent amount of time before coming over a hill where you see a few buildings in a plains like area. Sadly, it is a pretty decent walk over there. Yay, walking! You try to keep your balance as you slide down the the hill and start walking. You pass a few more acid pools and gag a little bit on the hard smell. Poison's gone, but the scent sure as hell isn't. Almost like... old hand sanitizer and mac and cheese. If people do live here, you are surprised they haven't tried to fix that. You can ask them now, because you have met the edge of the small town. You... are taken back a little at the sight of it up close. First off, the buildings had no consistency. It looked like there was housing from the medieval age, modern, a little bit of Egyptian style, and a whole lot more you couldn't even make out. Some how, this wasn't the most surprising thing about it. The inhabitants of these buildings looked like purple and blue... Tigers. Bipedal, blue tigers with purple stripes, that were walking around without gas masks and a few even taking in extremely deep breaths. Welp, this is going to be interesting.


	21. Ridams and Yttrim: Enter

== Be the twins

You are now back at these two and, man, both of you are bored as fuck! You haven't been paying attention to the actual situation as much as you should have, but you feel something plot advancing is going to happen soon. Maybe you should just check in with everyone real quick. Nothing wrong with being a little cautious. Then again, that is only Yttrim thinking. Ridams honestly couldn't give less of a fuck. Let's focus our attention on him. Nothing better than not caring at all!

== Be Ridams

You are now the male half of the conjoined twins and, man, do you feel good about yourself. Good and annoyed. Annoyed by not knowing what the hell you're supposed to be doing. Maybe this voice in your head is right. Maybe you should-wait a second. Why is that in the script? Am I going to get another member of this cavelcade of fuck ups that can hear me?What? Flip the page. Oh. *Ahem* The little voice in your head, you think it's called a conscense, is telling you to get information on the situation. You don't really listen to him that often, but this time he's right. So, you reach your portion of the body over to the desk and your double husktop. It's quite a stretch, but you don't like being unsure about things for this long. Let's see here. No... No... No... She's a cunt... Screw it, back to the group chat.

== Ridams: Rejoin the group chat

intimidatingPrimary [IP] has joined the chat

Ridams: yo any diipshiitts on?

You wait a minute and another screen pops up with that Moss-blooded dipshit in it.

Mistuo: Ah, hell-o- Ridams.

Ridams: any otther diipshiitts?

Mistuo: N-o-, every-o-ne seems t-o- be rather bvsy.

Mistuo: Y-o-v kn-o-w, playing a game that is destr-o-ying the vniverse.

Ridams: oh yeah

Ridams: tthatts why ii gott on

hospitableSecondary [HS] has joined the chat

Yttrim: Hey Mis-uo!

Mistuo: Hell-o- Yttrim!

Ridams: shutt up

Ridams: game

Ridams: siittuattiion

Ridams: when we goiing iin?

Mistuo: Well, we have t-o- pvt in Firyvt first.

Mistuo: S-o-, after that I svpp-o-se.

Yttrim: Wai-, wha-?

Mistuo: What?

Yttrim: She said i- goes up _before_ her.

Mistuo: Pard-o-n me?

Ridams: ii hatte tto say iitt

Ridams: butt dumbass over heres riightt

Ridams: we go iin beffore mouse cuntt

Ridams: and afftter you

Mistuo: -O-h...

Mistuo: Well then.

Mistuo: I gvess I am t-o- be pvtting y-o-v tw-o- in n-o-w.

Yttrim: Oh, yay!

Yttrim: I have been wai-ting for -his!

Ridams: hell yeah we have

Ridams: letts gett tto desttroyiing tthe uniiver-

Mistuo: Wait a sec-o-nd.

Mistuo: H-o-w exactly _am_ I t-o- pvt y-o-v tw-o- in?

Ridams: excuse me?

Mistuo: I mean, with all -o-f vs we each had a disc with the game -o-n it.

Mistuo: And I think each player has their -o-wn individval game disc.

Yttrim: Oh.

Yttrim: Well, we have one game disc.

Ridams: ttwo iif you countt tthe server one

Yttrim: Exac-ly.

Yttrim: I suppose i- jus- works like -ha-?

Mistuo: Hvh...

Mistuo: I gvess there's n-o- way -o-f kn-o-wing vnless we d-o- this?

Ridams: oh my gog

Ridams: sttop ttryiing tto tthiink aboutt tthiis and lletts gett tto tthe fun partt!

Ridams: iim ttiired of fuckiing waiittiing!

Mistuo: -O-k, -o-k, calm d-o-wn, Ridams.

Ridams: no ii wiillll nott callm down!

Ridams: ii am fuckiing bored!

Ridams: putt us iin tthe game beffore ii drag us tto your hiive and kiick your moss ass!

Mistuo: Heh, svre y-o-v c-o-me -o-ver whenever y-o-v want man.

Mistuo: I'm svre y-o-v can -o-nce I get y-o-v in the game.

Ridams: good

Ridams: ttook fuckiing llong enough

Yttrim: Ridams, I don'- mean -o be rude, bu- can you no- yell a- -he -roll in charge of our lives a- he momen-?

Yttrim: I would like -o -alk -o him.

Ridams: ugh...

Ridams: iillll giive you a miinutte

Yttrim: -hank you.

Yttrim: Now, Mis-uo.

Yttrim: Wha- are we -o be expec-ing as we go in?

Mistuo: Well, I have a minvte s-o-, in sh-o-rt.

Mistuo: I am g-o-ing t-o- be placing several machines in y-o-vr hive.

Mistuo: Y-o-v have t-o- hit this -o-ne big machine -o-n the t-o-p t-o- get a seizvre ball and a cylinder called a D-o-wel.

Mistuo: Al-o-ng with that, y-o-v will get a pvnched captvre card.

Mistuo: Take the D-o-wel and card t-o- a machine that will carve it int-o- a t-o-tem.

Mistuo: Pvt the t-o-tem -o-n the big machine with a flat pad thing.

Mistuo: This will make an item that will bvt y-o-v int-o- the game.

Mistuo: Vsvally by breaking it.

Ridams: ii lliike tthe sounds off tthatt partt

Mistuo: -O-f c-o-vrse y-o-v w-o-vld.

Mistuo: S-o- are y-o-v ready -o-r?

Yttrim: I -hink I"m good.

Ridams: yeeeeees!

Ridams: do iitt allready!

Mistuo: Alrighty then.

Mistuo: Game is in...

Mistuo: N-o-w!

Ridams: no need tto be dramattiic

Ridams: you coulldd off justt saiid you putt iitt iin

Mistuo: Shvt vp, mete-o-rs.

Yttrim: Me-eors?

Mistuo: Yes, -o-vtside there are mete-o-rs.

Mistuo: -O-k, pvtting the Crvxtrvder in.

You both turn at the sudden thud coming from another room. Eighty percent chance that's the thing green boy put down.

== Twins: Check out the noise

You carry yourselves to the hallway and to the living room. Yep, it's the thing green boy put down. A giant thing with a tube and lid on top. Hit it with something heavy he said... You get an idea and whistle loudly, hoping to get the attention of the three headed beast that is your guardian. You wait a second and smile seeing the giant walk into the room.

Ridams: chiimerama!

Ridams: break tthe tthiing on tthe ttop!

Yttrim: Please?

The Lusus looks at the Crux truder and bounds over, putting a giant paw on the lid. She barely pushes down and is thrown back by a big flash of soft blue light. You focus back and see a flashing ball, a little blue cylinder, and a card with holes in it. Man, the straightforwardness is amazing. You both walk over and climb up, grabbing the Dowel and card before hearing another loud thud from another room. Doesn't care enough to even put them together. Dipshit Fitera.

You hop off of the machine and take the items into the next room over, being followed by the flashing sphere thing. What you see is another large machine, this one havin-ok, you know what? Screw it, you all know what the fuck I'm talking about. You two walk over to the Lathe and put the Dowel into the space. Just going with your first you toss in the card into the slot and press the big red button next to it. Then, something weird happened. The needle thing doesn't even lower at all, only let's out a few sparks and a loud clicking noise. Now, you haven't played this game for long, but part of you think it's not suppose to do that.

== Ridams: Be confused

You walk up and take the cylinder out once the needle comes back up. You flip it around and put it back, doing the same procedure as before. The same thing happened. Well... fuck, this might be a problem. You take out the Dowel and card again to examine them a little bit. Everything... seems ok? Except that the card is scratched horribly and nothing would be able to read this thing. Alright then, time to pul something out of your ass. Or... ass's? Still haven't figured out that part of their anatomy yet. Either way, you need something stupid that could just work. And you think you get that idea when good old Chimerama wanders in.

Ridams: hey chiimerama!

Ridams: can you do somettiing for us?

The Lusus comes over and looks at the Dowel. It takes it in one of their paws and observes the card a little bit. She does something you were very slightly expecting for her to do. She sits down and brings her other paw, fully extending a claw. For a few minutes the large Lusus carves into the cylinder at different levels. Eventually, the thing is carved and actually looks like a Totem. The lion head smiles and puts the new Totem down next to you. Well, there's more than way to skin a meowbeast. Almost like he was waiting, Mistuo places the last machine in the center of the room. At least he was considerate this time.

== Twins: Go to the next machine

Yttrim picks up the Totem and carries it to the Alchemiter. She places it on the pedestal to the side and pushes the button. A laser thing comes down and scans the awkwardly shaped pillar before making a flash on the larger pad of the machine. What appears is a very jagged and misshapen statuette thing. It was a sky blue and looked like a serpent. A two-headed serpent to be specific. Then again, that could just be something else because this thing is misshapen to all hell. You both climb onto the Alchemiter and pick up the messed up statuette. You want to smash it immediately but instead Yttrim looks it over. On it's underbelly there are a few words scribbled in it. "Rouge of Blood and Knight of Rage, Smash the Serpent to escape their fated Cage." Well, straightforward enough, but horribly written.

Ridams: allriightt so

Ridams: how do you wantt tto do tthiis?

Yttrim: Pardon?

Ridams: ii justt wantt tto smash iitt butt

Ridams: lliike tthiis seems lliike some biig shiitt riightt now

Ridams: tthoughtt you miightt wantt tto...

Ridams: ii dunno do iitt ttogetther?

Yttrim: Oh.

Yttrim: Well, -he -hing has -wo heads.

Yttrim: I grab one and you grab one?

Ridams: and pullll on tthe countt off tthree?

Yttrim: Yeah.

Ridams: allriightt tthen.

== Twins: Enter

You each grab one of the heads and pull it as hard as you can. The base of it's neck snaps and a long crack goes down the length of statuette. After a few more pulls the crack reaches the tip of the tail and it separates, making another large flashing light. When you're able to again, you open your eyes and look around. Nothing really out of the ordinary seems to have changed, aside the large ball thing is still just floating there. Apparently Chimerama is interested in it. You look some more and take note of the sky out of a window. It is pure freaking black outside. This must be the Land thing Jazz was talking about.

== Twins: Check out your Land

You walk over to the window to observe the area and... what the actual hell? Where to even begin with this place. First off, even though it was dark, the Land was still lit up extremely well by what looked like neon lights. The lights were able to give some small outlines to... are those trains? Yes, they were the outlines of old train cars. What was weirdest was that the ground was somehow perfectly split in half. On one side of your hive the ground was a darker grey with little colorful specks along it. The other half wasa light brown with some type of mushrooms growing everywhere. That's another thing. The brown colored side had some kind of giant mushrooms growing absolutely everywhere. It felt like some kind of bad acid trip just looking at the Land.

You look at each other before turning into the hive again. Best to ask some of the others what to do. Especially with that stupid seizure ball thing. Which your Lusus is still playing with. For some reason, the ball is avoiding every move the three-headed beast is making towards it. You two go up and stop as she starts to get down in a pouncing position, lining the ball in between her two main heads. Well, she isn't going to miss it this time. You wait and see the beast jump, landing dead on top of the flashing sphere. This leads to yet another large flash, blinding the both of you. While you can't see you hear a very weird noise, almost like a computer was having trouble running a disc.

When you can finally see, you look up at what used to be both your Lusus and the seizure ball. What they both are now is some strange conglomeration of creatures. It was one large body with the snake tail with it's normal head. Perched on it's neck was two heads, one feline and one cervine. The new creature had a pair of cloven feet and actual hands, and the whole thing was a light-blue color. Also, it was floating. Out of everything with this new thing, the fact it was floating caught your attention the most. That is when the lion head decided to speak.

Chimerasprite^2: Well, this isn't exactly how this was to play out.

Chimerasprite^2: You definitely aren't supposed to have a squared Sprite so early as well.

Ridams: whatt

Yttrim: Wha-.

Chimerasprite^2: Ah, yes, you two probably have a few questions.

Chimerasprite^2: Allow us to answer the basics.

Chirmerasprite^2: We are Chimerasprite...^2 we guess.

Chimerasprite^2: And this is your Land...s?

Chimerasprite^2: We guess since there are two Lands at once, it technically counts as a Half-Land?

Chimerasprite^2: Yes, this is the Half-Land of Neon and Trains and the Half-Land of Stress and Fungi!

Chimerasprite^2: And that is the most basic of questions we can answer without questions.

Chimerasprite^2: So, any questions?

Ridams: yeah ii gott one

Ridams: whatt tthe acttuall ffuck justt happened?


	22. Chapter 22: Hall of Heroes

== Be Firyut

For you to go back to her, you are going to also...

== Wake up

Wake up on Prospit to be the most accurate. While waiting for everyone to get into the game to put you in, you decided to do one of your best recreational activites. Sleeping. You wake up in your bright yellow room and take a look around. Everything looks the exact same, including the tiny mouse holes in the walls. You float up out of your recopreacoon and step onto the floor, going over to the window. You take a look outside and see that things have settled down quite a bit from your earlier visit. No one going absolute batshit crazy, no one with over sized weapons, and no... oh, wait, there he is. Little guy that thinks you're destroying the universe. Shall we go say hi?

Dream!Firyut: i say we s#all

I missed this.

== Firyut: Greet the Prospitian

You stand on the edge of your window and fall forward, free falling to the ground before catching yourself right above impact. And, almost by plot conveniece, you stand back up in front of the crazy guy. He looks more annoyed than surprised by your sudden appearance.

Prospitian: Oh...

Prospitian: Hello, Witch.

Dream!Firyut: #i prospit guy!

Dream!Firyut: everyt#ing looks calmer.

Dream!Firyut: your war t#ing blow over?

Prospitian: Wha- NO!

Prostitian: Have you never heard of the calm before the thorm?

Prospitian: All the fighterth are already at the Battlefield.

Prospitian: They went there when that thupid Thylph entered.

Prospitian: Did you not read that book?

Dream!Firyut: it was in cursive!

Dream!Firyut: s#ut up.

Dream!Firyut: just be #appy you arent down t#ere.

Dream!Firyut: its going to get really #airy.

Prospitian: And jutht how do you know that?

Dream!Firyut: o# i just read a#ead a little bit.

Dream!Firyut: just enoug# to tell you try to avoid t#at as muc# as you can.

Prospitian: What.

Dream!Firyut: actually if i enter soon i can probably make it to w#ere you dont even #ave to go

Prospitian: What again.

Dream!Firyut: spoilers sorry.

Dream!Firyut: went over board a little.

Prospitian: ...

Prospitian: Ok, well, I'm jutht gonna...

Prospitian: Go.

Dream!Firyut: o# ok!

Dream!Firyut: wait no.

Dream!Firyut: i actually wanted to talk to you seriously.

Prospitian: Oh my God, can you even underthand theriouthly?

Dream!Firyut: yes!

Dream!Firyut: one second t#ough first.

Prospitian: Uh, ok?

Dream!Firyut: #ey narrator dude!

Yes?

Dream!Firyut: can you take t#e dream part of t#at title out?

Dream!Firyut: its getting annoying.

Oh, well. I suppose so. Was getting a little tiring to keep putting that anyways.

Firyut: t#ank you!

Prospitian: Who are you talking to?

Firyut: o#!

Firyut: just t#is guy i #ear in my #ead t#ats telling t#is w#ole story.

Firyut: #es t#e guy i took t#e script from to read a#ead.

Wait, you did what? When did you find time to do that?

Firyut: not important.

Prospitian: Great, one of the extremely powerful deitieth hearth thingth in her head.

Firyut: yessirree!

Firyut: wait extremely powerful?

Firyut: i #aven't gotten t#at far yet.

Prospitian: Wait.

Prospitian: Do you... not know your own power?

Firyut: i...

Firyut: guess not.

Prospitian: Well, that ith definitely not good.

Prospitian: A God that doethn't know her Godly powerth...

Firyut: yea# t#ats kinda w#at i just said.

Prospitian: You know what thith callth for?

Firyut: yea# i know w#at t#e deal is.

Firyut: just take me to t#e places and s#ow me t#e t#ings.

Prospitians: Thtill don't know what that meanth, but any excuthe to teach thomeone!

The Prospitian then turns around and starts walking towards a very large building in a large square area of the city. Out of pure random knowledge, you know you're going to follow him anyways, so almost walk in front of him and beat him to the building. The building is more of a hall know that you can get a good look at it. Not really a hall, more... a giant, neverending hallway. Although, there do seem to be a few things along the sides of the hall. Statues maybe?

Prospitian: Here we are, the apex of our learning experience.

Prospitian: The Hall of Heroeth!

Firyut: #u#...

Firyut: it would be more impressive if you didnt lisp at t#e end.

Prospitian: Thhut up, come on.

== Firyut: Enter the hall

You step inside and are... surprisingly underwelmed. It is the exact same shade of yellow as most of the buildings on this moon, and the statues are of just random dudes in pajamas. You go up to the first statue and look at the... guy you want to say? Yeah, the name of him is definitely a guys name. He had pointy hair, almost like Mistuo's, glasses and big buck teeth, and he was holding some kind of hammer. His pajamas had a really long hood thing on the back and two squiggly line things on the center. His little plaque thing said... 'Johnathon Egbert, Heir of Breath. Leading with the Strength of a Thousand Winds.' Well, that is cool. You want a title like that!

You keep going down and see a lot more statues. Some are human, some Troll and some that are... something else. You decide to go with the rest of the humans. Let's see here... Jade Harley, Witch of Space - hey, another Witch! Huh, not that many humans as you thought there'd be. Now the Trolls on the other hand, holy shit! You aren't even going to bother with most of them. Just the ones that seem most important. Alright let's see here, Karkat Vantas, Knight of Blood, Sollux Captor, Mage of Doom, Gamzee Makara, Bard fo Rag-What the fuck is he wearing?! Oh, Gog that is absolutely horrendous. A codpiece like that should never be used by anyone ever. If there is a Bard in your session, you are going to cut that piece off weither or not it's on or off the person.

Nothing all to interesting with these group. All seem pretty neat but a few looked exactly like an asshole type of person. Now for the not human or Troll people. There was only one of these... kinda skeleton looking people. Calliope, Muse of Space. Looks lonely up there by herself. Moving on, these next two are huge as hell. Like, almost reaching the ceiling tall. The first one had tall spikey hair and something diamond shaped on her head. The Plaque says 'White Diamond, Page of Void. Leading with the Strength of a Thousand Planets.' The next one has a really weird hair style, it coming down from the top and kind of hooping around her chest, where another diamond this was placed. 'Blue Diamond, Mage of Heart. Defending with the Power of Her Fallen Allies.' Both pretty cool, you have to say.

Firyut: ok t#is is cool but like #ow is t#is supposed to #elp me?

Prospitian: It ith to thow you what you are going to become.

Prospitian: A God with amazing power and thomewhat decent outfitth.

Firyut: o#...

Firyut: i liked t#at rogue one.

Prosptitian: Very good, I prefer the Heir outfit.

Prospitian: But that ithn't all I brought you here for.

Prospitian: There are thome... I forget what they're called, tometh or thomething.

Firyut: o# t#at sounds interesting.

Firyut: s#e says extremely sarcastically.

Prospitian: Yeth, the tharcathm wath apparent.

Firyut: anyways to t#e book prospitian guy!

Prospitian: I have a name, Witch.

Firyut: and t#at is?

Firyut: come no ive known you for almost twenty c#apters now

Firyut: you s#ould #ave said it by now

Prospitian: Still don't know what that means.

Prospitian: My name, is Expi.

Expi: Now, books!

Firyut: t#at is t#e most egg#ead t#ing ive ever #eard.

== Find the book

Expi continues down the giant hallway, passing several more statues some human, some Trolls, some whatever the hells. Eventually after who knows how long, you and the Prospitian come to a book that is at least half your size sitting on a pedastal. Although, you did notice something about one very, very weird thing about this pedastal and the hall itself the closer you got. It was slowly moving away from you. The hall was growing itself. Expi keeps a slow pace with the book and flips it open to some random page around halfway through.

Expi: And here we are.

Expi: The explanation and thource of your Godly powerth.

You look into the book and see one sentence with a small picture at the bottom. It had a figure on the top of a pillar with a symbol floating above. The one sentence said...

Firyut: die on t#e bed.

Firyut: are you serious.

Expi: Yeth ma'am!

Expi: All of thethe heroeth died on thome kind of bed, and they got their powerth.

Firyut: o...k t#en.

Firyut: t#at is totaly not #appening.

Firyut: i am fine wit# not #aving powers.

Expi: What?

Expi: You will literally become a God!

Firyut: sorry but if im dying i will die for good.

Expi: You are inthane.

Expi: I'd totally kill mythelf for God powerth.

Firyut: yea# well you arent t#e one wit# some dumb destiny t#ing are you?

Firyut: so you cant.

Firyut: unless i dunno t#eres somet#ing you could use to get overly powered to rival a gods.

Firyut: but even in t#is story t#ere is no suc# plot device.

Expi: Pleathe, if I know anything about thorieth there will be thome Deux Ex Machina roughly halfway through.

Firyut: i understood literally none of t#at.

Expi: Neither did I to be completely honetht.

Expi: Wanna thee more thatueth?

Firyut: #ell yea# i do.

== Firyut and Expi: See more thatueth... statues.

The short Prosptian walks you back to the front of the hall when you came in. You are about to ask why you came here when you notice something you hadn't beforehand. There was another hall going off the side, like an extension. Above the doorway was couple of large words that read 'Hall of the Nulled'. Sounds unsettling. Expi quickly walks in, leaving you under the signed opening. Something deep inside you said you really didn't want to go in there, but it is quickly tossed out of your mind as the Prospitian grabs your arm and drags you in. You look around and see that most of these statues seemed... off in some way. They either looked evil, broken, or sad if that even makes sense. That's the only way oyu could describe them. You notice the first broken statue coming onto the first humans.

This first guy almost looks like that one human, what was his name? John you think, except with spikeyer hair. 'Jacob English, Page of Hope. Saving the Session with the Hope of a Thousand Timelines'. Now, that would be cool aside from one important factor. Where the hell are his pants? Like, it's almost as bad as the Bard outfit. You would kick the shit out of any Page you see. Next up is a girl who looks like that Jade chick from before. There's a connection here you're not seeing. 'Janet Crocker, Maid of Life. Returning her Allies with the Life of the Green Sun'. Why do all of these things sound so cool? It's unneccasary really. Going on you finally reach the Trolls. Wow, these guys look almost exactly like the Trolls from the other hall, except... crappier. Like, place holders for a pointless sidestory that only, like, two were important for. You really don't even bother with them, it's probably just a dumb intermission from the important stuff.

Then you find the ones that are actually really interesting. You find another single statue of the skeleton creatures and... wait a second. That ones the same as before. Calliope, Muse of Space. What? Did someone make a mistake here? She's still wearing the same outfit and symbol, but she looks more... sad and dead. So many questions. Questions for later. The nest ones were two bigger statues of, you want to say some kind of horses? They looked like Unicorns but with wings. Or Pegasus with horns. You saw something with creatures like these. You think they called them Alicorns. Anyways, this first one was very tall and wearing some kind of armor on her head and hooves, with a big moon tattoo thing on her butt. 'Nightmare Moon/Luna Faust, Heir of Void'. 'Heart breaker/Cadence Faust, Maid of Heart'. Dumb names, but it was an interesting change of norm with these statues. You kinda like it.

This hall isn't as long as the main one, being only about a third the length. The lights in this hall were also dimmer than the other, giving a rather nice ambiance to the sad or angry statues along the sides. Eventually, in about half the time it took the main hall, you reach the end which was also increasing in length. That's when you saw something cool, interesting, and a little nerve racking. On the right wall were four pedestals for statues, the first three already being taken up. The human and Trolls that took up those spots is what got you the most. The first was the human girl, a little bit taller than you wearing a strange object on her face that looked a little like a full screen going across her eyes. Her outfit was the same as the Maid's and had the Mind symbol on it. The next one, a male Troll that you recognized far too easily. He had combed to the side, spiked hair and looked a little bit malnourished. He had the... Oh Jegus Christ, he had the Bard outfit on with the Breath symbol. And then, the last one. Another Troll this one a female. She had curved horns with even indents on the side, long hair that shadowed most of her face, and a set of very messed up fangs. She had the Knight outfit with the Rage symbol. Even though you could tell who everyone was you had to be extra sure. You looked down and read each of the plaques. 'Jazzmyne Hattie, Maid of Mind', 'Mistuo Fitera, Bard of Breath', and 'Yttrim Grupka, Knight of Rage'. You looked down the rest of the pedestals and nearly choked on a breath seeing the last name. 'Firyut Gionta, Witch of Doom'.

Firyut: u## expi?

Firyut: w#at makes t#is #all different from t#e ot#er one?

Expi: Oh!

Expi: Thith one holdth the heroeth that had a Null theththion!

Firyut: and just w#at is a nulled session?

Expi: Let'th jutht thay, they fucked up badly.

Expi: And it did not end the betht for them.

Expi: It wath... God, it wath jutht terrible for the lot of them.

Exti: Horrible even.

Expi: Why do you athk?

Firyut: u## no reason i guess...

Firyut: #ave you even read t#ese ones?

Expi: Not until they are all full!

Firyut: a## ok t#en.

Firyut: well t#is is going to be...

Firyut: quite a talk wit# everyone.


	23. Firyut: Enter

== Firyut: Exit the Hall

After taking another look around and getting even more set off from the statues of you and your friends you and the short Prospitian turn around and exit the building. You are unsure how to break the news that y'all fucked up everything, but there is definitely more than one way to do it. None of them are right, but there are a few. You look around and notice that the clouds that fill the sky are a little more numerous than usual, have around twenty just looking straight up. The clouds also have the same confusing visions inside of them. Would there be anything wrong with looking at them? Probably not.

==Firyut: Cloud watch

You stand outside the Hall of Heroes and look at the clouds, trying to find one that catches your interest. It takes a little while but you finally find one that is at least a little attention grabbing. Of course, it only is because of how much red there is in there. Red and black with a speck of green scarf on a certain Moirail! That's Mistuo up there in the clouds! That's when the Prospitian decides to speak up right next to you.

Expi: Looking at the cloudth?

Firyut: yea# just seeing w#at t#e deal is

Expi: Thothe are the cloudth of Thkaia.

Expi: They come from the Battlefield and tell the future or eventth happening now.

Firyut: cool

Firyut: i see my moirail mistuo up t#ere

Expi: Ith he the guy with the thcarf and fithhing pole?

Firyut: yep

Firyut: now s#ut up i wanna see t#is

Expi stops talking and looks up at the same cloud as you. You must have missed something because now someone else was there with him. You can't really make out who but you can tell they have big, over dramatic wings and a red outfit. You can tell that they were a Troll because of the horns sticking out of the hoodie thing. You see the horns and instantly recognize the new person is Saylen, although one of the horns were broken off in the middle. They looked like they were talking but there is no way you could even begin to make out what they were saying. Soon they stopped and started going towards some kind of mountain thing with a red river coming down it. While they were walking he stops and taps his scarf before a large screen things floats in front of his face. I see the Trollian symbol and go into a facetime with someone. He talks for a while and keeps walking, climbing with Saylen to the top of the volcano.

Once at the top you see a rather amazing sight in front of them. In the middle of a giant lava filled pool was some kind of tower thing, with a slab and four pillars at the corners. The slap thing is blue and has that Breath symbol you saw on the statues. You watch as the two Trolls stand at the edge of the pool and Mistuo pulling out a much bigger fishing pole than he usually has and casts into the magma. For a few minutes you watch as your Moirail sits down and waits for a catch before the line straightens and tights into the lava. He quickly stands up and starts reeling it in, the creature he caught actually pulling him towards the pool itself. Soon, Saylen grabs him and starts pulling back. After a full minute of this, the creature is flung out of the lava and flies over the Trolls, landing right onto the stone. A very weird looking fish like think with large wing looking fins and a hard helmet looking like part on it's head.

Saylen walks over and picks the fish up and tosses it into her Modus before looking back at Mistuo. Your Moirail is sitting back down and breathing, keeping his focus mostly to the ground and tower thing. Saylen then pulls out her own fishing pole and starts walking towards him, wrapping the end of the string around her fist and tightening it. She steps up behind him before saying something, and then the cloud goes blank and floats off.

Firyut: w#at!?

Firyut: are you serious?

Firyut: t#at is bulls#it!

Expi: Woah, Firyut, calm down.

Expi: The cloudth only thtay for a little while, it'th jutht how Thkaia workth.

Firyut: no s#ut up little man

Firyut: t#at was planned to be cryptic

Expi: Oh?

Expi: Did you read that in your thcript?

Firyut: no im just not retarded

Expi: Really?

Expi: Thurprithing.

Firyut: ADA# IS NOT RETARDATION!

Expi: Woah, ok, thorry!

Firyut: rig#t you are

Firyut: but t#at didnt seem rig#t

Firyut: #e was on a different planet and so was saylen

Firyut: and #e was using #is scarf as a computer t#ing...

Firyut: you said t#ese s#ow t#e future rig#t?

Expi: Yeth, they could be minuteth, dayth, yearth.

Expi: Could be happening right now actually.

Firyut: #u#...

Firyut: im gonna go c#eck up on t#em

Firyut: dont do anyt#ing crazy w#ile im gone

Firyut: and if you see a dersite wit# a knife and ring stay away from #im

Firyut: but try to get t#e ring

Firyut: important later

Firyut: bye expi!

Before the Prospitian could say anything, you float off back into your tower thing and get into the fake 'coon. You slip into sleep again and float in the slime stuff.

== Firyut: Wake up

You jerk awake with the sound of some kind of explosion outside your hive and a small quake. You try to climb out of your recoopreacoon before falling with a second shake from outside. You try to pick yourself and stumble over to the window and look outside. You were out for a lot longer than you meant to because your round with meteors already looked halfway over with. You started to panic a little before hearing the sound of your husktop telling you someone was trying to contact you. You rush over and see that a lot of your friends were trying to get through to you. You decide to kill three birds with one stone and open a quick group chat.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has began a group chat

timelessOceanographer [TO] has joined the chat

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has joined the chat

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has joined the chat

Saylen: Cavdit y(o)u aren't even in the game yet, piss the fuck (o)ff!

Cavdit: /\/o.

Saylen: than shut the fuck up.

Cavdit: Ca/\/ do for the /\/\o/\/\e/\/t.

Saylen: g(o)(o)d, n(o)w the imp(o)rtant stuff.

Saylen: *Firyut, game yet?*

Firyut: *not yet*

Firyut: *just woke up*

Saylen: *damn it Firyut, we are d(o)ing imp(o)rtant shit here!*

Firyut: *i know just tell me w#at to do*

Saylen: Mistu(o), y(o)u're up

Mistuo: Thank y-o-v Saylen.

Mistuo: *Firyvt, I need y-o-v t-o- pvt y-o-vr game int-o- y-o-vr hvskt-o-p.*

Firyut: *on it!*

You pull out your card with the games in it and solve the puzzle, get the game disc, and toss it into the little disc thingy. A small screen comes up and a loading bar starts filling up quickly.

Mistuo: *Perfect, n-o-w wait a sec-o-nd.*

Cavdit: Ca/\/ so/\/\eo/\/e at least ask \/\/hat I'/\/\ doi/\/g here?

Saylen: fine, what are y(o)u d(o)ing here Cav-dick?

Cavdit: Tryi/\/g to see \/\/he/\/ the fuck I'/\/\ getting i/\/ this bitch!

Cavdit: It has literally bee/\/ hours for fucks sake!

Saylen: d(o) y(o)u just n(o)t understand the meaning (o)f patience?

Cavdit: /\/o I do /\/ot good /\/\ada/\/\\.

Mistuo: Hey, qviet, I'm trying t-o- d-o- a thing.

Cavdit: Fi/\/e, I \/\/ill shut up for /\/o\/\/.

Mistuo: Alright, I g-o-t thr-o-vgh with her.

Mistuo: *Firyvt, I am n-o-w g-o-ing t-o- pvt these things int-o- y-o-vr hive.*

Mistuo: *G-o-o-d thing y-o-v made all this space in there.*

Firyut: #a#a#a!

Firyut: told you!

You are unable to control your volume or proper pronuctiation and Cavdit visually cringes at you.

Cavdit: Oh, s\/\/eet christ is that \/\/hy you /\/e\/er talk?

Cavdit: Stay \/\/ith the sig/\/ la/\/guage, please.

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/ I'/\/\ happy you kept co/\/tact to a /\/\i/\/i/\/\u/\/\, or else I \/\/ould'\/e heard that before.

Saylen: Cavdit!

Saylen: what the actua[ fuck dude?

Mistuo: Seri-o-vsly man.

Mistuo: Jvst... jvst leave dvde.

Cavdit: \/\/hat?

Cavdit: You guys did/\/'t tell /\/\e _that_ sou/\/d \/\/ould co/\/\e out of her!

Cavdit: If a/\/ythi/\/g, this is your fault.

Saylen: Cav-dick, i swear t(o) g(o)g, i wi[[ sh(o)ve a[[ f(o)ur (o)f y(o)ur eyes up y(o)ur ass.

Mistuo: S-o- y-o-v can see when I kick it vntil y-o-v can't walk anym-o-re.

Firyut: *w#at goings on?*

Mistuo: *N-o-thing, machines being pvt d-o-wn.*

Mistuo: *G-o- int-o- y-o-vr hall and-*

Firyut: *yea# we all get it at t#is point*

Firyut: *brb bitc#s*

Mistuo: *Langvage!*

Firyut: *bite my ass scarfy!*

You step up and go out into the large hallway which was still shaking from the meteors. You wait and watch as Mistuo puts down a few machines; the Cruztruder, Totem Lathe, and Alchemiter. You rush over and jump on-

Firyut: #ey narrator dude?

Firyut: look we all know #ow t#is s#it goes down

Firyut: can we just skip to breaking t#e t#ing part?

Firyut: t#is c#apter is already longer t#an it s#ould be and its kinda been all over t#e place

Oh my God, you are such a buzzkill. Fine, for this one situation we can skip everything.

Firyut: and for cavdit and...

Firyut: w#atever t#e ot#er ones name is

Vlad?

Firyut: yea# t#at one

Firyut: #oly crap #es barely been in t#is story at all

Yeah, well, if you've read this script all the way through you would want to stay as far from his story as possible. I mean, fuuuuuck, he's so boring! For a Vampire, so Goddamn boring.

Firyut: w#atever dont care

Firyut: put in t#e enter command or w#atever

== Firyut: Enter

You step onto the Alchemiter and pick up the bright orange mouse trap. How proper of an entrance item. The small snapping part it lifted up and a small picture of the game's symbol is on the lever part. Can these things get any more straight forward? Now, the question is how to open it without hurting yourse-

Firyut: imma put my finger in it

What? No! Do you even... why?

Firyut: because i feel these people want someone in pain by now

Firyut: and mistuo crying over #is not dead lusus didnt satisfy anybody

Firyut: at least i put t#roug# t#e effort to be somew#at entertaining even at my own expense

...You are very strange, you know that?

Firyut: #ey im just #ow m created my c#aracter

Wait, how much do you-

Firyut: s#ut up and read t#e rest of t#at altered script

Geez, fine... *Ahem* Without thinking properly, you hit the lever with your index finger and the snapper clamps shut onto the tip, causing a quick sting of pain followed by a bright flash of light. When you can see again you look down and see that the mouse trap did cut you a little and there's a drip of agate blood. There, that what you wanted?

Firyut: i guess so

Firyut: #urt a little more t#an i t#oug#t it would

You quickly put your finger into your mouth and suck the terrible taste of liquid sulfur and arsenic. God, why does your blood have to taste like this? Humans get an iron taste, that's not so bad. Mistuo has a little bland, planty taste and that's ok... Not like you've ever tasted it before. But no, you get rotten egg smell-taste. Questions for later, but you should bring it up with Vlad. In the mean time, you go back into your respiteblock and go back to the window. Taking over the sight of a dark hilly area with meteors coming down, it was more or less just a blanket of white all across your point of view, aside from the green grass below it. That's when you are interrupted by the Sprite that came out of the Cruxtruder and prototyped. Ok see? This is what I was going for sticking to the thing from before! Our readers have to know what you prototy-

Firyut: i put in the troll equivalent of a captain america comic book in t#ere

Firyut: now was t#at so #ard?

Captainsprite: Excuse me, Firyut?

Firyut: ...

Captainsprite: Oh, right.

Captainsprite: *Firyut.*

Firyut: *yes mister captain?*

Captainsprite: *May I ask to who you are talking to?*

Firyut: *not important*

Firyut: *w#at is is t#at i want to know w#ere we are?*

Captainsprite: *Ah, yes, of course.*

Captainsprite: *This is what remains of the Land of Mornings and Hills.*

Firyut: *remains?*

Captainsprite: *Yes, sadly things in this Land have not gone very well lately.*

Captainsprite: *Now...*

Captainsprite: *Now, this is the Land of Mist and Hallucinations.*

Firyut: *sounds trippy*

Firyut: *i like it*


	24. Chapter 24: Joyride

== Be Cuz

Out of a random turn of events, you are now back at LoAaL in the place of Jazz's Cousin. In your time by yourself you've probably blew up... twenty of these Imp things? You lost count after a while, but you're pretty sure it was around that many. And despite how much you want to say the opposite, it has gotten extremely boring. Literally, the only thing of interest is that Vlad dude building onto your house to get to a hole in the sky or something stupid like that, you don't care to remember. What you do care about, is the fact that the killing the things got boring and for some reason you can't pick this Grist stuff up anymore. Must be a reserve or something that got full. That's how games work right? On of the few times you wished you played video games instead of prepare for the apocalypse. Oh, who are you kidding? You are happy you did it and even happier that you were right about it. Now, there ain't no government to tell you how much kush you can smoke in a day. Speaking of...

== Cuz: Head to the basement

You get off of the couch and down the stairs to what remains of your basement. Luckily, the remainder still has your weed planters packed into the corner. Such a considerate game this SBURB is. You pick out some of the choice stuff; the biggest leaves you can pull up with no seeds or stems. Sadly, you don't know anyone on this new planet so you don't have anyone to sell this excess crap to. Guess throwing them out is the only choice now. Actions for later, right now you are toking right the fuck up. You roll up a quick number of joints and hop back upstairs to find, that's right, more Imps and lizard things! They are just so freaking numerous. Dewottsprite is taking care of most of them, but follows your request to not get the couch wet. Which is where the greatest number of them are. You sigh and take out your Destructo Machete and get ready to fight again. The Imps don't even get to look at you before you blast a pair of frisbees made of lights at them, cutting them all in half. You sigh and sit down on the black ink covered couch, setting the machete on the side of armrest. The Sprite then floats over to you and look around the living room.

Dewottsprite: This room has gotten more and more messy ever since Jazzmyne left.

Cuz: Yup.

Dewottsprite: Someone should probably clean it so the others have a nice arrival.

Cuz: Yup.

Dewottsprite: I suppose I shall get to it, if you don't mind holding off the Imps.

Cuz: Yup, I'll take care of the little whatchamacallits.

Dewottspite: Alrighty then!

Dewottsprite: I'll be cleaning up the floors now.

Cuz: Dang, I should start calling you Codsworth at this point.

Cuz: Cleaning shit up and killing annoying little pissants.

Cuz: Hmm...

Cuz: Wonder if the XBox still works here?

Cuz: Naw, pot first.

You bring one of the joints to your lips and take out your lighter. You flip it open and light it, taking in a huge hit of the smoke. You almost instantly feel your entire body ease up and you slump into the couch. Along with this, you also get that dumb sensation you get when you get high. You really want to find out if your XBox works. You also wish you had some wrap instead of this stupid cheap joint paper. That would've taste better than just the smoke. Speaking of tasting things, you wonder if there are and Doritos left. Hopefully they didn't get all crushed up in the game enterance thing. Oh, and Mountain Dew. God, if there isn't any Mountain Dew you will literally kill something. Oh wait, you already are. Ok, you have your plan set up now. Chips, soda, XBox, killing things. Oh, you love when the hit brings out this side of you. Small fact about pot, it does not make you a crazy giggler or philosophical world saver. It just strengths up one part of your character that doesn't come out too much... Who are you explaining this to?

== Cuz: Check the kitchen

You quickly hop up and walk into the kitchen which has somehow avoided all the craziness of Imp murder. That also means that the cupboards are probably perfectly fine. You go to one of them and open it up to find a big unopened bad of Cool Ranch Doritos! Jackpot motherfuckers! You reach in and pick up the bag and put it into your Coloring Book Modus. Won't be all that hard to get it out. If the chips are ok, then that must mean... You turn around and go to the fridge and open it to get hit by a blast of cool air. Ok, somehow electricity still works here. You take out the a few sodas and capturelog them. Two things taken care of. Nice. You take another breath from the blunt and head back into the living room. So, if the fridge was working, that means the power is on. If the power is on and the XBox is plugged in, than that should mean...

You go over to the TV and touch the small power thing on the console, hearing the little 'ding' noise that comes from it turning on. You smile and take the controler and sit back down on the couch. You take out both the capture cards and color in the outlined chips and drinks. Once you have the stereotypical stoner collection of items, you go over into you games and slide down to Fallout 4 and click. You are brought up to the normal loading screen on the main menu but before you can do anything, you are interrupted by two more Imps. Man, you really do not want to deal with these guys right. Just give you fifteen to twenty minutes for the bulk of the high to go away, then you can get to murdering again.

You sigh and take in another big hit from the blunt and toss it to the side before grabbing your machete again. The Imp gets up to your face and your blow the smoke into it's face and stand up. You look down and wait for it to do something but all it does is scratch at his face before just looking forward. After a moment of this, the Imp falls back on its ass with a dumb smile on his face and instantly starts just looking around and to the ceiling. You don't even need to think to know what was going on here.

Cuz: Oh, first toke huh?

Cuz: Yeah, is hits you good first time around.

Cuz: We cool now little dude?

The Imp looks over and nods to you, trying to stand itself back up.

Cuz: Naw dude, you can chill there.

Cuz: Want a Dew?

The little guy smiles and nods again. You turn around and grab one of the sodas before tossing it behind and to the Imp. Those guys must be weaker than you thought, because when he missed the can it hit him straight in the face and was replaced with a few bits of Grist.

Cuz: Oops.

Cuz: My bad bro.

Cuz: Weak ass bitches.

Cuz: Oh shit, wait, there were more of you guys, weren't you?

You look around and noticed something that would piss off anyone as stoned as you are. There were about three other Imps looking over the TV and getting way too close to it. After a few seconds, one of the Imps jumps on it and brings it down right on top of him, popping into a small pile of Grist. You could still hear the sound of the Fallout menu, but that doesn't mean it's still working. A fish may flop, but that doesn't mean it's still alive. You wonder if there's anyway to get fish around here... God, it's been forever since you've had some good catfish. Wait, what are you talking about? You need to avenge your TV! You quickly aim you machete at the other Imps and flick it to the side, sending a pair of light discs at them. They explode upon contact, just like the others.

You kick the Grist to the side and try to pick the TV back up. Just like you thought, there was no light coming from it and a huge crack going straight through the center of. It still made noise, so it's not ALL destroyed, but it's pretty much useless now. And now, with it's uselessness, you are mad. The high left quicker than it usually does as you lay it back on the floor and putting your weapon on your side. Looks like it's rampage time.

== Cuz: Prepare your rampage

You pick up the sodas, chips, and a few more blunts before catching sight of the Alchemiter in the corner of the room. You have an idea. It's a dumb idea, but it's an idea. You card all of the items and put them in the Punch thingy. You take a few Dowels and start making some quick Totems. You do the thing and in a few moments you have a good months worth of everything, and even moreso of pot. That's when another thought comes to mind. You pick up the Fallout case and punch it. Then, you put your machete into a card and punch it. You make one Totem with the machete from before, and one with the combination of machete and the game. You equip the new machete and get a quick feel of it. You wait for another Imp to come in before doing the same flick from before. Although, this time the disc was green and the explosion was a hell of a lot bigger and hotter. Nuclear Destructo Disc shooting machete. This is it.

You quickly grab all of your things and toss on your gas mask from before. You open the door and look across the Land, seeing that it is mostly flatlands with hills here and there. Perfect for a quick rampage joyride. Speaking of, you go over to your El Camino which somehow came into this game with you and Jazz. You toss all of the Mountain Dew and Doritos into the passenger seat and pot in the glove compartment. You are either gonna die from Imps or heart attack. Either way, you are destroying something. An eye for an eye, or in this case, one random important thing of one random important thing. You about hop in before bring greeted by the Sprite once again.

Cuz: Oh, hey Sprite dude.

Cuz: I'll be back later, keep the place clean.

Dewottsprite: Oh, may I ask where you're going?

Cuz: One of those Imp dickbafs broke my TV.

Cuz: So now I have an El Camino full of rampage and I am going to be back later.

Cuz: If Jazz comes back tell her I went to take of some shit, and use those exact words.

Cuz: She'll know what it means.

Dewottsprite: W-wait, what?

Dewottsprite: You can't do that, this is an extremely dangerous landscape!

Dewottsprite: You will more than likely die out there!

Cuz: Don't care.

You start up the car and toss on some sunglasses over your mask. You start to quickly back out of what was left of the driveway, before crushing a can and throwing it at the Sprite and flipping him off and yell.

Cuz: Fuck bitches, get money!

== Cuz: Enjoy a calm evening drive

With that final, rather rude comment, you slam on the gas and go down the field, making sure to avoid all of the glowing acid lakes and making sure _not_ to avoid the Imps and some new lizard looking things. You keep going for a while, maybe about an hour, and see nothing all that interesting. You have a nice trail of Grist and other giant video game currency to keep a line of where you've been. At least you won't get lost out here. It's hard to do that, considering it's pretty much one huge hilly plains with a few pond. You decide to take a quick moment to pop open another Mountain Dew and chug the whole thing down, crushing and aiming carefully at a new target you found.

A taller black figure, this one without any extra attachments like the Imps, stood at the edge of quite possibly the largest acid lake you've found so far. You slow down a little and throw the can, hitting the new figure right in the back of the head. Instead of the normal explosion into Grist like the Imps, the new thing grabs it's head and let's out a semi-loud grunt of pain. Hearing this, you quickly slow and turn around, coming up close to the figure. At this distance, you can tell that their a female, or at least hella feminine wearing some kind of crown thing. She was about a foot shorter than you and held what looked like a staff in her free hand, the other still holding onto her head. After a second you do something that would be considered stupid. You unbuckle, open the door, and step out to greet the lady.

Cuz: Uh, hey there!

Cuz: Sorry 'bout that, chicka.

Cuz: Wasn't looking, you know how it is?

?: No, I don't know what it is.

Yeah, you are now ninety percent certain this is a girl from the pitch of her voice. Like, not even a femboy can get their voice like that. Nor could they get it that regal sounding. Is there royalty on this planet? Because she sounds, stands, and appears like someone that would be royal.

?: Just like how I don't know who you are and why you're here.

?: Explain yourself.

Cuz: Oh, right, sorry.

Cuz: Name's Marie Hattie, most badass woman from the planet Earth.

Cuz: Now the most badass on this piece of poison rock.

Cuz: And you are?

She looks you over for a second before laughing at you.

?: I'm sorry, _you're_ the most badass woman in this Land?

?: That's funny, you Earthlings are funny.

?: I, am the Black Princess of Derse.

BP: And right now, you are trespassing on Dersian territory.

Cuz: Oh, well excuse me Princess.

Cuz: But it wasn't really my idea to come here.

BP: Let me guess.

BP: A game brought you here?

BP: By the name of SBURB?

Cuz: Holy shit, yeah it did!

Cuz: How'd you know?

BP: This isn't the first time this has happened.

BP: I can tell you the history of Derse, Skaia, and the game if you want.

BP: But first, there is a minor Imp problem behind us.

She points and you turn around, seeing a number of Imps and lizard things clambering over the hill.

Cuz: Ah, so there is.

Cuz: Care to do this the human way, your Highness?

BP: The human way?

Cuz: I got an El Camino full of soda, chips and marijuana.

Cuz: Hop in, I'll move some things around and we can run these bastards down.

BP: Miss Hattie.

BP: I like the way you think.

Cuz: Aw, yeah.

Cuz: Fuck bitches, get money!

BP: I like that.

BP: That is a nice phrase.

BP: Fuck bitches, get money!


	25. Chapter 25: Lunch

== Cuz: Drive around

With the new royal passenger, you keep enjoying your rampage by running over the Imps and lizard things. Basalisks is what the Princess told you they're called. They don't like creatures from Greek mythology. EIther way, they give an obviously larger amount of Grist than the Imps, but you still can't pick them up. Geez, is anyone even making things or building? It's almost like everyone's stagnant until they become relevant again instead of doing shit. At least you have a trail back to your house. Maybe you should head back so you can talk in a slightly less deadly area. Nah, riding and killing is the proper way to do things. Speaking of talking, this Princess has been going on for a while and you've been not paying any attention whatsoever. Ok, jumping in now wouldn't be a very big problem.

BP: ...and then my dad kills my uncle, and then tramples around Skaia.

BP: There, he will continue to destroy and burn until the Reckoning happens.

BP: At that point, everything ends.

BP: Just... just fucking ends.

BP: And then...

BP: Huh, give me a second...

Cuz: What?

Cuz: Acid getting to your head?

BP: No, this Land doesn't affect me.

BP: It's just...

BP: I don't know what happens next actually.

BP: Just, everything turns back to right before the war started.

BP: But with new Lands and a new Skaia.

BP: It's weird.

Cuz: Oh...

Cuz: So, wait a second.

Cuz: You've been through this shit before?

BP: Yep, no idea how many times, but I've lived through it.

BP: The exact same shit over, and over, and over again...

Cuz: Dude, that sounds terrible.

BP: Yeah, it is.

BP: Oh, three Imps to the left.

She points to the left side of the window and directs your attention to the group of creatures. You smirk and quickly jerk the wheel to line them all up. You floor it and hit all three of them at once, exploding into the black ink-blood stuff and Grist. This will never not be fun.

BP: Yeah bitch!

BP: This is awesome!

Cuz: Better than just hanging out in front of a lake?

BP: Ehh, top three at best.

Cuz: Oh, haha Princess.

Cuz: This is badass and you know it.

BP: Yeah, it is and yeah I do.

BP: Shit, I am hungry.

Cuz: We got chips and Mountain Dew.

BP: Yeah... no.

BP: I'm sure it's good but I mean for like real food.

Cuz: Buzzkill.

Cuz: Ok, I have food back at my house.

BP: Wait a second...

BP: There's a town near here, let's go there.

Cuz: Oh, an alien town on a planet filled with acid lakes and bright enough that I'm almost blind.

Cuz: This'll be fun.

BP: That's he spirit!

BP: You're gonna want to take a right just over that hill, past the pond.

== Cuz and BP: Go to the town

You drive and listen to the Princess, keeping the patter of killing Imps in check. For roughly fifteen minutes you drive before finally coming across a small town, more of a village, at the base of a hill. It is a very... simple village to say the least. Two rows of house facing each other with a few separate buildings on the outskirts. The only thing not consistent is that all the houses looked like they were from different places in history. Got some Greek, Egyptian, Gothic, all kinds of shit. Almost looks like that little village from The Cutie Map episode. Why did you know such a detail from an episode of a cartoon made for children? Not important. What is, is that there is probably actual food down there which will make your passenger shut up. No place to park it looks like so... You drive up and simply stop right out the main road. You both hop out and lock the car, making sure to keep the keys close to you. Never know what kinda people hang out in this weird town.

At least, you do know one thing about that. These 'people' are not actually people but instead purple and blue cat things. They're cute, but kind of small. Like, only coming up to your thighs. They must be a little bit intelligent because of the advanced architecture, so they should at least have some eadable food. You think. You have been fooled by stupid people before. Freaking voting for that orange dipshit thinking he knew what he was doing... That made you the idiot. Anything, what were you doing? Right, going into the town to find food. You and the Princess make your ways between the rows of buildings and finally find one that looks a little restaurant like.

== Cuz and BP: Go eat

Before you can step inside, you hear someone yelling to you.

Jazz: holy shit, Cuz!

Jazz: what are you doing here?

Cuz: What?

Cuz: Oh shit!

Cuz: What's up little dude?

Cuz: What are you doing here?

Jazz: just got done doing stupid side quests

Jazz: taking things from one place to another

Jazz: a lot of things that can be easily done by the people that gave me the things

Cuz: Oh my God, you were doing fetch quests?

Cuz: You were right, Princess.

Cuz: This place is nothing more than a giant video game.

BP: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold up a second.

BP: You.

BP: Girl thing.

Jazz: the name's Jazz, nice to meet you!

BP: Shut up.

BP: You're a player.

BP: What's your moon?

Jazz: my...

Jazz: what?

BP: Moon.

BP: Derse or Prospit.

BP: Which one do you dream in?

You look at her and notice her hand slip into her pockets. What she did next was a little unnerving. She quickly pulled out a knife and held it up to Jazz, asking the question again.

Jazz: uhh, i, uh...

Jazz: i don't know!

Jazz: i don't even know what that is!

Cuz: Whoa, BP, calm your tits bitch!

BP: Hmm...

BP: You obviously haven't been there yet.

BP: Go to sleep, tell me where you wake up.

Jazz: what?

Cuz: What?

BP: Shut up.

BP: Let's eat first.

BP: The player is paying.

Jazz: oh, sure...

Jazz: my stupid fetch questing can pay for the subpar food these Consorts have

Jazz: i mean, it's not like you're a princess

BP: I ain't got no Boonbucks.

BP: What royal Dersite just caries around money?

Jazz: that is a very good point

Jazz: another good point is that i don't have Boon _bucks_

Jazz: i have Boon _dollars_

BP: Oh, shut up.

BP: That isn't going to be relevant once you Time bitch starts doing the, uh...

BP: Whatever it's called with the LoFaF lotery.

BP: Let's get some food.

== Cuz, Jazz and BP: Eat

All three of you enter the restaurant and are seated by a small tiger almost immediately. It's hard to tell what the place is meant to be like considering how mixed and wild the interior is. It has the same Greek architecture, but with a lot of Egyptian and modern western art. Very weird. These guys have no style coordination. And the food on the menu didn't really make much sense either. It was written kinda childish but cute. You actually need the Princess to read most of it, but in the end you all three get some kind of acid fish tacos. Mmm, fish tacos. Shit, can I ditch early and go get lunch? No? Oh, screw you!

You all wait for a few minutes and eventually get your food. Somehow, this looks better than the tacos at that Mexican place back in Seattle. Good job, El Panchos. You got outdid by tigers on a planet in a video game that destroyed the universe. Fuck you, El Panchos. You watch as the Princess pretty much downs the entire thing at once before taking your own bite. And, holy shit, this is good. Like, ok, fuck everything on Earth this takes first place. That is, until your mouth borderline catches on fire. The after taste of the taco hits harder than you did with your car on those Imps. Like, Jesus, that is like the equivalent of see Chris Hemsworth wet and half naked. Not fully naked, but that half naked shit. That real hot shit. Moving on from that, you take and down the entire glass of, what you assume is, water to a point you can't breath.

After nearly dying via fire tonge, you force yourself to eat the rest of the taco. It burns the same, but you are willing to take it. It's an ends justify the means situation, but with tacos. The flavor is almost like salmon, but with a hint of... you want to say oregano and pepper. Does this place have Earth spices? Most be some kind of alien alternative, but it's good either way up until the burn hits again. You all finish after a few minutes and relaxed against the uncomfortable chairs. Maybe you should talk about what's going on. Specifically, what that whole dream and Prospit or Derse thing is about.

Cuz: Uh, hey, BP?

BP: Yo?

Cuz: What was that whole deal with dreaming and moons about?

BP: Oh, right.

BP: This Land is revolving around a planet called Skaia, the center of the universe.

BP: In between the Lands and Skaia is one bright yellow moon called Prospit.

BP: Filled with a lot of peace loving pussies.

BP: Way, way, waaay out of the Lands is a purple moon.

BP: My home, Derse.

Jazz: ok, but what does that have to do with me and dreaming?

BP: I'm getting there, Player.

BP: Geez, you have the patience of a Prospitian.

BP: Anyways, when a player goes to sleep they will awaken on one of the two moons.

BP: Those that awake on Prospit are fighters that work greater as leaders.

BP: And vice verse for Derse.

Jazz: oh...

Jazz: well, i think i'm a pretty good fighter with my laser pen.

Jazz: would that mean i'm a Prospit dreamer?

Jazz: but then again, i was voted to be the leader so...

BP: Just go to sleep and you'll find out.

Cuz: Oh, that should be easy.

Cuz: Little dude can't stay awake after eating something!

Jazz: Cuz!

BP: Hey, it's cool Player.

BP: I have a sleeping thing myself.

BP: Now, pay for our lunch then get in the El Camino to take a nap.

BP: There, you'll figure shit out.

Jazz: sounds like a plan because i have been weirdly tired since i got here

BP: Yep, that's the game working on ya.

BP: It makes the players tired so they would be on their moons more often.

BP: More or less an extremely important part of the game.

Jazz: yay, important things!

BP: You are way too cheery for my liking.

Cuz: Oh my God, I know.

Cuz: Imagine having to live with that for fifteen years.

Jazz: don't you mean seventeen?

Cuz: Uhh...

Cuz: How old are you?


	26. Chapter 26: Nap Time

Jazz: Go take a nap

After paying for you three's lunch, your small group goes back to the outskirts of town to your cousin's car. After a quick talk about what to do, everyone decides you should just take the entire seat to sleep. Meanwhile, the other two are going to meander around a little and maybe do some sidequesting of themselves. After moving off all of the soda and snacks and... blunts? Where the hell did they get weed here? Whatever, questions for later. Either way, you lay flat and close your eyes. After a few minutes, you could actually feel yourself go to sleep unlike normally when you pass out like nothing. As quickly as you pass out, you feel yourself waking up again.

== Jazz: Dream

You wake and sit up slowly on the bed you find yourself on. It's a pretty comfy bed, although the colors could be better. You never liked yellow. Looking around, you notice that everything in this room is a golden yellow. As well as an almost exact copy of your room back at your house. The same posters, the same bookshelf, the same everything really. That is a little bit unnerving, but also relieving to be in a familiar setting. Well, almost familiar if it wasn't for the giant window on the right wall showing a strangely light sky. You step over to it and look outside, losing a breath seeing the amazing view of your new environment. There were several tall, yellow buildings that seem to have come from the gothic era of architecture, with the addition of three different towers next to yours. They were all basically the same, tall and skinny with a giant sphere at the top with identical windows.

You look up and instantly notice the large planet above you, most likely that 'Skaia' the Princess was talking about. It's overwhelming, but also beautiful. One of the more notable things is the clouds floating about that displayed several different scenes. There were so many you couldn't make many of them out. You are able to see what looks like your cousin and the Black Princess smoking right outside of the El Camino, there's a scene with the twins reading a book with a grey and blue swirled cover, and the most obvious one you saw was of Firyut beating an Imp to death with a stick. Looking over these, you could actually notice one cloud in particular that was clear as all day.

== Jazz: Watch the cloud

You lean out the window to get a better look at the vision. It looked to be Vlad, but instead wearing some kind of yellow pajamas. He was standing over a large glowing green lake, obviously on LoAaL, and holding two swords. Two light-blue blood covered swords. His outfit and face were also covered in the same blood, with a very large amount around his mouth. Right, Vampire's drink blood. He turned his head to look at... you. It was a version of you that was wearing a green and cyan outfit and was extremely pale. It looked like you two were talking about something, something noticeably upsetting. You both look down before you finally jump and start floating away. Vlad, on the other hand, turned all the way around to show a large pair of very bat-like wings sticking out of shoulderblades. He flaps his wings down and is thrown far into the air, going out of the cloud picture. That causes the cloud to go completely white.

== Jazz: Think about the vision

What is there to think about? You and Vlad were wearing weird pajamas and the latter was covered in blue blood. Wait a second... blue blood? Which one of the Trolls had that color text and symbol color? Let's see, Saylen had the plum, Firyut had some kind of orange, Mistuo was moss... that leaves the twins and Cavdit. Holy shit, did Vlad murder the twins? Or even worse, did he murder Cavdit? Wait, why do you think Cavdit dead was worse? You mean, he is pretty cool kind of but... Wait, no! Anyone dead would be terrible! Ok, let's deduce from the possible options. You recall Cav saying something about ' _Sapphire Stre/\/ght'_ , and to your knowledge sapphire isn't a light color blue so that means Ridams and Yttrim are dead. But, they can't be dead because you are here and Vlad is not in the game yet. And here you thought the Silver storyline in Sonic '06 was annoying and confusing. While you think about this, start to feel the window sill underneath you fall away slowly.

== Jazz: Look down

You take a look down and realise that you were leaning a little farther than you planned to while cloud watching. So much so that you have started to fall several stories. As anyone would do in this situation, you start to panic and scream with all thought leaving your mind. You forced yourself to look down where you saw the ground quickly getting larger and closer. In a moment of pure adrenaline and fear, you push out your arms and close your eyes. Doing so, you felt your body perk hard, giving you a very painful hit of whiplash. Confused and possibly even more scared than when you were falling, you reopen your eyes and see you had somehow stopped midair, roughly twenty feet from the golden floor.

You think for a second before realizing something. This place is like a dreamscape. You can float and probably do a lot of other things with some practice, making you a pseudo-god in here. You straighten yourself upright and focus, lowering yourself onto the ground. As you do, you hear a faint slow clapping come from behind you. You could feel the sarcasm right now, without even a need to talk to the unknown clapper.

== Jazz: Meet the stranger

You turn around to be greeted by a starch white person wearing some kind of mask, one that resembled a Troll but with features and horns you couldn't recognize. The mask had the normal grey of Troll skin with long, black hair falling the sides. Our of the hair were a pair of curly, almost ram-like horns. Beyond the mask, you could see a pair of crimson red eyes almost stab at you from a set of holes. The person was about your size give or take a couple inches taller, and noticeably thin, almost to a point of malnourishment. In general, this person was creepy and unnerving. They were still clapping as they picked himself off of the tower and stepped towards you.

?: Well, well, well, the Maid can fly.

?: Who would have guess?

The persons voice was incredibly gravely, nearly making you cringe with each word. It was hard, but you could tell that this person was a male through the graining voice.

?: Good, less I'd have to deliver you to your Sacramental Slab.

?: So, what finally compelled you to take a trip to Prospit?

?: Interest?

?: Just taking a nap?

?: Or did the old princess of Derse tell you to?

Jazz: uhh...

Jazz: i, uh, i'm sorry i need a second.

Jazz: first off, who are you?

?: Ah, right.

?: My apologies Miss Maid.

?: I go by Accursed.

Accursed: I already know who you are, Jazzmyne Hattie of planet Earth, player of the game SBURB, and currently residing on the Land of Acid and Rain.

Accursed: Glad to meet you.

Accursed holds out his hand to shake. Now that you can see them properly, his hands were whithered a little and pieces of skin were falling off. But, you reluctantly shake it only to feel a heavy weight as the Prospitians hand slips out of the sleeve. As anyone would do in this situation, you scream and drop it, getting a scratchy laugh out of Accursed.

Accursed: Ahahah!

Accursed: Oh, I love doing that.

Accursed: So, why you here?

Jazz: oh, uh...

Jazz: yeah, the Black Princess told me to sleep.

Jazz: find out which moon i was a dreamer of.

Jazz: and considering everything here is so bright and yellow and the clouds with Skaia, i take this is...

Accursed: Prospit!

Holy fuck. Yelling was even worse with his voice. This is going to take some time to get used to.

Accursed: Best moon in all of the Incipisphere.

Accursed: Although, since there are only two, that bar isn't really set that high, but whatever.

Accursed: It's pretty amazing.

Jazz: uhuh...

Accursed: You're still freaking out aren't ya?

Jazz: just letting everything catch up properly.

Jazz: yeah, ok, y'know what?

Jazz: i think i'm good now.

Jazz: i am good.

Jazz: so, uh... Accursed?

Jazz: cool name.

Accursed: Thanks.

Accursed: Got it for my birthday.

Jazz: oh dear lord...

Accursed: Ahahah, I love doing that.

Accursed: Look, if you want to know about it there isn't all that much.

Accursed: Found out I could curse people, started cursing people, changed my name and got a mask.

Accursed: Boom, origin story.

Accursed: Let's move on.

Jazz: well then...

Jazz: best damn origin story i've heard in a long time.

Jazz: and what do you mean curse people?

Accursed: You see my eyes?

Jazz: you mean the laser pointers in your ask?

Jazz: yes i do.

Accursed: When I curse people, they glow.

Accursed: Pretty much all there is to it.

Jazz: hmmm.

Jazz: secretive one, aren't you?

Accursed: Couldn't have gotten as far in life I had if I told the truth.

Jazz: wow, you live by that or something?

Accursed: Damn right I do.

Accursed: Pretty much my life philosophy.

Accused: Lie often so you don't die as often.

Jazz: _as_ often?

Jazz: how many times can one person die?

Accursed: Hey, you never know.

Jazz: yeah, i kinda do.

Jazz: sometimes, very rarely, someone might get lucky and come back.

Jazz: but twice is the most i think anyone would ever live.

Jazz: any more than that is just idiotic and crazy.

Accursed: What if you die more than twice?

Jazz: please, if i die i plan on staying dead.

Jazz: i mean, what is someone just going to pull a Cinderella and bring me back to life via kiss?

Accursed: Ok, ok, I get it.

Accursed: Dying more than once is stupid and probably not going to happen.

Jazz: exactly.


	27. Chapter 27: Land-xploration Pt 2

== Saylens: Explore a bit

During your time in the game, you have noticed that your hive has grown in size quite a bit. You talked to Jazz earlier while she was side questing or whatever and found out that the main way to progress is by passing through what are called Gates. For a while, she's just been making a giant spiral staircase around your tower. Don't know how you're going to the roof to walk up the stairs, but something will happen. As of now, you're really unsure on what to do. Mistuo said he'd rather figure out the lay of his Land and there's no need to build, and the twins, mainly Ridams, refuses any assistance. The only thing you can think of is...

Future!Saylen: a[right, i'm b(o)red

Future!Saylen: ki[[ing g(o)t b(o)ring

Future!Saylen: [et's g(o) t(o) t(o)wn

Saylen: t(o)wn?

Future!Saylen: yeah, every p[ayer has a basic t(o)wn at [east ha[f a mi[e away

Future!Saylen: but we have a [itt[e advantage here

Saylen: (o)h?

Future!Saylen: in the midd[e (o)f the t(o)wn is a giant h(o)[[(o)w tree

Future!Saylen: at the t(o)p is (o)ur quest bed

Future!Saylen: f(o)r s(o)me reas(o)n (o)ur game d(o)esn't rec(o)gnize the echeladder

Future!Saylen: even th(o)ugh it's [ike an extreme[y imp(o)rtant part (o)f the game

Future!Saylen: but (o)ur game is g[itched t(o) a[[ he[[

Future!Saylen: anyways

Future!Saylen: if y(o)u wanted y(o)u c(o)u[d ascend right n(o)w

Saylen: ascend?

Saylen: that g(o)t s(o)mething t(o) d(o) with the wings and stubid pajamas?

Future!Saylen: yes indeed it d(o)es

Future!Saylen: i'[[ exp[ain it when we get there

Future!Saylen: [et's g(o)

Saylen: wait sh(o)u[dn't we te[[ the d(o)ct(o)r first?

Future!Saylen: fuck n(o)

Future!Saylen: he's a sprite wh(o) cares

Future!Saylen: we d(o)n't even kn(o)w where he went

Future!Saylen: n(o)w c[(o)se y(o)ur face h(o)[e and c(o)me (o)n

Your future selves voice was growing rather stern the more she went on with this. You were actually a little nervous from her. Well, you know better than anyone else that you can't win an argument with yourself. You shrug and stand up, picking up your Sonic Blunder and new set of jewelry. Since you had an influx of Grist you decided to make a few more bits of bling. A bracelet with your sign to hang on your horn, three rings, each with an oceanographic symbol, and a locket necklace that has a group picture of you, Firyut, Mistuo and Cavdit. Got to look good if you're going to destroy and save the universe. You nod to yourself and start out the front door of your hive. With a look around you are already a little unnerved. You've never been in the jungles of Alternia but you've heard horrible things so you are obviously on edge. You jump feeling your future self grab your shoulder and turn you to her.

Future!Saylen: i kn(o)w what y(o)u're thinking

Future!Saylen: there ain't shit (o)ut here

Future!Saylen: p[ace is safer than y(o)ur hive

You simply smile and keep walking. Good to know you try to keep yourself calm in this weird place.

== Saylens: Find the village

You two basically wonder in one direction for almost and hour to the great discovery of... more forest. You make several sarcastic remarks to yourself, but are quickly met with something along the lines of ' _i'm y(o)u dipshit. if i'm a dumbass y(o)u're a bigger dumbass._ ' Now that shut you up one hell of a lot. A few minutes after your last shutting up moment, your future self tells you to stop. She then says she has to take a piss in a serious but also joking manner, and then she leaves into the woods. Well, like any good teenage royalblood with a rebellious history you will stay right here and wait.

Who the hell are you kidding? The second your future self leaves, you quickly look around for a direction to explore in. You aren't going to ditch her, just have some fun and be back before she returns. And you have a decent amount of time too, considering you know your bodies urinary issues. Ok, why did I have to read that? There is literally no one that is going to enjoy that sentence. I-ok, ok, you know what, fuck you, I have a job to do. *Ahem* You look around and suddenly find a larger than normal clearing along the path. You would normally look over something like that, but there was a weird sensation that puled you into it. The farther in you walked, the stronger the sensation became, up until you are greeted by a number of tiny dragonflies swarming a strange structure.

== Saylen: Approach the structure

Carefully, you walk to the base of the building and look it over some. Well, as best you can look it over considering it towers a good three hundred or so feet into the air. It was shaped like a normal cylindrical pillar with a number of tick marks on the side of it. Of the few you could see, the ticks were labled at every fifty foot point. In the center of the pillar going straight up was a smaller pillar that reached to the top. At the base of this middle pillar was a pedastal, roughly a foot in diameter on the edge of a first-class lever with another pedestal on the other side. It takes you longer than it should, but you are finally hit with realization. This is one of those test your strength attractions from a carnival! This is the first part of this Land that fits its name. The Land of Forests and Festivals was missing a bit of its 'Festival' features.

You take a few steps back to try and get a better look at the top of it. It's hard, but you are able to make out a circular top with a hole in the bottom of it. On top of the circular base was some kind of cone you want to say? It looked triangular and pointed to the sky. Actually, not much the sky but rather the giant planet thing that's been in the center of the sky ever since you got here. Like, perfect angle as well. Wait, if this is a test your strength machine, then where is the counter-weight and hammer?

== Saylen: Find the missing parts

You step around the machine and look around, finding a strange mound of vines and grass in a large, oddly shaped mound. You kneel down and tug a little at the vines, feeling them fall away immediately. After a few seconds of digging, you finally unearth what could only be the hammer for the contraption. It was large to say the least, being a little bit taller than you in height. The handle was fairly thick, about as big as your forearm with a very faded blue-and-white spiral going along the length. The head of the hammer is what caught your attention the most. It was huge, about the size of a large T.V. with the mid portion being two-shoeboxes big. The end was a curve with a large yellow ball on it. The entire thing was faded from time and nature, but you could still make out a faint blue color to it. You dust it off a little before finding a small symbol on the part where the handle met the head. It was near impossible to make out, you are able to see that it is a very large 'Z'. Z, now what could that stand for?

Future!Saylen: SAY[EN!

You jump quickly before turning around, hearing you scream from back in the woods. You don't know why, but you feel you want to keep this place a secret from her. You start your way back towards the path, swatting away the bugs before entering the clearing again. You take a quick turn and and head back to where you left your future self earlier. She looked kinda pissed. It's ok, because you are an amazing liar.

Saylen: s(o)rry ab(o)ut that

Saylen: th(o)ught we were taking a piss break

Future!Saylen: yeah, i was

Future!Saylen: where did y(o)u g(o)?

Saylen: uh, t(o) take a piss?

Saylen: i am in the midd[e (o)f g(o)gkn(o)ws where

Saylen: where e[se w(o)u[d i g(o)?

She looks at you for a second, noticeably grinding her fangs. Eventually she shakes her head and starts walking again.

Future!Saylen: yeah, yeah, whatever

Future!Saylen: the vi[[age is just up (o)ver this hi[[

She points down the exact same hill you came down from before walking up it. Confused, you take after her. For a few minutes you simply walk before accidentally bumping into you-two. She growls before turning to look at you in the eye.

Future!Saylen: we[p, here we are!

Future!Saylen: [(o)(o)k up

== Saylen: [(o)(o)k up

She raises her arms to the sky, motioning for you to look up. When you do you are taken back by what you saw. You were just under here not five minutes again, yet you somehow missed the very numerous wooden platforms. Across the tops of the forest was an entire city of colorful circus tents on top of wooden platforms with rope bridges connecting them. Along the sides of the platforms and bridges were the familiar circus lights. And just like the lights in the forest, these were all turned off. You follow the line of bridges and lights before you see the absolutely colossal tree at the very end of the tree line. Must be what your future self was talking about.

Without even acknowledging her, you start towards the tree and look it over. It was an old tree, obviously, that towered over literally everything in the entire area. It appeared to be even taller then the test your strength machine. At the base of the tree was a large opening going into some kind of room.

== Saylen: Enter the tree

You don't know why, but this place called out to you. You push open the door and find a very large yet empty room with two sets of staircases, one going up and one going down. Let's see, your future self steps in behind you and taps your shoulder.

Future!Saylen: yeah, if we want t(o) pr(o)gress pr(o)perly, d(o)wnstairs

Future!Saylen: if y(o)u want badass g(o)d p(o)wers, upstairs

Saylen: uh...

Saylen: screw it, [et's d(o) pr(o)gressi(o)n

You could hear a faint, almost growling sound come from your future self, but you toss it off as nothing. You walk to the end of the room and grab the railing. You could do this the normal was or the fun way...

== Saylen: Go down the fun way

You hop onto the railing and sit down before sliding down it. You probably should have checked out the distance because you quickly gain a lot of speed. You watch as the wooded walls circle around you, before eventually flying off and hitting the floor hard. For no reason at all, you just lay face first on the ground. Eventually, you feel a slight kicking in your side that picks you up. You tilt your to see your future self grinning down at you.

Future!Saylen: yeah, i did the same thing t(o)(o)


	28. Cavdit: Enter

== Cavdit: Get pissed off

Like you need a command for that. You've been sitting here for hours, doing absolutely nothing other than watching season 3 of Rick and Morty and trying to figure out this retarded circuit on the Tu/\/\or card. You want to play a fucking video game dammit! In your moment of frustration you throw the card clear across the temple room, unintentionally hitting your Lusus who just entered. Oh God... As expected, your Pandapop gets pissed at you. And with getting pissed he trudges to and gets up on his hind legs, standing over you. You close your eyes and clench your teeth waiting for the large and burning hit across the face, leaving a huge pure blue bruise almost instantly. You hold yourself back as you look back up, seeing him back on all fours and leaving the temple again. You have no idea why he came in, he does this bullshit all the time. Once you could see he's far enough away you look down and close your eyes one more time, making a stream of tears fall from all fours eyes. You don't know why you stay with this fucking Lusus, you can leave whenever you want. Whatever, you don't fucking care anyways. You reach up and feel a thick trickle of blue blood coming from a huge scratch. Fucker.

You realize that you have nothing to do for the time being, you decide to take matters into your own hands. You open up the CD port of the computer and put in the game, closing it hard as hell. You close down all of your other tabs and bring up the loading screen, being met with a blue spirograph and a little bar at the bottom. And the bar is loading extremely, extremely slowly. Holy shit, this is going slower than everyone else's. Well, if you were to contact ant of these idiots now would be the time to do it. Now, what was the order again? Ah shit, that's right. It's Firyut right now. Oh wait, it's Firyut right now. This could work out for you. You slide over and open up Trollian.

== Cavdit: Contact Firyut

quadriclopsRapper [QR] began trolling rodentialAstoundant [RA]

QR: \/\/haddup Firyut?

RA: w#at do you want?

QR: \/\/ell, I'/\/\ /\/ot sure if you are a\/\/are but,

QR: I a/\/\ atte/\/\pti/\/g to get i/\/to the ga/\/\e right /\/o\/\/.

QR: A/\/d to do that, I \/\/ould /\/eed you to put /\/\e i/\/.

QR: /\/o\/\/, you \/\/ould/\/'t \/\/a/\/t your Kis/\/\esis to \/\/ait, \/\/ould you?

RA: ok t#ree t#ings

RA: one im not your kismesis

RA: two ill put you in in a second

RA: t#ree fuck you

QR: I'/\/\ defi/\/etly getting so/\/\e black feeli/\/gs right /\/o\/\/.

QR: ;;)

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has blocked quadriclopsRapper [QR]

QR: Yeah, you're black for /\/\e.

You wait a few moments and watch the loading bar fill up almost instantly. With the filled bar comes an explosion outside of your hive. You stand up and look out the window, getting all four eyes blinded by bright red light. Once your vision settles you look up to see an asteroid falling towards you. You are a little hyped up for this. You waited for so goddamn long and now you are thrown directly into the action! And with the action comes the usual BS the reader has come to expect, so we shall skip to after everything is placed and built.

== Reader: Skip forward a few minutes

You look down at the small item on top of the Alchemiter. It was a dark blue candle, only about three inches tall with an extra inch of whisk on top. Well, if gaming has told you anything the only was to progress is set it on fire and wait. Which is just what you do! You set down the candle and grab a lighter, lighting it up like fireworks on New Sweeps Eve. You kinda just sit there for five minutes as the wax drips all the way off and finally disappearing. When it does, there is a large blue flash that completely blinds you. You open your eyes and... honestly, feel a little better about things. Like, not that everything's going to work out, but you have higher hopes that it'll work out. Is that weird? No, the weird part is that you hear some kind of... you want to say ribbiting outside?

Well, before you can go explore you have to make yourself some better weapons and such. You hop off the Alchemiter and rush towards the Punch Designx. First thing you need is your Brass Knuckles. Punched. Next, this is the important part... You just remembered something. What was it you said you never knew if you'd need extra of? Batteries! Punched. But, that won't be all. You pick up some spare nails you always keep on top of your desk. Punched. Now, to the Totem Lathe! You take out a few of the Dowels and put them on the machine. First off, you combine the punched nails and punched knuckles and combine them. You make and take the Totem to the Alchemiter and place it on the pedastal. Next thing you know, you have some Spiked Knuckles. Now, to combine them with the batteries. You do the exact same thing and put the next Totem on the same pedastal. And now, boom! Spiked Shockers. Damn, that's a cool name for these. Well, now what? It would be easier to figure out what to do if there wasn't crying outside. Wait a second, crying?

== Cavdit: Check out the crying

You equip your knuckles and walk out the front door. There isn't really anything around you can see immediately, but you still hear the crying. What you do see outside, however, is quite an amazing sight. Green hills going on for miles with a lot of giant, awkwardly shaped ponds of green water. Wait a second... those look like clover shaped. Clover shaped ponds with ribbiting? That seems famila-wait a second, the wall pictures! This is one of the Lands on your wall! Let's see, if you remember correctly this is LoFaL, the 'L' must stand for 'Luck' since the ponds are clovers and those are associated with luck for some reason, now what can the 'F' stand for, and what the fuck is still crying!? You rush around the outline of your temple hive and stop seeing what, actually who, it was making the noise.

You fine, that at the edge of what is obviously your hive's barrier, was you Lusus. Only, except for having all four legs, it only had two. Mostly due to the fact it was cut completely in half by the buildings teleportation. The large beast was trying to crawl his way to the entrance, leaving a long trail of Sapphire blood behind it. You didn't feel bad to be honest. Like, you feel sad way deep down, but everything about you is saying '\/\/ho gi\/es a fuck?' Even so, you can't just watch this go on. Mostly because it's crying was loud as hell and annoying. There is really only one thing to do right now. Put the fucker out of his misery. Eventually.

After around five minutes of enjoying his loud suffering, you walk up to him and point your fist right at his head. You pull it back and punch, landing all three pointed spikes directly into his skull. You then press a button on the sides of the knuckles and send at least five thousand volts into it's body. You release the button and wait for your Lusus to stop twitching for another few minutes. After you do, gag a little as the smell of burned fur hitting your nostrils. You're... still a little underwhelmed about your emotions about what just happened. What you aren't confused about is that this seizure ball that's been following you needs to shut up. And, if what you gathered from Jazz prior, tossing in something will change the ball into a Sprite. And the only thing here is your Lusus, sooo... You put away your Spiked Shockers and grab one of the front legs, twisting your body and throwing it into the ball. This causes another flash. After the flash, you open to see the large Sprite resemble your Pandapa. Before you can do anything, you feel a vibration come from one of your capturecards. You fill in the circuit and are given your husktop to find a message from Firyut of all people.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] began trolling quadriclopsRapper [QR]

RA: did you just kill

RA: your fucking lusus!?

QR: A/\/ hello to you too, Firyut.


	29. Chapter 29: Damned Dam

== Saylen: Figure out what to do

Once you are properly able to manage yourself after the fall, you take a look around the basement you're currently in. Almost instantaneously you can identify what it is. There are several control centers lining the far left wall, just like your own basement. There a deep trench with several turbines lining the center of it, just like your basement. To top it all off, there is a huge picture carving in the wooden floor, not like your basement, but it was plum-colored and shaped exactly like your symbol, where a large switch is in the center of the circular portion. Right where your master switch was. This is a goddamn underground hydroelectric generator. And here you are, thinking you were done with this shit. But nope! Here you are doing the same dipshittery you have for the past seven sweeps.

Since this looks almost like a carbon copy of your own dam, you go to the control panels to see why this thing isn't working. Well all of the readings are normal for a basic dam, minus a slight buildup of pressure. Ok, wait, no that is a lot more than a slight. It is amazing that this place hasn't blown up or flooded or something yet. Now the question is, where is the buildup? You turn to your future self and raise your hands in confusion.

Saylen: a[right, the he[[ is this f(o)r?

Future!Saylen: it's f(o)r the dam

Future!Saylen: the dam p(o)wers the p[anet

Saylen: s(o) i g(o)tta start this

Saylen: t(o) start everything e[se (o)n [(o)FaF?

Future!Saylen: yup

Future!Saylen: pretty much the gist (o)f it

Future!Saylen: g(o)(o)d thing y(o)u g(o)t me here

Future!Saylen: t(o)(o)k me (o)ver a week t(o) figure it (o)ut

Saylen: seri(o)s[y?

Saylen: s(o) freaking straightf(o)rward

Saylen: y(o)u dumb

Future!Saylen: im y(o)u dumbass!

Future!Saylen: y(o)u cant ca[[ y(o)urse[f a dumbass

Saylen: were b(o)th dumbasses!

Saylen: shut up and te[[ me what t(o) d(o)!

Future!Saylen: (o)k!

Future:Saylen: fuck

Future:Saylen: give me, [ike, five minutes

Saylen: why?

Future:Saylen: i need t(o) h(o)p back t(o) me time[ine

Future:Saylen: find what i did again

Future:Saylen: and c(o)me back s(o) i d(o)nt fuck y(o)u (o)ver

Future!Saylen: g(o)t it?

Saylen: yup

Saylen: i[[ just be here i guess

Future!Saylen: a[right, i[[ be right back

Future!Saylen: d(o)nt fuck shit up

With that, your future self takes a step back and closes her eye. She sort of just stands there for a second before a few streams of red energy starts to circle around her. The streams fully surround her before letting out a bright red flash, with an afterimage of a clock going backwards in its spot. When the light was gone, so was she and you were alone underground in some hydroelectric dam in a tree. Your life has gotten really interesting in the last four hours. But as of now, it is boring. What will you do?

== Saylen: Message a friend

You tap the side of your eyepatch and the tiny translucent screen floats in front of you. Now, who will you talk to? Maybe Jazz is up for a little chat. You go over and click on her name and send a little massage.

timelessOceanographer [TO] began trolling trainingInformant [TI]

TO: heeey jazzy!

TO: i g(o)t s(o)me time t(o) ki[[

TO: [ets ta[k (o)r s(o)me shit.

You wait for a few moments but nothing comes back. This is strange. Even if she's busy Jazz always replies quickly. Sometimes even a second after you send your message. Maybe you'll leave that open and go to another friend. Mistuo perhaps? You scroll down to his name and click it.

timelessOceanographer [TO] began trolling introvertedWordsmith [IWS]

TO: hey scarfy!

IWS: Greetings, Saylen!

IWS: It's been a minvte since we've talked.

TO: yes it has, yes it has

TO: h(o)ws y(o)ur end (o)f the game g(o)ing s(o) far?

IWS: -O-h, ab-o-vt as g-o-o-d as it can f-o-r s-o-me-o-ne that hates the heat stvck -o-n a v-o-lcan-o- planet!

IWS: Als-o- that hates c-o-v try mvsic and is f-o-rced t-o- listen t-o- it!

TO: w(o)ah fitera

TO: ca[m y(o)ur f(o)x h(o)rns a bit

IWS: Ap-o-l-o-gies, Saylen.

IWS: It's jvst this Land is getting t-o- me a little.

TO: s(o)rry t(o) hear that

TO: if its any c(o)ns(o)[ati(o)n, my experience is a [itt[e [ess than agreeab[e t(o)(o)

IWS: Why s-o-?

TO: apparent[y, part (o)f my quest requires me t(o) return t(o) my r(o)(o)ts

IWS: -O-h?

TO: i am current[y in an undergr(o)und hydr(o)e[ectric dam

TO: in a trees r(o)(o)t system

TO: that is identica[ t(o) my (o)wn

IWS: Wait, s-o-...

IWS: The r-o-o-t system is identical t-o- y-o-vrs, -o-r the dam?

TO: take a wi[d fucking guess

IWS: The dam?

TO: n(o) shit sher[(o)ck

IWS: ^*?*^

IWS: Sherl-o-ck?

TO: s(o)me tv character jazz t(o)[d me ab-o-vt

TO: a rea[[y fam(o)us detective i think?

IWS: Hey, Saylen, give me a sec-o-nd please.

TO: whats up?

IWS: I appear t-o- have f-o-vnd a l-o-cati-o-n -o-f interest.

TO: such as?

IWS: A t-o-wer at the t-o-p -o-f an vnatvrally tall v-o-lcan-o-.

IWS: It's blve and I like it.

IWS: I'm g-o-ing t-o- check it -o-vt.

TO: g(o)tcha g(o)tcha scrafy

IWS: Please st-o-p calling me that.

TO: n(o)

TO: scarfy

IWS: I swear, I will die bef-o-re y-o-v st-o-p w-o-n't I?

TO: yes y(o)u wi[[

IWS: Than I h-o-pe that day is s-o-o-n.

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has left the chat

Wow, he does not like that nickname if he's hoping his deathday is soon. Maybe you can throw him a death birthday party? A corpse party? Wait, isn't that some bad video game series? Not important. What is, is that it looks like Jazz bas finally responded! About damn time.

TI: heeey Say!

TI: sorry about that, i was talking to someone.

TI: cool guy on my moon.

TI: also, when you sleep you come to this weird planet place.

TI: i got the yellow one Prospit!

TI: helloooooo?

TO: hey!

TO: s(o)rry, i was ta[king to mistu(o)

TI: it's alright.

TI: how's the old fox boy doing?

TO: he hates his [and and f(o)und a t(o)wer (o)n a v(o)[can(o).

TI: ooo.

TI: volcano tower.

TI: sounds like a boss level to me!

TO: [ets h(o)pe n(o)t

TI: why not?

TO: scarfy aint a fighter

TO: and future me said that hes, [ike, (o)ur m(o)sr imp(o)rtant dude

TI: oh shit, you're right.

TI: let's hope it's only decorative then.

TO: (o)r a l(o)(o)t cache

TI: maybe an important quest location he found on accident?

TO: a dunge(o)n, fu[[ (o)f treasure!

TI: a bridges to connect all the Land!

TO: wait a sec

TO: we g(o)t way (o)ff track

TO: i was g(o)nna ask h(o)w y(o)ur game is g(o)ing s(o) far?

TI: it's actually going really well!

TI: i just got done doing some side questing and got some lunch.

TI: Cuz showed up with a princess!

TI: now i'm dreaming on a moon called Prospit and hanging out with this cool dude.

TI: he wears a mask and calls himself Acursed.

TO: huh…

TO: nice

TO: im undergr(o)und

TO: w(o)rking (o)n a dam

TI: damn.

TI: having fun?

TO: we[[ as (o)f right n(o)w im just waiting here

TO: future me had t(o) h(o)p back t(o) her time[ine

TO: apparent[y the bitch f(o)rg(o)t what the pr(o)b[em was

TI: Saylen!

TI: don't talk about yourself like that!

TO: what?

TI: you are not a bitch.

TO: n(o), shes the bitch

TO: as (o)f n(o)w, i am bitch[ess

TO: s(o)mething in the future makes me a bitch

TI: still though.

TI: i don't want to hear you call yourself a bitch again.

TO: uuugh, fine

TO: im n(o)t a bitch

TI: thank you.

TO: whatever

TO: but speaking (o)f bitches

TO: my future se[f is back

TI: tell her i said hi!

TI: i gotta get back to exploring this moon

TO: g(o)tcha g(o)tcha

TI: bye!

trainingInformant [TI] has left the chat

Just like you said, a bright red glow started shining where future you disappeared. After a second the glow explodes into light to show her again. She actually looked a little worse for wear now. The biggest thing being that her eyepatch was cut off and there was a large, still bleeding slash right above her eyebrow. She looked extremely pissed off, with her once covered eye leaking out the red aura of her powers. The red smoke coming off her even looked angry. How is that even a thing? Mad smoke, that's retarded! You're about to say that but are cut off by the literal stabbing from the glare she sends at you.

Future!Saylen: fuckers were waiting f(o)r me

Future!Saylen: g(o)gdamn ambush (o)n my end

Saylen: h(o)[y shit say[en

Saylen: h(o)w [(o)ng were y(o)u (o)ver there?

Future!Saylen: i think an h(o)ur?

Future!Saylen: a l(o)t l(o)nger than it was here i think

Saylen: he[[ yeah it was

Saylen: it was [ess than the time y(o)u said it be

Future!Sayley: yeah, we[[, at [east i remember what t(o) d(o)

Future!Saylen: y(o)u g(o)tta g(o) d(o)wn there

She points down the giant hallway the assumed river would come from.

Future!Saylen: and hydr(o)psi(o)nic the river back int(o) m(o)ving

Future!Saylen: then get the fuck back here t(o) bef(o)re the river sweeps y(o)u up and cuts y(o)u t(o) pieces

Saylen: because (o)f the turbines?

Future!Saylen: because (o)f the turbines yes

Saylen: a[right [ets d(o) this shit

Future!Saylen: n(o)t yet th(o)ugh

Future:Saylen: did mistu(o) c(o)ntact y(o)u at any p(o)int while i was g(o)ne?

Future:Saylen: i remember s(o)mething imp(o)rtant happening right n(o)w with him

Saylen: (o)h yeah

Saylen: i ca[[ed t(o) check up and hes at s(o)me t(o)wer (o)n a v(o)[can(o)

Future!Saylen: WHAT!?

Future!Saylen: fuck, n(o) n(o) n(o), this is t(o)(o) damn s(o)(o)n!

Future!Saylen: (o)k, [(o)(o)k, i have t(o) g(o) t(o) [(o)MaV quick

Future!Saylen: can y(o)u hand[e y(o)urse[f here?

Saylen: i-

Saylen: wait-

Saylen: what?

Future!Saylen: can y(o)u hand[e y(o)urse[f a[(o)ne?

Saylen: yes!

Future!Saylen: g(o)(o)d

Future!Saylen: i[[ be back

Saylen: w(o)w

Future!Saylen: what?

Saylen: seri(o)us[y just g(o)ing t(o) [eave (o)n a Terminat(o)r reference?

Saylen: c(o)me fr(o)m the future, te[[ me a [(o)t (o)f ha[fassed ex[anti(o)ns and [eave with that [ine?

Future!Saylen: hey

Future!Saylen: fuck y(o)u

And with that, your future self fully spreads out her wings and starts unnecessarily flying up the stairs. Leaving you to your own devices, both figuratively and literally.


	30. Chapter 30: Group Chat Redux

== Cavdit: Observe your hive

You walk back inside to notice there is a number of… alterations to the walls. Not structures that Firyut put in, but text appearing next to the previous writing. And they all appear to be some form of computer codes. Damn, this is hard to read in stone. Alright, if you have this right then… you need to get everyone on the group chat. This is some serious shit actually! At least for the moment.

== Cavdit: Go to the chat

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has joined the chat

Cavdit: Yo, dipshits.

Cavdit: A/\/yo/\/e o/\/?

Saylen: sup

Mistuo: Yes!

Mistuo: G-o-o-d thing I was checking in.

Jazz: hello Cavdit!

Jazz: it's been a minute.

Jazz: you still up for that Disney sing-a-long?

Cavdit: Oh…

Cavdit: /\/ot /\/o\/\/ sadly.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has joined the chat

Firyut: *o# fuck*

Saylen: *hey firyut*

Firyut: *w#at does #e want?*

Saylen: *d(o)nt kn(o)w yet*

Cavdit: Alright, \/\/e got the i/\/\porta/\/t people.

Cavdit: I ha\/e a fe\/\/ bits of i/\/for/\/\atio/\/ for you all!

Saylen: usefu[ inf(o)rmati(o)n?

Cavdit: Yes!

Cavdit: /\/\y \/\/all has /\/e\/\/ \/\/riti/\/gs o/\/ it!

Cavdit: A/\/d it's code for our ga/\/\es.

Jazz: what?

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has joined the chat

Vlad: Holy fuck, I feel as though I've been completely undeRused lately.

Vlad: Why does no one tell me shit?

Vlad: It's been five houRs.

Vlad: What has happened?

Cavdit: Oh.

Cavdit: Hello, \/a/\/\pire.

Vlad: Cavdit.

All: …

Jazz: well, now that the awkwardness is over.

Jazz: Everyone asides you has entered the game.

Vlad: SeRiously?

Saylen: yes, seri(o)us[y

Vlad: Cavdit!

Cavdit: \/\/hat?

Vlad: Put me in!

Cavdit: Fi/\/e, just gi\/e /\/\e fucki/\/g seco/\/d!

Firyut: *yea# vlad let t#e ass#ole talk*

Firyut: *apparently #e #as some important s#it*

Vlad: AlRight, I'll wait.

Cavdit: Good.

Cavdit: Sayle/\/, I /\/eed you to gi\/e /\/\e ad/\/\i/\/ access for the chat.

Saylen: what?

Cavdit: I ha\/e a code that ca/\/ add the chat to the ga/\/\e's codi/\/g.

Cavdit: /\/\aki/\/g it able to ju/\/\p i/\/ the ti/\/\eli/\/e.

Jazz: uh, what x2?

Cavdit: I put i/\/ code.

Cavdit: Chat /\/\ixes \/\/ith the ga/\/\e.

Cavdit: \/\/e ca/\/ chat \/\/ith our future or past sel\/es.

Saylen: s(o) what ive been d(o)ing with myse[f

Saylen: but everyb(o)dy?

Cavdit: See?

Cavdit: Sea Salt gets it!

Saylen: what y(o)u just ca[[ me?

Cavdit: /\/ot i/\/\prota/\/t.

Cavdit: Ad/\/\i/\/ access please.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] had been made an admin

Cavdit: A\/\/eso/\/\e possu/\/\\.

Cavdit: O/\/e seco/\/d please.

You abruptly close down the entire chat and go into the admin section. You then open up the command link and start typing the code on your wall. A small pop-up flashes in the center of your screen that reads "Inter-Time Period Access Enabled". Nice. You also decide to actually name this fucking chat since Saylen and Jazz didn't. Now, what can you name it? "Rai/\/bo\/\/ Ru/\/\pus Partyto\/\/\/". Best name ever. Nobody's ever came up with that before, you are certain.

== Cavdit: Reopen the chat

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has opened the chat: Rai/\/bo\/\/ Ru/\/\pus Partyto\/\/\/

timelessOceanographer [TO] has joined the chat

trainingInformant [TI] has joined the chat

IntrovertedWordsmith [IWS] has joined the chat

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has joined the chat

rodentialAstoundant [RA] has joined the chat

Saylen: what the fuck is that name

Cavdit: Uh

Cavdit: Rai/\/bo\/\/ Ru/\/\pus Partyto\/\/\/?

Saylen: i instant[y regret giving y(o)u adminism

Jazz: i dunno

Jazz: i like it

Saylen: what?

Jazz: it's funny and different

Saylen: uh…

Saylen: fine it can stay

Vlad: Oh my.

Saylen: what, y(o)u bitchass human fuckt(o)ad?

Vlad: Nothing.

Vlad: I just noticed that in the moment you weRe, what is the woRd again?

Vlad: Oh Right.

Vlad: Whipped.

Saylen: im g(o)ing t(o) enj(o)y murdering y(o)u

hospitableSecondary [HS] has joined the chat

Yttrim: Hello!

Vlad: Hello YttRim.

Cavdit: Sup /\/\uta/\/t.

Firyut: *yttrim!*

Saylen: yeah hey

Saylen: n(o)w where was i?

Saylen: fuck i f(o)rg(o)t

Future!timelessOceanographer [FTO] 3 minutes from now has joined the chat

Future!Saylen: we were ta[king ab(o)ut h(o)w we were g(o)ing t(o) enj(o)y murdering v[ad

Saylen: what the actua[ fuck?

Yttrim: Wha- all did I miss?

Jazz: oh…

Jazz: my, hello

Vlad: What in the…?

Cavdit: Oh /\/\y gog, i literally just \/\/e/\/t o\/ed this.

Cavdit: \/\/e ca/\/ joi/\/ a chat at a/\/y poi/\/t \/\/e \/\/a/\/t to.

Future!Saylen: yeah i kinda just wanted t(o) test it (o)ut

Future!Saylen: speaking (o)f (o)ut

Future!timelessOceanographer [FTO] has left the chat

Saylen: huh…

Saylen: guess y(o)u arent fu[[ (o)f shit after a[[

Cavdit: 'Bout ti/\/\e so/\/\eo/\/e realized.

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/, the seco/\/d part of this.

Mistuo: Vmm, if I may intervene f-o-r a m-o-ment?

Cavdit: Sure thi/\/g, /\/\istuo /\/\y /\/\a/\/.

Mistuo: I seem t-o- have met the peak -o-f my mini adventvre.

Mistuo: And s-o-me red light is descending -o-n my Land.

Mistuo: S-o- I mvst away f-o-r the time being.

Saylen: (o)h that [ight is pr(o)bab[y future me

Jazz: really?

Jazz: tell second Say i said hi!

Vlad: You aRe not subtle at all, Jazzmyne.

Jazz: bite me batty.

Vlad: You want to Rething what you just said?

Mistuo: Yes, well, I'm g-o-ing t-o- g-o-.

Mistuo: Tell me y-o-vr sec-o-nd thing later, -o-k?

Cavdit: I gotcha bro.

Mistuo: Thank y-o-v.

Mistuo: Adi-o-s!

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has left the chat

Yttrim: Well, I hope his adven-ure goes well.

Yttrim: Now, your second -hing, Candi-?

Cavdit: Oh, right!

Cavdit: Ho\/\/ do you guys feel about bei/\/g able to \/\/atch each others ga/\/\e?

Vlad: I'm inteRested.

Jazz: as am i.

Saylen: hit me up (o)n that acti(o)n

Cavdit: Ok, so this is \/\/hat you /\/eed to do.

Cavdit: Go i/\/to your ga/\/\e scree/\/.

You wait a second as everyone switches tabs and responds.

Saylen: a[right

Jazz: done.

Vlad: Next

Yttrim: Alrigh-.

intimidatingSecondary [IS] joined the chat

Ridams: yttttriim ttolld me whatts up

Ridams: keep goiing

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/ hold do\/\/\/ ctrl.

All: Done.

Cavdit: Alt.

All: Done

Cavdit: A plus \/.

Everyone goes quiet for a minute as they follow your instructions before you hear a couple of gasps and 'huh' come their ends. You decide to do the same and you bring up your game screen, which is stuck on the Vampires hive. You hold all the buttons and a number of tabs appear on the side of your screen, each with a specific symbol on it. The orange mouse looking symbol for Firyut, bright-blue circle with antlers for Yttrim, and so on. To test it out, you move over and click on Jazz's. You are brought to a scene of another human and some pure black character smoking something next to a vehicle. Inside the vehicle, you see a sleeping Jazz. Ok, that's creepy, let's check on someone else.

Firyut seems like someone not crazy to check up on. And she's sitting there drawing. Well, can't blame someone for doing what they love. You almost click on another tab before you hear a ding come from the chat. Someone else must have joined from the future. You switch back to the chat and see another version of Yttrim crying. Not just a normal Yttrim cry, she was fucking bawling. You could even hear Ridams on the other side panicky mumbling to himself.

Future!hosbitbalSecondary [FHS] 17 minutes from now has joined the chat

Future!Yttrim: Holy

Future!Yttrim: Fucking

Future!Yttrim: Shi-.

Saylen: w(o)ah there yttrim

Vlad: Y, calm down.

Vlad: What happened?

Vlad: OR, I guess, what's going to happen?

Future!Yttrim: Fucking, I jus-...

Jazz: yeah yeah it's ok Yttrim.

Future!Yttrim: No i- fucking isn'-!

Cavdit: Hey, /\/o /\/eed to yell.

Yttrim: Hey, lis-en.

Yttrim: You're me, I'm you, we can -alk abou- -his.

Future!Yttrim: *sniff* O-ok.

Future!Yttrim: I jus-...

Future!Yttrim: Ok, I came back -o ca-ch Mis-uo and -ell him…

Saylen: te[[ him what?

Future!Yttrim: -ell him no- -o go -o his volcano -hing.

Jazz: volcano thing?

Vlad: I like volcanoes.

Vlad: Why shouldn't he have gone theRe.

Future!Yttrim: Jus-...

Future!Yttrim: Swi-ch -o his screen now I -hink.

Cavdit: \/\/ell, \/\/hat are \/\/e expecti/\/g?

Future!hospitbalSecondary [FHS] has left the chat

Vlad: Well, that definitely isn't ominous.

Vlad: Shall we to the scReens?

Cavdit: Shut up, this is i/\/\porta/\/t.

Cavdit: It's /\/\y /\/\istubro.

Ridams: excuse me?

Ridams: ii tthoughtt ii was youre bro

Cavdit: Yeah, you are!

Cavdit: You're my pale bro.

Cavdit: /\/\istuo's /\/\y… bro, bro.

Cavdit: Close bro.

Vlad: They'Re gay!

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has been banned from the chat

Cavdit: A/\/\ I the o/\/ly o/\/e that hates hi/\/\?

Saylen: n(o)pe

Saylen: i d(o)nt [ike him either

Ridams: piisses me offff

Cavdit: Alright the/\/.

Cavdit: \/\/ait, \/\/ere \/\/e doi/\/g so/\/\ethi/\/g?

Jazz: going onto Mistuo's screen.

Jazz: to see why Yttrim was bawling her eyes out?

Cavdit: Right!

Cavdit: Tha/\/k you Jazz/\/\y/\/e.

== Cavdit: Switch screens

You close down the chat screen and go back to the game screen. Hovering the cursor to the green triangle for Mistuo and click. You are now met with a fairly grisly scene. What looked like Saylen but with large, red wings was pacing and panicking over… holy fuck. She was pacing over the body of Mistuo. Dead body, you feel you should say. His body was completely limp from what you could see and his neck was bleeding. Not like a knife slice across the neck, no this was extremely thin and surrounded the entire skin. His face was a pale green too, probably showing signs of strangling. Saylen wasn't really doing much aside panicking, which is weird to you. She said she was from the future, so she would have known this was gonna happen. Why is she freaking out like this? Something doesn't add up here.


	31. Chapter 31: Moss Fox Down

== Be Mistuo in the past

For this advent to make sense, we must go back roughly half an hour. You are standing with Foxsprite, currently trying to understand her. You can't exactly quite put a finger on exactly… how she can exist. These are two completely opposite personalities mixed into one being. It doesn't help that she still has her very calming voice while also being covered in Imp blood and killing maliciously.

Mistuo: S-o-o-o-, F-o-xsprite?

Mistuo: Y-o-v're, like, svper aggressive n-o-w.

Foxsprite: Yes, well, that's what happens when you combine a violent killer with something.

Foxsprite: But I'm not just aggressive.

Foxsprite: I'm still your loving Lusus that wants nothing but the best for you!

The Sprite throws all four arms up for emphasis. That or she threw up her machetes to impale four Imps that decided to fall in through the colossal fucking hole in your roof. It was probably the latter, but you're going to pretend it was for the former.

Mistuo: Yes, well.

Mistuo: This is a little strange if I may say.

Mistuo: Strange and vnc-o-mf-o-ftable.

Foxsprite: Hmm?

Foxsprite: How so?

Mistuo: Well, y-o-v've always tavght me t-o- a pacifist and n-o-nvi-o-lent.

Mistuo: Bvt seeing y-o-v like this…

Foxsprite: Makes you conflicted?

Mistuo: Yeah…

Foxsprite: Oh, Mistuo, always one to over think things.

Foxsprite: I am still your loving Lusus, but I am also a little more violent.

Foxsprite: If it is what you would prefer, I may be able to hold back my murderistic behavior.

Mistuo: -O-h my g-o-g, yes please!

Mistuo: I'd like t-o- at least speak t-o- -o-ne Imp -o-n what I should d-o-.

Foxsprite: You can commune with these creatures?

Mistuo: Yes.

Mistuo: If y-o-v were listening t-o- me f-o-r the past ten minvtes y-o-v'd kn-o-w that.

Foxsprite: Quite a smartass, aren't you?

Mistuo: N-o-t a w-o-rdsmith f-o-r n-o-thing.

== Mistuo: Talk to an Imp

Honestly, that might be a little harder than you thought it'd be. Stepping outside, all forms of enemy or friend alike were… kind of hiding or not even coming near. Those four were probably the last ones for a while. Well, that puts a little hole in your plan. Looks like you have to go out and find some! The introvert is going on an adventure! You feel inclined to make a Hobbit 'I'm going on an adventure!' joke, but considering you have no way of knowing what that movie is as Hobbit's are not in any Alternian history or mythology, you refrain. You hurry back inside and tell Foxspite what you are doing and start back outside. You are really unsure as to where you are to go, so maybe talking to your friends that have been in longer is a good idea? You start walking in a random direction and turn on your Scarftop.

== Mistuo: Check in

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] has joined the chat

Jazz: -with the ladder.

Jazz: nine months later, a human is born!

Saylen: damn.

Saylen: but is the catt[e pr(o)d rea[[y necessary?

Jazz: as necessary as the honey.

Mistuo: What did I jvst walk int-o-?

Jazz: oh, hey Mister Misty!

Saylen: sup Mistu(o)

Saylen: jazzy's just teaching me ab(o)ut human breeding stuff

Mistuo: Gr-o-ss.

Jazz: not as gross as you guys with your fucking buckets or whatever!

Mistuo: D-o-vble gr-o-ss.

Mistuo: Als-o-, they're called pails.

Jazz: whatever.

Jazz: what you doing?

Mistuo: Trying t-o- find an Imp t-o- talk t-o- basically.

Saylen: why?

Mistuo: S-o- I kn-o-w what t-o- d-o-?

Mistuo: I'm s-o-rry I d-o-n't have a time cl-o-ne t-o- gvide me!

Saylen: hey, if it's any c(o)ns(o)[ati(o) my future se[f [eft [ike ten minutes ag(o)

Mistuo: It helps a little.

quadriclopsrapper [QR] has joined the chat

Cavdit: Yo, dipshits.

Cavdit: A/\/yo/\/e o/\/?

Considering we've already been through this exchange, let's hop to where Mistuo left.

== Mistuo: Explore the top of the volcano

What, and just not even care about the red light descending that, apparently, is Saylen but from the future. Confusing. You wait and wave when the time copy of Saylen finally lands. You are taken back a little by her attire. Mostly her giant butterfly wings shining out of her back. She wore some pajama looking clothes with a red gear on it and a hood. The strangest part was that her eyepatch was missing and replaced with an eye that had the same red gear as her pupil. Inside the gear were little tick marks that almost looked like Roman numerals. They went from one to twelve in the style of a clock. Her eye also had a very, very faint red aura of smoke coming off of it. One thing you could tell was that she looked annoyed.

Mistuo: S-o-, I take y-o-v're the fvtvre Saylen?

Future!Saylen: y(o)u kn(o)w it

Future!Saylen: man, y(o)u d(o) n(o)t kn(o)w the pain it is t(o) f[y p[anet t(o) p[anet

Mistuo: Alright, why are y-o-v here exactly?

Future!Saylen: (o)h right

Future!Saylen: y(o)u are pr(o)gressing way faster than y(o)u sh(o)u[d be

Future!Saylen: that t(o)wer (o)ver there

She points to the giant blue spire in the center of the lava pool. It's on a little island with an extremely unsafe looking rope bridge connecting the two. Like, so freaking unsafe it makes your anxiety spike just looking at it. But you really don't see any problems with that.

Future!Saylen: is he[[a end game shit

Future!Saylen: [ike, s(o) much s(o) that we'd better [eave

Future!Saylen: n(o)w

Mistuo: What?

Mistuo: Why?

Mistuo: It's jvst a t-o-wer.

Mistuo: There isn't even a d-o-o-r, jvst a big staircase!

Mistuo: Am I g-o-ing t-o- die -o-r s-o-mething if I g-o- vp there?

Saylen noticeably grinds her fangs, that annoyed look getting worse. With the worsening glare, the smoke around her eye actually glows brighter and grows in size. You are unable to tell if this was bad or not, but you think it's bad. She takes a second before letting out a long breath, the aura fading.

Future!Saylen: (o)k, [(o)(o)k

Future!Saylen: of y(o)u g(o) up there, y(o)u can't [eave un[ess y(o)u die

Future!Saylen: and y(o)u are t(o)(o) weak t(o) c(o)ntr(o)[ Bard p(o)wers

Future!Saylen: and Skaia right n(o)w?

Future!Saylen: fuck that n(o)ise

Mistuo: Hvh…

Mistuo: Bvt, I mean…

Mistuo: W-o-vld dying be that bad?

Future!Saylen: i mean, i died f(o)ur times and i can say i'm n(o)t a fan

Mistuo: Bvt…

You look back to the tower and think. For some reason, something inside you was yelling to go to it. Well, more like forcibly pushing you as you were already walking towards it. You hear a sigh behind you and see a faint blue flash, probably from Saylen's TARDIS Modus. You once again hear a noise, almost like a ziiip from a fishing line.

Future!Saylen: fine, fine

Future!Saylen: but (o)ne thing bef(o)re [eave

Future!Saylen: i need y(o)u t(o) sett[e an argument f(o)r me

Mistuo: Vhh, alright…

Future!Saylen: which d(o) y(o)u think ks w(o)rse,

Future!Saylen: dying fr(o)m strangu[ati(o)n (o)r burning?

Mistuo: W-o-w, that's a weird qvesti-o-n.

Mistuo: Pr-o-bably strangvlati-o-n.

Future!Saylen: that's what i was h(o)ping f(o)r

Before you. could question what she said, you suddenly feel a very thin wire touch throat and pull back, completely cutting off your airflow! You struggle, only able to land one out of who knows how many elbows on your assailant. Wait, who the fuck even is your assailant?! It's only you and… you try hard to turn around, only to feel the line cut into the skin, leaking a familiar warm liquid down your neck. Blood. Of fuckimg course it's blood. Now you know you aren't walking away from this, but you'll be damned if you don't at least try to take this Saylen down with you.

You force yourself to look forward again before putting what little strength you have into slamming your head back. You feel a strong impact and hear a loud cracking sound, followed by the line loosening. Reach back and feel your head has a large wet part on it, only to find you hand was covered in plum blood. In your personal moment of triumph, you actually jerk forward, choking yourself with the line until it goes completely limp and you're free. At least, as free as someone with a bleeding windpipe could be. You try to gather yourself but both the blood and oxygen loss has made you almost completely unresponsive and blurred your vision. You equip yourself with your own fishing pole, only to feel it jerked away from you as you hold it. If it wasn't for your literal death grip it would be in Saylen's webby fingers. For almost a whole minute, you and the time traveler fight over the pole with you quickly losing as all of your strength leaves with your Moss colored blood.

Eventually, your grip fails just enough for the seadweller to snatch it away and kick you to the ground. The weight of the fall forces you to cough and spit up blood, making a small puddle under your face. You try to look up at Saylen and see her pulling out more and more line, wrapping it around her fists. With no idea why, you roll over and start crawling away, only to have the entire weight of Saylen slam directly on your spine almost as though she jumped full force onto you. You are a Troll that knows when to give up, so the only thing you can do is struggle at the line once it's against your blood soaked skin again. As the light finally slips from your eyes and your vision finally goes back, you could hear a very faint but very… evil filled laugh come from the seadweller on top of you. You blare your fangs and mouth out a curse before finally and very uncomfortably slipping into a final sleep.

== Mistuo: Wake up

You borderline jump out of your recuperacoon gasping in the largest breath of air you've ever taken. You look around panicked before realizing you were once again in your hive. Completely repaired and tidy, you are almost certain you simply overslept and were having a nightmare. That is until you notice everything is a very bright yellow and the sky is fully light up outside the window… that you've never had before. You climb out and walk over to the opening to look up. What you see completely blows you away. It was a giant blue planet, with clouds showing small scenes and such in them. In one particular cloud, you see the aftermath of the exact situation you were just in. Saylen put away her pole and started to… panic? She was acting as though she was panic about what just happened! What the hell is she planning at?


	32. Chapter 32: A Fk Mothering Vampire

== Jazz: Freak out

You switch off your Scouter and start freaking out, having seen one of the only Trolls you like literally die. Well, you didn't see it, only the aftermath of it. Well, not really the aftermath, just Saylen standing over his dead body freaking out as much as you are. You float up to your tower and sit on the windowsill, trying to properly take in what just happened. Wait, what the hell even is there to take in? Mistuo is dead! Dead Mistuo, right on a mountain, neck bleeding, green blood everywhere! Fuck! The only decent dude Troll is dead! You can't talk to Ridams because he's an asshole and you can't… ok, maybe you can talk to Cavdit, but only in certain circumstances. And Vlad's… a Vampire. A really touchy Vampire that you have to be careful what you say or else you'll get your ass chewed out. Wait… holy hell you got way off track.

You simply throw all the other thoughts out of your head and just sit in the window, looking up to the clouds. You see a few small scenes, none of which seem all that surprising or interesting. You see Saylen-present Saylen that is-extremely pissed off in a cave, floating and crashing water against the walls and ceiling, making it shake and crack in a lot of places. That fades and quickly changes to another scene, one of a giant drill head flying up into space at a floating circular platform. How the hell is that relevant? You look over and you see a scene you're actually a little confused at. It was of you, sitting on your windowsill. It moved to the right to show another tower, this one with another person in it. Not just any person though. A Troll with two large fox ear-shaped horns! He's also looking up at the sky before jumping and flying off the tower, flying to the direction of your towerbefore you finally come into view. You couldn't see the rest of the scene because someone tackles you and knocks you to the ground, wrapping you is a surprisingly tight hug. When you pull off, you are met face to face with the Moss-blood Mistuo himself!

Jazz: what the shit!

Jazz: Mistuo you're alive!

Jazz: and tall as fuck, what the hell man?

Jazz: you're almlst freaking seven feet tall holy shit.

Mistuo: I kn-o-w!

Mistuo: Except… wait… n-o-?

Mistuo: I died.

Jazz: well obviously not because you're here!

Mistuo: Yeah, what exactly is 'here'?

Jazz: oh, right

Jazz: this is Prospit!

Jazz: one of the twin moons of Skaia, that big blue thing up there

You point to the bright blue sky above you.

Jazz:it's where we go when we sleep.

Mistuo: And apparently when we die t-o-o-...

Jazz: oh fuck, that's right!

Jazz: what happened?

Mistuo: That fvtvre versi-o-n -o-f Saylen.

Mistuo: She was telling me h-o-w where I was was an 'end game- area -o-nly and tried t-o- make me leave.

Mistuo: She was talking ab-o-vt h-o-w if I die -o-n s-o-me t-o-wer thing I can 'Ascend', whatever that means.

Mistuo: Then she pr-o-ceeded t-o- strangle me and cvt my thr-o-at with fishing line.

Jazz: holy shit.

Jazz: i'm sorry.

Jazz: but are you sure it was Saylen?

Mistuo: Pvrple hair, fins -o-n her face, messed up eye.

Mistuo: Yeah, it was her.

Mistuo: Well, fvtvre he.

Jazz: no…

Jazz: there's no way any version of Say could do thag!

Mistuo: Well, I sh-o-vld kn-o-w, c-o-nsidering i had t-o- fight her.

Jazz: no way...

Jazz: but, wait, if you're dead, why are you here?

Mistuo: I d-o-n't kn-o-w!

Mistuo: I gvess this is s-o-me kind -o-f like, limb-o- -o-r midp-o-int f-o-r the game?

Mistuo: Like, y-o-v get tw-o- chances?

Mistuo: -O-ne here and -o-ne in -o-vr -o-ther, alive self.

Jazz: huh.

Jazz: but, i'm sure there was a reason!

Jazz: Say wouldn't just-

Mistuo: Jazzmyne!

Mistuo: She killed me!

Mistuo: Wrapped the line ar-o-vnd my thr-o-at, tightened it, and killed me!

Mistuo: What reas-o-ning is there f-o-r that?

Jazz: well…

Jazz: wait, Ascend!

Mistuo: Excvse me?

Jazz: i remember her saying at one point she died and then got cool god powers.

Jazz: maybe that's what Ascension means!

Mistuo: Jazzmyne…

Mistuo: I kn-o-w y-o-v d-o-n't want t-o- think bad -o-f Saylen bvt…

Mistuo: She.

Mistuo: Mvrdered.

Mistuo: Me.

Jazz: …

Jazz: fuck, you're right.

Mistuo: N-o-w, y-o-v can still help the present Saylen.

Mistuo: Try t-o- keep her away fr-o-m…

Jazz: herself?

Mistuo: Yes.

Jazz: ugh…

Jazz: how do i keep someone away from themself?

Mistuo: I d-o-n't kn-o-w!

Mistuo: Demand she c-o-me and help y-o-v -o-r s-o-mething!

Mistuo: We can't let fvtvre Saylen c-o-rvpt present Saylen.

Jazz: so just get the murderer to come to me?

Jazz: and possibly murder me?

Jazz: along with my cousin and a Princess?

Mistuo: As terrible as that s-o-vnds, yes.

Jazz: perfect.

Jazz: guess i'll go break the news to them.

Mistuo: Wait!

Mistuo: What am I svpp-o-sed t-o- d-o- then?

Jazz: i dunno, fly around?

Jazz: meet the locals or something.

Mistuo: Excvse me?

Mistuo: Y-o-v are aware the 'intr-o-vert' part -o-f my Tr-o-ll handle isn't jvst f-o-r sh-o-w, right?

Jazz: than jack off!

Jazz: i don't care!

Jazz: i'm not the dead one here!

Mistuo: D-o- y-o-v kn-o-w h-o-w ann-o-ying it is m-o-r me t-o- 'jack -o-ff'?

Mistuo: L-o-ng -o-nes jvst make it a pain Jazzmyne!

Jazz: shut up!

Jazz: going back to awake world and…

Jazz: very much hope i forget that last part.

Mistuo: Shvt vp, y-o-v kn-o-w y-o-v wanted t-o- learn ab-o-vt it.

Jazz: i swear to god, i will kill you again!

== Jazz: Wake up

You wave the tall Troll goodbye and go back to your dream bed, laying down and covering yourself up. You close your eyes and wait, slowly feeling yourself drift away until…

== Jazz: Be Vlad

Boom! Character switch, bite me readers. You are now the blond haired Vampire, Vlad, standing in his mansion which has just teleported into your Land: The Land of Diamonds and Silence. And boy, does the name match landscape. There were giant diamonds and crystals jutting up from the ground, peppering the dark, flat landscape for miles upon miles. It was actually a little eerie due to the fact that 'Silence' was serious, as there was not a single noise coming from anywhere, not even the Imps. No wind or anything. The only sound you can hear is your Batspite going crazy downstairs. Speaking of the Sprite, you really do have to prototype him again, but with what?

You look around the room and your eyes fall on a certain signed photograph sitting on your desk. You go and pick up the Dracula Picture and toss it into your Rubix Modus and start flying downstairs. You enter a room covered in Imp blood and the machines from the game. In the center you find a dark blue sprite with a bat head and wings floating over a dead Imp. As you do, you go to Batsprite and solve the cube in your Modus, bringing out the picture again.

Vlad: Oh, BatspRite!

Vlad: I have youR secondaRy pRototype heRe.

The Sprite squeaks and opens it's wings, floating over to you. Right before you throw the picture in, you take a second to think. This Sprite is made of a BAT named ALUCARD. Would tossing in a Dracula picture produce the personality you're thinking about? Well, only one way to find out! You toss in the picture and are met with a navy flash of light. When it dies down, you hear a very faint laughing as you look over your new Sprite. He had the normal bat wings as before, but now had a human face. Only, except for it being the fac le of the famous Vampire himself, it kind of looked like some Ozzy Osborn mother fucker with a big red hat. Why is that the only thing not matched with the rest of the blue color? He also wore a suit with gloves that had some weird looking symbol on it, almost like a pentagram. Maybe you should talk to him?

Vlad: Hello?

Vlad: New SpRite?

Alucardsprite: You baby, it is good to be back!

Vlad: I'm soRRy, back?

Alucardsprite: Hmm?

Alucardsprite: Oh yes, you see, there was an incident quite a while back that lead to my death.

Alucardsprite: Fortunately, I had a deal with the red guy down under and got put back as a bat.

Alucardsprite: Which makes sense considering I am a Vampire like you.

Vlad: Woah, you were a Vampire?

Alucardsprite: Nope!

Alucardsprite: I'm Carmen Sandiego!

Alucardsprite: Guess where I am?

Vlad: Uhh…

Alucardsprite: I'm just fucking with you!

Alucardsprite: I'm Alucard, you created an entirely different being with the special combination of Dracula and a bat named Alucard.

Alucardsprite: You ever watch that anime Hellsing?

Vlad: UnfoRtunately, yes.

Alucardsprite: Welp, ya made him.

Alucardsprite: And here I am!

He appearifies a pair of pistols out of nothing and looks around.

Alucradsprite: Now, how do you feel about going for a walk?

Vlad: A walk?

Vlad: Wait…

Vlad: No!

Vlad: I watch TeamFouRStaR, I know what that means!

Alucardsprite: Oh, boo, you're no fun.

Alucardsprite: Fine, I'll stay here and take care of the Imps.

Vlad: Hey, I'm going to stay heRe foR a bit to combine stuff.

Vlad: I'm not just going to up and leave because some anime VampiRe tells me to!

Alucardsprite: Hey!

Alucardsprite: I am a fuck mothering Vampire, and I have killed a lot of people to earn that title!

Vlad: Actually, you weRe wRitten like that and, in this Reality, have only killed, what?

Vlad: Twelve Imps?

Alucardsprite: Look, you made me a character from a popular anime and abridged series, people expect references!

Vlad: What people?

Vlad: It's liteRally only you and me heRe!

Alucardsprite: Oh my god, why couldn't I get Firyut as my player?

Alucardsprite: She'd go along with my fourth-wall breaking.

Vlad: What?

Alucardsprite: Shut up.

Alucardsprite: And make yourself some kickass weapons!

Vlad: Now that, although I am a pacifist, is an amazing idea.

== Vlad: Make some weapons

You go upstairs and look around, having a rather large collection of items to combine with others. Let's see, you'll take your WWII battle helmet(not important which side) and your old as fuck computer, you take your lighter and plasma ball, your fireworks and roller skates, and, to top it all off, you take your Very Special Box. Not to combine with anything, just to keep it safe. This was stolen from the Vatican secret archives, so there is no way in hell you are losing it. Especially because if you do lose it you probably are going to hell, and you do not want to go through that again. You owe Satan three souls and you don't even have one!

You float back to the foyer and set everything up like how you need it, setting your sword on the table next to everything. You already pretty much worked everything out, so this'll be a piece of cake! You take your computer and helmet cards, combine them, and make the totem and put it next to the Alchemiter. You take the plasma ball and lighter and punch then, followed by the fireworks and roller skates. Lastly, you punch your sword card and combine the plasma ball and your sword, followed by combing it with your sword. Two swords, hell yeah. Then, you combine one sword with the lighter and one with the ball, making two totems. Ah, what the hell? You combine the ball and lighter for a totem as well. Hopefully it works how you plan it to.

Alucardsprite: Hey dicknuts!

Alucardsprite: You done yet?

Vald: Bite me, you DRacula wanna be.

Alucardsprite: Wanna be?

Alucardsprite: Bitch, did you even watch the anime?

Vlad: I'm waiting foR the next abRidged paRt!

Alucardsprite: That already came out!

Vlad: Wait, seRiously?

Alucardsprite: Yeah, last friday.

Vlad: Well then… I will get to that as soon as I make my weapons!

== Vlad: Make some weapons

You take everything to the giant pad and set them down in order, starting with the helmet/computer combination. As planned, you get a German war helmet with a computer screen projector where a slightly offensive symbol used to be. You then put the skates/fireworks and get… somehow that makes rocket boots, ok then. Now, the fun stuff. You put in both the swords and come out with a very large Plasma Sabre, which almost looks like a ripoff of a Lightsaber, and a smaller Flaming Sword. Bitchin'. Now to see if the plasma ball/lighter combo works. You put it in and get a fairly smaller plasma ball with no electricity flying inside of it. You pick it up and are caught off guard by it catching on fire! Except, it wasn't burning you. What? You look around and notice a stray Imp wandering around out the window. You smirk and wind up the plasma ball like a baseball and throw it, pegging the Imp in the head causing giant lines of electricity out and shock it until it explodes into Grist.

Vlad: Well then.

Vlad: That seems a little oveRpoweRed.

Alucardsprite: Are you complaining?

Vlad: Not at all!


	33. Chapter 33: Land-xploration Pt 3

Vlad: Look up

You step out of your mansion and look up into the pure black sky to see a dark blue spirograph floating above. From what your Sprite explained, that's what you need to fly into to progress. Luckily, you are a Vampire so you can simply fly up there. Which, of course, you proceed to do until you are directly underneath the portal. Man, as of now you have made the most progress. Most of the other players have went away from their Gates. Dipshits. Except Firyut, she is a perfect little marshmallow. You float around the Gate a few times to properly understand what it is. Just a two-dimensional spirograph floating in the sky underneath six more. How is this suppose to teleport you elsewhere? It's as small than your head! What are you suppose to do now?

Vlad: Try something

You think for a second and just reach your arm put to the Gate. The second your finger enters the spirograph you are surrounded in blue light. You wait for a second before you feel a light tugging on your back. When the light starts to fade, you find yourself standing on solid ground and quite possibly on a different part of the planet! There is nothing but the slightly hilly landscape and diamonds the size of skyscrapers for miles. No sign of your house, your Sprite, no nothing. The only thing of interest is a slightly bigger than normal hill at the base of a straight up diamond tower.

Vlad: Well, I suppose that would be a decent place to staRt.

Vlad: Who am I talking to?

You walk over to the hill and circle around it, taking in all of the detail. There isn't really any, it's the exact same grey stone as every other mile of ground around. Although, on the end opposite of where you appeared is an opening, similar to the entrance to an old minecraft. Shaft. Why the hell did you think Minecraft? You don't even place that artism magnet of a game. Mineshaft, that's what you meant to say.

It looks stable enough, wood appears freshly placed actually. Wood? Where the hell are the trees? Also, how the hell could trees live here? It's nothing but solid stone, you haven't seen a lick of water, and it's as dark as night! If this is going where you think it is, you're going to have to slap someone for having no subtlety at all. And not a courtesy human slap. No, you will deliver a freaking Vampire strength slap. During the time you are thinking all this, you realize you're just trying to procrastinate going into the cave. You refuse to lie to yourself, you hate caves. Which is ironic because one of your abilities is being able to polymorph into a bat. Why'd you just use fucking DD terminology? You don't even play the game, and don't see yourself ever playing it.

Vlad: Vamp the fuck up already!

You decide to Vamp the fuck up and start into the cave. You take out one of your swords, the flame one specifically, and turn it on. Although you can see in the dark, you'd much prefer having actual light. Can't blame a Vamp for adjusting to the human behavior of turning on the lights, can you? You walk down the cave for a good several minutes, observing many primitive wall drawings. They all seem to be focused around one deity looking character standing above a grey planet with a diamond in the center.

Is subtlety not a thing here? You randomly appear on a planet to save the universe, you find a cave to who knows where, and the planet is grey and covered in diamonds. Although, there is one little thing about the murals you can't help but notice. All the deity figures look like they have fox ears. Looks cool, but confusing. Guess the answer is at the bottom. You start walking again until the slanted walkway turns into a more flat one, opening up more from a hallway to a corridor, and then into an entire room. It was almost hard to see if there was anything past there.

Eventually, you come across a larger opening with faint traces of light shooting through. Finally, progress! You rush down to the entrance before hearing the Dukes of Hazzard theme come from your Modus. Of course someone would try to contact you right now, why wouldn't they? You solve the Rubik's Cube and take out your helmet, putting it on and opening your chat. Oh great, it's Cavdit. What does this fucknut want? Hell, you aren't even going to go facecam for this guy, you'll type like normal. See how he thinks of that!

Vlad: Answer Cavdit

quadriclopsRapper [QR] began trolling reanimatedRenaissance [RR]

QR: \/\/addup, \/laddy?

RR: Vladdy?

QR: \/laddy daddy.

QR: ;;)

RR: I hate you.

QR: I hate you too buddy.

QR: So, ho\/\/'s your shit sho\/\/ goi/\/'?

RR: Can't you see me?

QR: /\/o I ca/\/\/ot, \/laddy.

QR: Last ti/\/\e I sa\/\/ you, you \/\/as flyi/\/g up to the sky.

QR: There \/\/as flash a/\/d you \/\/ere go/\/e.

QR: /\/o\/\/ I'/\/\ focusi/\/g o/\/ /\/\y ga/\/\e.

RR: SmaRt, we need eveRyone playing as much as possible.

QR: Da/\/\/\/ right \/\/e do.

RR: Speaking of playing, I found a cave.

QR: \/\/oah, that is o/\/e \/\/ay to cha/\/ge the subject.

QR: \/\/hat you fi/\/d i/\/ said ca\/e?

RR: So faR, just wall paintings and a giant Room I was about to enteR.

QR: Coolio.

QR: \/\/hat \/\/as o/\/ the pai/\/ti/\/gs?

RR: Some deity looking guy standing oveR the planet.

QR: \/\/ell that is/\/'t subtle at all, is it?

RR: That's what I said!

RR: Well, BefoRe I noticed all the deities had fox eaRs.

QR: Huh.

QR: That's e\/e/\/ less subtle.

RR: Why's that?

QR: You serious?

QR: Like,

QR: You fucki/\/g serious right /\/o\/\/?

RR: Yes!

QR: \/\/ell, did/\/'t thi/\/k it \/\/as possible.

QR: But I just rolled all four eyes at o/\/ce.

RR: What?

QR: You k/\/o\/\/ \/\/hat?

QR: I'/\/\/\/\a let you figure it out yourself.

RR: Fuck you.

QR: Co/\/\e to /\/\y La/\/d a/\/d do it the/\/!

RR: I fucking will!

QR: C'/\/\o/\/ the/\/!

QR: You ca/\/ fly, get o\/er here!

RR: I can't!

RR: I'm in a cave!

RR: Speaking of, how am I even getting seRvice in heRe?

QR: /\/\aybe the ca\/e has built in \/\/ifi?

RR: That's RetaRded.

RR: And I feel you'Re one of the types of people who call it 'wee-fee'.

QR: That's /\/ot ho\/\/ you say it?

RR: …

RR: Please tell me you'Re joking.

QR: Really \/\/ish I \/\/as /\/o\/\/.

RR: I feel soRRy foR you sometimes.

QR: So/\/\ebody has to.

QR: K/\/o\/\/ I ai/\/'t getti/\/g sy/\/\pathy fro/\/\ /\/\y so called /\/\oirail.

RR: PRoblems in the pale depaRtment?

QR: Ugh.

QR: Yeah?

QR: I /\/\ea/\/.

QR: Rida/\/\s is cool, he's just i/\/se/\/siti\/e a lot.

QR: He does/\/'t e\/e/\/ liste/\/ \/\/he/\/ I /\/ees to talk or stuff.

RR: Isn't that one of the main things a MoiRail does?

RR: I need a RefResheR on TRoll Romances.

QR: Yeah, it is o/\/e of the big thi/\/gs.

QR: \/\/e're also u/\/able to get together ofte/\/ to propery ha\/e a feeli/\/gs ja/\/\\.

RR: Feelings jam?

RR: That actually sounds nice.

RR: What is it?

QR: Basically talki/\/g about life a/\/d ho\/\/ \/\/e feel a/\/d shit.

QR: Usually helps us feel better about oursel\/es.

RR: Neat.

RR: Hey, I think I've pRocRastinated enough, it cool if we get to the actual point of this messaging?

QR: Oh, right.

QR: Ho\/\/ far you get?

QR: Kinda shit you /\/\ade, all that stuff.

RR: Like I said, I alReady went thRough my fiRst Gate and am pRogRessing thRough the most obvious plot device in histoRy.

RR: Got two swoRds, one fiRe and on plasma.

RR: As well as gRenades that electrocute and burn whatever it hits.

QR: Badass /\/\a/\/.

QR: I got a pair of brass k/\/uckles that ha\/e spikes and electrocute thi/\/gs.

QR: I call 'e/\/\ the Spiked Shockers.

RR: Badass.

RR: Hey, I'm going to go ahead and leave.

RR: Want to check out this cave that is emitting stRange light.

QR: Alright.

QR: Adios, dick\/\/eed.

RR: See ya, cunt waffle.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has ceased trolling reanimatedRenaissance [RR]

Huh. He's actually a cool guy in moderation. You turn off the helmet and put it back into your Modus, turning back to the doorway. You snuff out the fire one your sword and walk in, finding something absolutely indescribable.

Vlad: Describe it

It was a colossal city, spanning miles both horizontally and vertically. Huge pillars of multicolored rock and gemstones towered onto the ceiling, with patios, windows, entire homes build inside of them! There were roads and walkways of suspending rock connected all of the pillars, making stairways and city squares everywhere, and were alight by glowing gems that replicated the shine of the sun itself. There was grass, trees, rivers sprinkled along the bottom of the caves, even with the occasional forest thrown in random places.

You start walking along the main road and begin passing the inhabitants of the Land. Short, bipedal dark blue saber-toothed leopards walked between buildings, very few actually taking notice of you. On every stone tower you pass, you can't help but take into account one repeating choice of decoration. An upside down triangle with a circle in the middle and a line going horizontally through it. Very familiar for some reason, but nice nonetheless! Wait a second, isn't there someone on the team with that symbol? You can't quite remember.


	34. Sword and Shield

Be Yttrim

Yttrim: And so, if I combine my sword wi-h -his image of -he Dagger if Venom, I can ge-...

You put the two cards into the machine and receive a Dowel, taking it to the Alchemiter and placing it on the stand. After a few moments, the laser scans and creates a large sword with a purple hue and light serration along the blade.

Yttrim: -he Blade of Venom!

Ridams: wow

Ridams: your attttiittude sure diid change afftter seeiing your red crush diie lliike tthatt

Yttrim: Masking my depression wi-h menial -asks, Ridams.

Yttrim: Masking wi-h menial -asks.

Yttrim: Bu- yes, I am absolu-ely horrible inside and would -hrow myself off a cliff if i- did'- mean killing you -oo.

Ridams: tthank you

Ridams: ii do nott wantt tto diie viia clliiffff jjump

Yttrim: I don'- -hink you used via righ-.

Ridams: do ii llook lliike a llanguageollogiistt tto you?

Ridams: ii dontt care

Ridams: ii have my own sttuffff tto make

Your brother take his punched Shield card and of a Black Rose into the Totem Lathe. He gets the totem and sets it onto the machine as before and creates a large shield with a rose pattern in all black. Very original. One thing that stood out though, was the bladed edge along the entire thing. Makes sense, considering what he used was a legendary sword item.

Ridams: tthere we go

Ridams: a bllack risen shiielld

Ridams: man haviing dnd sure giives us a good settup

Yttrim: I won'- argure -here.

Yttrim: Wha- else shall we make?

Twins: Check your book

Earlier, you two made a book willed with cards of Dungeons and Dragons items that you've been using for items. It seems like breaking the game, considering it makes Capture Cards out of nothing, but there's no instant consequences, so you two don't care. They also regenerate themselves after use, so that's always good. You've actually made two; one to carry with you and one to leave here for the others. Yttrim's idea.

You look through the book and your current Capturelouge to find something useful or cool. After seeing your D-20 Modus is full of nothing but gaming stuff and candy, you look around your respiteblock to find the magic items of combination. Let's see here, there is Chimerasprite2, your laptops, desk, chairs, dnd board, broom for cleaning, bags of candy. You can do something with these!

Gather some things

You decide to go the obvious option and grab each of your laptops and punch them, taking your gaming devices and punching. Alchemization happens and you each get a Huskboy Advanced. Creative ass name. Next you take the broom and the card for a Broom of Flying. This result is fairly obvious yet retarded, according to Ridams. This idea is Ridams, taking an old bottle from the trash can and combining it with an Eversmoking Bottle, creating the Bottle Smoke. He pops the cap off and a heavy cloud appears around them until he closes it again. Good for distractions. After all of this, Chimerasprite2 intervenes after fighting off a number of Imps and Basilisks.

Chimerasprite2: Wonderful collection my children!

Chimerasprite2: I see them all aiding you well in your quest!

Ridam: yeah aboutt tthatt

Yttrim: Wha- exac-ly is -his ques-?

Chimerasprite2: Oh, right!

Chimerasprite2: Monologue

Chimerasprite2: As you can see, your Land is special, as it is split up into two halves.

The Sprite motions to the window, showing the state of the Land. Exactly as it said, one half is very grey-brown with colossal mushrooms grown everywhere, while the other half if a straight black stone with lined lights illuminating everything in bright neon, showing a number of derailed trains.

Chimerasprite2: You see, these two Lands crashed into each other many eons ago, prior to the games creation.

Chimerasprite2: The Denizens of each side have been in battle ever since, and it has horribly torn apart the new Half-Land.

Yttrim: Half-Land?

Chimerasprite2: Yes.

Ridams: llett me guess

Ridams: we have tto kiillll tthem?

Chimerasprite2: Nope!

Chimerasprite2: Only one of them will suffice.

Chimerasprite2: You can then choose on whether to let the remaining live or die.

Yttrim: Wha- will happen if we le- -he remaining live?

Chimerasprite2: I cannot answer that.

Ridams: iiff we kiillll tthem botth

Chimerasprite2: I cannot answer that either.

Yttrim: Well, wha- can you answer?

Ridams: how aboutt who tthiis ffutture sayllen iis

Chimerasprite2: Well, that should be obvious.

Chimerasprite2: She is a version of Saylen from a timeline that failed by her hand.

Yttrim Ridams: Wha—?

Chimerasprite2: What?

Chimerasprite2: She is the cause of her universe failing.

Chimerasprite2: Most likely here to attempt to fix things.

Ridams: by…

Yttrim: Killing Mis-uo?

Ridams: and llaughiing over hiis corpse

Yttrim: I don'- buy i-.

Ridams: same here

Ridams: you callll tthe otthers, iillll ffiigure outt whatt tto do

Yttrim: Good idea.

Yttrim: I didn'- -rus- -he fu-ure Say anyways.

Chimerasprite2: Oh my!

Chimerasprite2: It's bad when you don't trust someone!

Yttrim: Oh, I am doing far worse -han jus- no- -rus-ing her.

Yttrim: Contact the others

You take out your new Huskboy Advanced and open it up, going to Trolling and opening the group chat. Rainbow Fruity Rumpus Party. Nobody should let Cavdit name things.

hospitableSecondary [HS] joined the chat

Yttrim: Emergency mee-ing, everybody -ha- can ge- on, be-er get on.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] joined the chat

Firyut: *im #ere!*

quadriclopsRapper [QR] joined the chat

Cavdit: Yo.

Firyut: *o# lord*

Yttrim: No 'oh lords', we legi- need everyone.

timelessOceanographer [TO] joined the chat

Saylen: what's the matter?

Yttrim: Mos- likely you.

Saylen: excuse me?

trainingInformant [TI] joined the chat

Jazz: wazzup!

Jazz: i finally woke up and have some serious and sad news!

Yttrim: Holy hell, same here.

Jazz: what's your news first?

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] has joined the chat

Vlad: GReetings.

Saylen: shut up

Saylen: we g(o)t imp(o)rtant shit g(o)ing (o)n here

Vlad: Always a pleasuRe, Saylen.

Yttrim: Ok, we have everyone alive.

Yttrim: I -hink we have -o kill Saylen.

Saylen: i w(o)u[d [ike us n(o)t d(o) that

Jazz: same here!

Yttrim: No- -his Saylen.

Jazz: future, murdery Saylen?

Yttrim: Exac-ly.

Jazz: i second.

Saylen: what the fuck, Jazzy?

Jazz: she murdered Mistuo!

Jazz: he was one of y'all i actually liked!

Jazz: also, he said future you murdered him for no reason!

Saylen: (o)h

Vlad: I will have to second this notion.

Vlad: We can't just have a muRdeReR among us while we fight life and limb foR suRvival.

Firyut: *im sorry but i cant agree to t#is!*

Firyut: *i dont want to #urt someone!*

Jazz: *you don't have to*

Jazz: *we can get someone else to do that*

Yttrim: Yes, bu- who are we going -o ge- -o -ake care of her?

intimidatingSecondary [IS] joined the chat

Ridams: ii am more tthan wiilllliing

Yttrim: No we aren'-

Ridams: why nott

Yttrim: Because we have no way of ge-ing -o her plane-!

Ridams: yes we so

Yttrim: No we… don'-?

Ridams: we jjustt made a broom off ffllyiing

Ridams: jjustt hop on tthatt and fflly over tthere

Yttrim: -rough space.

Ridams: yes

Yttrim: Anyone else?

Vlad: I technically don't need to bReath.

Vlad: And I can fly.

Saylen: (o)h, (o)f c(o)urse y(o)u w(o)u[d want t(o) be the (o)ne that ki[s me.

Vlad: Well, who do you want to kill youR futuRe self?

Saylen: either me (o)r Jazzy.

Jazz: wait, i never signed up for this.

Saylen: then [(o)(o)ks [ike im ki[ing myse[f.

Firyut: *t#ats messed up*

Saylen: we[ she ki[ Mistu(o).

Cavdit: Yeah, does/\/'t /\/\atter ho\/\/ /\/\essed up it is.

Cavdit: Future bitch is dyi/\/g.

Vlad: Am I seRiously the only one that sees the undeRlying gay between him and Mistuo?

quadriclopsRapper [QR] banned reanimatedRenaissance [RR]

Cavdit: E\/eryo/\/e forget \/\/hat he just said.

Future!reanimatedRenaissance [FRR] 1 minutes from now joined the chat

Future!Vlad: That was unnecessaRy.

Cavdit: You're u/\/\/ecessary.

quadriclopsRapper [QR] banned Future!reanimatedRenaissance [FRR]

Cavdit: I thoroughly dislike hi/\/\\.

Saylen: same

Jazz: what is wrong with you two?

Jazz: Vlad is cool!

Saylen: he's a sarcastic assh(o)[e

Cavdit: That likes bei/\/g i/\/trusi\/e \/\/he/\/ he should/\/'t be.

Ridams: and iis super iirriittattiing

Ridams: somettiimes ii jjustt wantt tto riing hiis sttupiid vampiire neck

Yttrim: Ye-, you will no- when you -wo mee-.

Ridams: you dontt know tthatt

Firyut: *i #ave completely forgot w#at t#is was about*

Yttrim: *Fu-ure Saylen is no- wha- she says and we're planning her assassina-ion.*

Firyut: *i t#oug#t assassination was for political figures*

Jazz: *actually…*

Jazz: *it is.*

Jazz: *how did you know that?*

Firyut: *i dunno!*

Firyut: *i just do!*

Yttrim: *Well alrigh-y -hen.*

Yttrim: Bu-, yes, Saylen, i- appears you're in charge of your fu-ure selfs murder.

Yttrim: So basically your suicide.

Saylen: w(o)nderfu[

Saylen: a[ways what i wanted t(o) d(o)

Jazz: that's dark girl.

Saylen: [ife is dark

Saylen: and it a[ways wi[ be

Yttrim: Ok -hen.

Yttrim: So, we all know wha-'s going on now, yes?

Cavdit: Future Sayle/\/ is crazy a/\/d /\/ow Sayle/\/ is goi/\/g to /\/\urder her.

Yttrim: Four eyes go- i-.

Cavdit: \/ery fu/\/\/y.

Yttrim: I know.

Ridams: oh shiitt

Ridams: gott more iimps

Ridams: and ii tthiink an ogre

Ridams: whattever iitt iis iitts giiantt

Yttrim: Ah, hell.

Yttrim: Ok, emergency mee-ing over.

Ridams: sayllen

Ridams: kiillll yoursellff

Saylen: (o)n it

Yttrim: See you guys la-er, hopefully alive.

intimidatingPrimary [IP] has left the chat

hospitableSecondary [HS] has left the chat

Twins: Take care of the Imps

You put up your Huskboys and take out your new weapons. Time to see what a Blade of Venom and Black Rosen Shield can do. Sword first, always. You make a small charge towards the nearest Imp and cut into it, backing off to see the effects. The Imp stands for a second before getting a green face, throwing up their black ink and falling over, exploding into Grist. Lovely. Ok, defense time. A secondary Imp runs and Ridams lifts up shield, landing the bladed edge into the attacker. It exploded into Grist, but instead of it going into your inventory, it is sucked into the Black Rosen Shield! You look at the shield and see a small bar on the inside, with a meter going up that read: 'Charge Level: 7%'. The Black Rose did something with a charge. What was it again?

Before you can remember, the entire hive shakes as something large outside moves forward. You rush to the window and look out, seeing a giant Ogre almost right outside. It had a giant hockey mask on, a snake tail, seashells on its hips, and a cape… What the hell is everyone prototyping? Well, looks like you're going to get more charge on this shield. Have to see what it does all the way up.


	35. Bard: Ascend

Be Firyut

Well, you have certainly been busy. Returning to your hive, it seems you have a new collection of items you don't particularly recall making. Then again, you don't remember much anyways, so maybe you should take that with a grain of salt.

Firyut: so a quarter of t#e overwatc# community?

No. A whole lot less.

Firyut: funny

Thank you.

Firyut: Look over your new items

You walk to your more or less pile of crap and go through it. You have a large book containing all of your comics in one, singular compendium, you now have multiple Big Sticks making your current weapon count seven, and what looks like a baseball with stakes sticking out of it.

Firyut: wow did i seriously make all t#is?

Firyut: i must #ave blacked out at some point

Firyut: i would remember doing all t#is

Your soliloquy is stopped when there is a large flash of agate light that is instantly replaced by your Mousesprite.

Mousesprite: *Nope!*

Mousesprite: *I did while you were outside!*

Mousesprite: *I felt you could use a few more sticks, just in case yours broke!*

Firyut: o#!

Firyut: t#ank you mousesprite!

You pick up all the sticks and shove them into your Specibus, taking the Stick Ball and debating whether it goes into Sticktype or Balltype. You decide to keep it simple and put in with the sticks.

Firyut: cant go wrong wit# t#e original space

Firyut: ok w#at to do now?

Mousesprite: *Perhaps your Quest would be a good direction?*

Firyut: quests are good

Firyut: w#at i gotta do?

Mousesprite: Monologue

Mousesprite: *Look outside and tell me what you see.*

You do and… really don't see anything. Everything pass five feet it nothing but an extremely thick, gray fog.

Firyut: u...

Firyut: a lot of gray

Firyut: and a little bit of ground

Mousesprite: *Exactly.*

Mousesprite: *This Land's Denizen, Fitfulisus, has stopped the Grand Fan, a machine used to clear this mist from the Land.*

Mousesprite: *Prior to this situation, this was once the Land of Morning and Hills.*

Firyut: o# so it can keep its naming sc%eme t#ing!

Mousesprite: *Pardon?*

Firyut: land of morning and #ills land of mist and #allucinations

Firyut: it keeps the loma# t#ing

Mousesprite: *Oh, so it does!*

Mousesprite: *But, back to the Quest.*

Mousesprite: *Fitfulisus has broken the Grand Fan and is going to keep this Land in a perpetual state of blind hallucinations until it is fixed and he is defeated."

Firyut: neat

Firyut: so #ow am i gonna find my gate?

Firyut: if its so foggy i cant see very #ig# up and its supposedly super up t#ere!

Mousesprite: *Simple!*

Mousesprite: *Wait for your Server Player to build high enough and climb!*

Mousesprite: *You'll get there eventually!*

Firyut: so w#at?

Firyut: i just #ave to wait for w#oever to build me up

Firyut: w#os my server w#atever again?

Mousesprite: *The twins, Ridams and Yttrim.*

Firyut: welp i got a lot of time t#en

Firyut: t#ey wont do crap asides yell at eac# ot#er

Firyut: imma take a nap!

Mousesprite: *Of course.*

Firyut: Take a nap

You walk back into your respite block and climb in the recuperacoon. You bury yourself in the weird ass slime stuff to travel back to your moon, maybe get a look at a cloud or two. You close your eyes and quickly go to sleep.

Firyut: Dream

You open your eyes in your 'coon on Prospit, looking up and climbing out of the slime. You look yourself over and see the good 'ol golden pajamas clean as ever and missing a shoe… well, that's normal for you, so that's alright. You walk over to the window and observe to landscape, seeing that most of the Prospitians are gone asides-

Dream!Firyut: expi!

Yes, your Exile. Wandering-

Dream!Firyut: #ey!

Dream!Firyut: i t#oug#t you were dropping t#e dream t#ing?

Oh, yes, sorry. Now. Wander about at the foot of your tower is the short, lisping bookworm, appearing to be waiting. Actually, there seems to be someone down there with him, wearing the gold PJs as well.

Firyut: Visit the two figures

You hop out of the window and float down, tapping down on the ground behind Expi and a very certain Troll. You jump quietly and run towards Mistuo, tackling him to the ground in a deep, choking hug. You're pretty sure you heard multiple cracks on the landing.

Firyut: MISTUO!!!

Mistuo: -O-H SWEET JEGVS-

Firyut: youre alive!

Mistuo: Ah-

Mistuo: Ahem.

Mistuo: Yes.

Mistuo: Well, n-o-.

Mistuo: I am dead, yet here, I am alive.

Firyut: w#at?

Mistuo: Wait a sec-o-nd.

Mistuo: Can y-o-v hear me?

Firyut: yep!

Firyut: i can #ear #ere!

Mistuo: H-o-w?

Expi: I can anthwer that.

Expi: Prothpit ith a plane that allowth the player on it to rethort to their perthonally perfect thate.

Firyut: really?

Expi: Yeth!

Mistuo: Hvh, neat.

Firyut: but #ow are you alive #ere!?

Mistuo: I, with the assistance -o-f y-o-vr friend here, have dedvced the game gives vs mvltiple lives.

Mistuo: -O-ne being back -o-n -o-vr Lands.

Expi: And the other being here or Derthe.

Expi: And with a little digging into hithtory, we found the two can be combined.

Mistuo: I jvst have t-o- die here -o-n my Sacrificial Slab.

Firyut: sacriw#at in the w#at now?

Mistuo: Sacrificial Slab.

Expi: It'th one of four circular thlabs of thone in the center of Derthe and Prothpit.

Expi: They work the exact thame ath the Quetht Bedth in the Landth.

Mistuo: Fvtvre Say killed me bef-o-re I c-o-vld ascend in my first life.

Mistuo: N-o-w I'm trying t-o- find the entrance t-o- the caverns t-o- the Slabs.

Firyut: so you can die and ascned #ere?

Mistuo: N-o-w ya g-o-t it.

Mistuo: S-o- I g-o- d-o-wn there, die, apparently get g-o-d p-o-wers, mvrder fvtvre Say.

Firyut: actually current saylen is doing t#at

Mistuo: -O-h, w-o-nderfvl.

Mistuo: She did make an abvndance -o-f svicide j-o-kes.

Mistuo: Perhaps this will get her -o-vt -o-f that.

Firyut: dark

Expi: Really dark.

Mistuo: N-o-, what's dark is that I'm pvurp-o-sely finding a piece -o-f r-o-ck t-o- die -o-n.

Expi: Altho dark.

Expi: Ok, moving on before I develop clinical deprethion.

Expi: Thlabs.

Expi: I might know a guy.

Mistuo: That can get me d-o-wn t-o- the center -o-f the m-o-o-n?

Expi: Yeth.

Firyut: convenience!

Firyut: lets go!

Mistuo: Agreed, I feel the f-o-ll-o-wing events are t-o-o- imp-o-rtant t-o- dilly dally -o-n.

Firyut: i like t#at word

Firyut: dilly dally

Exp: Dilly dally.

Mistuo: Yes, it is a fvn thing t-o- say.

Mistuo: Dilly dally.

Firyut: dilly dally

Expi: Dilly dally.

Firyut: ok lets go

Firyut: t#is w#ole situation is going now#ere aside filling t#e word count

Mistuo: What?

Firyut: to t#e slabs!

You cut off your Moirail and Exile as you start walking in a direction, which Expi quickly jumps in front of and leads. As it turns out, you were heading in the mostly correct direction, most likely due to you skipping ahead and reading the script, but I won't call you out on it. Oops, too late.

Group: Find the Sacrificial Slabs

You follow the short Prospitian for a good ten to fifteen minutes, mostly certain he is simply wandering lost. Your assumption is quickly broken when Expi comes to a stop in front of a rather small yet official looking, possibly religious like building.

Expi: Thith ith it.

Expi: Thadly, I cannot go in with you.

Expi: Only the Guardian of the Thlabth and the heroeth may enter.

Firyut: aww really?

Expi, I'm thorry, but yeth.

Mistuo: Well, thank y-o-v f-o-r taking vs this far, at least.

Mistuo: Bvt we mvst away.

Firyut: see ya in a bit expi

Expi: Until then.

You wave to the Prospitian as Mistuo opens the door, walking inside beside you. The inside looked pretty nice, for a religious place. Despite looking so small from the outside, the entrance hall was very spacious, having a large, long red carpet leading down the center with standing candles along the sides, framed portraits of the heroes from the Hall of Heroes on the walls, and a giant golden chandelier hanging from the ceilings at even, twenty to twenty-five foot intervals.

At the foot of the red carpet stood a tall, very official look Prospitian in golden and red armor with a sabre strapped to her side. He steps forward and gives a bow to you and Mistuo.

Prospitian: Ah, the Heroes of Breath and Doom.

Prospitian: I was awaiting you arrival.

Hermes: My name is Hermes, the Guardian of the Slabs.

Mistuo: Greetings.

Mistuo: My name is Mistv-o- Fitera.

Mistuo: If my vndertanding is cvrrect, I am the Her-o- -o- Breath.

Firyut: and im firyut gionta!

Firyut: the w#atever of w#atever t#e ot#er t#ing was!

Hermes: Hmm, interesting.

Hermes: I can only assume you are here for the Sacrificial Slabs and their use?

Mistuo: I am, Firyvt still has the ability t-o- Ascend -o-n her Land.

Firyut: im just #ere to be #onest

Hermes: Lovely.

Hermes: Alright, if you would so kindly follow me, I shall show you the way.

Firyut: yea#!

Firyut: s#ow us da wae!

Mistuo: Did-

Mistuo: Did y-o-v seri-o-vsly jvst meme?

Firyut: yep

Mistuo: I swear t-o- every deity created in hist-o-ry, memes are g-o-ing t-o- be the death -o-f me.

Hermes: At least wait until we get to your Slab, please.

Mistuo: -O-f c-o-vrse, ap-o-l-o-gies.

Firyut: sorry mister #ermes

You go quiet and stay behind the Guardian, passing the portraits and seeing a few more than there was in the statue hall. There was the humans John, Jade, Jake and Jane, along with other Trolls; Karkat, Terezi, a lot of them. There was also some skeleton looking person. She actually looked a little cute. Is that even possible? You come up to a large doorway over a very deep staircase, more than likely going to the moon's core with the Slabs.

Along the way down, the amount of light quickly lowers until the torches on the side walls were roughly thirty to forty feet away, some not even being lit at times. After what feels like hours, you and your Moirail reaches a extremely empty space, almost as vast as it is dark. The Prospitian turns to the two and points to the center of the room.

Hermes: The Slabs are in the center, floating around each other.

Hermes: Be careful, as it is difficult to find the correct symbol with the darkness.

Mistuo: Thank y-o-v, Hermes.

Mistuo: We w-o-n't take t-o-o- l-o-ng.

Hermes: It doesn't take long to kill yourself.

Firyut: you are extremely dark you know t#at?

Hermes: My job is literally escorting people to their death, you gain a dark view of life with this job.

Hermes: Speaking of death, would you like the ceremonial sabre or do you have other weapons?

Firyut: i #ave a stick!

Hermes: …

Hermes: Is this seriously another one of the heroes?

Mistuo: I gvess s-o-.

Hermes: Alright, I suppose if it will work.

Hermes: Will be fairly painful and slow no doubt.

Firyut: no it wont

Firyut: i know #ow to use a stick quick

Mistuo: It's trve.

Mistuo: I -o-nce watched her take d-o-wn f-o-vr archnidbeasts at -o-nce in the span -o-f six minvtes.

Hermes: I have no idea what those are.

Hermes: But I assume it translate to she can get the job done?

Mistuo: Yes it d-o-es.

Hermes: Than I suppose this is a farewell for now, yes?

Mistuo: I believe s-o-.

Firyut: ill be back in a minute mister #ermes

Firyut: come on mostuo

Firyut: lets do t#is and stop stalling

Firyut: itll #urt less t#e sooner we do it

Mistuo: I svpp-o-se y-o-v're right.

Mistuo and Firyut: Find the Slab

You both float off the stairs and into the empty space, going in the direction Hermes pointed to. It takes a minute until Mistuo somehow trips and falls flat on his face onto a floating circle of blues rock. Seems he caught his foot right on the edge going at a fairly fast pace. He pushes himself up to show a large blue symbol, looking like an upright squiggly line but extremely thicker.

Mistuo: Well, seems like this is mine.

Firyut: yep

Mistuo: Where I'm g-o-ing t-o- die.

Firyut: yep

Mistuo: D-o- I jvst…

Mistuo: Lay -o-n it?

Firyut: yep

Mistuo: -O-k, I gvess I'll jvst…

Mistuo lays down on the rock and folds his hands on his chest, looking straight up. You take out your stick and look your Moirail over, trying the best not to think about the situation.

Firyut: now you really wanna go t#roug# wit# t#is?

Firyut: dont wanna just #ang out on a moon for a w#ile?

Mistuo: L-o-o-k, Acc-o-rding t-o- Saylen, I'm the m-o-st imp-o-rtant pers-o-n -o-n the team.

Mistuo: I learned fr-o-m Expi that when we Ascend, we gr-o-w vnbelievably str-o-nger.

Mistuo: If that is trve, and -o-vr Saylen d-o-esn't svcceed in killing her fvtvre self, s-o-me-o-ne has t-o-.

Firyut: i guess

Firyut: dammit

Firyut: i saa t#is coming but its still so damn #ard…

Mistuo: Listen, I kn-o-w it is, bvt it'll -o-nly be w-o-rse the m-o-re y-o-v wait.

Firyut: i know

Firyut: so

Firyut: w#at #appens w#en i do t#is?

Mistuo: Fr-o-m what I gathered, I sh-o-vd gain a new b-o-dy -o-n the center planet -o-f the ring -o-f Lands called Skaia.

Mistuo: I'll have a new b-o-dy and s-o-me kind -o-f p-o-wers.

Firyut: probably somet#ing to air since youre a #ero of breat#?

Mistuo: I assvme.

Firyut: ok

Firyut: and if t#is…

Firyut: doesnt work?

Mistuo: …

Mistuo: Jvst d-o-n't think ab-o-vt it.

Firyut: im trying not to

Firyut: i just…

Firyut: i know everyt#ing is going to work out

Firyut: i can see it is

Firyut: t#is is just so goddamn #ard!

You fall onto your knees on the slab and drop the stick, closing yours eyes to not see the bright orange tears falling onto the stone. The light dripping echoes across the core of the moon, bouncing back and hitting you harder than when they left, only to make you cry more. In the dark, you feel a light hand place itself on your shoulder, making you jump and open your eyes again, meeting Mistuo's as your hair parts, a nearly once in a lifetime thing.

Mistuo: Firyvt.

Mistuo: L-o-o-k at me.

Mistuo: This wh-o-le stivati-o-n, n-o-t jvst what happened t-o- me, is the biggest thing that has ever happened t-o- any -o-f vse.

Mistuo: Whether it be g-o-o-d -o-r bad, it has happened.

Mistuo: We can either w-o-rk with it, and have a chance -o-f svrviving, -o-r w-o-rk against it and die.

Mistuo: All -o-f vs die.

Mistuo: D-o- this, and I can help get vs -o-vt -o-f here faster.

Mistuo: D-o- y-o-v vnderstand?

Firyut: i-i-i…

Mistuo: D-O- Y-O-V VNDERSTAND?

You wince. Mistuo has never raised his voice at anyone, let alone you. You swallow and nod, moving your hair back over your eyes as usual.

Firyut: y-yes

Firyut: yes i understand

Mistuo: G-o-o-d.

Mistuo: I'm s-o-rry I raised my v-o-ice like that.

Firyut: its alrig#t

Firyut: just lay down so i can do t#is

Mistuo: -O-f c-o-vrse.

Mistuo lays back down and takes a deep breath, nodding up to say he's ready. You wipe your face clear and stands back up, picking up the stick. You hover he sharpened end above the center of Mistuo's chest and look him over. You know every vital part of a Troll's anatomy, so you know that if you strike where you're planning it will be painless and instantaneous.

Firyut: Strike

You lift up and hold your breath, striking down as hard as you can into your Mourail's chest. You look down and see the limp body of the once poet, impaled with a now moss-blood covered tree branch. You have to yank it out to get it back, leaving a large hole in where his heart once was. This whole situation leaves you with a feeling of nausea, almost making you vomit over the edge.

You take a breath to adjust yourself before stepping off the stone, starting back towards the stairs and the Guardian. He watches as you float up the stairs, walking behind and staying professionally quiet the entire time. In the hall, you look to the paintings and realize they all had a candle underneath them. The one under Mistuo was now lit up, signifying his Ascension.

You stop at the door and turn back, looking up at the Prospitian. You give a faint bow in which he returns, extending his hand to shake. You do and begin a faint tearing up again.

Firyut: um…

Firyut: t#ank you mister #ermes

Hermes: It is of no problem, Madam Gionta.

Hermes: I hope to see you again.

Firyut: preferably under better circumstances

Hermes: Yes, much better.

Firyut: until t#en

Hermes: Until then.

You turn and exit the building, looking up into the sky to observe the clouds. In them, you see a very similar scene but with different people. The first is of Jazzmyne, arguing with another human and a Dersite before all three getting caught off guard by a dark green light being shot into the sky above them. The second is Saylen, standing in front of a giant tree and staring at the sky, seeming to wait for someone as the light appears again. She turns her attention at the light as it is covered with a shadow of a floating character. The third goes towards the twins, looking up in equal awe with their Sprite. Then it towards Cavdit, appearing to be far too busy working on his pad and temple while his Sprite yells at him to notice the light behind him. Lastly, Vlad, who was stuck underground with the only view to the light is a large hole in the ceiling, giving the most perfect of views.

You turn to the building and look up at the perfect moment. The green light that was in the cloud visions erupted from the building, shooting directly into the Battlefield of Skaia. Unbeknownst to you, the spot in which the light lands, a Hero is reborn. A Moss-blooded Troll with fox-like horns, now wearing the garb of a bright blue Bard stands on a checkerboard-esque landscape. He looks out to see a giant, black beast weilding a giant scepter with what looks like Skaia atop walking across the land.

Mistuo: Well.

Mistuo: My cl-o-thing appears t-o- have an vneccessary c-o-dpiece.

Mistuo: L-o-vely.


	36. Self Conflict

Saylen: Confront yourself

You look to the skies as the green beam of light dispersed, leaving only the image of your future self flying back down onto the ground. You quickly equip your pistol and stand your ground, watching as your other half lands and laughs. She turns to look where the light was and shrugs.

Future!Saylen: we[

Future!Saylen: [(o)(o)ks [ike i [eft a few [(o)(o)se strings there

Future!Saylen: accidents happen

Saylen: accidents?

Saylen: fucking ACCIDENTS?!?!

Saylen: y(o)u ki[ed (o)ne (o)f (o)ur best friends!

Future!Saylen: a needed sacrifice

Saylen: f(o)r what!?!?

Future!Saylen: f(o)r reas(o)ns

Future!Saylen: inv(o)[ving my (o)rders

Saylen: (o)rders?!

Future!Saylen: fr(o)m my universe's versi(o)n (o)f jack n(o)ir

Saylen: wh(o) the fuck is jack n(o)ir!?

Future!Saylen: (o)h y(o)u[ find (o)ut eventua[y

Future!Saylen: [(o)ng st(o)ry sh(o)rt

She bend her head to the side and grabbed her shirt collar, pulling it down and showing a pair of large bite marks. She then opened her mouth wide to expose her… well, already sharp fangs. Although, now the appeared longer and came up to a more dangerous point.

Saylen: what…

Future!Saylen: rainb(o)w drinker

Future!Saylen: at [east what happens when a human turns a dersite that pr(o)ceeds t(o) turn a tr(o)[

Future!Saylen: basica[y with a[ the cr(o)ssbreeding (o)f drinkerism there is a [(o)t (o)f changes

Future!Saylen: the main being after the sec(o)nd time its passed d(o)wn

Future!Saylen: the (o)ne that bit the (o)ne be[(o)w it has n(o) c(o)ntr(o)[

Future!Saylen: meaning i can g(o) between here and my universe under the ruse (o)f f(o)[(o)wing jacks (o)rders

Saylen: why are y(o)u te[ing me a[ this!?

Future!Saylen: because

Future!Saylen: (o)ne (o)f us is p(o)werfu[

Saylen: m(o)re than (o)ne w(o)u[d be…?

Future!Saylen: c(o)mp[ete[y unst(o)ppab[e

Saylen: y(o)ure crazy!

Saylen: i w(o)u[d never d(o) that t(o) my friends!

Future!Saylen: even ridams?

Saylen: even ridams!

Future!Saylen: (o)h b(o)(o) and here i th(o)ught i was g(o)ing t(o) be reas(o)nable

Saylen: what d(o)es that mean?

Future!Saylen: this

Before you could respond, she lifts her arm and hand in a way of holding a gun. A flash of red light appears in the air around it before her strange, god like blunderbuss appears in her hand.

Saylens: Strife

In retaliation you aim as fast as you could, firing an extremely off shot at your future self. Even with a huge whip to the shot, you make contact with her arm, making a small reaction that caused her to drop her gun. At least, you're certain you did. After a second your vision must have fixed itself, as the other you was now holding the gun again and completely healed. Although, one small new detail was that her blown out eye had a red glow around it. Well, more of a thick red smoke coming from it.

You gather yourself and do again, firing with a steadier hand. Your opponent does the same, firing a very steady blast towards you. You are both able to jump out of the way, rolling ask the trees behind are blasted nearly in half, both falling down with loud booms. The other you rolls out of the way and fires again. You dodge in time, only barely grazing your arm with a thin stream of Plum blood slipping out. Grabbing to hold the blood in, you start in the direction of the trees, turning back and shooting off three time, all missing horribly.

You make your way back into the treetop town and run along the floor, trying your best to retrace your steps. You feel if you can get back to your hive you'll be safe. Your Lusus-Sprite should know what to do. Hopefully. He is part Doctor after all! You reach around the center of town before getting blinded by a bright, red explosion of light, quickly exposing the future version of you.

Future!Saylen: hi!

Saylen: bye!

Saylen: Abscond

You barely lift your arm and shoot her in the foot, that one properly staying. Strange how the other injury disappeared. Or… never happened? In her damaged and pained state you turn and run in a random direction, hoping to find something or someone to help you. Sadly, rounding a small wall of solid trees, the only thing you find are Imps and a Basilisk.

Saylen: fucking yay

Unsure of why you said that, you step back and hide behind the trees, looking over your shoulder for your future self. Luckily, she was nowhere to be seen at the moment. That's one obstacle out of the way for the time. Now for the other four.

You quickly step and turn around the tree wall, aiming up and firing, already blasting two through each other. The other Imp notices and charges, claws and pointed teeth at the ready as the Basilisk stays nearer the back. Thank goodness your Doctor Who inspired blunderbuss doesn't require to be reloaded, or else this little otter looking Imp would have gotten close. Instead, you completely blow it's head off, exploding it's body into Grist and ink. The Basilisk stays stalking at a distance, looking you up and down before taking a small step forward. This was enough for your itchy trigger finger to pull, blasting a hole dead in the center of the creatures back.

You gather all the Grist and continue, trying to find out where in the hell you've found yourself in. There seems to be a much greater abundance of foliage and denser woods than the other areas. You keep your guard all the way up until you find a building that seems at least a little bit artificial, assuming it must be a different portion of your hive. Upon closer inspection, you realize that this place is far too dilapidated to be your living life building, and definitely too small. Whatever it is, there is a door underneath a thick layer of vines and foliage.

Saylen: Enter the building

Assuming it could be used as a good hiding place, you force the vines to the side and walk in. You move the vines back into place, working around a little to make it more covering. Hopefully this will keep the other you away for a longer time. You turn and look around in the pitch black, taking out the Sonicblunder and pull the hammer back. You're not quite sure why, but it did let off a light green glow and the normal humming noise. Wonderful. Definitely needed when trying to hide.

Saylen: Explore the building

You see the area you're in is like a large lobby with benches along the sides. At the far end across from you was what looked like the stands at a bus terminal, with the rolly thingies on the sides of each. What are those things called again? Whatever. You walk up and hop over them, going farther in to see the inner workings of the building. After a small walk you come across a decently sized room with seven pads on the floor. Each one has a different symbol on them, all fairly strange looking. There is a black, spiked skull ball thing, a pair of blue squiggly lines, a white spiral thing, a red dripping cut looking symbol, a green ball with three curves coming off of it, pair of white wings, and a purple… uh… ok, that ones hard to describe. Look, you guys already get what this is about, it's the Rage symbol. Just don't tell Firyut, she'll blab about like crazy.

You come up to them and see there are small lights surrounding the outline, all ondespite this place having absolutely no way of receiving power. You look ine over and get the feeling you're suppose to step on it, but for some reason you also feel you shouldn't. Although, one thing that called for you to do so is the echo of the vines moving in the other room, followed by footsteps. Damn, looks like you haven't outran her yet. Looks like stepping on it is the only option!

Saylen: Step on the pad

You hop onto the stone circle quickly and see that it… Well, doesn't particularly do anything. At least, for the first few moments at least. After roughly ten second the pad starts to light up the teal color of the symbol, starting to raise up and encompass your entire body. After a second, you are completely blinded by the sudden blast if light. You are knocked off your feet right onto your ass when you reappear, dazed and confused as to what happened.

Once your vision is restored and head is cleared, you stand up and gain your balance, taking a look at the new area. It's the exact same as the other room, except completely lit up with no trace of plantlife inside. Right under you, the symbol on the has changed from that of the circle with tentacle things to the bright red gear. The exact same that was on future you's pajamas.

You step off the pad and walk out of the room slowly, keeping your guard as high as physically possible, and then a bit more. At the end of the hallway before you get out you hear people talking. It's very hard to make out, but you're certain that voice is…

Saylen: jazzy?

You lean closer and listen in.

Jazz: -station between Lands?

BP: Basically, yes.

Jazz: so I can just hop from here to say LoFaF in a second?

BP: Yes.

Cuz: Sounds bitchin'.

BP: Very.

Jazz: but why are there the rotary things if no ones here to actually take our money or open it for us?

BP: Because Consorts are retarded as all hell.

Well, it seems like this is a friendly and accurate conversation going on here. You step out of the hallway and basically walk straight into the human you've known for so long now.

Jazz: oh!

Jazz: sorry, sorry!

Jazz: that was my fau-...

Jazz: Say?

Saylen: hey jazzy

The human looks up at you-you're surprised at how freaking short she is!-and just stares for a second. A quick smirk comes across her face as she comes onto a hug. You're not completely sure why, but you move into it, wrapping your arms around the little human.

Jazz: I am so fucking happy you're ok!

Cuz: Well, I wouldn't say ok.

Cuz: Her arms got a nasty cut on it.

BP: She appears to be bleeding profusely.

Saylen: what?

You look down and realize you completely forgot about the bullet graze from your future self. You wave it off and chuckle.

Saylen: nah its fine

Saylen: tr(o)[s are super durab[e

Saylen: this is n(o)thing

Saylen: but what isnt n(o)thing is my future se[f is a maniac!

Saylen: she sh(o)t me and ki[ed mistu(o) and i can (o)n[y assume ruin the game t(o) c(o)ntr(o)[ everything!

Jazz: …

Cuz: …

BP: …

Jazz: and you deduced this how exactly?

Saylen: it just seems [ike s(o)mething i w(o)u[d d(o) if i was uber p(o)werfu[


	37. Stereotypical Villain Monologue Ver 1

== Jazz: Realize something

You look up at the extremely taller Troll through your gas mask, very happy to finally see one of your alien friends in real life. Although, you do realize one thing when Saylen takes a breath and starts coughing like crazy. She needs a mask! You were certain everyone was going to go the traditional route and appearify at your house. You have to do something, quickly!

You reach into your Modus and look around, frantically trying to find a… gas mask! Thank god you made a few of these things! Except, your Modus classifies it as Poison-type, meaning you have very, very little to take it out with. You need either Ground- or Psychic-type items, and that's harder than you think! It's hard to know what the Modus considers a specific typing. Not to mention, Psychic-type stuff is hard to find!

Come on Jazzmyne, think! There has to be something for a Poison-type thing! Wait… Poison is weak to Poison! You go through your items and grab the one thing you own that is classified as that. A Dowel. You pick it up, move it over the mask, and drop it, making both shoot out of the Modus and in front of you. You quickly grab that mask and shove it onto Saylen's face, making sure she can breathe before strapping it on. The Troll takes a deep breath and coughs for a few moments before standing up straight again.

Saylen: t-thanks jazzy…

Saylen: (o)h g(o)d what was that?

Cuz: This planet has an acid atmosphere.

BP: You need a gas mask to survive if you haven't evolved to filter it yourself.

Jazz: so i made a few of them in case i ran into anyone that needed it.

Jazz: so, yeah.

Saylen: we[[ then

Saylen: thanks

Saylen: but m(o)ving back a bit

Saylen: i d(o)nt think this is a g(o)(o)d p[ace t(o) ta[k right n(o)w

Jazz: why's that?

Saylen: i think future me saw which thing i stepped (o)n

Saylen: she may be here s(o)(o)n

Cuz: Wait.

Cuz: The you that killed that other Troll with the kinda fox looking horns?

BP: That probably led to that big light in the sky that was him dying on the Sacrificial Slab.

Jazz: which from what i've gathered is him Ascending to God Tier.

Saylen: yeah

Saylen: that me

Cuz: …

Jazz: …

BP: …

Cuz: Alright, let's kick her ass!

BP: Hell yeah!

Jazz: it seems like the only logical solution to be honest

Saylen: we[[ maj(o)rity v(o)te has it as yes

Saylen: except y(o)u d(o)n't kn(o)w a[[ the facts

Saylen: and the facts are she can murder a[[ (o)f us with(o)ut even trying

Saylen: n(o)t (o)n[y because its me but because she has time p(o)wers

Cuz: Time powers?

Saylen: i sh(o)t her and at the same time it was [ike i didnt

Saylen: she hea[ed herse[f that quick[y

BP: Oh shit.

BP: That's not good.

Cuz: Why not?

BP: Sounds like the Sylph of Time, a Player that can heal using moments and time.

BP: Also, they have minor time traveling capabilities.

Saylen: she said she came fr(o)m a different time[ines future

BP: Ok, so a little greater time traveling abilities.

Future!Saylen: we[[ pers(o)na[[y i think my ski[[s are awes(o)me

You all jump hearing the second Saylen's voice, turning around and arming yourselves. You with you Laser Pen, Cuz and her freaking Kienza Machetes, the Princess with apparently a large jagged dagger, and finally, your Saylen and her weird… very Doctor Who styled pistol. I think we handle giving the bitch a little beat down.

Future!Saylen: w(o)w w(o)w w(o)w

Future!Saylen: ca[m d(o)wn every(o)ne

Cuz: Shut up.

You cousin decides to skip the more than likely incoming monologue and blasts the temporal intruder. She swings and, although missing on the actual swing, launched a glowing green Kienzan towards the seadweller. This is when you realized what sort of danger you were in. The future version of Saylen simply holds up her hand, makes her eye do the red glowing thing, and causes the disc to stop in midair. She then flicks her hand and makes the disc go in reverse, the exact same way it came the first time, until it was right in front of Cuz before disappearing.

Future!Saylen: did i n(o)t just say ca[m d(o)wn?

Cuz: I…

Cuz lowers her machetes and rubs the back if her neck.

Cuz: Huh…

Cuz: Well, ya got my attention.

Jazz: Cuz!

Cuz: She caught a fucking Destructo Disc, Jazz!

Jazz: i…

Jazz: good point.

BP: There seems to be a lot less severity in y'alls tones right now.

Cuz: Well, in case you didn't notice, she is seriously overpowering us at the moment.

Jazz: someone that can control time and catch a freaking Kienzan is not to be taken lightly.

BP: The hell even is a Kienzan?

Future!Saylen: a dumb disc fr(o)m an anime that can cut thr(o)ugh an entire m(o)untain

Future!Saylen: anyways!

Future:Saylen: sup bitches?

Saylen: get the fuck away fr(o)m us

Future!Saylen: im s(o)rry but y(o)u have n(o) right t(o) be demanding things

Future!Saylen: in case y(o)u need a recap i have the p(o)wers (o)f time

Future!Saylen: hea[ing

Future!Saylen: and a gun i g(o)t f(o)r bec(o)ming a g(o)d

Future!Saylen: what d(o) y(o)u have?

Saylen: superi(o)rity in numbers

Saylen: g(o)(o)d intenti(o)ns f(o)r everything

Future!Saylen: even cavdick?

Saylen: even cavdick

Future!Saylen: we[[ y(o)u (o)bvi(o)s[y have a greater respect f(o)r [ife than i d(o)

Future!Saylen: [isten right n(o)w y(o)ure a[[ necessary f(o)r my p[ans

Future!Saylen: y(o)u are a[[ g(o)ing t(o) p[ay this stupid game unti[ i d(o)nt need y(o)u anym(o)re

Future!Saylen: then i[[ d(o) s(o)mething [ater maybe

Jazz: probably kill us?

Future!Saylen: pr(o)bab[y

Jazz: and if we dont?

Future!Saylen: i[[ ki[[ y(o)u n(o)w and turn int(o) rainb(o)w drinker and make y(o)u

Jazz: very compelling argument

Cuz: Extremely so.

Saylen: as much as i hate t(o) say it

Saylen: i[[ c(o)mp[y

Future!Saylen: g(o)(o)d!

Future!Saylen: n(o)w

Future!Saylen: this is exact[y what i need y(o)u a[[ t(o) d(o)

Future!Saylen: p[ay the game

Jazz: …and?

Future!Saylen: pr(o)ceed as y(o)u n(o)rma[[y w(o)u[d if i didnt interfere

Jazz: wait a second.

Jazz: if you want us to go along as of nothing has changed.

Jazz: why show yourself and say you're going to kill us?

Jazz: wouldn't it have made more since for you to stay quiet and not give this knowledge?

Future!Saylen: uh…

Jazz: you know, so you didn't give us the possibility to alter things so they work against you.

Future!Saylen: uhhhh…

Jazz: as well as make greater advancements so we could be able to defend ourselves against you.

Future!Saylen: …

Future:Saylen: fuck y(o)u guys!

With that, the future version of Saylen flashes bright red and disappears, leaving a small imprint of the Time symbol in the ground. You four all look at each other before present Saylen puts away her gun and rubs the bridge of her nose.

Saylen: i hate myse[f s(o)metimes

== Be Future!Saylen

You change your attention to the invading time traveler and where she disappeared to after that situation. Due to her being the only Saylen in the scene, we will only refer to her as just Saylen.

Saylen: dammit!

Saylen: jazzy a[ways was the smart (o)ne

Saylen: sh(o)u[dve taken her (o)ut instead (o)f mistu(o)

Saylen: wait

Saylen: shit!

Saylen: i f(o)rg(o)t he ascended!

Saylen: (o)k i have t(o)...

Saylen: i have t(o) rep[an s(o)me things

== Saylen: Call Jack

You take out your eyepatch and slip it back on, tapping the side to make the computer screen shine out in front of you. You flip to whatever the social connecting service is called because the writer is too busy with a wedding to think if a name, and go onto Noir's channel. It takes a second but you are soon met with the pure black Dersite on the other end.

Jack: What?

Saylen: im pissed at y(o)u

Saylen: y(o)u were supp(o)sed to ki[[ the f(o)x eared her(o)

Saylen: what happened?

Jack: I sent Droll down there, the little shit hasn't come back yet.

Saylen: i said f(o)r y(o)u specifica[[y t(o) d(o) it!

Saylen: n(o)w the f(o)x assh(o)[e is in g(o)d tier n(o)w

Jack: What?

Saylen: y(o)ur [itt[e friend caused the biggest th(o)rn in (o)ur side t(o) bec(o)me a g(o)d!

Saylen: but the thing is

Saylen: i kn(o)w wh(o) he[ped him

Saylen: an(o)ther tr(o)[[

Saylen: grey skin

Saylen: m(o)use shaped h(o)rns (o)ne is chipped

Saylen: a[[ (o)range hair aside tw(o) b[ack strips

Saylen: pr(o)bab[y wearing a fake m(o)use tai[

Jack: Understood.

Jack: We'll focus on her right now.

Saylen: b(o)th (o)n her [and and (o)n pr(o)spit

Saylen: shes the biggest barrier t(o) us making a universe t(o) ru[e

Jack: Understood.

Saylen: say[en (o)ut

Jack: Jack, off.

I can't believe we're ending it on that joke. I deserve a raise for that. I need a raise for everything at this point, who agrees?


	38. Cavdit: Upgrade

== Be Cavdit

During your time in this game you have been able to make a decent amount of items to help your quest. Spiked, electrical brass knuckles, your two pairs of glasses that you combined into just one pair with the lenses on top and bottom that doubles as your computer, and your mirror thing with some batteries to make an electric mirror. You're not quite sure why or how it works. It still works like a mirror, so as long as you can see yourself, you consider it a success. Anything with your four-eyed face on it is a success.

You have also been trying to study more on the Lotus Pad to understand what exactly it is, and why it's here in the first place. Yes, it provides you with materials and food and apparently game stuff, but that's what you're trying to understand. You've actually decided you will take the role of a nerd over being a rapper for the time being until you learn all you can of this thing. It is a most troublesome burden, but it is one a truly humble man of skill must undertake! Sadly, we only have you for now. A narcissistic twat with heavy delusions of grandeur and an overly compensating lifestyle.

== Cavdit: Take a well deserved break

You stand from the Pad and stretch, looking around your hive. Thankfully, your hive is fairly Imp-free due to you being a smart and defending your place with electro-mines and shocking bear traps. Sometimes, the random crap this thing threw out can end up being useful! Actually…

==Cavdit: Search your junk room

You step off the pedestal and go into one of your rooms you threw up when you started living here. The one you chose to visit is the exact same one you found the mines and bear traps for the Alchemizing. You really wish you used the bear traps before all this with your stupid Lusus. Entering the room, you feel almost instantly lost as everything is randomly thrown about in a series of piles. Yet somehow, you're able to identify what each pile is composed of and how deep into you have to dig for a certain something or other.

Let's see here, first pile. Also the smallest pile, this one was composed of all the broken and majorly useless things. Example: a broken chainsaw, a collection empty mechanical pencils, a box containing broken mechanical pencil that doesn't close all the way, a clock with only one hand, a sandless hourglass, a cracked skull and some pieces of glass. Mostly useless, but the hourglass can be easily fixable and the skull can make some neat decorative items. Hell, might just make yourself some skull-shaped top-bottom glasses. You take the skull, hourglass and the clock, because why not?

Second pile, this time of different clothing items you never cares for or got around to wearing. A number of shirts with weird monster things from some human video game, a few baseball caps, a pair of aviator shades with a really faded signature, something that looks like a square screen thing on a wristband, kinda like a watch-phone. Not a lot you'd care to do with really. Maybe take the watch-phone thing and making something with that. You take the watch-phone.

Third and second largest pile, full of movies and games you don't have the proper thing to play them in. A lot from a company called Nintendo that Jazz has a boner for, but all the cartridges are for really ancient and primitive consoles, some from a company called Sega with a blue… something on the front, and one controller sort of thing, except it's connected to a glove instead of being its own stand alone controller. Reading the side, you see that it is labeled the NES Power Glove. That you can definitely use. As for the movies, they were just a bunch of VHS tapes with faded titles. You could only make out a few of them; Lady and the Tramp, Where the Red Fern Grows, Robin Hood, and, one that takes a drastic turn from these, House of the Devil. You're going to leave most of these, but you are taking the Power Glove and one of the games with the blue whatsoever.

Last pile, and undoubtedly the best, is filled with different electronic devices and doodads. Just on the top is one of your personal favorites, a holographic projector. Although fairly small, this thing can make perfect 3D images of anything with beams of light. Definitely taking that. Under that is a series of husktops of different shapes and sizes and by different companies, some of the good old fashioned tesla coil things, one of those electric ball things, all the stereotypical sci-fi lab items. You grab the projector and the tesla coils. Now for the fun part.

== Cavdit: Begin Alchemizing spree

You make your way back into the main room of your hive and pull out a number of Dowels from the weird machine, placed them onto the Totem Lathe, and started punching the shit out of some cards. You also slip off your electric/spiked brass knuckles and punch them as well. You have an idea that you're not too sure is gonna work or not.

First, see what you can do with an hourglass. You think for a second before picking up the skull card, deciding to experiment. That's what Alchemy is about, after all! You toss them onto the Lathe and make a fairly awkward looking Totem. You take it and set it up onto the Alchemiter and check what all you need and holy _FUCK_ , this thing is expensive. 1200 Build Grist, 650 Cobalt, 500 Amber, 250 Ruby and 100 Diamond. You open up your Huskglasses and open up a game screen, clicking on the Grist tab to see what your resources are at the moment. Well, it appears you may have everything aside the Cobalt and Diamonds. Ok, the hourglass/skull combo is going to have to wait.

Next up, hopefully something not as expensive, the watch-phone and clock. It shouldn't take too much to make this, it's basically going to turn into a digital watch. You add them together and find that the Totem is fairly simple. You've come to assume the more simple the Totem, the cheaper and simpler it will be. You place it on and… yep, only takes 30 Build Grist. That you definitely have enough of. You make the iWrist-Clock! You slip it on and see that it actually has a number of other functions aside just being a watch, such as a cellphone, music, and messaging apps, as well as an abundance of unneeded pride and feeling you're going to spend hundreds of hours updating it every month!

Next thing coming up is the thing you are certain will not work, but you might as well try anyways. This is a three parter, so hopefully at least one part with go through alright. Step one: Spiked Shockers plus Tesla Coils. You place the two into the Lathe and create the Totem, taking it to the Alchemiter and somehow creating a rather interesting looking pair of brass knuckles! There have the similar build to regular brass knuckles but now the spikes have small rings around them that has heavy bolts of electricity shooting between them. You made the Tesla Knuckles! Step two: NES Power Gloves and Tesla Knuckles. You punch your new weapons into the Designix in create a new Totem with the two. Well, it's expensive, but nowhere near as much as the hourglass and skull. You combine them and make some pretty badass looking gauntlets. They are the normal looking NES Power Gloves but are now fitted with the Tesla Coils lining the top with the same ring covered spikes on the front, with the buttons on the side now having been replaced with a scale for the amount of amps to shoot out, and buttons to set for 'STUN' and 'KILL'. You have the O-Power Tesla Gauntlets!

Now, for the final part. Step three: Holographic Projector with the Tesla Gauntlets. You put the Tesla Gauntlets card into the Designex and take it's new card to the Lathe. You add it and the Holographic Projector into the two slots, insert the Dowel, make the Totem, and take it to the Alchemiter. Putting the new Totem onto the pedestal, it shows that you have… exactly enough for it. Literally, down to the exact number of the exact types of Grist you currently have. This may throw you back a very high amount, but for something this powerful? Worth it. You press the button and wait, having the laser making it go actually a little bit slower than before. Good things take time.

When it's done you are given the exact same looking Gauntlets, except they now have a new button on them, this time with a symbol of the gloves on it. You slip them on and stretch them, trying to get a proper feel for them. They're actually fairly well fitting. You now have the ProjectO-Power Gauntlets! Now, time to test them out proper.

== Cavdit: Test them out

You turn away from the Alchemy items and walk out the front door, avoiding your traps, and trying to find the biggest enemy you could. Almost as planned, you look over a hill to find and Giclops walking towards you. Dark Blue, hockey mask, shells on its sides. Made up of Mistuo and Jazz's Sprites. Definitely gonna give you some Cobalt and Build Grist. You grin and tap onto the buttons of the Gauntlets, getting the exact surprise you were hoping for. Above you appeared a pair of floating O-Power Gauntlets, exactly twice the size you your arms with the exact same teslas and spikes on them, shooting small shocks of electricity but over the entire thing.

Cavdit: Groo\/y.

Cavdit: Let's do this shit.

You flick on the switch to KILL and start rushing towards the Giclops, coming up towards the hill. At a decently close point, you throw your fist up, the hologram version of your fist making contact to the Ogre's face. Instantly, one of it's huge horns fly off of its head before the thing completely explodes into the regular, giant stain of pure black sludge onto the ground, along with some piles of Cobalt and Build Grist.

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/ that is o/\/e hell of a/\/ upgrade.

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/…

Cavdit: \/\/here the fuck is that bitch that killed /\/\y gree/\/ blood.


	39. Planning Against the Future

== Jazz: Plan with your team

You pull Saylen, Cuz and the princess aside you so this group chat can be all inclusive. This is a situation that deserves maximum attention from everyone. Maximum effort! You should probably send some kind of mass message to everyone to get them to join. Is Email still a thing, because that could be useful for this. Well, a quick look into your Scoutertop Glasses can answer that! You know what? Just sending everyone the same thing in Pester and _then_ going to the chat could work, too. Which is what you do, sending everyone the same message: group chat, now, important shiznit. Perfect message.

== Jazz: Join chat

trainingInformant [TI] has joined the chat

Jazz: you guys better answer!

quadriclopsRapper [QR] has joined the chat

Cavdit: Sup.

Jazz: sup.

Cuz: Sup.

BP: Sup.

Cavdit: \/\/o\/\/, I ha\/e /\/e\/er had so /\/\a/\/y people say sup to /\/\e at o/\/ce.

Cavdit: I feel i ha\/e succeeded at so/\/\ethi/\/g.

Saylen: y(o)ure easy t(o) se[f satisfacti(o)n arent y(o)u?

Cavdit: Bet your /\/\urderi/\/g ass I a/\/\\!

Cavdit: Speaki/\/g of \/\/hich, I'/\/\ goi/\/g to fucki/\/g /\/\urder you.

Saylen: what!?

Saylen: cavdit what the he[[?

Jazz: dude!

Jazz: you cannot just threaten someone like that!

Cavdit: She killed /\/\istuo!

Cavdit: Ho\/\/ ca/\/ you /\/ot _/\/ot_ threate/\/ her!?

Jazz: because that was her bitch future self!

Jazz: she literally just left after telling us-

hospitableSecondary [HS] has joined the chat

Yttrim: Hellos!

Cavdit: Yttrim!

Cavdit: Did/\/'t Sayle/\/ kill /\/\istuo a/\/d I deser\/e to threathe/\/ her?

Yttrim: Wha-?

Yttrim: Well…

Yttrim: Yeah, bu- no- our Saylen.

Yttrim: I- was -ha- Saylen from-

intimidatingPrimary [IP] joined the chat

Ridams: tthe ffutture!

Ridams: or difffferentt ttiimelliine

Ridams: iitts conffusiing butt she iisntt our sayllen

Yttrim: Exac-ly.

reanimatedRenaissance [RR] joined the chat

Vlad: Greetings.

Jazz: Vlad!

Jazz: tell Cavdit he doesn't have to kill our Say because Mistuo was killed by Say's future self!

Vlad: Oh!

Vlad: Yes, please don't.

rodentialAstoundant [RA] joined the chat

Firyut: *#ello!*

Vlad: *Hello!*

Vlad: Now, anyways, do not muRdeR this Saylen.

Cavdit: So.

Cavdit: Let /\/\e try a/\/d u/\/dersta/\/d.

Cavdit: I ca/\/ kill the Sayle/\/ that ca/\/\e fro/\/\ the future.

Cavdit: But /\/ot the o/\/e that is curre/\/tly \/\/ith Jazz/\/\y/\/e?

Yttrim: Yes.

Ridams: yep

Vlad: AffiRmative.

Saylen: im a g(o)(o)d (o)ne

Cavdit: Alright.

Cavdit: Just \/\/a/\/ti/\/g to get e\/erthi/\/g right.

Firyut: *can someone tell me w#ats #appening?*

Jazz: *had to keep Cavdit from accidentally killing the wrong Say.*

Firyut: *o#*

Jazz: *yeah.*

Ridams: moviing on

Ridams: why diid you callll us allll here?

Jazz: oh!

Jazz: right!

Jazz: ok, so, as it turns out, our future Saylen has some plans.

Jazz: specifically, plans to fuck with our session until she can rule the universe we make.

Yttrim: Oh my!

Vlad: Wait, you guys didn't know that?

Yttrim: Wha-?

Vlad: Yeah, I was told that a while ago.

Saylen: by wh(o)!?

Vlad: Jazzmyne.

Vlad: Well, anotheR Jazzmyne.

Vlad: FRom the same timeline as the futuRe Saylen.

Jazz: there's a future me?

Vlad: Yes, but she said that due to timey-wimey Reasons she couldn't talk to anyone asides me.

Vlad: Wait, no…

Vlad: She said she also spoke to ouR Saylen, but only when futuRe Saylen showed up.

Saylen: (o)h yeah

Saylen: that did happen

Saylen: that was s(o) many chapters ag(o) i c(o)mp[ete[y f(o)rg(o)t ab(o)ut it

Jazz: timey-wimey reasons?

Saylen: did she perhaps use the term wibb[y w(o)bb[y bef(o)re that?

Vlad: Um, yes?

Vlad: Not impoRtant.

Vlad: She explained to me that this Saylen was bitten by a VampiRic DeRsite named Jack NoiR.

BP: Jack Noir!

BP: Fuck that guy!

BP: The damn bastard is an agent hired by my mum to kill you players, and he is a giant dick!

Yttrim: Excuse me.

Yttrim: -here's someone -rying -o kill us?

Yttrim: -ha- was hired by royal-y?

BP: Yes.

Vlad: Yes, the futuRe Jazz said heR Saylen was bitten by him afteR I bit him to attempt to kill him.

Vlad: AppRrently, afteR being cRossed two species, the ability to contRol the ones undeR a VampiRe's cuRse is lost.

Vlad: Saylen-the futuRe one-went off on heR own afteR losing heRself, going off about wanting moRe.

Saylen: s(o)unds [ike me

Ridams: very much lliike you

Saylen: shut up

Vlad: So, yes, to avoid that situation on ouR end, I am going to attempt to avoid this Jack as well as I can.

Vlad: Shouldn't be all that haR-

introvertedWordsmith [IWS] joined the chat

Saylen: …

Jazz: …

Yttrim: …

Ridams: …

Cavdit: …

Firyut: ...

Vlad: ...haRd.

Mistuo: Vh, hey.

Mistuo: S-o-...

Mistuo: Things happened.

Yttrim: Mistuo!

Yttrim: Holy fuck, you're alive!

Cavdit: Ok, hol' o/\/ up a sec there Grupka.

Cavdit: /\/\istuo.

Mistuo: Cavdit.

Cavdit: ...I love the /\/e\/\/ getup.

Mistuo: -O-h!

Mistuo: Thanks!

Mistuo: I g-o-t it when I Ascended!

Mistuo: Al-o-ng with these bad b-o-ys.

The Moss-blooded Troll turns to a point where his back is visible in his screen, showing a large pair of dark-green butterfly-like wings.

Mistuo: I can fly, babies!

Ridams: dude

Ridams: badass!

Cavdit: Extre/\/\ely badass!

Firyut: *mistuo!*

Mistuo: -O-h, hell!

Mistuo: *I'm s-o-rry Firyvt!*

Mistuo: *L-o-o-k!*

Mistuo: *It w-o-rked!*

Firyut: *i can see t#at!*

Firyut: *o# my god…*

Firyut: *i killed you!*

Jazz: wait, what now?

Ridams: whatt?

Mistuo: -O-h, yes, y-o-v see.

Mistuo: Firyvt here had t-o- kill me -o-n an -o-bject called a Sacrificial Slab.

Vlad: Oh my.

Cuz: Jesus.

Cuz: Dude, she doesn't look anymore than ten!

Cuz: You made her kill you?

Mistuo: What?

Mistuo: Firyvt isn't ten.

Cuz: She isn't?

Mistuo: She's five and a half.

Cuz: What.

Jazz: they're aliens, their aging system is weird.

Jazz: five there is equivalent to ten here.

Cuz: That still isn't any better!

Mistuo: L-o-o-k, m-o-ving -o-n!

Mistuo: When she did, I heard this strange…

Mistuo: Ticking s-o-vnd f-o-r a minvte bef-o-re walking vp -o-n Skaia.

Mistuo: Like a grandfather cl-o-ck -o-r s-o-mething.

BP: Wait, where are you?

Mistuo: Skaia.

BP: Say hi to my dad for me!

BP: He should be the giant black creature made up of all the Sprites you prototypes destroying the Battlefield.

Mistuo: I see him and I am n-o-t g-o-ing near that thing.

Mistuo: I'm actvally ab-o-vt t-o- make my way via flying t-o- -o-ne -o-f the Lands.

Jazz: don't come over here, the air is poisonous.

Saylen: i w(o)u[dnt trust my [and either

Saylen: my future se[f aka y(o)ur murdered may sti[[ be there.

Firyut: *i wouldnt do mine eit#er*

Firyut: *t#eres a constant t#ing of fog t#ats easy to get lost in*

Yttrim: Ours isn'- -he bes-.

Ridams: iitts lliike ttwo llands iin one

Ridams: acttually kiinda cooll butt where tthey meett iis awkward and a lliittttlle dangerous

Mistuo: And I can't stand my Land dve t-o- there being c-o-nstant c-o-vntry mvsic and v-o-lcan-o-es.

Mistuo: That jvst leaves Cavdit and Vlad.

Vlad: Oh, well, I don't see anything wRong with you visiting.

Vlad: These ConsoRts actually seem to have a mighty inteRest in-

Cavdit: /\/o\/\/ \/\/ait a /\/\i/\/ute there, \/a/\/\py.

Vlad: Vampy?

Cavdit: Let's all take a seco/\/d to thi/\/k about this.

Cavdit: Future Sayle/\/ \/\/a/\/ted /\/\istuo dead, right?

Mistuo: Yes.

Cavdit: So, \/\/here \/\/ould be the last place she looked to fi/\/ish the job?

Saylen: anywhere near y(o)u

Cavdit: Exactly!

Cavdit: /\/\istuo, co/\/\e to /\/\y pla/\/et.

Cavdit: Should look like a big sorta grey ball with four leaf clo\/er looki/\/g po/\/ds.

Cavdit: I'll load up this last seaso/\/ of A/\/\erica/\/ Horror Story.

Mistuo: Well, y-o-v have my attenti-o-n!

Mistuo: I'll fly -o-ver in a minvte.

At this moment, your Cousin pulls you away from the chat to talk in private.

Cuz: Are they gay?

Jazz: maybe?

Jazz: Trolls don't do the sexuality thing.

Cuz: Alright.

You lean back into the chat.

Jazz: ok, so, that's pretty much all I had.

Jazz: anything of note happen to y'all?

Mistuo: Well, I died.

Jazz: lovely.

Jazz: anything not depressing?

Cavdit: I /\/\ade so/\/\e kickass \/\/eapo/\/s!

Cavdit: Badass gau/\/tlets that ca/\/ /\/\ake huge holographic \/ersio/\/s of the/\/\sel\/es.

Cavdit: I o/\/e pu/\/ched a Giclops!

Jazz: awesome.

Jazz: we have a Saitama.

Yttrim: I ge- -ha- reference!

Ridams: shutt up

Yttrim: Sorry.

Ridams: oh we acttualllly diid sometthiing

Ridams: made a ffllyiing broomsttiick

Ridams: we were justt aboutt cruiise our lland

Ridams: tthatt iis iif yttttriim woulld pack some acttuall damn food iinsttead of notthiing butt candy

Yttrim: You know I have an abundance of swee- -ee-h!

Yttrim: And wha- do you mean if _I_ do some-hing?

Yttrim: You're -rying -o make a freaking jacke- wi-h -ha- s-upid Grindark book you love so much.

Yttrim: -ha- your dyslexic ass can'- even read.

Ridams: ii can read iitt and tthe jackett wiillll be awesome!

Jazz: OK!

Jazz: anyone else?

Jazz: please?

Jazz: i don't want to be in the middle of a sibling argument.

Vlad: I found a city undeRgRound.

Vlad: Yeah, that's actually not all that inteResting.

Vlad: NeveR mind.

Jazz: well, that was helpful.

Jazz: ok, i guess meeting over.

Ridams: tthatt was a shiitt meettiing

Saylen: yes it was

Saylen: but it was an imp(o)rtant (o)ne

Ridams: wellll iiff were done

Ridams: ii have a jackett tto make

intimidatingPrimary [IP] has left the chat

Yttrim: I'd bes- go wi-h.

Yttrim: Farewell for now!

hospitableSecondary [HS] has left the chat

Jazz: suppose we should bounce too.

Saylen: yeah

Cuz: Yup.

BP: Probably.

Jazz: alright.

Jazz: you guys stay on your toes and don't trust anyone from the future.

Jazz: unless it's me apparently.

trainingInformant [TI] has left the chat

== Jazz: Figure out what to do

Jazz: ok, so…

Jazz: i believe i may have a quest to do, correct?

BP: Yep.

Cuz: Yes ma'am, I remember your stupid Pokemon Sprite said it was to get something at the center of the Land to stop making the Land acidic.

Cuz: Or something like that.

Jazz: uh, yeah, i think that was it.

Jazz: so… Princess?

BP: I am not allowed to interfere with the actions of the Players unless it is on Skaia, Derse or Prospit.

Jazz: darn.

Jazz: Say?

Saylen: d(o)nt [(o)(o)k at me

Saylen: i ditched my [and when i started trying t(o) ki[[ myse[f

Saylen: i d(o)n't quest pr(o)per[y d(o) i?

Cuz: As an avid player of Bethesda games, I can tell you you don't.

BP: Bethesda games?

Cuz: Video games.

Cuz: Basically, open world with a shit ton of quests and stuff.

BP: Interested.

Cuz: And hella fucking lot weapons and creatures to murder.

BP: Ok then.

BP: You, take me to your home, show me these games.

BP: You two-

She points to you and Saylen.

BP: Play this game and create a universe.

BP: Don't get killed by another version of you.

BP: Alright Cuz, let's roll out.

Cuz: She's a Princess, Jazz.

Cuz: Can't just say no.

Before you could properly say anything the two climb into the El Camino as start off towards your house. You just stare down the dust cloud threw up from the drive and groan, turning to the far taller Troll.

Jazz: so…

Saylen: s(o)...

Jazz: there's obviously some tension here.

Saylen: yeah

Jazz: wanna just say we're g(o)ing (o)ut f(o)r the time being?

Jazz: until we see what's going with us and all that shit?

Saylen: (o)h thank g(o)d y(o)u said it

Saylen: yes p[ease

Jazz: yay!

== Jazz: Hug the Troll

You jump and wrap your arms around the Plum-blood, accidentally knocking her down. Appears it was a tackle hug. There, we have officially hit everything from the actual story, no more references for a while.

* * *

 _A/N: Happy 4/13 everyone!_


	40. Attempting to Quest

== Jazz and Saylen: Attempt to Quest

After you hug the Troll and pick yourself up from the tackle hug, you consider on what to do now. According to some of the Consorts and your Sprite from prior, your Personal Quest is one that is fairly easy to do. Convince your Denizen to stop producing the acid that makes the Land as it is. As it turns out, prior to several decades ago, the Land used to be called the Land of Assumption and Lividities. Which makes sense, considering most of these stupid tigers are kinda douchebags. Before the Game created your Denizen, this was actually an extremely lush planet, but as soon as Frezetus took control in some stupid Denizen cave she started pumping an acidic sweat into the waters. Go to the center of LoAaL and start a venting system to drain the acid and gas. Lovely. Now where to start is the question.

Jazz: yo, Say?

Saylen: y(o) jazzy?

Jazz: i need to do this Quest.

Jazz: but i don't know what to do.

Saylen: we[[ what are y(o)u supp(o)sed t(o) d(o)?

Jazz: i gots to find this weird vent system in the center of the Land.

Saylen: (o)k

Jazz: i have to activate it, which i don't know how to do.

Saylen: (o)k

Jazz: then i have to convince my Land's Denizen, Frezetus, to stop making the acid and poison and shiznit.

Saylen: (o)k

Jazz: and then i think i can die and Ascend like Mistuo

Saylen: n(o)-k

Saylen: i w(o)u[d rather that [ast part n(o)t happen

Jazz: you think i do?

Jazz: i'm freaking scared of dying!

Jazz: but think of the upsides to that.

Saylen: y(o)u get wings

Jazz: exactly!

Jazz: enough for me to sacrifice myself at the end of this journey.

Jazz: not to mention that, from what i've gathered, i can only Ascend when i finish my Quest

Saylen: wait what?

Saylen: but mistu(o) ascended n(o)t t(o)(o) [(o)ng after we entered

Saylen: and he is way t(o)(o) s[(o)w at vide(o) games t(o) finish that quick

Jazz: huh, good point.

Jazz: maybe i can just off myself when i find the thing?

Saylen: the thing?

Jazz: apparently there's a special Quest Bed i have to die on for my Ascension.

Saylen: ah g(o)tcha

Jazz: so…

Jazz: to Questing!

Saylen: questing!

== Jazz and Saylen: Quest

With truly no idea where to even begin, you decide to do what every RPG player does; pick a direction and talk to every single NPC you stumble upon. An ingenious strategy in all honesty, definitely one I would go with. And considering the mass amount of NPCs you do end up talking to, I am going to take this time to skip… two and a half pages in the script and fill in the blanks as we go. Good? Good.

After a good hour of aimlessly wandering and talking, you feel as though you are right where you started, with most of the Consorts not giving any specific advice and constantly being rude to you. Although, one conversation did allude to the existence of a historian that lives on a far away portion of the Land. Which is actually a lucky break considering the tiger that told you this said he set himself under a strange floating spirograph in the sky. Sounds like a Gate to you! And where is there a Gate you know of? Right above your house, and Vlad should have been building the entire time!

You tell Saylen of you discovery and decide on returning to your house. Although, one small situation with that. You got far too lost to find it properly, even with a map. Although, that may be because you can't read maps. You feel as though you have a problem. As the very handsome and famous Arin Hanson once said: ' _Well this is a fine pickle!_ ' Wait, or was that Dan? Dammit. Anyways, you recall from that random Game Grumps reference that some video games have a form of compass that can point you to the location you need to be the most, so maybe…

== Jazz: Check the game tabs

You open up your Scoutertop and go to the game, using Cavdit's program to look at your own screen from Vlad's perspective. You see that your house now has a freaking stairway to heaven in the way of a giant pillar straight up with a spiral staircase around it. Very simple, and probably Grist efficient! Inside your house, you see you Dewottsprite floating next to the couch watching Cuz and the Black Princess playing Fallout 4. They seem to have been using the Alchemiter because they are absolutely surrounded by chips, soda and enough joints to kill Willie Nelson. Dang, they are getting toked, even the Sprite.

You look to the side of the screen and read all the tabs, not particularly finding anything that seems like a compass or map. You almost curse yourself before eyeing one tab near the bottom with a star on it. Not like a normal, five sided star, but one of those four sided over four sided stars like from Undertale. Interested, you click on it. You look back to the screen to see the exact same star in your living room, not getting much of a reaction from anyone there. You turn off the actual computer part of your scouter and look around, actually seeing the star floating in the air just above the horizon line. You made a waypoint! That's cool.

Jazz: oi, Say.

Jazz: i made a waypoint!

Saylen: c(o)(o)[

Jazz: you sound unenthusiastic about that.

Saylen: i d(o)nt kn(o)w what a wayp(o)int is

Jazz: oh my lord.

Jazz: it gives me a spot that i can find as long as i follow a little directory thing.

Jazz: like right now, i made one in my living room and it shows as a star right over the horizon.

Saylen: i d(o)nt see it

Jazz: i think it may be a player specific thing.

Saylen: huh

Saylen: then i w(o)u[d [ike t(o) add s(o)me enthusiasm t(o) my previ(o)us statement

Saylen: c(o)(o)[!

Jazz: there it is.

Jazz: the invisible yet easy to know it's there exclamation point.

Jazz: alright, let's go.

You turn in the direction of the waypoint and start walking, going into very uncharted territory of you two. You actually went all around this place, nearly a perfect arch from town to town. Nobody really mentioned stuff over here, so that is a little bit unsettling that you're walking straight through it. Definitely safe! I say, using as much sarcasm possible a narrator can.

While following the waypoint you find the area ignored by everyone to be a large dim in the landscape. Similar to a big bowl, you two walk down a slowly flattening slope. Once you get down to the straight flat bottom of the land bowl, you're a good ninty to a hundred feet below before you notice things starting to actually liven up. For the first time you've been on LoAaL, you see completely alive trees and nonacidic ponds! Even a few bugs. Mostly dragonflies but still. Actually, it's only dragonflies. Must be the only thing that can survive here besides the Consorts.

Jazz: hey, uh, Say?

Saylen: thats my name

Jazz: ha ha.

Jazz: look around here, there's living things!

Saylen: huh

Saylen: neat!

Saylen: i th(o)ught everything here was acidic?

Saylen: n(o) [ife and a[[ that?

Jazz: must be an oasis of sorts.

Jazz: although it doesn't make sense it being here.

Saylen: because its s(o) far d(o)wn?

Jazz: yeah.

Jazz: usually this is where most of the stuff would be, since it's a bowl and everything flows downward.

Jazz: strange.

Saylen: hey at [east we kn(o)w there's [iving things here besides th(o)se prick c(o)ns(o)rts

Jazz: and the Imps, Ogres, Basilisks, Gliclops, Bishops and everything else we haven't came across that wants to murder us.

Saylen: bright side (o)f [ife jazzy

Saylen: bright side (o)f [ife

Jazz: heh.

Jazz: always look on the bright side of life!

For some reason, Saylen begins whistling in a very familar tune.

Jazz: always look on the right side of life!

Saylen: *whist[es*

Jazz: if life seems jolly rotten,

Jazz: there's something you've forgotten,

Jazz: and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing!

Saylen: when y(o)ure fee[ing in the dumps

Saylen: d(o)nt be si[[y chumps

Saylen: just purse y(o)ur [ips and whist[e - thats the thing - and…

Saylen and Jazz: a[ways [(o)(o)k (o)n the bright side (o)f [ife!

Saylen and Jazz: *whist[es*

Saylen and Jazz: a[ways [(o)(o)k (o)n the bright side (o)f [ife!

Jazz: i didn't know you knew Monty Python!

Jazz: why does an alien know Monty Python?

Saylen: because that dipshit v[ad sent me every m(o)vie!

Saylen: f(o)r an assh(o)[e he d(o)es have g(o)(o)d m(o)vie taste

Jazz: ok, so, that actually brings up something i wanted to ask.

Jazz: why do you hate Vlad?

Saylen: (o)h b(o)y here we g(o)

Saylen: hes fu[[ (o)f himse[f (o)k?

Saylen: thats a[s(o) why i d(o)nt [ike cav-dick (o)r ridams

Saylen: fu[[ (o)f themse[ves assh(o)[es

Jazz: what?

Jazz: Vlad isn't like that!

Jazz: i mean, yeah, he can act a bit cocky sometimes, but he's not Ridams bad!

Saylen: rea[[y?

Saylen: s(o) its just a c(o)incidence that he is a[wyas acting every time me and him ta[k?

Jazz: well.

Jazz: yes, actually.

Jazz: once he found you hated it, he started adding onto the fire.

Saylen: what

Jazz: yeah, he's fuckin' with you.

Saylen: (o)h

Saylen: my g(o)d

Saylen: that is…

Jazz: that is… what?

Saylen: fucking hi[ari(o)us

Saylen: s(o) he isnt actua[[y a prick?

Jazz: nope!

Jazz: he's really super nice.

Saylen: huh

Saylen: as s(o)(o)n as he starts acting n(o)rma[ ar(o)und me i may n(o)t hate him as much

Jazz: i'll pass it on next time we talk.

Saylen: thank y(o)u

Saylen: n(o)w where were we?

You two then begin and finish singing Monty Python's _Always look on the Bright Side of Life_ , and then at least three other songs as you get to, what appears to be, the center of the bowl. You look around and actually see patches of grass, full trees, dragonflies, what looks like a freshwater pond and one small shed looking building a bit towards the pond. Well, there's nothing else around here and this is technically an RPG. It would be a crime not to ignore the main mission and check an unmarked landmark!

== Jazz and Saylen: Examine the shack

You walk over with your Trollfriend until you're both up to the door, finding it very well intact despite being in the midst of god's ass nowhere. After a small couple rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock (ten points to anyone that knows that) it ends with Saylen having to go first. She walked up to the door and waits a moment before knocking and stepping back. It takes a few seconds before the door slowly creaked open, showing a small crack of the dark insides of the building.

Saylen: we[[

Saylen: thats (o)minu(o)s

Saylen: sha[[ we?

Jazz: we shall

== Jazz and Saylen: Shall

Terrible command entry. Or hilarious. Anyways, you two push in the door and walk in, Saylen tapping her eyepatch and making the screen come up. Although there is a heavy plum-colored tint to the light, you are able to make out the insides of the shed. It's actually very empty, aside a chair, shelf and broken TV. That, however, is not the most interesting thing of the room. What is is the fact that Saylen's light shows a small portion of what must be some form of wall art. The kind that only shows with specific light.

== Jazz: Examine the wall art

Jazz: yo, Say?

Jazz: start over here, and move along when i say.

Saylen: g(o)tcha g(o)tcha

Saylen stands and shines her eyepatch light onto the right side of the door, showing the beginning of the images. The pictures all seem to be scribbled on very horribly and rushed looking, almost like whoever was doing them was doing it in a hurry. It begins with what looks like a black book and a green and red swirl lollipop. The next is another book, but this time being swirled red, green and black with what looks a little bit like Saylen's sign in the center. Then, a planet, split down the center with one side being black with bright colors and the other being a straight grey. You are starting to be unsure of your feelings for this.

Switching walls shows a figure… no, two figures! Each connecting at the middle with three legs and blue circles on their chests and… horns. Each a pair of long, yellow horns with two inwards indentions. Well, that's obviously the Grupka twins. Next shows a being donned entirely of red descending the book to the two, with the bright red gear that symbolizes Time behind it. Starting to feel worse about it.

Now to the wall opposite the door which only had one, giant picture, which was also the most detailed. It was of the twins, but they were warped and discolored horribly. Ridams, on the left, was a much darker shade of gray, as were all of his clothes. His sign was white, and he had these black tendrils coming off of him. Yttrim on the other hand was the complete opposite of him. Her skin had changed to that of a very bright blue, as did her hair, eyes and clothes. Her horns, instead of starting red to yellow, started with a dark blue and slowly lightened up until white at the tip, and there was a candy cane hanging on one horn. There was writing on this wall, but in a very strange looking language. Almost alien in nature.

Jazz: hey, Say?

Jazz: this looks like alien writing, can you read it?

Saylen: huh…

Saylen: i cant rea[[y

Saylen: i d(o) kn(o)w its ancient a[ternian

Jazz: know anyone that can read it?

Saylen: i dunn(o)

Saylen: maybe mistu(o)?

Saylen: i[[ take a pic and send it t(o) him

The Plum-blood snaps a picture with her eyepatch and sends it over to the Bard and waits. After a few minutes, Mistuo replies back with these simple words: 'The Grim Trick'.

== Be Future!Saylen

You switch back to the time traveler standing in LoFaF's Land teleportation center, looking over and kicking the vines off of each pad.

Future!Saylen: s(o) these things are sti[[ w(o)king huh?

Future!Saylen: perfect!

Future!Saylen: n(o)w [ets see here

You begin walking along the pads.

Future!Saylen: maid?

Future!Saylen: n(o)

Future!Saylen: bard?

Future!Saylen: a[ready been there

Future!Saylen: witch?

Future!Saylen: jacks taking care (o)f her

Future!Saylen: aha!

Future!Saylen: r(o)gue and knight

Future!Saylen: [ets h(o)pe that dumbass [eft his stupid grimdark b(o)(o)k

You open your Modus and take out the Trickster Pop, twirling it around your fingers as you step on the pad and get instantly transported to the Half Lands of Neon and Trains and Stress and Fungi. You never thought you'd end up a librarian in your lifetime.


	41. Bard Breakdown

== Be Mistuo

You really are surprised at a multitude of things happening at the moment, the primary of those being that fact you can fly just as good as you do every other voluntary movements. Well, it's either that or the fact that flying works in space. With no wind or other gases to cause any resistance to end in liftoff, the entire idea of this happening is beyond immeasurable. Then again, you died twice today in the span of an hour, so who are you to question what's happening? You flew off the surface of Skaia and into the strange deadlands of it's orbiting planets, all of which… don't seem to be orbiting, but more staying completely stationary. Most laws of physics don't appear to apply in SBURB.

You do a fly around the pseudo-galaxy's star until finding the Land Cavdit said to go to; gray with bright green clover shaped spots. Well, fly around is a loose term, it was actually the first Land you looked at. Lucky you! Now to see if flying through their atmosphere will cause you to burn to a crisp! That'll make the body count three, and all three of those would be you! Somebody start some kind of Mistuo death counter.

== Mistuo: Go to the Land of Luck and Frogs

You start down towards the Land and find yourself getting into the atmosphere fairly easy, with no fire or any other ill side effects no speak of. And, as if your luck wasn't already good already, all you had to do was look down to see the Frog Temple that Cavdit uses as a hive almost directly under you! Well, under a little to the left as the highest point was almost at your feet. The hell is building his place up so high, it's already pass the first Gate! At least he'll progress quickly when he starts the climb.

You basically do a full blown dive bomb to the base of the building and turn right side up, doing a-as the amazing Wade Wilson would call-hero landing. And _wow_ , he was right, that is bad for the knees. And the legs. Basically the entire lower half of your body was in stinging pain from the landing, making you fall on your ass and just sit there for a minute. Then two. Then a full five minutes before realizing you stopped hurting as soon as you sat down and just needed a little bit to do something you've never actually done before. Reflect on your life.

Quiet, predictable, pacifistic Mistuo Fitera, the guy with fox-ear shaped horns and a fishing pole that can't even keep himself fed enough to do anything other than watch horror movies and try to keep his Lusus alive. One of those you failed at horribly, turning the Hexaped Fox Lusus into part rampaging murderer and doing everything she told you not to do in life. You done fucked up, Mistuo. You done fucked up. You're even fucking up right now, coming to the Land of the asshole that made your Moirail deaf all because he said shit about watch AHS, while you could be with said Moirail and help protect her! That was it. That was the moment that you completely let go, letting time just consume you as life moved on around you. When Cavdt Plides fucked up your Moirail's life was the thing that sent you into whatever your excuse for a life is. You have to hit that little shit whenever he shows up. Speaking of which, you only now just realize the Troll that has been shaking your shoulder for a straight minute. Well, now or never you suppose.

== Mistuo: Hit that little shit

As you prepare your mini assault, you feel light breeze flow into the area before acting. In one swift motion you stand up, spin around, and completely clock Cavdit in the nose, literally sending him flying back into a wall. With the majority of your willpower thrown out the window you walk slowly up to Cavdit, the breeze turning into a solid wind, flowing your streamer like cape dramatically. When you come up to the Sapphire-blood you grab his shirt and pull him close until you two are touching foreheads and staring eye-to-eye… to-eye.

Mistuo: Y-o-v…

Mistuo: Y-o-v fvcking assh-o-le!

Mistuo: What the fvck made y-o-v d-o- it!?

Cavdit: The shit, /\/\istuo!

Cavdit: \/\/hat did I do!?

Mistuo: She's -o-nly five g-o-ddamn Sweeps -o-ld bvt y-o-v fvcked her f-o-r life!

Mistuo: What vse w-o-vld she be if this game didn't happen, hvh!

Cavdit: /\/\istuo, cal/\/\ do\/\/\/!

Mistuo: She w-o-vld've been cvlled as s-o-o-n as she came -o-f fvcking age!

Mistuo: Y-o-v claim t-o- want t-o- be her Kismesis, s-o-mething that will never happen, bvt y-o-v jvst let her stay like she was!

Mistuo: Y-o-v fvcking killed her -o-n Alternia!

Mistuo: H-o-w d-o- I kn-o-w y-o-v w-o-n't d-o-the same here!

Cavdit: /\/\ISTUO!

You don't know why, but Cavdit yelling snapped you out of this complete loss of control. As well as realize you were both yelling. The wind had gotten so hard it was impossible to hear anything other than it and shouting as loud as you can. The second you became aware, it started to die down just as suddenly as it showed up, coming to a complete stop when you let go of Cavdit. With shaky hands and rapidly depleting vision, you fell to your knees and just let it all out, tears running down your face for the third time that day, but not out of pain or sadness or fear. It was out of anger. A type of tears that have never escaped your eyes in your life. The weirdest part of it? You weren't angry at Cavdit. You were angry at yourself. You have never, never snapped at anyone like that, even when the future Saylen was killing you, you didn't go off. This feeling was unmarked territory that you aren't prepared for in any form of the word.

You stay there for a second before Cavdit taps you on the shoulder. Looking up you can see that he has a very heavy look of concern on his face, the want to help being clear in all four of his eyes and shown by him offering his hand. After you wipe your eyes dry you take his hand and stand up, not even asking or hesitating before going into a hug. You find that wiping your eyes before was completely pointless, as the embrace threw you over the edge again, crying into the smaller Troll's shoulder as he pats your back.

* * *

 _A/N: Apologies for the short chapter as well as the long wait in between them. I finally got my lazy ass a job, so everything I work on is going to be fairly slowed down. Sorry 'bout that!_


	42. Secret Confessions

Mistuo: Feel like shit

Goddamn is it easy to do that. After beating the shit out of Cavdit and crying because you did that, all you can do in his hive is sit down and sniffle while you watch AHS. This does not make you a bitch. You sniff and lean against Cavdit's couch, still trying to explain what happened.

Mistuo: A-and my brain, it jvst shvt d-o-wn and...

Mistuo: I'm s-o-rry!

Mistuo: I jvst blew vp!

Cavdit: I get it, /\/\a/\/.

Cavdit: I get it.

Cavdit: I'\/e let /\/\y a/\/ger build to those le\/els before.

Mistuo: Yeah, I kn-o-w y-o-v have.

Mistuo: Bvt it's jvst…

Mistuo: It was s-o- svdden.

Mistuo: I didn't have that anger bef-o-re, bvt then it jvst hit.

Mistuo: What was that?

Cavdit: If I \/\/as a betti/\/g Troll, I'd say it has so/\/\ethi/\/g to do \/\/ith your Asce/\/sio/\/.

Cavdit: You said you're called a Bard of Breath, correct?

Mistuo: Vh, yes, why?

Cavdit: /\/\ostly it's because \/\/hile you \/\/ere tur/\/i/\/g t\/\/o of /\/\y eyes into gia/\/t blue, pai/\/ filled bruises, the \/\/i/\/d picked up.

Cavdit: \/\/ell, /\/\ore like tur/\/ed the area i/\/to a tor/\/ado.

Mistuo: Yes, I did d-o- that.

Mistuo: Where is this g-o-ing?

Cavdit: \/\/ell, Breath ca/\/ also be tra/\/slated to air or \/\/i/\/d.

Cavdit: Ter/\/\i/\/ology that ca/\/ also be co/\/sidered synonymous \/\/ith free \/\/ill.

Mistuo: Like the saying 'free as the wind'?

Cavdit: Exactly.

Cavdit: I ha\/e a/\/ idea, but it is \/ery stupid.

Cavdit: I thi/\/k these \/\/i/\/dy po\/\/ers is based upo/\/ your state of co/\/trol.

Mistuo: S-o- when I let my anger bvild like that, it cavsed my 'Breath' t-o- -o-vertake me?

Cavdit: Yes!

Mistuo: …

Mistuo: Y-o-v have svch intelligence and yet y-o-v wish t-o- be a rapper.

Cavdit: Heh, yeah.

Cavdit: Yeah…

Cavdit: …

Cavdit: I really do/\/'t \/\/a/\/t to, if I'/\/\ bei/\/g ho/\/est.

Cavdit: It's like…

Cavdit: It /\/\akes /\/\e feel like I'/\/\ shooti/\/g for so/\/ethi/\/g cool i/\/ /\/\y future.

Cavdit: So/\/\ethi/\/g people \/\/ould like /\/\e for doi/\/g.

Mistuo: What?

Cavdit: I k/\/o\/\, it's stupid, but I thought it could /\/\ake /\/\e see/\/\ likable.

Mistuo: Likable?

Cavdit: I'/\/\ /\/ot stupid, Scarfy, I k/\/o\/\/ you guys hate /\/\e.

Cavdit: You all ha\/e for a lo/\/g ti/\/\e, e\/er si/\/ce the i/\/cide/\/t \/\/ith Firyut.

Mistuo: -O-h.

Mistuo: Yes, that was…

Cavdit: A tur/\/i/\/g poi/\/t i/\/ the hatred of /\/\e?

Mistuo: Indeed.

Cavdit: I just thought that I could actually /\/\o\/e o/\/ to a poi/\/t \/\/here e\/eryo/\/e could like /\/\e.

Cavdit: But /\/o\/\/?

Mistuo: Y-o-v're stvck in a game with a gr-o-vp -o-f pe-o-ple that d-o-n't particularly care f-o-r and me.

Cavdit: A/\/d y-o-v?

Mistuo: I think y-o-v're pretty alright.

Mistuo: Nice talking t-o-.

Cavdit: Heh.

Cavdit: Pretty cool to talk to yourself, /\/\istuo.

Cavdit: If it \/\/as/\/'t for you a/\/d Firyut, I'd say you could be a cool /\/\oirail.

Mistuo: -O-h, dammit!

Mistuo: Firyvt!

Mistuo: She's still al-o-ne -o-n her Land!

Mistuo: I sh-o-vld've g-o-ne there instead -o-f here!

Mistuo: N-o-t t-o- be rvde, bvt she really d-o-es reqvire help.

Cavdit: Because she's deaf and her La/\/d is co\/eres i/\/ a/\/ i/\/creadibly de/\/se fog.

Mistuo: Mist.

Mistuo: Her Land is called the Land -o-f Mist and Hallvcinati-o-ns.

Mistuo: Alth-o-vgh, seeing as she is deaf and that hallvcinati-o-ns are primarily n-o-ise based…

Cavdit: That gi\/es you a possible t\/\/e/\/ty /\/\i/\/utes to relax a/\/d fi/\/ish this episo-

The Sapphire-blood is cut off by a sudden shaking of the ground, signaling the arrival of a certain type of Underling. The Ogre. Although, it was a tiny bit harder shaking. Must be a big one!

Cavdit: Ok, or, cou/\/ter offer, kill that bitch with /\/\e!

Mistuo and Cavdit: Kill that bitch

You equip your fishing pole as Cavdit equips a pair of… really weird looking gloves and start out the door. You both look around a little before Cavdit points to the… not Ogre? It was bigger than an Ogre and only had a single eye with two horns on its head. It appears to have the characteristics of yours, Cavdit's and Firyut's Sprites, having a mostly bear-like appearance with a hockey mask, a large mouse tail, a cape and a giant machete, and the whole creature was colored Sapphire blue. Definitely looked like a new challenge.

Cavdit: Hey, Scarfy?

Mistuo: Yeah?

Cavdit: Thi/\/k \/\/e ca/\/ take this thi/\/g?

Mistuo: I'd be disapp-o-inted if we c-o-vldn't.

Cavdit: That's \/\/hat I like to hear.

Cavdit: Prefer for /\/\e to start or \/\/ould you like the first hit?

Mistuo: Y-o-vr planet, I w-o-vldn't want t-o- be rvde.

Cavdit: Alright, ha\/e it your \/\/ay.

Cavdit: Clock the creature

The quadriclops presses a button on his gloves and cause them to produce giant hologram versions of themselves, giving Cavdit perfect reach to deliver a massive punch onto the beast's face. It stumbles back before catching itself, throwing it's free hand into a fist at one of the floating hands, getting caught and held. It drops machete and tries to punch again, getting caught again and stuck in a form of stand off.

Mistuo: Attack

You take this time to give your pole a hard wind up before throwing the line out in a circular motion. You're not quite sure how, but by simply focusing you are able to make the hook and line surround the legs of the beast. Then again. And even a third time before it finally finishes circling and hooks itself. You give a firm pull back and cause the creature to trip, collapsing directly at the feet of your Sapphire friend.

Cavdit turns off the holograms as he takes his gloves and form fists, giving two giant punches to the thing's temples. He grins as the spikes stabs into the brain and gives two colossal blasts of dark blue electricity through its body, causing it to explode in the black goo and drop a shit fuck ton of Grist. Some different type of Grist called Sapphire. Neat. That means you have access to greater Alchemy!

Mistuo: Hey, Cavdit, g-ot a new type -o-f Grist.

Cavdit: Ah, bitchi/\/'!

Cavdit: \/\/a/\/\/a see \/\/hat \/\/e ca/\/ alche/\/\ize up?

Mistuo: I w-o-vld like that, alth-o-vgh I may have t-o- leave afterwards.

Mistuo: Have t-o- make svre Firyvt is alright.

Cavdit: Da/\/\g /\/\a/\, you baby her too /\/\uch.

Mistuo: Well, she's my M-o-irail.

Cavdit: And fully able to take care of herself.

Mistuo: And h-o-w d-o- y-o-v kn-o-w that?

Cavdit: Because I'/\/\ /\/ot a/\/ idiot.

Mistuo: I feel that is a tad rvde in c-o-ntext, bvt please c-o-ntinve.

Cavdit: The girl beat /\/\e the fuck up after the accide/\/t.

Cavdit: That \/\/as o\/er a S\/\/eep a/\/d a half ago.

Cavdit: Thi/\/k of ho\/\/ badass she is /\/o\/\/.

Mistuo: Wait, what?

Cavdit: /\/\h/\/\\.

Cavdit: She did to /\/\e \/\/hat you did a fe\/\/ /\/\i/\/utes ago.

Mistuo: -O-h l-o-rd.

Mistuo: She never t-o-ld me this.

Cavdit: That's because I begged her /\/ot to.

Cavdit: I do/\/'t k/\/o\/\/ \/\/hy, but she took pity o/\/ /\/\e.

Cavdit: She's a good egg, /\/\istuo.

Cavdit: O/\/e that ca/\/ take care of herself a/\/d a/\/yo/\/e she \/\/a/\/ts to protect.

Cavdit: So…

Cavdit: E\/eryo/\/e except /\/\e.

Mistuo: Hmm…

Mistuo: My grey ass she w-o-n't help y-o-v.

Cavdit: \/\/ait, \/\/hat?

Cavdit: \/\/hat.

Mistuo: L-o-o-k, I can feel y-o-v are a g-o-o-d pers-o-n at heart, bvt y-o-v are h-o-rribly misgvided.

Mistuo: I refvse t-o- let Firyvt take back her pity if a sitvati-o-m ever emerges dve t-o- hist-o-ry.

Mistuo: If y-o-v w-o-vld let me, I w-o-vld like t-o- gvide y-o-v in a m-o-re nice and pr-o-per directi-o-n.

Cavdit: Huh.

Cavdit: I…

Cavdit: \/\/ould really like for you to do that.

Cavdit: I /\/\ay stay /\/\y usual \/\/ay for a \/\/hile to kept appeara/\/ce's up i/\/ fro/\/t of e\/erybody else for a \/\/hile though.

Mistuo: I can vnderstand that.

Mistuo: N-o-t svre if every-o-ne will accept y-o-v changing like n-o-thing as real.

Cavdit: Yeah.

Cavdit: /\/\akes se/\/se.

Mistuo: Mhmm.

Mistuo: S-o-, y-o-v really think Firyvt will be -o-kay?

Cavdit: Oh, defi/\/itely.

Mistuo: G-o-o-d, g-o-o-d.

Mistuo: I want her t-o- be.

Mistuo: Hey, Cavdit?

Cavdit: Yeah?

Mistuo: This feelings stvff is making me vnc-o-mf-o-rtable.

Cavdit: Oh tha/\/k god, /\/\e too.

Mistuo: Wanna st-o-p and d-o- s-o-me Alchemy?

Cavdit: Hell yeah.

Mistuo: -O-kay, let's d-o- that.

Mistuo and Cavdit: D-o- s-o-me Alchemy

You both re-enter the hive and go to Cavdit's Punch Designix to find some interesting things to mix together. You punch your Scarftop, Nightmare Pole and, in an attempt to try something, your God Tier hood. Cavdit already has a series of punched cards that you can use, as well as a junk room to experiment with. You go in and look through his junk, grabbing a few electronics just because. You punch his fancy lava lamp in attempts to upgrade your pole. If it works, awesome. If it doesn't, that's why we always keep the original card.

You then proceed to make a fuckton of combinations of yours and Cavdit's cards, getting five totems in total. All of which get mass Alchemized in small Alchemizing spree, sadly not one good enough to warrant a title card. Through this endeavor you only seem to lose maybe a tenth of your very vast amount of Grist, so nothing major except the super expensive and rarer stuff. Hope the others don't mind that since you're all sharing.

You combine your scarf and the hologram machine to make a Scarftop Projector. It now makes a large, full body hologram of anybody you're talking to on the other side. Your fishing pole and lava lamp to make the Flaming Nightmare. If your idea of how this works is correct, you will burn enemies when you hook or line them. Then, using the only Sapphires you have, you pull a Cavdit and combine your already super upgraded weapon with one of the batteries Cavdit has to make The Electro-Flame Night Terror. You have no idea why the game gave the fishing pole that name, but it works. And it is awesome.


	43. Down Memory Lane

Be Future Saylen

Time to take a look at the maleficent actions of the time traveling seadweller in a second person perspective. Weird how nobody really calls put Homestuck for being purely second person point of view, but who are we to complain? We're still ready it and it's fan stuff two years later. Anyways, story.

You stand in the respiteblock of your old hive, looking through your stuff as you wait for the Tardis Modus to drop the specific thing that you need. You really hate when the stupid Modus makes you wait for important things, you have places to be and backs to stab. While you wait, you go out to the window to look around as best you can, being able to see nothing but the endless ocean of trees and the one colossal tree tower in the direction of that one town. You're really happy your past self didn't realize what was on top of the tree, or else she would've found her Bed a little bit too early for your liking.

You have to keep as many people as you can from getting to those Quest Beds as you can. You also have to kill them before they get close to even knowing what their Quests are. You don't quite remember why, but you just know you have to. You do however remember it happening back in your timeline. Maybe if you try to remember properly. You are a Time Player after all.

You go into the center of your respiteblock and sit down cross legged, closing your eyes and focusing. After a good few seconds of clearing your mind you could feel the usual essence of Time escape the cricks of your eyepatch, creating a large hoop around the room of pure red mist, soon turning into two solid lines with Roman numerals 1-12 in between them. You smirk before opening your eye, standing and looking along the time loop trying to find any memories you maybe forgotten but alternate versions of you remember. Lucky thing time copies have easily accessible minds for a God Tiered Time Player. You look, finding many views you can't recall and others you recall perfectly until… Aha! There it is. The second you started being much more antagonistic and much less likable.

Future Saylen: Be Past Future Saylen

After accessing the memory you are set into the far too familiar Land of Diamonds and Silence, looking about as empty as usual aside the highly built up mansion house of Vlad. The place you were turned. You look down at the base of the house to see fight going on between the old future version of you and what is at this point an empty, undead husk of Count Jackula. You were never too sure how Vlad turned the Dersite, but he did and made the villain even stronger. Vlad was, and is, a dumb fuck.

You even recall perfectly why you were here. Doing a stupid item fetch for Vlad, trying to get some coffin to combine with something else that you didn't understand completely. Supposed to make a major change in the turn of the Skaian war, but you never paid attention to that. You just wanted the game to be over so you can have a normal life in a universe of all of yours creation. Well, the old you wanted that. You've grown to a point where you want your own universe, where everybody has to bow before the Rainbow Drinker Queen.

You watched in for a moment before the you get the Dersite onto his knee with a properly placed shot to the leg. You watch as your past self steps up to Jack, aiming her gun to his head and doing the most idiotic thing ever and goes into a small monologue. This is where you screwed up big time. Jack attempts to throw himself at your past self, causing you to shoot sooner than you had intended, of course killing the Dersite but causing large amounts of blood splashback to go directly into all of your facial orifices. He was dead, but at the price of you becoming undead. Earth Vampirism is transmitted through the blood, and when that disease is transmuted to another species it has a nearly impossible chance of mixing and infecting. Jack was lucky, gaining almost all the powers except for the one downside of being vulnerable to sunlight.

Apparently, the unholy hybrid of Vampirism does not enjoy being hybridized with a third species, especially one where a form of Rainbow Drinker is dormant. The twice mixed disease coming into contact with a Troll ended horribly, with the strength of both Vampire and Rainbow Drinker, speed of both, resilience to borderline everything possible, and making you a sparkly mess like the Earth Twilight Vampires. One huge thing that altered you into what you are now, though, is how it hyperized the Alternian natural hostility and Sea Dweller royal bloodline and desire for control. In short, layman's terms, you became a power hungry, time traveling Vampire that technically can't die unless you die heroically which is hard considering you're going to aggressively try and kill everyone not necessary to your mission. You feel wonderful about it.

But, this is not exactly why you came to this specific memory. You came to locate the coffin you could not find on this first trek. Vlad said something about it was going to help the war effort and defeat the Black King. You're going to locate it here, then wait until LoDaS was vacant to steal it for yourself and combine with your own materials to turn the war in the favor of someone that wasn't even a part of it. You.

You pause the memory and begin walking though it, going pass your first changed self and up to the steps of the giant mansion, opening the door, and stepping into the absolute maze of a hive. And that is in a literal sense, this place is a horrific mess that resembled a hastily designed maze for a carnival.

Future Saylen: Search

You wander the paused memory mansion in search of the dead body box, passing room after room of aged artifacts and other hundred piles of just pure junk gathered throughout the centuries. A lot you are marking in your mind to grab for later. Who knows what cool stuff you can make with that golden pimp chalice or that… okay, that's just a piece of wood with some magic looking blood on it, you highly doubt that's important.

Focus, Saylen! You're here for-yes, that. You turned the corner into a room that just so happens to have the coffin you're looking for. A giant bat motif on the front with the letters CD on the front, supposedly holding the body of the strongest Vampire to ever have lived. He wanted to combine it with one of the Sprites, but you have a better idea. Well, sort of. It's similar but it requires many more steps and stealing from other players.

You sigh and step out of the memory, returning to the normal world, now with a proper plan of action. First, Vlad's Land. Secondly, Cavdit's Land. Third, find a way to Collect all the Sprites. Fourth and lastly, get that damn ring from the Black Queen.


	44. Villainous Activities

Be Jazz

You return to the two interplanetary lesbians stepping out of the strange shack, looking at the picture of the wall art.

Jazz: The Grim Trick…

Jazz: what do you think that means?

Saylen: uh…

Saylen: if i had t(o) make a guess, id say s(o)mething n(o)t g(o)(o)d

Jazz: no shit, but what?

Saylen: i d(o)nt kn(o)w

Saylen: im b[ind, n(o)t psychic

Jazz: half blind, but whatever

Jazz: alrighty, so bad shit going down by the name of The Grim Trick

Jazz: what would that even entail?

Saylen: we[...

Saylen: hate t(o) say it but that is a name i w(o)u[d make s(o)

Saylen: s(o)mething t(o) d(o) with future me

Saylen: maybe

Saylen: i just kn(o)w i wanna kick her ass

Jazz: really?

Jazz: i mean, okay, yeah

Jazz: that does make sense

Jazz: she did kill Mistuo

Saylen: exact[y

Saylen: dumb bitch thinks she can get away with that

Saylen: im g(o)nna fuck her up

Saylen: the (o)n[y thing i need t(o) d(o) that is kn(o)w where she is…

Jazz: yeah

Jazz: so where would you go?

Saylen: what?

Jazz: i mean, she is you after all

Jazz: you must have some idea as to where she would go or be doing

Jazz: right?

Saylen paused for a good few seconds before slapping herself in the face, tapping her eyepatch to bring up the game screen. She flicks through them before landing on the one with Vlad's Land where, along with a Sprite that looks a lot like a vampire from an old anime you watched once, was standing with the future version of Saylen!

Saylen: knew it!

Saylen: i was g(o)nna g(o) t(o) his [and and mess with his stuff

Jazz: uh…

Jazz: Say

Jazz: what is she doing

Saylen: we g(o)tta watch this

Jazz and Saylen: Watch this

The two of you watch screen as future!Saylen pulls out her weird end game gun she had amd quickly fire on the Sprite, seeming to completely freeze him in place. She then touched the Sprite, causing a small flash of blue to shine before a Capthacard is popped into existence, soon doing the TARDIS Modus thing of disappearing before it is needed in the future. Then she just turns and walked away out of the house until she was out of frame.

You and the Troll looked to each other a tad bit nervous at this sudden act, not particularly sure what it could entail for the future.

Saylen: jazz

Saylen: we g(o)tta fuckin m(o)ve bef(o)re she gets an(o)ther Sprite.

Jazz: damn right we do!

Jazz: lets go, at least get back to my house

Jazz: we can plan from there

As they start walking, Jazz is soon messaged on Pesterchum by Vlad. He must be aware of what happened. She tapped her scouter and brought up the usual screen to talk.

Jazz: Vlad!

Jazz: been a minute, ain't it?

Vlad: Quite a good minute.

Vlad: But that isn't why I called and I think you know that.

Vlad: I think something went wRong somewheRe.

Vlad: I just got a message on my game screen that we'Re down a SpRite.

Vlad: I don't know how that'll effect us, oR if it will at all, but the SpRites all seemed Really impoRtant.

Jazz: yeah, we know

Jazz: me and Say just watched future bitch Saylen freeze it and card it

Jazz: she has your Sprite in a card somewhere in the endless aether of wherever the TARDIS Modus puts things

Vlad: Oh shit.

Vlad: Why would she want the SpRites?

Saylen tried her best to lean into the conversation despite it being inside your scouter.

Saylen: shes up t(o) s(o)mething!

Saylen: and i w(o)nt [et her g(o) thr(o)ugh with it!

Vlad: Oh, Saylen's theRe?

Vlad: Saylen!

Vlad: What would you be doing with all the SpRites?

Saylen: why w(o)u[d I kn(o)w!

Saylen: y(o)u and jazzy b(o)th h(o)[y shit tits

Saylen: wait…

Saylen paused again with a heavily thought filled look on her face. Before breaking the look by another face palm.

Saylen: s(o)n (o)f a bitch shes g(o)nna destroy the sprites

Jazz: what!?

Saylen: thats what i w(o)u[d d(o)

Saylen: theyre clearly imp(o)rtant and if i wanted t(o) ruin everything i[ destr(o)y big main stuff [ile that

Vlad: Sounds like you have this planned out.

Saylen: i just kn(o)w h(o)w i think

Vlad: Good to know you know how to tell youR own thoughts.

Saylen: fuck y(o)u

Vlad: Time and place.

Saylen: y(o)ur land twenty minutes

Vlad: AlRight, c'mon then.

Jazz: wait, what, no

Saylen: cm(o)n bitch [ets d(o) this

Jazz: i do not like where this is going

Jazz: stop

Vlad: No, she started it and we aRe going thRough with it.

Jazz: Say, you are not doing this

Saylen: n(o)!

Saylen: i mean yes!

Saylen: bitch said it n(o)w were d(o)ing it!

Vlad: LiteRally.

Saylen: yes!

Jazz: NO!

Jazz: fucking no!

Jazz: no way in all fuck are you two doing anything like that in the slightest

Vlad: Oh.

Saylen: uh…

Vlad: I feel we might have stRuck some soRt of neRve.

Jazz: just a little bit

Saylen: s(o)rry jazzy

Vlad: Apologies.

Jazz: its fine, its fine

Jazz: just please, refrain from that conversation forever around me

Vlad: Noted.

Saylen: sure thing

Jazz: thank you

Jazz: now

Jazz: the situation with future Say

Saylen: right!

Saylen: if i was here which i am i w(o)u[d be gathering the sprites t(o) try and ki[ them

Saylen: theyre (o)bvi(o)s[y str(o)ng and imp(o)rtant

Vlad: So without them we'd be weak and vulnerRable?

Saylen: exact[y

Saylen: and if were vu[nerab[e

Jazz: we'll just be easier to take out

Saylen: even m(o)re exact[y

Jazz: damn

Vlad: That's actually pRetty haRdcoRe.

Vlad: So, mine is gone, who's left?

Saylen: let me check

Saylen flips back to the game scenes and through all the screens.

Saylen: (o)kay s(o) firyuts is sti[ there and is mistu(o)s

Saylen: as is jazzys

Saylen: and the twins

Saylen: y(o)urs and mine are b(o)th g(o)ne!

Vlad: Oh dang.

Vlad: Wait.

Vlad: Didn't you combine youRs with the DoctoR fRom one of the posteRs?

Saylen: yeah i did!

Saylen: which means i[ be d(o)wn the m(o)st p(o)werfu[ sprite here

Jazz: shit, i liked that sprite

Jazz: he looked cool

Jazz: especially his bowtie

Saylen Vlad: That's because b(o)eties aRe c(o)(o)[.

There is a long pause before…

Saylen: did we just bec(o)me best friends?

Vlad: Yeah!


End file.
